I'm becoming pathetic
Scratch that
I always was
A step behind everyone else, struggling to keep up
Seeming to others as being strong but it's just
A wall I fight so hard to keep up
The helper. Not the helped
Bottling the words inside
I slowly poison myself
Allowing a drop to spill onto someone else's chest
Is unheard of, so I keep it all instead of risk
Being seen as just some whiny *****
In the end it doesn't come down to understanding
Or trust, or being tough
When I'm crying in bed, gasping for breath
I'd rather let it **** me than bother someone I love

Everything I ever owned
Bound to pages never published
Sealed beneath flesh only wanting to peel
Off bones too heavy with the burdens
I'll leave it all to the sands of time
Let the wind carry it all away
Let the salty beaches nibble at the edges
All I ever was, was a book waiting to be wrote
My will
My last decree
The ending to a story
Finally writing The End
On the last breath of this life
Was the biggest achievement in my life
So bury my memory in your hearts
It will someday fade
Destined to be another light breeze
Everything I am
Everything I was
Leave it to be the way it was meant to end

Wouldn't you say I'm the saddest of them all
Pathetic in existence
A waste of space
Won't you please leave a trace
Of the beauty I thought I had
It makes me sad
That all I do is cry
All mother ask is why
Oh Mirror Mirror on that wall
Will you show me the biggest scar of them all
The ones on my wrist
Where I gave the blade a simple twist
The one on my chest
Trying to give my heart a rest
Oh Mirror Mirror on that ruined wall
Wont your cracks show me when I'll fall
Into the arms of deaths sweet grasp
Not worrying about how much time will elapse
Before my mother finds the letter I hid
The one I wrote when I was a kid
Oh Mirror Mirror no longer hanging from that wall
It seems you were the one to fall
Before I could take my leave
One more breathe our chest shall heave
Since no one cared to fix us
And give us one last chance

You broke my heart
Nearly shattered it
When you told me you weren't sure if you were having it
When you never gave me a choice
To be yours or not
It wasn't a choice at all.
I loved you - love you
With everything I have
You pulled me out of depression.
Made me laugh.
Now you don't want the dependent
You made me
Depending on your voice to weaken my knees
Giving me the courage to climb to my feet at the beginning of each day
Making me wonder  why it should be okay
That I question your love
And the love for myself
Since when did my beauty
Become dependent on someone else?

Leave me alone
Stop making me think of you
I remember everything about you
Your smile
Your laugh
Everything
But get out of my head
I don't love you anymore
Or do I
No I don't
I love her
She's the one I love
She's starting to notice
Somethings on my mind
And she can't find out
I've been thinking of you
I love her
I love her more than anything
But why have I been thinking of you?
I can't figure it out
My heads a mess
I can't think
It's all just one big mess
I wish I could clear it
Just please stay out
I think about you
But I don't love you
I'm with her
I love her
Why won't you get out if my head

You asked me if I remembered you
Like I forgot you
I still have our conversations from a year ago
Your picture still in my phone
Name drawn to perfection
Still in the back of my binder
How could I forget you
Could I ever?
I was your vault to so many secrets
Things I even forgot
But I remember you telling me
"Can I tell you a secret?"
You trusted me when not many others did
I guess you just faded
We both did
I'm not the guy you used to know
Always writing poetry that made sense
Having the talent to actually tell you how you feel
I guess I'm not worried about forgetting you
Your a permanent reminder of who I used to be
The guy you could talk to for any reason
The guy miles away you never met
Just knew could put a smile on your face
Even when things at home seemed unbearable
I wonder if you remember me as that guy
Or wonder who I am now
An alcoholic? Pothead? Homeless freak going nowhere?
Guess I'm a little of all the above
Could I forget you was the question
No I could never
Could you forget me?
If not tell me who I was
Maybe I can be that guy one more time

Her name is faint
Still sends chills down my back
Makes me want to cry
When I remember everything I done to her
Made her feel like she wasn't anybody important
Lost her in my own heart
Forgot to call her
Couldn't face the music
I knew her notes were already written
No love letter
No symphony left behind
Just another whisper on the wind
Left to echo in the desert kingdom of my heart
She was perfect
I was the idiot
I let her drift away
But I guess sand is never meant to stay in one place
When those tides rolled in
She floated away
I only drowned
I know where I went wrong
I can't ever take it back
She's resting her smile on the chest of another
I'm dropping pebbles in the puddles of my own blood
To keep myself from seeing the man I became
The one always wondering if she'll ever love me again
I'm just another whisper in the crowds of her friends
While she's the only whisper in the wind
Echoing in the desert kingdom of my heart
I'm the fool who never listened to her thunderous tears
Stampeding across the land
Never heard the trumpets when she wrote me goodbye
Only saw the world spin
Watched as my castle crumbled
The evacuation sirens blaring
But when I kingdom falls so does the king
This is where I leave you all
Left to my own sorrow
Built walls 24ft thick
With each sandstorm
The walls only collect scratches
While my kingdom gains scars
Forgotten in the sands of time
That whisper on the wind in the desert kingdom of my heart
Became the only friend I ever had
Soon I'll watch as my darkness
Devours it along with my corpse