I close my eyes, and as sure as the wind comes with the rain, bullets come flying

Caught in the crossfire of the thoughts that I control, and the those that try to control me

And I wish

That I could turn off this, machine

because whoever said it has better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all

Had not stayed up all night thinking that maybe

You were the best thing that will ever happen to me

And that you were the world, and I could’ve explored your corners for the rest of my life

And that I just need SLEEP, and TIME, and

Sometimes I forget to eat
And I know it’s an issue but the way that memories of your smile creep
into my routine doesn’t help my appetite.

And I drink to fall asleep
And I know it’s an issue, but my mind spins like a wheel
And it numbs the things I feel

And I know that I’m wrong to miss you
I know that I’m wrong to think of bliss with you
I know that every eyelash is just a wasted wish away from another chance to
Feel again.

So I close my eyes one more time and wave the white flag
Until I fall asleep from this nightmare and wake up where real is open to interpretation

Science says I have 60,000 thoughts per day

I’d say that about half of them are
about how excited I am for lunch

Math says that I now 30,000 thoughts per day.

Not every thought can be an immaculate
conception clay-molded from consciousness

But thanks to you, they can all be of something beautiful

I struggle to say what hasn’t been said
I could go on about her for hours
My sanity was hanging by a thread
And she got inside my minds locked towers

She is more unique than the galaxy
She is more than the name she was given
Her compassion defies all gravity
this beauty, I don’t know where to begin

There are 228 recorded spellings of the name “Unique”

Each is desperate to be unrepeatable, individual, non-conformist, idiosyncratic, original, other.

She didn’t have to try: she was born to be unique.

She is as unique as the name she was given, and the one she has made for herself.

She is beautiful as the words she writes and the ideas she shares with the world

She can make you laugh so hard that you get a weeks worth of 8-minute abs and your face is crimson

She can sing so you forget the world around you as every cell in your body begs to listen to more

When you have lost your way, she will be your tether, keeping you true to yourself

She will remind you every day why out of 7 billion people you will choose her over everyone else because she.

is something else

She will love.

She will love and love and love and love and love and love and she will spread joy with her restless soul because it is too wonderful not to share

She will be herself, and that is more than enough.

Groaning grunts grows greatly
rendering respect… relinquished, reluctantly
over ostracizing only openly
without withholding weary words.

and

Lowly lessons leave larceny,
emptiness embodies, emanates, emulates
around abandoned admiration, amassed.
Recover reference, reticulate resistance
never negate nostalgia knowingly.

There is a dam in my mind
And it is slowly breaking
Memories leaking through.
And when it cracks
and the flood comes through
and I don't know what to do

I
will wish for

Peace

Peace from the war I started between what I thought was right and what I hoped might be the beginning

The beginning of the never ending
The beginning of the never sending

Messages of apology
Checking my astrology

Looking to the stars for answers
And finding dust
Sifting through my fingers

I knew it was the right love
                 But not the right time
                                And so my heart gets colder

Words aren’t heard
They are digested.
Food for thought
And currently I’m starving

Love, is... terrifying.

It’s like a neurological virus spread by smiles and laughter

It can make you feel light as a cloud

Then send you falling back to earth, knocking all of the precious air you would use to apologize.

For all the mistakes you finally realize you made.

For all the reasons they would never have stayed.

There is no cure.

It is just you and me. And a place beyond the trees.

Somewhere we can go to be just us.

Leave the world behind, let them make a fuss.

Spend our days never phasing, and all our nights stargazing.

We

We may be small, but the love we have to give is infinite.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but your smile is worth a thousand worlds.

So let it come to no surprise that it lights up mine.

Eliminating, the hidden sadness behind “I’m Fine”

When our time comes to an end, it won’t be land I hit.

I will fall into the ocean, while a wave drags me under.

The shadow of our time will sink like a ball and chain

And no matter

Of buts

Of what if’s

Of could have’s

Will make it float back to the surface.

Sometimes letting go, is the only way to arise, and see the beauty of the horizon.

My veins are a maze of roads
You
Are rushing through.
My heroine,
That keeps the blood flowing
That keeps the heart beating
That keeps the mind dreaming

You are my drug
I'll pull you close. I need my fix.

Darkness is the absence of light
Hate is the absence of love.


                                      *problem solved

You are the reason
I wake up every morning
with a smile on my face,
And also the reason
it disappears by the end of the day

Let’s have a conversation with no words,
where only each other can know what is heard.
We take a moment of silence for those we have lost,
and that silence for a moment repays the lives it had cost.
Words are only as powerful as the emotions you put behind them,
and as the effort you use to hide them.
The steady meter of your breath, the constant beat of your heart,
It is a symphony, a work of art.

Sometimes we don't understand,
How far our words go

They can repair a heart…

or just as easily rip it apart.

Forgive me for what I have said to you,
in bitterness and in spite
Tell me we can make it through,
*don't fly away tonight

She is a cynic, I like to dream.
She’s calm as a current, I try not to gleam.
She prefers black, I prefer white.
I live in the day while she thrives at night.
We’re opposite as two people can be,
But I challenge you to look closer and see,
We both have thoughts profound.
When we’re together we ignore the world around.
We both view in color and we don’t fret.
Because we both love to watch the sunset.
There is no one for me, but my sweet darling, Annabelle Lee.

I wish,
that there was a guide to the human heart.
A map to how to make someone fall in love, because, that would make it all so much easier. “Just buy some flowers and she’s yours!”
But there is no roadmap. No shortcut, no magic formula.
It is like walking through a desert, looking for an oasis. You think you have found “it”... but,
when you raise your hands to drink…
the sand falls through your fingers.
One among the sea of faces, there are many fish in the sea, but I see one.
Shining bright as the moon in the sky, one pair of eyes, that will make you want to lie
Forever
Stargaze with me, no you don’t have to leave, we are infinite here, take my hand and have no fear.
You are not alone, don’t be battered by stick and stone, you are infinite… and they, are, limited.
Trust me please, take time to breathe.
I will run across the world and jog back around if I could just hear your voices beautiful sound.
We will fly high, and if anyone asks why
We will tell them to give it a try.
Live with no bonds, no chains no shackles,
and wonder why you ever listened to cackles,
people knocking you down to make themselves feel higher,
just wait eventually their judgement will tire.

One thing I have learned, from people
is that they hate, all
other people
We live in a universe, filled
with things we hate.
When life is unfair
We rip each other apart
Aim our sights right for the heart
Because life is not fair
Because so few ever seem to care
Because when all eyes stare
Tears
The only thing, more
hurtful
painful
than stepping on a lego.
Out with the old, in with the new
sense of who stuck around
Not wanting the play to end
But when the lights go down
The bow has been taken
All that remains is the echo of voices
and rows of empty seats