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Mar 2018
I close my eyes, and as sure as the wind comes with the rain, bullets come flying

Caught in the crossfire of the thoughts that I control, and the those that try to control me

And I wish

That I could turn off this, machine

because whoever said it has better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all

Had not stayed up all night thinking that maybe

You were the best thing that will ever happen to me

And that you were the world, and I could’ve explored your corners for the rest of my life

And that I just need SLEEP, and TIME, and

Sometimes I forget to eat
And I know it’s an issue but the way that memories of your smile creep
into my routine doesn’t help my appetite.

And I drink to fall asleep
And I know it’s an issue, but my mind spins like a wheel
And it numbs the things I feel

And I know that I’m wrong to miss you
I know that I’m wrong to think of bliss with you
I know that every eyelash is just a wasted wish away from another chance to
Feel again.

So I close my eyes one more time and wave the white flag
Until I fall asleep from this nightmare and wake up where real is open to interpretation
Written by
   Devon Lane
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