I'm a fancake of pancakes...

Don't open it... Please don't open it.
...what?
...nothing...
No. It's not nothing, I need to tell you everything. I can't tell you if you let him in, I can't tell you when you give yourself away. I can't tell you when you pull away from me... Never mind, I don't need this. I don't need this feeling. I've been hurt, and I didn't even get a chance to say I love you... Well I can't love you now, since you've gone and opened the door. You've still left your air behind you.

I have fallen to two in the realm of neutral. Now I realize the extremes are there to be delved into with heart and soul. No being should neutralize their feelings, thoughts, wants. No being should push away the passionate, intense, and frantic fluctuations from the emotions of the north and south poles.

I don't know why I'm writing this I don't feel anything right now but I'll spread the words out like jam and do my best to portray something.  My mother's speech was engraved into my bones and I feel it everytime I take a step. It's beautiful. Sometimes it hurts. My fathers gaze has pierced my veins and I've never felt a stronger sting then his pity. I, am idifferent to the lust that surrounds me. I am indifferent to the words that try to grasp me and I am indifferent to the gazes that try to catch me. I feel empty and unlatched. It's a good feeling. I feel like water, I feel like clouds. Most of all I feel like a pen waiting to be picked up. I've got nowhere to be and I'm waiting for someone to show me a place to gather a few stones and watch the leaves for awhile. It's not the best way, but what is? I'm drunk. I'm gonna go back and fix my grammar and then I'm gonna post this. It was an experiment. I didn't let myself backspace and I tried typing as fast as I can so my thoughts may ramble and my thumb may slip....

I am not an old soul.
I know this. I know this by the way I look at the stars... I look at the stars as though they are the unmapped territory of my lives that will unfold. I see the stars as wonder, as loud, living and breathing souls that pull my body forward, up.
I am not an old soul.
I know this by the way I fall for people. I know this by the way I pull away from the fall... I kick my feet out in front of me, pull myself up, and look at the stars as if they will pull me forward and up, out of love.  but they keep pushing me up and forward back to you.
I am a new soul,
and I have learned on only my first way around, that you are the most intricate constellation I've had the chance to see in my time. I've also learned... that the stars came together to make you, as their map of my many futures untold.
I am a new soul.