people don’t tease at our age

you see i am too mature to tease and bully

i liked how my dad said that to us

because really everyone is treating me like a bullt

and i ain’t a bully mate

you see as i sit in my chair trying to remember

the times i used ti tease people

i was like a little brat

i never wanted to do much

except for hang around with mates

you see people don’t tease at our age

because it is just not mature

you see i like the idea

of putting the immature me and putting

myself in a drama course

where we muck around and have fun

and then we go straight home

you see people don’t muck around on the street at our age

because that is not what i should be doing

i know there is fun stuff on, but not as you sit on the cold pavement

i like watching footy on the television

as well as the big bash cricket and baseball

people don’t tease at our age, no no they don’t

there is nothing with sleeping on the couch

especially when you ain’t getting any

i do the bbq for the belconnen magpies

and i do a few art groups as well

and i sit in my room watching youtube and TV

ready to P A R T Y

but i don’t tease no way no how

i go to my technology and take a bow

people don’t tease at our age

well, we ain’t supposed to, anyway

kids are young, they don’t know any better

but as you get older you learn not to tease

you sit in your humble home

saying, this is where we are safe

people don’t tease at our age

and they don’t bully either

The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end


Sent from my iPhone

I am not socially baroned
I am cool the coolest dude in Canberra
I know how to be social
I don't know why people think I am socially baroned
And I am not different
I am the same as anyone else
I go out and have fun
More than anyone else
I am the type of guy who loves to have a good time
I like to do my art
I like being social all the time
Even in my living room
Because I love music
And I love partying
I am way cooler than any other **** who just sits in the chair
Watching detective shows
I prefer watching fun shows like home and away and neighbours
And house husbands
And 800 words
Rather than watching crap like miss old fogie marple
I like watching kids shows to enjoy the fun of kids today
I am thinking it would be fun
To go to the multi cultural festival this weekend to
Show civic how to party
I might be fat but I am still way cooler than anyone else
And I enjoy the whole evening
I am not socially baroned
I am very cool man

Toilet paper toilet paper
Why do people in this time
Feel the need to stock up on toilet paper
What is the point of stocking up on toilet paper
That just proves there are a lot of ***** done in a day
People are buying 5 packs of 12 toilet paper, they must have diarrhoea or something
I personally think it is stupid
They say I gotta wipe my ***
About 56 times a day
**** me dead
If you want to have enough toilet paper in a week
STOP FUCKEN EATING
Because I don’t see the connection
With the carrona virus and toilet paper
People are just scared or stupid
Well, they are more stupid
Saying toilet paper toilet paper
We gotta have enough toilet paper
Gotta wipe me ***
Gotta make sure we don’t use our hands discusting
They are also trying to stock up on medications
Mainly a junkies thing though
The carrona virus hits me
Gotta have a Panadol
Or nurefen or Sudafed
Why the **** do people convert into being junkies
People sitting in the mall
Enjoying a high calorie lunch
With 17 undescribed medicine and 6 12 pack toilet rolls
The carrona virus can’t get us
What a bunch of crap
No, those people are news-scared junkies and drug junkies
When I say news-scared
I mean they hear we need toilet paper
So we buy six 12 packs of toilet paper
We are free from any virus
That comes our way
Athena doesn’t heal you if you be a ****** so why do they do it
I am in pain they say
I am in pain
No
They are not in pain
They are junkies and news-scared
Personally I had to buy paper towels to replace toilet paper
Hopefully that works
****** junkies

briano alliano performs at neptune pub


hi dudes

welcome to my show and the first song is patrick the brave man

you see as i do my youtube show, and, man i enjoy it a lot

an old mate patrick will sit up being a man saying your cool

like he was protecting me or something

and he can be brave, he can be bold, even if he is growing old

you see as he sits up on his chair, in my head protecting me

from doing harm to other you see, because do i need it, well, i don’t care

as i look at him, saying, please stop please stop, my lordy lord

he said, there is no such thing as jesus and kept in my head being a big man

and then he wanted to be there forever and ever

like the bird and his feather, come on patrick, come on get out of my head

you need to understand, i ain’t ashamed as i used to be

i perform at badslamnobiscuit poetry slam, every third wednesday of each month

and tomorrow i will play a christmas in july carol, which is cool which is cool

you see, he is saying, brian, you are cool, don’t be ashamed to perform, you are cool

i said, tip methane all over patrick the big protector and sing this

take me out to the ball game

take me home to the crowd

buy me some peanuts and ******* jack

they don’t know if we ever get back

so it’s root root root for the home team

if they don’t win it’s a shame

it’s 1 2 3 strikes your out

at the old ball game

patrick jumps up and says, i still want to show you my man in your head, because you need to understand

i liked you back then, and that’s the truth

our next song is methane over duncan

i would love to tip methane over duncan

i would love to tip methane over him

it’ll improve the quality of his life

and make his future far from dim

you see he will look like a fucken zombie

but it’s up here, that’s fine

i would love to tip methane over duncan

cause he is a nice guy

i would love to tip methane over patrick

yeah it’ll be fun to tip methane over pat

you see, i would love to show him, i can look after myself well

despite the house looking like a bomb hit it again

i will pick up the methane keg and as pat entered the room

i will tip methane over patrick, and say prepare to meet your doom

i would l;ove to tip methane over christopher

i would love to tip methane over him

you see he lives up in the gold coast, man

with his wife and kids, well, methane is the king

it will improve his life, man

whether he believes it or not

i would love to tip methane over christopher

cause, as a brother he’s a good sport

i would love to tip methane over bas boy

i would love to tip methane over him

you see, i want bas boy to work on his next life betty

and allow me to get on with mine

please allow me to do this, it’ll be really so much fun, oh yeah

i would love to tip methane over bas boy, cause it stick better than beer

ok, dudes and now here is another song called simply irresistible

how can it be permissible

to compromise my principle

the methane is passable

and it’s anything but typical

you see it’s a party moment, which can turn off a lot

you used to look so good to me, the methane is simply irresistible

see you soon neptune

briano alliano performing on jupiter




i wish people would treat me normal

like a cool family person should be treated

i wish they would stop trying to bug me, no mate no, i hate it

i don’t like people poking me, it drives me up the wall

you see i am a family person, i don’t like people poking me at all

i know people love to poke me, because they think it is kinda fun

but i can say oh pretty one, it’s not fun for me

i don’t want people to get me back for what i do to them

cause, ya see, that is how hooligans get treated

and i am not a hooligan

ya see god, is a made up being, what is wrong with believing in buddha

i never liked people poking me, just leave me alone

you see their constant poking made me feel like a hooligan oh yeah

how they tried to get me off the seat, saying your not like your father, no

but i have the right, to do what i want, i am a family person, anyway

i hate being called a woos, i wish people would understand that

i like computers as well

computers are totally radical dude, in every sort of way

i don’t want people to tease me, cause they were called pat me grind and i was called brains

you can’t change the past ya see, it’s not my fault that you were pat me grind

i know, people are stupid when they do that stupid poking about

poking is what you give a hooligan when they are too shy to muck with the family

but i am a family person who has paranormal visions

i can’t help that i can muck around with the dead

i can’t help that i can workout previous life patterns

i think people are crazy, if they try and reform beliefs

because these are my beliefs, these are my beliefs

reincarnation can make death up-lifting

point to the sky to see what you can find

whether you can see jupiter or saturn

and at the night you will see the moon, yeah that sounds mighty fine to me

i don’t want to be treated like a little shy boy, i ain’t shy at all

though i don’t want to fight, but i want to PARTY

yeah that sounds so very cool

picture in your mind what you see

the rightful serving of the lord

i hate these devil worshipping reading minds freaks who think they can really dampen my spirits, on noseree

you see i love life too much to let that worry me

i don’t want to be a shy koomarri who just cleans his house, BORING, mind you i do clean my house sonny Jim

i feel hooligans trying to poke all over my body, to take the family person out of me

please leave me alone, for i am now a real family person can’t ya see

here is my next song

you see hooligans trying to poke the family person out of me

because my stories of previous lives is boring them, poor babies

they are little kids, and they are as ******* as ****

i am a cool koomaerri oh yeseree

you see these poems are computer power yeah

though i understand what can happen with social media, i still am rather famous oh yeseree

on the top of the world looking down on creation and on every planet i can find

any dream will do, my mate and open a can of methane my mate, i will see you at the top of the world

and there is nothing wrong with an adult partying, just don’t poke me

you see i am hearing myself with a mate named james

you see i used to tease james while he was trying to type, and i need people to understand i am reformed

i am top of the world looking down on jupiter and i wish you can stop poking me

because i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, you see james pederson was a total ****

and he sai hoy hoy hoy don’t tease me, he was easy to flaming tease

and i carried it a bit far at the football, when i teased him again, and i knocked him over

and i felt on top of the world looking down on that baby, you see he is ******* as a fucken ****

i know i don’t do that anymore, please don’t get me back for it

because while on medication i feel on top of the world

you see i never really helped anyone as a child, but i tried to make up for that as an adult

because i am a family person anyway, i8 teased all the kids at school, making them feel uncomfortable

now, i am on medication and i feel on top of the world

when i was young i looked as being mental as stupid

and we used to make jokes about teasing people at kenmore

but when i found out i am mental too, the shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it

i felt on top of the world looking over crazy people, never knowing i will be one of them

all i want is to be treated like a internet ****** and let bygons be bygons

as i am a reformed man anyway

just meet me at the top of the world, dudes

Briano alliano performs on Jupiter

Hi dudes and dudettes
Welcome to my concert up here on Jupiter and it is time to have some fun and here is my first song for you called robbers and bandits

You see as I walk down the city streets
I see these robbers and bandits
Trying to take my money
Saying please please honey
Can I have your money
You see we are poor and
We have no place to call home at night
I said there is no need to rob me
I will give you $2 to $5 and I know that might not be enough
But I am just as hard done by as you in a way
The robbers and bandits said
To me we need your blood
And we need your money
I know you might not like that
But it is our only way
So just give us $3000 ok
If you don’t you will die
Personally I prefer to be positive
About how silly they are being
Trying to rob a Good Samaritan
Like me, you here about it on the news and you don’t think of it happening in real life
But I think it happened and I have to just sit back and say
Robbers and bandits had me again

The next song is push me to the limit
You see when I was young
I was really cool
I used to tease my dad
Who I thought was being conservative too
You see he came up to me and said
C’mon I will fight you I’ll fight you yeah I will
But he was trying to make me stand up for myself
And I thought mate I needed to put pride in myself
But I know dad didn’t mean to
As such but he pushed me to the limit oh shucks
I was just being a normal kid
Teasing my father and being rude
Dad hated what I was doing to him
He gave me medication to calm
Me down
It worked for a while but then
I completely lost it
When the drugs I was taking
Started to push me to the limit
I hated it I really did
But fighting the people that were trying to help me
Well, this wasn’t cool
So I decided to obsess about taking the meds, even if I got
Strange dillusions which I didn’t want I sat there watching
Family programs on tv
Because of the fact I have
No family of my own
It worked out ok till one day
The dollusions came and I did something bad and straight to the psych ward I went
You see the doctors were bad
And i thought they
Pushed me to the limit in an unusual way then my dad said to me just stay with your friends
And let them help you
But it was hard and I felt pretty ****, so I sang fly burgers loud and strong

The next song is I want to go to the movies
Oh I want to go to the movies
To see a movie that is cool
Like raising Arizona and beaches and ghostbusters
I felt pretty cool
Then I saw polar express and then I saw Arthur’s Christmas
And superman returns as well as goal yes that makes me feel so divine and if I don’t feel like going there I will watch movies on tv like Harry Potter da Kath and Kim code and pirates of
The carribean too
Yes they are all good movies
And yes I will enjoy them a lot
Drink a beer or a methane smoothie yeah oh yeah
These movies are great

What a song this next song is living next door to a party
You see we are trying to watch
Our shows on tv
When a great big loud speaker
Played music so loud
And the swearing, mate wasn’t quite as good we need to fix
The noise because it’s deafening and after that
The television played around
You see the computer chips
Were playing around
It is all because we all
Were living next door to a party
Listening to swearing and loud music and people swinging around and hanging up and hanging down and partying good yes we hang around outside pubs and yes we are cool but me I thought these people are in no club, and they have to be careful not to break anything, but they don’t care as they party loud and you find it hard to live next door to a party

That was a good song yes it’s groovy our next song is called mmmm donuts
Oh yeah I love my donuts
I feel like Homer Simpson
As I bring down my donuts
Yeah I love them they are nice
Mmmmm donuts mmmmmm donuts I love them I love them
Yes when I eat a donut
It melts in my mouth
I feel like a little sour ****
As I eat one down and then the other
I give the donut to my mother
What if she does the donut rap
And partied down
Up up up up and down down down
You see if you look like Homer Simpson you must say
Mmmmm donuts every single day
Mmmmm donuts every single day c’mon party the Homer Simpson way

Thank you Jupiter crowd and that was mmmmmm donuts the great song and now here is my waltzing Matilda
Once a jolly young dude
Partied from club to club
Dancing with all the girls in there
And after that we drank some taquila shots you’ll come a partying with Matilda oh yeah
I love a party really really partying I might not look it
But I am a social guy
I go to events to party down with the party dudes
Oh yeah
Then we got down to the great
Football club we watched the game and listened to the band
The music they played was cool and very very hip and the girls asked me to dance
I danced an unusual way everybody looked at me
Thinking I was a tad crazy
But I didn’t care because I am a party dude you’ll come a partying in the football club with me

Thank you dudes and dudettes and now here is a great song called this is *******
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
The crap you are trying to tell me is driving me up the wall
I hate that crap I really do
So why do you want to play ******* to me
Ahh this is *******
Oh yeah this is *******
Watching ****** reality television which doesn’t mean a thing
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
You see they play gridiron
And they play ice hockey
And yeah it is party time
I like partying and I like teasing
The conservos as they are doing their jobs
You see ahh they speak ******* total total *******
Ahh this is *******
It is total *******
Watching the crap they speak on sky news on win
You see it is right wing crap ya see
As the oldies sit there with their cup of tea
Yeah that is *******
Total utter *******
Yes ******* comes around
In their mouths every day
Yes they do
Ahh they speak *******
Complete and utter *******
And that is the truth
Or is it ahhhh *******
Thanks guys and gals and I want to say this enjoy Jupiter and I will see you when I come again.

Briano Alliano performing at Saturn cub rings


Hi dudes and welcome to Saturn club rings and this is where
You go and really party, my first song is, from the poor man to the ****

Gabba Gabba Gabba gab from the poor man to the ****
You see I want your money, baby from the poor man to the ****
Gabba Gabba Gabba gab I want to rob you dry
Cause your got money and opportunities and I have got nothing oh no
I wish I wish I wish wish I had money from a well-paid job
Because I am poor I am stuck trying to struggle to find my path in life
I don't really like  disability work they treat you like such ****
Sitting in their big jobs not giving a **** of what I need to say
Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba gab says the poor man to the ****
I want Heaps of your money says the poor man to the ****
Please gimme all of your cash, said the poor man to the ****
And if you try and be a young dude, the other young dudes call you a Woosey or a ****
I want the ****** rich ***** to fucken gimme a go
Instead of just using me as a target to a tease
I don't want to be yelled at just because I am from a rich family
I prefer to be left alone to do my art in peace
Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba says the poor man to the ****
I wish you would give your loot, says the poor man to the ****
You see as I watched the footy last night, they told me Sydney were the worst
But at least they won in 2005 and 2012, they are best team in the land
Go the mighty Sydney swans said the poor man to the ****
So, the mighty team, they lost last night, fro, the poor man to the ****

Ok dudes I have told you, how much I want to help the poor, I am a cool dude
Who wants to party, here is a song called, hey mr cocky man

Hey mr cocky man what are you going to give me today
I can tell you I would like $1-000-000, yeah that will make me glad
I have more good ideas of helping the poor than you will ever had
Because I know what they want, because I look past the Yelling
Thinking there must be a reason why they are getting cranky, dude
Because I want to help them, and not get fought by them
So I will offer them a little bit of my cash, and then
Say, I will give them a homeless man's hotel
Where they can round the clock care and room service, mate
And a bar to get ****** in,and before you ask me,do they deserve it
I will say,yeah they do, they deserve it more than the rich
Because the rich go to the hotels every weekend
And poor young dudes like me have only got to do that once or twice
You see, I don't wanna be Called a ****, I am not a kid
I am a man who has reasons to help the poor, because they are really suffering, man
They feel need to yell at people who Are here to help them oh yeah
Because the big fat rich ***** doesn't fucken well give a toss
So, hey mr cocky,man, when are you going to give us money
You see if I was in that same situation I would give it to them
I would give them a million, if I had a million to spare that is
That Tony Abbott doesn't care no way
You see, I am an adult who loves to give the poor people a go
Better than those rich conservative stock market junkies
I know, it's good to invest in money, but there are too many poor people around
Suffering like they shall, nobody understands how
Except for me the Poor people are under a spell to the rich

Hi and now we have a song called I would love to give money to Duncan

I would love to give money to Duncan
I would love to give money to Dunc
I would make sure he has what he wants
Like clothes and food, yeah maybe a beer to get drunk
You see poor people really suffer
So what we need to do is this
Is giving money to to Duncan
Cause he is our friend
I would love to give money to Patrick
I would love to give money to him
If I had a million to spare, but if he was suffering
I would drop a $2 coin in the tin
Yeah that'll make him happy
And everyone will be happy yeah
I would love to give money to Patrick cause he wants a beer
I would love to give money to Harry
Yeah he needs it yessiree
You see I feel very sorry for him
Because day in and day out, he is suffering
We really need to help Harry
To make the atmosphere so great
We need to give money to Harry
Cause he is a good mate

Ok dudes, now we will tip methane on everyone who doesn't give a rats ***


Sent from my iPad

BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMING ON THE SUN




HI DUDES AND NOW, TO HOPEFULLY FREE MY SPIRIT, LET’S SCARE AWAY THESE TERRORISTS

FROME EVER GETTING US, THE FIRST SONG IS I’M A HOOLIGAN, PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS


YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG YOU SEE

I WAS A TAD DIFFERENT YA SEE

I HATED WHAT THE WORLD HAD IN STORE FOR ME

SO I DEVELOPED MY NEW BRAND OF HOOLIGAN

YOU SEE, PEOPLE SAY TO ME SILLLY THINGS

LIKE HOOLIGANS TEASE FOR ME

I WENT OUT AND PLAYED COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS NOW

AND I SANG

I AM A HOOLIGAN, PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I SAY I AM A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

BUT REALLY I AM A DIFFERENT KIND OF COOL KID, YEAH

YOU SEE SOME BIG BOZO NICKED MY LUNCH

AND SAID DON’T GET KIDNAPPED BE LIKE US

CAUSE HE WANTED TO PROTECT ME FROM THE HOOLIGANS YEAH

HE SAID, NO DUDE, HOOLIGANS TEASE FOR ME

AND HAVE A NICE HOT CUP OF TEA OR COFFEE

AND PLAY COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS, LIKE A HOOLIGAN

YA SEE, I AM A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

I HATE THE LIFE OF A BORING FAMILY, LIKE MINE WAS AT THE PRESENT

BUT I LIVE IN THE PRESENT, FOR A PRESENT OH DEAR

I AM A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS, WHO JUST WANNA GO TO BED

YOU SEE AS I DO MY TAPESTRY, I SIT THERE SMILING AT YOU

CAUSE YOUR A LITTLE FAMILY KID, WHO PLAYS AROUND WITH MYSELF

BUT I CAN CREATE AN IMAGINARY FAMILY OUT OF ALL THE IMAGES IN MY HEAD

I TRY AND SAY I AM NOT A PHEDAPHILE, I’M A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS ALL DAY LONG

I AM A HOOLIGAM PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

I AM BEING TOLD TO GO TO BED TO MUCK FAMILY FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

MY FEET ARE PLANTED ON THE FLOOR, YA SEE I AM A HOOLIGAN A HOOLIGAN A HOOLIGAN

PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

YOU SEE, THE VISIONS OF OLD FOGIES YEAH

TREATING ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS, YEAH MATE YEAH

REALLY DUDES, I AM NOT A YEAH MATE YEAH KID ANYMORE, I WAS TRYING TO BE A HOOLIGAN, THIS IS HOW IT GOES

I WAS A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY, I JUST WANTED TO BE A HOOLIGAN

I WAS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS OF WHAT HOOLIGANS FACE

I WAS PLAYING, OH PLAYING, YEAH I WAS PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS EVERY DAY


AND NOW HERE IS KIDNAP MY SOUL


I WANT THEV TERRORISTS TO KIDNAP MY SOUL, GET RID OF MY LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I WANT TO FACE THEV WORLD ALONE, YEAH I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL YEAH

I DON’T WANT THE TERRORISTS TO REALLY GET ME, I AM NOT STUPID, MAN

BUT I WANT TO RID THIS SILLY VOICE, TRYING TO MAKE ME REMIND ME IM USED TO BE A HOOLIGAN

I KNOW, I WILL BE A TV STAR, OR I HAVE TO DO, I9S PARTY

AND IF I SOUND BORING, YEAH MATE YEAH

I HAVE TO WORK ON MY VOICE

I KNOW, I WAS A HOOLIGAN WHEN I LIVED IN WOODBERRY

BECAUSE, I HAD NO KNOWLEDGE, I HAD NO ENERGY

I WAS JUST ISOLATED IN MY ROOM

I KNOW, ALL I DO NOW IS MY COMPUTER, BUT I CAN BE COOL AS WELL

I GO OUT TO FUN EVENTS, YEAH MATE YEAH I AM COOL

AND I WANT THEM TO COME AND KIDNAP MY SOUL

AND WHISK ME AWAY, OH YEAH, I LIKED BEING A DIFFERENT PERSON

AND UNTILL I LEARNT THE TRUTH, BEING A HOOLIGAN WAS FUN AS WELL

PLEASE UNLEASH MY WOODBERRY SPIRIT, AND ALLOW ME TO WASH AWAY MY SPIRIT OH YEAH

DON’T MAKE ME ALWAYS REGRET, SOME CRIME, I DID UMPTEEN YEARS AGO

I WAS ONLY A HOOLIGAN CAUSE OF LAST 2 HUMAN LIVES KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AT 8

PLEASE, ALLOW ME, TIME TO GET OUT OF THIS LIFE

CAUSE, MY FAMILY THINKS IT’S COOL TO TREAT ME SHY

IF I AM SHY, I AM A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS, WHICH MY FAMILY ARE

YEAH, THEY HAVE FUN, BUT I PREFER THE SHAYTARDS, CAUSE I AM A COOLER FAMILY MAN

YESTERDAY I WAS GIVEN IMAGES OF MY MUM EATING LIKE A SCHITZOPHRENIC

AND, I HAVE WEIRD VIBES, WHEN I SOMETIMES EAT THERE, I CAN’T HELP IT, I JUST WANTED BACK THEN

TO BE A HOOLIGAN, PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS,

COMING TO KIDNAP MY FUCKEN SOUL

I AM DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY, CAUSE THEY ARE CHRISTIANS OR NICE TO CHRISTIANS

I TRY AND BE NICE TO ME, CAUSE I AM A BUDDHIST, WHO IS BEING PUSHED DOWN

TO BE A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS EVERY DAY

AND AS I SIT UP HERE ON THE MOON, I SAY, LOOK AT THOSE YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

BEING ****** IN TO FAMILY LIFE, AND I AM TRYING TO GET REFORMED FROM

A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

CAUSE, MY LIFE IS GREAT, BUT STILL I SUFFER

BUT I STILL PREFER TO BE A BUDDHIST ARTIST WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

THAN A UNEMPLOYED ***, EVERYONE WANTS THE PERFECT LIFE

WHY I CAN’T I BE ONE OF THE FUNLOVERS, DUDES

OR DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A HOOLIGAN PLAYING COOL FOR YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS

WHO GO TO BED SAYING THEY ARE OLD TIME *******

HELLO OLD, I AM BRIAN

Hi and welcome to Jupiter moon
For this great concert of great music

40-000-000 dead beats
Living on the dark streets
North east west south
Being cool oh yeah mate
Partying all over dude
Eating lots of exciting food
Like methane smoothies mate
Yeah mate yeah
Dancing all over your house mate
Dad going yeah alright Brian
Saying he meant he loved me
Yes he did
Partying down the firehouse
Then going home trying to be as quiet as a mouse
After drinking bourbon and smoking cigs
Yes that is what you want to do
Dancing all over your house
Saying to your voices who is boss
Eating food so really messy
To prove you ain’t a problem mate
Making your voices look worried yeah
Saying you ain’t like us anymore
I have lost my friend

Next song is this
Left my heart to the club oh dude
I sold a portion of my cigarettes
To the rough people yeah
I went to the private bin
And shook my boogie on the dance floor
And I never understood why people on the street were teasing me
Then I got on the dance floor
To show people how to party
Yeah mate
I got home and my voices went crazy
Seeing everyone I know all over my head
It really drove me nuts
I danced to Duncan
And did the hokey pokey
Saying I love to have a beer with daddy
Cause he was my mate
I used to love life a lot back then
Then I remembered my brother
Called me the name brin
Showing he really loved me
And saying he took the a out of my name
Because it was good
I felt cool
Even though my original
Thought was to be tough like a fighter would be oh yeah
Oooooh yeah mate yeah dude party
Next song is this
I was a hooligan back then yeah
I realise back then it was hard to be a family person because I was scared to have *** oh yeah mate yeah
And it was the grim reaper add on the television making it hard for me to think about having *** in any way I want
I really wanted children
Not knowing how hard it is
But overall that ad really scared me off from getting with a girl
People saying it’s normal to have *** yeah
And it is normal to have thoughts
Of having *** you see even when you are scared to do it yeah
I had this girls in college
Named Anna Clare Yvonne and Tanya
Who I really wanted to do it yeah
But I was scared of the grim reaper add it really ****** frightened me
And that is the reason why mate I never had *** to this day
And looking at shows where people are having *** yeah
Or seeing people having happy families from that
Makes me feel a bit weird
Despite me wanting to watch those shows because they teach me
That I shouldn’t have been scared
I should have been careful
But now I am a writer and artist
With dreams of bringing people
To their next lives
And my soul is the kind of soul
To enjoy the beauty of ***
Ooooh yeah yeah
I hope you enjoyed that song
It is the reason why I haven’t got kids
And despite wanting to feel the happiness and love of kids
The stupid grim reaper stopped me
I don’t know why I can’t explain it
But mate I feel like a hooligan
Who is having a hard time dealing with it

Captured in the psych ward



Today Ron was busy when a former personal trainer/strongman was admitted into the ward, his name was Benjamin Parker and Ron was wondering why he would groom young girls online and Ben said
I felt lonely and bored and a tad sad and I always had people tease me when I was young, and Ron said is that a perfect reason to groom a child online and Ben said I wanted to one day to have kids and I never was in a good relationship with and Ron said
You do know that it was wrong for you to do that and I think you have a psychosis problem which abilify could help in making you show remorse
And whilst Ron was talking Ben was texting his best client saying you need to keep up your exercise and Ron said you know you won’t get your job back
Because you will never be able to work with vonerable people and Ben said GET ****** I am not giving up my life because some quack told me too and Ron went on his break and went to his cafe to talk to his friends and without saying his name he said this former strongman/personal trainer is getting crankier and crankier with him because I want to help him and they said what did he do and Ron said groom a child online and they said that is awful and Ron went back to the ward to prepare the abilify and epplim to get his mind totally clear and then Ron said to Ben you will be in here for as long as it takes for you to get better, you know talk about what you did and realise you were wrong and Ben said well, my mum loves me and so does my dad and my family have my back, I want to have a girlfriend but the only girls for me are online and Ron said yes, but it is wrong what you did, I need to understand why you did it
Facebook and messenger can be dangerous ways to meet the opposite *** especially when you could be risking your life or freedom, ever thought of going to the pub or meeting place rather than online
Because you were talking to these girls for a very long time and I ain’t happy with the information you gave me and then Ben said I like kids
They are cute, they are sexier than adults because kids listen to my training tips and adults don’t, well, some do but they are the nice ones
But I thought that kid really understood me and I understood her and when I asked to meet her she got all fucken defensive and I know this is wrong but she wanted it I can tell
And Ron said ok, I will start you on the pills, and let me know if you get anymore thoughts and Ben said ok
But I ain’t finished with you, you see I was visioning a **** young wife who could give me plenty of children and Ron said that girls father wanted to punch you, and you are in here for your own protection and Ron clocked off and bought a pizza and went home to watch the AFLW hoping his fave team wins

Peter and Patrick went to sea
And then played another trick on me and never giving up
Oh no, never giving up
They walked into the building
And stole $1000 and each bit of guilt they were feeling let out a mighty big hollar
And then they prayed to god
To build them all a better life
After that they went to the nite club to look for a wife
Over to the bridge they go
Where the other side is snow
On this cold winters day
What more can you say
Peter and Patrick went to the sea and played another trick on me, but I don’t care cause I love life oh yes I do
Susan and Robbie said to each other how many years is your brother, both of them had a brother, and that is what made them glad
Sometimes I find it to be hard
To burn off that extra lard
I was fit back then even if I ain’t now, yes I party hardy won’t starty
Peter and Patrick went to the sea and they played another trick on me and also the devil played the same trick on me
Every time I walked in the room
Will you make me a card for my birthday with flowers and leaves and broom broom cars on it
You see this is the moment where we party yes
Right to the very end
So as Peter and Patrick went to sea
They couldn’t play a trick on me
And that is cool, cause I am too smart for them
Party all night, no tricks please

Hi, my name is briansies the older sibling, oh yeah



You see I am a bit different to the rest of the world
They like drinking themselves silly, and I simply don't
I want to sleep while others are still out
I never took off to another city at the heat of the moment
Because I worry about what could happen
Instead of actually playing proper sport
I will just settle for backyard sports
And I will enjoy that a lot, oh yeah
My highest score in a single cricket innings is 846 n.o
And I try to keep my score above my younger sibling
And he will say Briansies, what are you doing
And I would say, I just want to be more popular than you
And he would hit me with his rhythm fist, hit me oh yeah hit me
Hit me slowly, man and hit me quick, oh hit me hit me hit me
I would say, do you like hitting me
And he will say, I hit you all night long
I hit you baby, all night long, and if you can't take it, man
You are a baby, waaaa waaaaa waaaaaa
Then I said to him, hi, my name is Briansies, the older sibling, oh yeah
Then me and my sibling, and my father went for an early morning swim
And we body-surfed and splashed each other, yeah we had fun
My sibling would say, this is unfair, and dad would say
Oh, poor little baby, our splashing is making you very tender and weak
Ooh we had better stop, don't you reckon
And I wanted to be a friend to my sibling, so I said
Hi, I am bop, Briansies and I am ready to bop with you, oh baby ooh ooh
I want you to be happy, because I like boppin' around going bop bop bop
And I go right to the shop, yeah, I am bop, the guy down the shop
My sibling will call me a ****, but it doesn't bother be, cause my name is
Briansies, the older sibling, oh yeah, and I am so cool, dudes
And that is what we want, just Briansies,

We had a lovely cat
And his name was lucky
Beautiful little ***** cat
Smarter than the average rat
You see when he wants food
He will scratch my dad
Till his legs were blood
Didn’t we have a lovely goose
And her name his Lucy
Every time we play Yahtzee
Lucy’s there it give us good luck
And when we do well
We pat his head
What a silly goose
Didn’t we have a lovely Ted
His name was white teddy
He is as cuddly as can be
When you sleep he gives us a good feeling
We had a beautiful cat
His name was snoopy
Snoopy poopy sngeloopy
Looking after his property and his rubber bands
He used to eat twisties
Didn’t we have a lovely cat
And her name was fluffy
Cute little ***** car
Smarter than any rat
You see she used to like mummy
And also loved potato chips
You see she was a lovely cat
Cute dear fluffy

Pigs are crap criao crap
Oh yeah they are crap
Pigs are crap crop crap
Oh yeah they are crap
They lock you up for a crime
You never committed
That is why pigs are crap
They tap you on the shoulder yeah and they will give you
A coke or a beer
To wet your tastebuds
Yeah that will be cool
But I still state that pigs are crap
Pigs are crap crap crap
Oh yeah dude the pigs are crap
They lock you up for play fighting yeah those pigs are cool
But overall those pigs are crap

the allan family story, HAPPY NEW YEAR



brian allan was getting bored with what his family was doing on nye

so he went to his room and played a nye show and each song was cool

the first song was poison’s nothing but a good Now Listen
Not a dime, I can't pay my rent
I can barely make it through the week
Saturday night I'd like to make my girl
But right now I can't make ends meet

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

[Chorus]
Don't need nothin' but a good time
How can I resist
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time
And it don't get better than this

They say I spend my money on women and wine
But I couldn't tell you where I spent last night
I'm really sorry about the shape I'm in
I just like my fun every now and then

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

[Chorus]

You see I raise a toast to all of us
Who are breakin' our backs every day
If wantin' the good life is such a crime
Lord, then put me away
Here's to ya

[Chorus: x3]

and brian allan who was being told by his dad and mum to quieten down decided to play

a kylie minogue song, got to be certain
"Got To Be Certain"

[1a:]
You keep on asking me
Why can't we be together
I keep saying won't you wait a while
What's all the hurry
I thought we had forever
I just need time 'til I can make up my mind

[1b:]
I'm not asking for
A love to last forever
I don't expect to get a guarantee
It's just that I believe
Lovers should stick together
I'm only saying
Won't you wait for me

[CHORUS:]
I've got to be
Got to be certain
I've got to be so sure
I've had my share of hearts broken
And I don't wanna take that any more

[2a:]
I've got some friends who say
Boys are all the same
They're only looking out for just one thing
I'm only hoping that
You won't turn out like that
I need some time 'til I can make up my mind

[2b:]
Been hurt in love before
But I still come back for more
I was such a fool
I couldn't stop myself
If you believe in me
If you want our love to be
I know you'll wait for me, oh, oh, oh, oh

[CHORUS:]

[BRIDGE:]
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[1b:]

[CHORUS:]
[repeat & fade]

you see brian allan was really having a ball but still he couldn’t control his loud voice

but brian allan said, he really wants to celebrate nye this day so he went to the allan’s fridge

and got a can of coke and sang this song


Another Saturday night
By: Jimmy Buffett

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

I got in town a month ago
I've seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet 'em I could get 'em
But as yet I haven't met 'em
That's why I'm in the shape I'm in

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Now another fella told me
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of being my deliverance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat name Frankenstein

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Yeah, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

It's ******* a fella
When he don't know his way around
If I don't find me a honey
To help me spend this money
I'm headin' back to key west town

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Just another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I'm in an awful way

It's awful, all dressed up and no place to go, no one to help me spend
My flow, another Saturday night, get me the pizza man.
Songwriters: COOKE, SAM
Another Saturday Night lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc.




and then brian allan said, i want to be convicted of love in the first degree and i will open this can of coke and party all over his bedroom and make
mr and mrs allan say stop playing this loud music brian

"Love In The First Degree"

Last night I was dreaming
I was locked in a prison cell
When I woke up I was screaming
Calling out your name (whoa)

And the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me (the blame on me)
They wanna tell from my story
They want to hear my plea

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (guilty)
Guilty as a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree

(Guilty) Of love in the first degree

Someday I'm believing
You will come to my rescue
Unchain my heart, you'll keep him
Let me start a new (you)

The hours passed so slowly
Since they've thrown away the key (away the key)
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Won't you help me please

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (guilty)
Guilty as a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree

(Guilty) Of Love in the first degree

(Guilty)
Of Love

(Guilty)
Of Love in

(Guilty) Of Love

(Guilty) Of Love in

(Guilty)
Of love in the first degree

And the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me
They wanna tell from my story
They wanna hear my plea

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (Guilty)
As a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree


Submit Corrections

and then brian allan looked at his clock radio and saw the time was 11:45 and brian

allan played the air guitar really loudly to run to paradise



Baby, you were always gonna be the one
You only ever did it just for fun
But you run to paradise
Jenny, I'll meet you at the grocery store
You don't need a friend when you can score
You run to paradise

Johnny, we were always best of friends
Stick together and defend
But you run to paradise
And mamma, now don't you worry 'bout me anymore
And I see you crying at the door
When I run to paradise

That's right, they had it all worked out
You were young and blonde
And you could never do wrong
That's right, they were so surprised
You opened their eyes up
(Opened their eyes up)
Opened their eyes up

[Chorus]
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you don't, open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise
(Open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise

Good times, why'd I let 'em slip away
Why'd I let them slip away
'Cause I lived in paradise
Run to paradise
Run to paradise
Run to paradise

Jesus says it's gonna be alright
He's gonna pat my back
So I can walk in the light (that's right)
You don't mind if I abuse myself
So I can hold my head up
(Hold my head up)
Hold my head up

[Chorus]

You don't want anyone
(You don't, hold my head up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise
(Open your eyes up)
You don't need anyone
(Open your eyes up)
You don't need anyone
You'll tell me, this is paradise

[Chorus x2]
brian allan then was counting down to midnight and sang auld lent zine and his parents came in and opened the door and
said HAPPY NEW YEAR

I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
Cause they act so silly
Putting dresses on washing machines
And singing stupid jingles too
Like making a ballad out of happy little vegemites, sounds so fucken lame
Getting married so young
Even if their babies are cute
They have them at 17, too young
I think adds a terrible
You see when they advertise
Life insurance boating camping fishing and they have fathers who are into that kind of thing but not many
Are into that add, so dumb
People who were fighting over toilet paper and other groceries at the start of the pendemic how fucken stupid
Yes I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids who do adds just to pay the rent
They don’t realise that the thing they advertise something only the rich can buy
You see people are showing their old fogies legs as their Hormones is erecting their ***** and the might of their ****** is ******* all day long
People only like people who are doing ****** things and if they don’t they are dumb why can’t people be respected doing family friendly activities
That would be for me
I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
And I am happy

brian has a knife to his neck



today is a horrible day for brian, well, not that horrible, well he went to

the baseball, with cath and michelle from his work, and they all went for

the local team which was the canberra cavalry, and every time the cavalry

scored a home run, brian, cath and michelle would cheer very loudly,

cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap

and the cavalry didn’t disappoint their supporters in this match, and

then the hit a beautiful home run and cath caught it, what a absolute whopper

and she said, that she will give it to her 12 year old son, and then daniel sat near

brian and said you are too woosey to be a man like this, how about we leave now

so i can hold a knife to your neck, i don’t want to harm you, i just want to have

a piece of you with each of us, brian said, no, i am watching the baseball, can’t

you understand this, and daniel said, no, i can’t understand why you can’t come

with me, you are too woosey to be a family person anyway, buddy, and brian just sat there

and then young micheal sat next to brian, and he had a little pocket knife, with him

and mate, he was very inexperienced with knives, like he often put a knife at people’s

necks, as if it was a special game or something, and after the game was over, brian

said goodbye to cath and michelle and ran off towards the bus, and daniel followed him

with his pocket knife, if brian stopped, the knife would go straight through his neck, and

as usual, brian was scared that daniel was going to **** him, and ran home saying

leave me alone leave me alone, i am a cool kid, i went out with people from my work

and i don’t deserve what you are doing to me, and brian got home and locked his door

and daniel yelled through his door, saying open up little woosey, you aren’t like the adults,

open up little woosey, you aren’t like adults, and brian went to bed, and the next morning

brian got up and went to work and micheal was in the front, playing with his pocket knife

while daniel was in the back, playing with his pocket knife, and brian hates the idea

of dying, but every time daniel picked up his pocket knife, he would hold it to brian’s neck and

say, come on little woosey, allow me to stab you, man, allow me to stab you, and brian’s mate

from 1989  was screaming through houses,,saying shut up, every time brian tried to be a family

person, despite not really meaning to do that, he just did that to make the other young dudes to like him

and brian massaged nicheals neck, and micheal said, stop it, or i will get this knife, and put it right to

your neck and then daniel jumped into the back seat and said, come on little woosey, except me

as i am holding this knife to ya, i want to scare you off from being a family person, cause youy

are too woosey to be a family person anyway, brian, and daniel picked up the pocket knife and

said, i will stab you woosey, brian said, i am a famous family person, and daniel said, yeah, a

family person to a ****, yeah and famous only to your mothers eyes, only, if you try and be like us, brian

i will get this knife and stab you in the neck, cause you are a little trouble making woosey, and

brian said, leave me alone, i am reformed, i haven’t done a crime for years, and this person

said, no you are not reformed buddy, be like us buddy, your not reformed brian, brian said

i am reformed, it’s daniel and micheal that need to be reformed, and you need to be reformed

too, and then daniel held a knife to brian’s neck and said you ain’t a man, your too woosey

to be a man, your not reformed brian, and brian said, i am so reformed, i don’t need this

awful treatment i am getting from you, you see micheal was playing with his pocket knife

he looked like bart simpson, and daniel kept on holding the knife to brian’s head saying

no your not, you ain’t reformed, buddy, you are a little woosey, and brian screamed out

I AM NOT A LITTLE WOOSEY, I AM FAMILY PERSON, WOULD YOU STOP TREATING ME

LIKE A HOOLIGAN, I HATE HAVING A POCKET KNIFE TO MY HEAD, IT’S NOT A FUCKEN PRISON

brian was horrified that daniel was going to **** him, and micheal wasn’t that gentle with his pocket knife either

and brian said, it’s not a prison, and then said, please don’t treat me like a little woosey, for i am a family person

and then brian jumped out of the window, saying, I AM REFORMED, please leave me the **** alone, and

then brian took off through the paddock, back to his house, and never saw daniel and micheal again,

good riddens to bad ******* thought brian, as brian sat in his house watching foxtel thinking about how stupid micheal and

daniel are, the end

Come on rain
Just enough rain
To put out the fires
Which is sending the smoke
Which is forcing us to smell it
Ommmmmm come on rain come on rain
Ommmmmm put out the fire
Don’t make too many people suffer
Let people enjoy their lives
Ommmmmmm put out the fires
That are crowding eastern Australia with a puff of smoke
Ommmmmmm don’t make people lose the memories no don’t
Ommmmmmm Christmas is coming
It will be hard to spend Christmas away from their humble abode
Ommmmmmm and the teenagers who want to go to the coast with their friends
Ommmmmmm please put out the fires
Let the eastern side of Australia breathe easy please please please
Put out the fires please
Ommmmmmm bring on the rain
When the fires when the fires
Are burning we need some rain
Because if the fires keep burning
Keep burning more properties will really burn
But ommmmmmm when you pray for some rain you pray harder
To make it heavy and last long enough to get rid of the fire and the smoke that goes with it
Ommmmmmm rain rain come today
Put out the fires which are really going astray rain rain please send them heaps so it would put out the fires oh yeah

So do what you do do well boys
Do what you do do well
Party at the village and get real drunk party all night long
Adelaide did what they do do well boys to beat Hobart hands down
Do what you do do well boys
Do what you do do well
Party with a nice can of beer
Which is full of yeast
Get down and sing a great song boys do what you do do well
I really want to be your friend dude
Do what you do do well
I want to see you marry you before we have ***
Be a good catholic and have a lot of beer
Do what you do do well boys
Unless your a catholic priest
Who thinks of nothing better than boys
It is not good how they get away with that boys
It is annoying and is dumb
So do what you do do well boys
They only like em cause they are young
We are young we run free
But if we get caught we can’t get out
So do what you do do well boys
Party on do what you do do well
All the time

Ommmmmmmm thank you for the rain and it is helping but we need more
Ommmmmmmm we need to help keep these evil spirits from winning
Ommmmmmmm so we need to keep pushing for the rain
Ommmmmmmm even if they can’t Backburn we still need rain
Ommmmmmmm lots of it but we need rain in areas where there are fires
Ommmmmmmm but to break the drought is just as important as well
Ommmmmmmm people have been asking for rain for months now
Ommmmmmmm and we need to ask the heavens to break to ease the pressure on the fires and break the drought for the farmers
Ommmmmmmm we do need to stop fires though we need to fight those evil spirits causing it
Ommmmmmmm we need to punnish anyone who plays with fire in this difficult time
Ommmmmmmm wipe the smile of his face
Ommmmmmmm he has done the wrong thing
Ommmmmmmm we need to give him a suitable punishment
Ommmmmmmm please open up the heavens and bring rain and help put any wrongdoers behind bars or give them hefty conditions
Ommmmmmmm bring more rain
Stop crime that caused the evil spirits for making their rain
Ommmmmmmm bring rain bring rain
Ommmmmmmm the rain you sent has done some good so bring more
PLEASE

On the south coast of Australia
There are terrible fires and they are so terrible it is leaving smoke in nearby towns like Canberra and in Sydney, I hope the heavens can bring the rain they need before the fires become any worse and what I believe is that Ivan milat and amrosi and osama bin laden are working with the devil to really cause havoc and **** from beyond the grave, they aren’t worried about reforming themselves with their next earth body, they just want to make the fires really make people lose their homes and memories and possessions like teddy bears and other souvenirs and each night I am working with Buddha and god and Mohammad to not make these evil terrorists win the battle, for gods sake they are dead, they should be trying to get reformed as a child but they want to destroy the eastern coast of Australia and we must work together to stop them in their tracks
Yesterday I saw a beautiful orange moon, which was a sign that the fires were still around and amrosi and Ivan and osama were determined to really destroy Australia
I decided to recite this poem to
Warn you about Ivan and osama and amrosi are doing to this country after dead and how we are going to stop them
Ommmmmm come on bring rain
Put the fires out which is caused by these evil spirits
Ommmmmm show these evil spirits that once they are dead they can’t harm us
Ommmmmm rid the south coast and Sydney from the fires and get rid of the toxic smoke caused by the evil spirits
Ommmmmm **** spirit amrosi **** spirit osama **** spirit Ivan by sending rain to stop the fires
Ommmmmm open up the heavens and splash the parts that need it
Get rid of the evil spirits that caused these fires
And hopefully the evil spirits will go down in the evil spirit home on Mercury where they call HELL
Please save Australia east from this reign

I am sick of getting teased by my family I know the young ones are saying they aren’t teasing me but they are
You see I was really looking forward to going to my cousins 21st birthday but she just treats me like a shy hooligan and I am not a shy hooligan, I know I never looked interested in having *** but I think they are treating me like a ****** and I could still be a family person
A family person who goes to sporting events and help out at local football matches I Also am the family person who likes to be apart of the city but this ****** city called Canberra is taking everything away that I liked going to, I am not a hooligan like when I really wanted to go to the Christmas carols in the domain in Sydney they fucken treat me like I am a fucken hooligan and that drives me crazy, I hate being treated like a hooligan because I am a real family person maybe I never had *** maybe I don’t look like I love life, but I do love life and I am not a hooligan
I am mucking with the families and I prefer to stay with the families because I feel safer if I do that but I hate being treated like a hooligan by my family when all I ever wanted is to be treated with a bit of respect and
I know not to go to schools but that isn’t really that exciting anyway I prefer to go to cool events where I can really let my hair down, I always wanted to stay with the families cause I feel safe like that but I am treated like a piece of meat
By the young members of my family and I want them to understand that I was being a love life kind of man and yeah, I was being a man when I was young but just because I never had ***, I prefer to be treated like a man now as opposed to being treated like a hooligan
I was being young back in those days and my cousins Kate and Linda are a couple of young brats and they need to understand that I have been forgotten about by this ****** city of Canberra

fun at the bowling alley



heaps of strikes, left, right and centre

spares are as good as well

if you can’t manage a strike, no spares a great

every strike you get

you get a mighty big cheer

and then you sit down

and wait for your next bowl

sometimes you get a blasted 7-10 split

which is ****** well annoying

especially if you are 117 in the 0th

instead of getting 147, you get 126

and it drives you crazy

especially if you know you can bowl a heap better than that

it can be very frustrating

it is fun to bowl at any cost

and you really enjoy getting the perfect score for you

whether it’s a 200 game or a 121 game

it’s still a fantastic score

it’s normal to enjoy a nice cold drink afterwards

with heaps of munchies as well

so you have the energy, to bowl a perfect game

partying at the poetry slam, having a ball, oh yeah

partying is what we do, we get down and party, baby

move ya hips, and please don’t be CRAZY

and some people come to my door

and asked me, why i went to the poetry slam, for

i said, the reason i go to the poetry slam, mate

because i can party, regardless of age

i don’t care if i am a middle aged wannabe

i wannabe the host of a cool event

i wannabe a santa on stage

i wannabe a very good actor

at least wannabes are better than has beens

i party with the crowd, i go aussie aussie aussie, oi oi oi

i am cool and totally radical dudes

you see i hear voices in my head, some negative, some positive

some people like a shy family person that was too shy to muck with the cool families, i hated those *****

my poem went down, what do you think of this shy **** now, hey dudes

and i believe in reincarnation, a true buddhist

i am a partying at the poetry slam, come on down to the phoenix bar on march 18, and join in the PARTY

get the homebodies out of their homes, to enjoy life like myself

POETS AND SINGERS AND DANCERS AND BELL RINGERS

ARE IN MY HOUSE TONIGHT, I PARTY WITH ANGELS

AND ALL I EAT IS BAGLES, AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO DIVINE

I WENT TO THE POETRY SLAM, WITH VOICES IN MY HEAD SAYING POETRY IS FOR GEEKS

BUT I AM A GOOD PARTY POET, WHERE EVERY POEM

EXPLAINS HOW I WANNA PARTY HARDY WON’T STARDY

MOVE IT ON UP, MOVE IT ON UP

AND SHOW US HOW TO HAVE FUN

AND TONIGHT THERE WAS A POET BLASTER WHO HATED POETS

SHOOTING AT ANYONE GOING OUT FOR SMOKES

YOU SEE WE HAD TO DESIGN A WEAPON TO **** POETS

AND MINE WAS TOO EXTREME, FOR THEM

YOU SEE, I DEVELOPED CANNON ***** AND 1 BILLION AMMO HERE AND 1 BILLION AMMO THERE

AND BULLETS, AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF AND POINTED IT AT THE POET READING

AND BLASTED HIS HEAD OFF, SORT OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME TONIGHT

MY OLD MATES, SAYING, IS BRIAN INTO WRITING POEMS AND THEN THEY SAY POEMS ARE BORING

AND I SAY, NO MATE NO, YOUR BORING, SURE I AM DISABLED, BUT IT DOESN’T STOP ME FROM WRITING A GREAT POEM THOUGH

DISABLE DISABLE I MIGHT BE A BIT DISABLED, IT’S NOT MY STYLE TO NOT JOT IT DOWN, YEAH IN A POEM YA SEE

I HAD COKE TO DRINK AS WELL AS A PACKET OF CARAMELISED ONION AND SOUR CREAM CHIPS, ****** AWESOME DUDES

I AM DISABLED, TOO DISABLED, FOR THE GOING TO BED MEN OR KIDS OR LADIES

I DON’T WIN VERY MUCH, BUT THE ORGANISER REALLY LIKES MY WORK

I PARTY LIKE I GET HEADACHES FROM CHAMPAGNE, THE PURE ALCOHOL DOES WEIRD THINGS TO THE BRAIN

AND MY FAVE, THE SCHITZOPHRENIC MACARENA, IT GOES LIKE THIS

1 2 3 4 DO THE SCHITZOPHRENIC, FROM THE FIRST DIAGNOSIS TO MY CURRNT SITUATION

AND NOW, WITH MEDICATION, I CAN BE REFORMED, OH YEAH MATE YEAH, I AM SCHITZOPHRENIC

AND FLY BURGERS ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT, FLY BURGERS ARE SUCH A TASTY TREAT

JUST CATCH A BLOWIE BETWEEN TWO BUTTERED BUNS, ADD SOME LETTUCE AND TOMATO AND HAVE SO MUCH FUN

YOU SEE MY POEMS TALK, ABOUT HASPPINESS FOR A GREAT PARTY, HAPPINESS FOR GREAT ART

AND HAPPINESS FOR THE OLD SMELLY MAN WHO FARTS, WHILE HE PLAYS AND BEATS ME AT DARTS

MOVING ON UP, MOVING ON UP MOVING ON UP, MAKING AN EGG SIT RIGHT IN THE CUP

THEN WENT OVER TO PAT HIS PUP, AS HE ENJOYS MOVING ON UP

I get excited when I hear my name is mentioned for something very important

I get excited that when I dream
I want to share what my dream says with all my followers on various networks

I get excited when someone gives my positive feedback
But I can look at negative feedback as a learning step

I get excited when my story
Is being told as I do something
Very exciting like pitch the first
Pitch at baseball

I get excited when I see a great event happening in our city and other cities, it makes me want to go to it

I get excited at the prospect of being known in the community
Paid or unpaid

I get excited when I lose weight even if I am struggling I keep on going

I get excited when I go to a concert to hear the cool music
I want to get up and dance

I get excited when my sports team wins especially in 2005 swans, 2012 swans, and 2013 cavalry, and the raiders back in the early years

I get excited when someone says they will pay me if I do an artwork they want

I get excited when my art is in an exhibition I feel happy

I get excited at Christmas time in a way I would like to work out new ways for Santa to travel
I would like the world to take notice

Why would anyone throw hot water on a baby
That is terrible awful dispickablr cowardly
You see the poor parents will be sad
Vary sad and I can tell you this man
Should be locked up for a long time
Where he will get his justice there
You see that poor little mite
Is a defenceless little human being
He needs to be in Gaol
And sent away from the world as it is
Gaol is his world
He is too stupid to be a normal person
Please mate protect women and children
Don’t give in to your stupid brain
Telling you to do something stupid
You see he wants to do something bad to you
And no matter how hard it is
He will give in the devil
And do something to the little
You see he is a stupid ****
Who wants to hurt the little
Wants to hurt the young
You see he is no better than the liberal party
You see he harms the little
Liberals harms the little guys finances
Lock him up
Throw away the key
Poor hot water on him
To see how he feels
He needs to suffer
Suffering is bad
But sometimes people need to suffer
What they put people through
POOR BABY

It’s a happy place to party oh yeah
Getting drunk will be the right thing oh yeah
Everyone will love it
Playing rap and house and rock and pop
You see we say jump on poor old pop
After all the things he does for you
You see we are offering cheap medicines
Through the pharmaceutical benefit scheme
That will make people happy oh yeah
And then you run around the block
To take your weight right off
You eat the right foods
And that makes you feel good
Yes partying is the way to be
What do you prefer mate oh mate
A party from soft drink and a lolly oh yeah
Rather than a food that gives you energy
To live your life
It’s better than getting tired oh yeah
Then you get a pickling jar
Which is likely to blow it top
And spreading glass every ****** where
Everybody is helping you
Look after each other
Making sure we are
Happy
Cheerful
Totally radical dude
And that is the way you must feel

ittle baby Danny should fucken practice what he preaches




You see when little baby Danny came to town
He was determined to grow up and be an adult
But in his first job he said to the boss, I don't like they way he is looking at me
And after that he quits, the next job was group job
Where everyone teased him and made him feel bad
And in the evening he goes to his neighbours house and basically tells him to shut up
He picked little Danny up and says to him
Don't ever come here again. Cause if you do, I fucken **** ya
And then he went to vinnies, to help the people there
And that went alright untill two trouble makers came
To his house and pulled him in the car and robbed all his savings
You see if it was me, I would kick him like a kid and run on down the road
But little baby Danny has his savings stolen
Well you ain't getting me, no way, dudes
Then he went to Samaritan house and his shoes were stolen
And he yelled forever, hey dude alright
Then he started to go to the drop in is where we actually met
He was going around preaching to everyone saying get a job you ******
Get a job you ******, he was doing that because people weren't inspiring him
Except for me, and he wanted me to have a lot of good close friends
And not worry about losers like him
But I was happy to be cool with the party crowd
Especially when I went partying with him
I danced, and I was very cool, and all he did
Is go for a late night walk through the UC
Maybe he really liked me, and maybe he was too scared to say goodbye
To me, cause I am in the cool crowd and he is in the loser crowd
There's nothing about him that makes him like the cool crowd
I took him to the Australia day concert, and I stayed there
Even if I was looking up oddly, and feeling a bit weird
But I still had fun, cause I am cool, and you can still be an adult and be cool
He went home, saying he had anxiety issues, well his is, the spelling of loser
I tried to keep him safe by having him over my house
And cooking him a meal, the truth is, I am cool, but I believe in fonzies cool
Have a job, explore the country and the world, and always have a smile on my face, because I live life to the full, while little baby Danny suffers through the pressures of life.
Yes, now we aren't close anymore, and that suits me fine, yes little baby Danny
Go and get a job you shy little ******.

Ommmmmmmmm my mum is in the hospital
Ommmmmmmmm she had a fall
Ommmmmmmmm please Buddha sit by her as she has an operation
Ommmmmmmmm help her get better
Ommmmmmmmm have everything go right
Ommmmmmmmm no complications
Ommmmmmmmm Just look after her
Ommmmmmmmm ommmmmmmm
Ommmmmmmmm please help my mum

Hi dudes

Welcome to my Jupiter moon concert
Today I will sing 1 song for you

The song is precious minds think alike

Tonight we are enjoying our trek around
Sailing throughout the town
Enjoying every moment oh yeah
Having a methane smoothie
It tastes like fucken ****
And on earth tipping point is on tv
But really it drives me crazy
Because more people want the money
The mystery just goes off the wall
And I think of a former girlfriend
She thinks of me and says
That is why precious minds think alike
You see god loves you despite
All the bad things you do
All the Christians sins you create
The animal you ate
Precious minds think alike
Going to a nightclub
Dancing with the girls
Buying them a drink
And saying that you love them
Is really worth a lot
You see if a baby gets born
And no matter which family it enters
The mother and father will be blessed
It cried all the night
Keeping parents up, but still looks cute to me
But that is why precious minds think alike
You will love them despite
When you watch the news seeing mothers losing you before her
And seeing people commit violent crimes
Saying to it, don’t you do that
And cancer mate, strike you at any age
Good or bad child or adult
It takes time off your life
Which isn’t very good
But you love them despite of all that
But mate what will happen
If you only had the good
Like playing Robin Hood
In the play at your local school
Or you are the Dennis Lillee
Bowling at the cricket match
At the local oval
Or you are albanese running Australia
The way a left wing man sees fit
But what if you were Ivan milat
And everybody hates you
Knowing what you ****** done
And that is why precious minds think alike
I will love you despite
You are the person that people hate
Or one that people love
You could love to hate
And hate to love everything about
Each person you will see
Precious minds think
Precious minds think
Precious minds think alike

We are having a family party
With my brother and Jane
Me and pat
And mum and dad
Yes it was rad
Dad was thinking about computer games
To play if it got boring
Me and pat played his computer
He had fun pretending
To drive the car around the track
And whilst we were doing that
Mum came down with the vacuum cleaner
And said we are having a party tonight
Your brother is coming and so is Jane
Me and pat said fine and kept playing
well we have only 2 hours
Mum took an hour
Me and pat were really having fun
Jane arrived at the same time as my brother
They ran up the road to see the neighbours
To include them in
And stayed there for half an hour
Pat played more and dad came in
With some discipline for me and pat
And pat said, don’t listen to him Briany
Just enjoy the game
And then my brother and Jane
Came back to play in the pool
And me and pat played some pool in the shed and dad was saying help with
The preparation kids
The work isn’t just for the adults
Pat kept playing because most parents
Say let your kids be kids
And pat and Brian went back to play computer games
Mum was in there finishing cleaning
Saying kids are treated like royalty
These days, saying sarcastically let kids be kids, pat said what is wrong with that
My brother and Jane went in and joined in
On me and pat
Dad made some egg in a nest
And brought them doen for us
Pat myself my brother and Jane gutsed it down and mum and dad watched tv while we were acting like kids
Then after a while they brought pavlova down and we gutsed that down too
Dad said you are just a pack of disgusting slobs and the party went to 2.00 am then we went home buying beer as we left
Cool man

Two kidnap victims next lives meet and both have different views


You see two kids were kidnapped and murdered days after
Both were very good kids, never put a foot wrong
It was their parents who were careless
Yes, careless they ****** were
You see they gave into so many temptations
Yes, they were ****** fools
So after one kid was murdered despite the ransom was then and there
The parents got into a silly fight with fists and boots and buckets of spew
The kidnapper didn't trust them and from then on
Went and murdered their kid
Which got the father angry, and hungry for some justice
In which they got and he was sentence to the death penalty
And the family can sort of rest
They still didn't get their son back
But the kidnapper was out of their hair
The next kid got mugged coming out of a pinball arcade
And locked in a shed in the bush
Rope was put around his legs, and arms, with duct tape on his mouth
The kidnapper demanded that the kid will be killed
If the family don't give of little they have
And they did, cause they were scared
But still their kid was killed, but this family wasn't so lucky
Because this man fled to the other side of the world with a phoney name
And still he hasn't been caught, but their kid was thrown in the river
And his corpse was lifted, but he ended up ok
Cause he met this other kid who died from being kidnapped
And they formed an unlikely bond
You see both kids made a pact that they will never be
Actual family people, and they will meet at the end of school life
To tell stories of their new lives
You see both kids were too shy to give in to every little trick
If someone came up to them, they will karate kick them out of town
And because of that, no bad person wanted to take then, no
And yes, they met at the end of school and made fun of the ******* ones
And they will protect each other anyway they want
Just to keep them safe, as well as if anyone came up to one
The other will karate chop their arm
Still the city folk didn't understand how these kids are friends
Because one kid was a real mans kid who loves to party
And the other is too shy to know whether they want to party or not
And from that day, this kid got teased, and it was in the way the teasing was protecting him, but the city folk wasn't really that easily fooled, this bloke was a menace, they don't care that he was teased by the pope, and Jesus still forgave him, or they didn't care that he was a budding polititian who got a job as a liberal leader, and he said he can have any view without being bashed for his view, so they went with that, and they asked him his view, and he said he liked John Howard and thought Bob Hawke was a crook, and he even thought ***** Mason was a crook too, and people tried to bash him up, and straight away he said I have been kidnapped away from my cool friend, and started to go schizophrenic over him and everyone just wanted to laugh at him, and his kidnapped previous life kid friend laughed at him too, because he was living in the past, thinking of why they re doing this to him, while his mate went to concerts with mates he has never known, but that is called moving on, yes he should do that too, so after 5 years of fighting, both friends were reunited, but instead of talking about their kidnappings in previous lives, they spoke about this life's future, yes they were cured from previous life dilemma, everyone gets it, but these friends no more than others, yes they are cool.
The end

This here is a true story about when I went to watch the choir boys at the Charnwood inn, I caught the bus out there and went into the inn to sit at the bar, nobody wanted to talk to me because I looked really weird in my blue jeans and I loved the choirboys music, the first song was struggletown, then run to paradise and then I came up to dancefloor and sang boys will be boys ever so cool, I sat back down and this kidnapper was staring at me and I looked at him and he said to me ‘what are you looking at’ I was going to say what my dad taught me but then I remembered what happened at Jamison oval, that day, so I bit my tongue and mind you I was starting to get this awful ******* thinking this guy wants to **** me and then he got up from his seat and stole my wallet and all the money that came with it, and later that week I had to get a new pension card, but that is another story, what was happening is, he was shaking me up so I would jitter and come out to him, you see before that I was a real rebel, I was punching people at the bar, which made other people yell at me but I went to the dance floor and danced more to the choirboys and the girls wanted me to dance with them but I was worried I will be forced to buy them a drink and a man stole my wallet and I ran away from them, and straight into this man and grabbed me by the legs, I managed to escaped but I forgot about him taking my wallet and I ran back to my place at the bar nothing there and I was scared I was going to be killed and ran outside I saw him near the taxis and it was pitch black and I ran for the exit and I don’t know, if the car was stolen or his but when I reached Charnwood shops the guy pulled over and said wanna ride mate, hop in and he drove my as far as the Latham wet lands and opened my door and took me by the hand and said I know you live and your house is on the other side of the wetlands and because it was 2 in the morning as well as being pitch black I
Fell down into a ***-hole and my foot got caught in a branch and I smelt and looked filthy and I was trying to break free from this branch and that took 1 hour and thirty minutes and at 3-30am I slowly made it back to the road where he dropped me off and started to walk toward ginninderra drive and because I was a bit of a Woosey I went along the road singing boys will be boys really loudly and then I saw a taxi and he stopped for me and i explained I was robbed at the Charnwood inn and I can’t pay him but he drove me home because I looked messy, I said do you want me to get the money off mum and dad and the driver said, no buddy just go inside and have a good sleep, but being the boy who loved to kidnapped himself I tied myself up thinking what a horrible night and I slept in my filthy jeans, because I didn’t feel like a conservo anymore, that was the night Canberra got me

I am fucken independent
I don't need you watch over me
I am fucken independent
You don't need to sit over me
I don't want you to play tootsies with me I don't need to be the adult who drinks coffee
I am fucken independent
I wish you will understand
I am fucken independent
I just do what I want to do
I am fucken independent
I don't want you to get in my way
I love life and I don't drink
And I am fucken independent
I don't need my father's ghost
Watching me
I am fucken independent
I don't really want to be told what to do
I am fucken independent
I watch the money I spend
And this day will never end
I am fucken independent
I don't need people bossing me about my money
I am fucken independent
And I make sure I look after myself because I know how to look after myself
I am independent and proud of it

The psych ward is for losers
You bet ya ****** oathe mate
Their losers
The psych ward is for losers
Only losers go there
You see I hate the psych ward
It is for people worst than me
I don’t belong in the psych ward
No I ****** don’t
I prefer to be free mate
Never locked away in there
The psych ward is for losers
Losers they are
I prefer people who try and keep out of trouble
And I know it will be easy
All I gotta do is keep out
The psych ward have problem people
Like yellers and sick people
I want them to get better
But I don’t want to be with them
The psych ward is for losers
Oh yeah mate for losers
The psych ward is for losers
Oh yeah bow bow it is

how i would live in australia




ok, first, i would get the

best low income flat closest to the beach

and i would probably prefer

to live in BRIGHTON

i would bring back albert waldron, and watch norwood play

every weekend, ya know

and maybe get involved cause adelaide need cool people like me

PLEASE! it’s a friendly place for me

i would any job within my boundaries

even if i just be a volunteer

i would prefer to get references

from people who know me, here

but there are heaps of stuff i wanna learn, but i am a person and not a robot

i want to be apart of south australian writing, like i want them to take my writing seriously

and look at my writing, evil or not

so i can help save this mother earth

and never be too shy to muck with the  families, ya know

my brain ain’t no good

cause i obsess too much about being liked

so, what i have to do, is **** the little shy boy in me

cause, i want to get excepted, and be understood

and say to yourself, if ya wanna be fucken famous, dude

it’s better to get rid of the little shy boy in you

you see i hear voices saying get ****** brainy when i hear a heavy metal track

and strange voices that ain’t really there

but they seem to be cool voices

but the thing is, it’s keeping me from what i like to do, like living in adelaide

forcing me to live here, not that there is anything wrong with canberra

i just am having a winge, ya know

it’s fucken driving me CRAZY

it is driving me flaming mad

as i am taking charity

and the woden psych ward

but being here, shows poor people are f..n doing it tough

and when poor people do act cool

they DO, deserve it

sometimes the hospital staff don’t look like they wanna help us

but, they are trying

the best thing to do is, stick it out, and most of all get well

and if getting well is getting you what you want

i can make adelaide work for me

and that is pretty ****** radical dude

Quarantining is a joke
We can’t go out and have fun
No club no sport no movies no shows
Really is fucken annoying
But if we think about
The fun we can have at home
Watching YouTube and Netflix
And we will bring our time
Letting trapper win oh yeah
Quarantining is a joke
No sitting on the beach
Can’t sit in the park
Talking to your mate
What a fucken joke it is
But if we follow all the rules
We won’t catch covid 19
And hopefully we won’t die
It is a jolly big sacrifice
But it is important
Just follow the rules the politicians say
And stay at home oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah stay at home
Quarantining is a joke
No watching bands at the clubs
No poetry slams or bingo sessions
Really drives me insane
But if we follow the rules
You can see all that on YouTube and on zoom
And have a party at home
Enjoying life oh yeah come on party dude
Yes rock and roll
No kareoke except for singing along on YouTube
Just listen to the authorities and you can still have fun even if fun looks like fading just have fun at home

The crowning of queen Avril


Just the other say Avril Fuller died who gAve Cronus a new face into helping the next generator learn about Brian Allan. And as soon as Avril got up to Saturn last night there was a party, Indian theme done in her honour. There is plenty of fun for everyone, like Bollywood dancers and great Indian food, and methane rtippex all over it, this was a fun way to welcome Avril fuller to outer space and here is slim dusty, with his song for Avril, you've done us proud miss fuller
You see young dame Avril fuller
You have done us proud
You lightened up the world with
Your beauty when people feel sad
Whether we are naughty or when we are bad. Oh Avril fuller old lady yeah
You have done us really proud
You see mrs fuller you are my dame
I really love you oh yeah pretty woman your family will miss you yeah. Earth will miss you so very much, but when you are reborn we will see more life, that would be great.  You see pretty Avril fuller you done is real proud and now my second song, I would lio have a green tea Roth Avril I would love to have a green tea with Av, you see she likes to keep her body healthy but still it didn't stop her from dying which says one thing to me. Don't say you will live forever. Cause that is not on, I would love to have a coke with her family, yeah the Fullers are do great, they make sure everyone is looked after, and then it's time for themselves you see we drink in the time of war. Mate as well In the time of peace, you see I would love to have a coke with their family cause to me they're good mates
And now we bring out our mistress of ceremonies to be crowned queen of Saturn. And Avril said, thanks everyone this has been great, I really really liked being welcomed up here. And I guarantee there will loads of stuff to do up here for everyone to party, ya know Bollywood style
It will be so much fun and I give Tony and Judith a big kiss, then Avril decided to grab Tony by the hand and did a little Bollywood, that was a great dance session for them and then Judith joined in and boy did they have a wow of a time, it was ****** cool, everyone was really happy and Tony and Judith were happy that Avril had found her home on saturn, ready to enter her next life in 9 months, it just sounds so cool mate


Sent from my iPhone

The raiders show against the 2018 premiers at Suncorp in Brisbane

Hi and welcome to the raiders show
Which is coming to you live from Suncorp stadium where all games this week is, where the raiders are playing the great roosters line up, it will be a great game that the raiders must win
If they want to get their names on the board they only lost 2 games against Melbourne storm and manly Warringah, so far this year and here is hoping we can beat the roosters this afternoon, here is our first jingle from George
Hey Canberra
You must win
Just ignore the
Games that we lost yeah
Don’t fade away like you
Used to do yeah
Just don’t fade away
Hey Canberra
It would be great
If we get a win from
Last years champions
Yes, it will make me very a very happy man yeah mate yeah dude
Canberra to win
Hey Canberra
The mighty green machine
Are they good enough to beat the roosters yeah
Are they good enough to really show
Them who is boss in this game yeah
Go raiders we must win
Hey Canberra
Be like supermen
And fly all over Suncorp
This afternoon you have to win mate
Go raiders knock the roosters out
Thank you George and now here is Harry with a jingle
Canberra Canberra Canberra
We are going to win
Everything is going down well with us please god makes us win
Canberra Canberra Canberra
Win in Brisbane
It is going to be cool mate
The best performance of our lives
Oi oi oi raiders must win
At Suncorp stadium
Against a side not from Brisbane
Really pretty hard
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go raiders go please win
Pretty please with sugar on top
And now over to the match against the roosters go raiders
Yes, it has been a dismal match where the roosters have a 24-6 lead over the raiders today and it is bad
And we have a roosters supporter named pill popper with his jingle

Yes we won last years premiership
What a game it was
And we are playing well this year
Include this week at Suncorp
The raiders are pushed right down
Yes go the roosters oh yeah
Yes afterwards we will hit the roosters bar
And have a nice cold beer
24 points to 6 we have them right
Where we want them
Come on roosters knock the raiders
Back to Canberra saying we are
Kings of suncorp dudes
Thank you pill popper and now here is ken with a reply
Carn the raiders
Go the raiders
Get us out of this mess
Yes we need to win we still have hope
For our sweet caress
We need to Ricky Stuart
To say the right things today
To put some fire in our bellies
To make us force the roosters to fade
But the raiders have to play well
And I can’t see it happening
I just want my team to win
Go raiders go
Thank you ken and here is terry with his jingle
And as we draw the final curtain
On the first half I hope we catch up
It will be a hard match mate
Because the roosters are playing well
I hope pill popper eats his words mate
But the roosters are playing well
We need to see our players in the spotlight
Ready for a pretty good fight
I sure hope we play well in the second half
Carn the raiders oh yeah
Thank you terry and what do you have to say pill popper
Pill popper’. Well mate I think the roosters will win and the raiders will fade in your face Canberra
Ok thank you pull popper and now here is the second half of the raiders at Suncorp stadium
And welcome back to the raiders show and what a terrible performance despite coming back a bit in the second half, the roosters won 30 points to 24 and here is pill popper
We gave you the chances
But you still couldn’t win
What is wrong with the Raiders
The roosters were too good
We won we won
Yes we fought yes we conquered
To win by just 6
Yes we put the pressure
On the raiders oh yes we did
Roosters roosters go the mighty roosters for back to back
Thank you pill popper and now here is Simon
We are the bad and mean green machine but today we conked out too soon
Yes we tried to come back
But still the roosters were too good
What is wrong with the raiders
One can only tell
You see it was an awful match
Yes I don’t know what went wrong
The bad and mean green machine
Was broken hopefully fixed next week

Ok that was good and that is it that is all there ain’t no more here is the Final curtain song saying it is beer o’clock

And now let’s draw the final curtain
The roosters were too ****** good
Despite the raiders coming back on them
The raiders failed by just 6
So now we get into beer o’clock mate
To think about next week yeah
Well done to the roosters
Raiders must bounce back

Hi everyone and welcome to the raiders show where today the mighty raiders play South Sydney Rabbitohs
Where I think it will be a great match
Here is Tom with his jingle

Go raiders go raiders go raiders go
We push em hard and never say no
The raiders will be the best team there
Yeah they will be happy oh yeah
The raiders will come up and win
If they don’t I will arrest you yeah
Partying down the club is cool
Breaking rules is not what they do
Come on Ricky Stuart Coach them good
Yes the raiders are the best around
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go

Thank you Tom and now here is
Peter

La la la la la we are the green machine
We’re bad and mean
We fight them till you see green
We are big and strong
Fast and mean
We are the mighty green machine
We will win and win it well
You see we will tell the cops
That we are best
Go the mighty raiders team
Fight them please the green machine
La la la la la the green machine
We will fight and win oh yeah
We are fast and mean
And big and strong
Time to lose isn’t what we do
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go
We will win even if it is in the snow
The sleet is great very cold
Go the raiders go the raiders
Go go go go go go
Thank you Peter and now over to the match go raiders

Welcome back to the raiders show and the raiders have a very narrow lead of about 6 points to 4 and here is Robert with his jingle

Yes the raiders are up at the half
Only by the narrowist of margins
But who cares oh yeah
6 - 4 is the score
And the raiders are the best
Better than Souths
Putting the bunnies to the test
Come on raiders we must win
Go raiders come on mate
We must win we must win
Put the bunnies down on the ground
Where they belong
They belong down the bottom
But I won’t say
I want to see the raiders win
Oh yeah

Thank you Robert and now here is
Pete with his jingle

We have to fight em up
Push them down
Fight them till you hit the top
And push them to the ground
And then we say to each other mate yeah
Come on the raiders
You see we are individuals
Coming out to win
And if we have a strong team
We must knock their game out of whack
Yes we will win this match oh yeah
Come on the raiders
Go the mighty raiders
You are the best

Thank you Pete and now here is the game go raiders

Welcome back to the raiders show and what a loss we suffered tonight on election night as well here is olly with his jingle

Too bad too bad we lost and we don’t conquer too bad
We weren’t very good tonight
We made a few mistakes
We played bad played bad oh yeah we did
I don’t know what went on
We just weren’t very good
We are going to play the cowboys
Next week and I hope we win but
The amount of times we dropped the bell tonight might suggest other wise
Come on raiders I was saying in the stands but they weren’t listening
No they weren’t

Thank you olly and now here is Kenny

We lost we lost we lost
What happened to us
I would never think
That this years performance
Could take us to a bad loss
I came here today thinking we had a hope but I was far from right
We never ever really put up a big big fight
What is wrong with us oh no
Come on raiders you must bounce back from this
But are you good enough
Well one can only tell
What was wrong with us tonight
Well done bunnies

Thank you Kenny and what a match it was and now let’s draw the final curtain

And now we draw the final curtain
Yes the raiders have lost a shame
You see it is back to us
Making mistakes all the time
What was wrong with us this evening
It was a bad election night
Because we can’t beat
The sides up the top
Which could prove to be a problem
Don’t worry raiders just work on next week
See you next week
Dudes

The raiders show v knights 27 June 2025


Hello everybody welcome to the raiders show
Hopefully the raiders win today to get a draw number 1, the first poem by Tommy
Hooray hooray the raiders will win
It always starts at 0-0 but we will win oh yeah
It will a bumper of a match
Go the raiders oh yeah

The next poem by Simon
C’mon knights we must win
Knock Canberra to smithereens
But they are in top 2
Clobber them down oh yeah

Now is the the start of the match
Hopefully raiders will win
Raiders scored the first try simi sasagi to make it 4-0
Knights didn’t know what hit them
Especially when the raiders score again
Kaso weekes was the scorer and fogety got the 2 to make it 10-0 go the mighty raiders
Looks like Canberra will win
But it was too early mate
Then Ethan strange scored another from raiders
With fogerty got the 2 to make it 16-0
Half time raiders 16 knights 0
Here is the half time entertainment
We’re on our way
To get to the top oh yeah
Wayup wayup
We’re on our way
To get to the top oh yeah
We’re on our way
We are the best team
The Newcastle knights are fumbling
Thinking yeah raiders are not the faders anymore

Get ready to drink our half time beer
I would love to drink with you
And watch and hope the knights don’t
Catch up in the second half
Get ready to party yeah
And celebrate with a XXXX yeah
Get ready raiders keep it up

James schillar scored the knights first try of the second half to make it raiders 16-4 ponga converted it to make the score 16-6 and
In just his second match Jed Stuart scored his second try in two matches to extend the raiders lead 20-6 and fogerty converted to make it 22-6
Both teams showed strong defence especially the raiders and McEwan scored another try to make it 22-10 and then Gagai who replaced ponga who got a sore foot and he made the score 22-12 and raiders still showed great defence until  James Schiller scored another try with 5 to go which made the score 22-16 to raiders and gagai converted it to make the score 22-18 and the raiders good defence held till the end
Raiders won
Raiders 22
Knights 18
Top win
And here is the full time entertainment

Go the raiders we are on the top
Yes it is so cool
The knights don’t know what hit them
Knowing Canberra’s defence was so strong
Off to the pub mate great that Ricky’s son scored 2 in 2
Go the mighty raiders

Now we draw the final curtain
Raiders are so great
22-18 was the score ya see
Oh yeah bow bow
Carn the raiders
One thing is ya see
We are definitely not oh yeah the faders anymore
But with the fact we are on top now
Bulldogs will be spitting blood
And knowing this makes us feel great
Raiders for victory

See ya round dudes

the raiders show, the half time show, v dragons



johnny’   welcome back, and what a start we have for the raiders, you see we got to a lead

of 18 points to nil, and at half time the raiders lead 18 points to 8 with  hodgson and soliola and

blake austin, and croker scored 3 2 pointers while merrin scores a try for the dragons and widdop

scores 2 2 pointers, and the raiders have made a few mistakes, but they have a good lead

and here is sue

sue’  ok welcome, and here is tim with his jingle

tim’   oh yeah we are the bad and mean green machine

fearsome men looking keen,

don’t try and stop these men in green

cause we hit ya hit ya hit ya, and you’ll see green

run raiders run we have a 10 point lead yeah

run raiders run, will we win will we win yeah

we run up the field, and score 3 tries, oh what a team we have

run raiders run, oh yeah raiders, we are the best

sue’  thanks tim and now here is olly

olly’    in canberra town we were born come on raiders, oh we can win

in canberra town, in the north, bound for fun at GIO

come on ya mighty raiders, come on, we must win

go the mighty raiders team, beat the hapless dragons

sue’  ok thanks olly and now back to johnny

johnny’   thanks sue and now, we hope the raiders don’t fade here, no, go the raiders we are bound to have a victory

see you at full time COME ON RAIDERS

Go the raiders go the raiders
We won our second away match
Yes it was a great effort
Despite some silly mistakes
Yes those raiders have been good
This year and they thoroughly deserve the praise
And each time they scored
The green flags were raised
Raiders rah rah rah raiders rah rah rah as we draw each final curtain
And seeing the raiders with the win
Come on raiders the mighty mighty raiders
Yes we won again
As we approach the next round
How well will we do
For our opponent next week
Is the parramatta eels at our home ground
Raiders rah rah rah
Raiders rah rah rah
We are the bad and mean green machine
Fearsome men from the ACT
Don’t try to stop these men in green
Or we will hit ya hit ya hit ya
Till you see green
Oh come on you mighty raiders
Come on you team
We won 3 out of four matches
Yes we’re the green machine
We are the Canberra raiders oh yeah
Are we are fighting fit
Every day as we provide our supporters with a great great win
And even if we crumble
At the stroke of full time
We will win yeseree
Raiders of the nations capital
A great movie about league
Watching the raiders with a great start
Oh yeah we are fighting fit
Go the mighty raiders

am at the rainbow and to my surprise the cooking group has been cancelled
Oh what a shame dear god desr fella
You see it's enough to drive you completely bonkers because I am having thoughts of when I cooked at the rainbow and it gone all crazy
You see I am a bit crazy thinking it is a job and all but I want to rid all the horrible teasing from my brain and the cooking group would have been a good thing to do today because it would have given me the thoughts that I had in 2003 when I was well and another's thing too
I would have felt better in the process
It is not my cup of tea to be like these people here because they are crazy abd stupid and I want a chance to be the best of my ability
I know this looks weird but I just enjoy sitting in the nice peaceful room
You see I wavt to open or work at a homeless shelter where I can help the homeless get a hot meal and I want to start up pool competitions between the poor people of this community
You see they are suffering every day
And some of the workers don't give a rats *** about what happens to the poor all because they are very lazy
But I think they need to be given a break because they have problems
Abd as long as are looked after they will
Be alright

Rainbow village episode 13




It was getting late on January 24" and Lyle brought his bin to the road outside Rainbow village, and as he got to the road. He saw his old drinking friend, Walt Sullivan, and they had a lot to talk about, like that Austealia day in the sports bar, back in 1985, where it was decorated in Aussie flags, and boxing kangaroo flags as wel, as green and gold streamers and a poster of Captain Cook, and they remembered every joke that was told that night,
Like what did the gum tree say to it's owner when his wife went shopping
And the answer is, how much can a koala bare, the joes hardly made sense, thinking back, but we had ***** down us, and then Walt told a joke, how Many Ausies does it take to ***** in a light bulb, and the answer is, none, they are too busy drinking beer and saying
G' day, and then Lyle told a joke, which was what was the first thing captain cook saw as he arrived in Sydney, and the answer is, the first thing he saw is a drunken man lying on the ground because right wing governments don't give a rats *** and after that Lyle started to tale about life in the village, and he said he has never been happier, he doesn't have to worry about being lonely because he knows everyone here, and he can come and go as he pleases, And that is better than a nursing home, heaps better, and then Walt gave Lyle a VB to celebrate Australia day with and then they started talking about the formalities of the Australia day celebrations down the pub, and one formality was, the new Australian citizens, who are celebrating being Australians, as well as the annual beer gulping contest, and Lyle won two years of that, and then Walt told them that he liked the annual cricket match, which was played at the sports club oval, and Walt is still bragging about hitting heaps of sixes, and heaps of fours too.
It was a great experience to play cricket, cause it is the Australian game, and we had an esky full of beer, soft drinks and salad as well as a BBQ, and the Australia day was cool.
And Walt told Lyle that he liked playing up back in the old days, by meeting his friends down the drains and drink to people's health down there. And Lyle who didn't approve of that said  goodbye, and went inside, and Walt went back to his house, and Lyle went into his villa and watched the box, and yes he saw the tennis. Which made him automatically think of the Australia day annual Tennis contest, which went for 10 years, and Lyle wa thinking about it smiling because he won all of the 10 years, and the prize was a trophy as well as a $1,000 cheque, Lyle was very happy, but looking back at it, the tennis event is sadly missed by the community, but you can't take the success away from Lyle, yes, it was cool
Thought Lyle, the end

Rainbow village episode 11




It was the day before Australia day eve, and Dean, Lyle. Yvonne. Simon and Georgina were sitting at Simon's and Yvonne's villa watching the womens singles on the television, and when the Auatralians won, it got Georgina talking about a special crush she had on Pat Cash, and how she tried to make that happen, the others weren't really interested in her story, but knowing Georgina, she told it anyway, well it started at her work at Fantasy Lane in Fyshwick in Canberra, and who would walk through the door, but Pat Cash, and Georgina, was trying not to think it, she tried to figure out why a hunk like Pat Cash would come into a *** boutique, and then it her Georgina square in the head, yes Pat Cash wanted ***, and even if Georgina's job was just answer phones and make bookings, this time, she wanted a hunk like Pat Cash all to herself, and told Pat Cash that the prostitutes that come here are a little ugly, and you need a real babe, so meet me after my shift and I guarantee I will show you a good time for free, Pat Cash said that he will prefer to pay for one of the ladies, but Georgina told him, a hunk like you shouldn't be paying for ***, you want the real thing, Patrick and as planned Georgina showed Pat Cash how to have a good time, there was dinner, dancing, and even a late night coffee at a all night coffee shop and then after that Pat Cash asked me back to his house, and, man I was honoured, not just to go to his house, but also have *** in a famous Aussie tennis players bed, this is the most exciting night in my life.
Lyle stopped the story and told Dean that who does be think will win the men's singles final and Dean said, who cares for now, I like Georgina's story, let's think about tennis later, and Georgina said, yes it was fun having ******* with someone famous, and I tell you that if I do anything g as exciting like this again, wake me up, but I will also tell you Patrick was a great man to *** it up with, and we really rocked the bed, up and down, round and round, all over the place, and then Pat Cash suddenly got up and told me that I better leave now, mainly because his family will be home soon and they won't understand I am filling in a fantasy of yours, and as much as that hurt me, I still left, because I had ****** good *** anyway, and I went home to my family, with a big smile on my face, my family were unaware of why I was so happy, but they didn't suspect anything, so my saucy relationship with Pat Cash was safely under wraps for a while, and yes every night sleeping in the bed with my husband was disturbing because a man like Pat Cash broke the rules for me. The next time I went to Fantasy Lane, the girls had told my secret to the boss and I was sacked on the spot, and I robbed Mary, of everything she owned, and I nearly went to gaol, but I didn't, and despite of losing my job at Fantasy Lane, it didn't worry me, cause I had *** with Pat Cash, but there was one problem, and that was that was the last time I saw him socially, but I always watched him play tournaments, and I blew kisses to him, his wife wasn't happy, but who cares because, I love Pat Cash and yes, dudes, I hope that Australia wins the doubles final, because my son will be there and he is a bit ***** over Casey, and yes, he night take a leaf from my book, cool go for it, son
The end

Rainbow village Episode 17



Fred, Lyle and Georgina decided to walk down to the shopping mall about 15 minutes away from Rainbow village, and as they were walking some of the young hooligans were skidding down, burning rubber, and some bikies did wheelies, which made Lyle jitter and he ended up saying, that you guys ate a pack of losers and should be f..n locked up, and one hooligan threw a rock right in his face, and Lyle collapsed straight away, while Fred stayed with Lyle, while Georgina went for some help.
Fred told Lyle not to panic, even if he was in pain, and then 2 hours later. The culprit came over, and told Fred, when I was a little boy, I was taken from my home, by a weird man who fits his description and his age, and I know his name, because I don't forget much from those days, and when he said that Gia name was Lyle Hoffman, Fred couldn't understand,
And Lyle told him, that he didn't **** him, so why do you want revenge, and he said because no one ever gets his hand on Peter Buchanan, and now, Lyle, you are going to be ******* in the public toilets, but I think I want you not to be as lucky as I was, so Fred, you go back to your retirement village, (which he said moving his fingers up over his head) and let me deal with Lyle Hoffman and Fred pulled out his mobile to call the police and Peter knocked it out of Fred's hand and then he said, that he doesn't trust him, so Peter took Lyle and Fred hostage and brought them to a rundown factory, and when he got them into the machinery room, Peter set the bomb to go off, in 3 hours, Peter wasn't wanting to **** Fred, so he made his rope escapable, but Lyle's ropes were on tight, and when Fred got free, he went over to rescue Lyle, but his rope was too tight, and he couldn't get the rope loose.
Lyle told Fred, his version of events, which didn't sound good for Lyle's defence, because it sounds like Lyle made his bed, and wanted Peter to lie in it,
What Lyle said, he got sick of Peter and his mates teasing him and to get revenge Lyle grabbed Peter and pulled him into the car and drove him off to the country, and then when he got him there, Lyle decided to get his gun and stick it at Peter, to make him too scared to say anything, but Lyle said in his defence, he let Peter go before the police arrived and shot through, and then he told Peter, tell a soul and your dead, and Peter was scared shitless, and apparently Peter hasn't worked since, but Lyle called him a gutless trouble maker.
Peter came back in and Fred told him, I see why you are doing this, Lyle told us the whole story, but you are making you just as bad as him, and Peter said, he is the reason why I am walking around psych wards all my life, and if you don't let me **** Lyle, I will go to Rainbow village and tell the manager that Lyle should be locked up, and not given the lap of f..n luxury, and Fred told Peter, please spare him, I have the name of a good lawyer, and he can help you get justice against Lyle, and Lyle went. 'hey'.  And then began to be super scared of Peter, because what happened was a long time ago, but Peter didn't give a hoot, but Fred's advice made sense, though, if he loses Fred will cop it, big time.
So Peter let Fred and Lyle go, but that wasn't it, no Peter rang up this bloke and, yes, Lyle went to court, and in court Lyle was getting fried, a he can't seem to defend himself properly, Lyle said one word and the prosecutor kept throwing stuff at him, and despite Lyle having Rainbow village giving him character references and all thar, Lyle's defence wasn't looking too good, and after 1 week of 3 sessions, the magistrate brought the matter in front of a higher court, which could mean jail time for Lyle, and the date was exactly 3 months time, Lyle was scared as he said to Fred. It's all your fault, he was a blushing trouble-maker and Fred said, yes but it still ain't right.
The end

Home improvement randy leaves in a black kidnappers van



You see it was a usual Christmas at the Taylor's and randy who was 15
Was busy at the homeless shelter, each day, but one poor man, who was
Getting ****** around by right wing governments decided to talk to randy
And yes randy, being the helpful soul that he is, spoke and joked around
With him, and this man said, how about we meet down the mall, ya see
I really am doing it tough, buddy, and it would mean a lot for me, if you would
Meet me there, and randy, said well, yeah alright see ya there, and went home
And when he told tim and Jill, well they were worried, but they were looking
Out for him and brad said, dude, it's suspicious, I will come with you and
Randy said, no buddy, I think this means nothing and randy went to bed
Already to meet his new found homeless friend and the next day, his homeless
Friend hot-wired this black van and then randy left his house to meet him
And on the way to the mall, the man jumped out of the van and grabbed randy
And randy found himself bound and gagged in the back, and randy struggled
And yelled our, HELP let me out, let me out, but this man drove randy to a very
Dark looking cave, and inside this dave were Indian drawings and randy who is
Unaware of the dangers he is in, was fascinated by these drawings and then
The man drew a picture explaining the things randy is going to suffer from
In here but despite taking a while to catch on, he finally figured out that this
Man, was bad news, and randy now realises his life is in danger and this
Made him very scared, the man looked at randy and said, buddy, you are dead
In 3 days and this made randy so scared, he struggled to get out, and the man
Rang up tim and Jill saying he has their son, blah blah blah, and there is nothing
They can do, to save him, from this trauma, randy was scared, but he was smart
Enough to understand that this could be the end of his life, and he struggled
And struggled to get through but these ropes were on so tight it gave him rope burns
And tim and Jill said, I will withdraw $20-000-000 out and you can give randy back
And then tim though, I knew that this man was up to no good, but the man won't
Budge, he didn't want the money, well he did, but having randy was more important
That any crazy dollar bill, ever could help, randy was still struggling and it made him
Feel like he was suffocating and randy screamed, HELP, I need to get out of here,
I am captured by this homeless kidnapper, well that is whet he was saying, but
The gag was tightly round his mouth, so all that he was letting out was wool lobby
Weeeeeretrtyes, well carp like this, and the kidnapper was really having a field day
With tim and Jill, saying your son is with me, you will never ever get your son back
Cause he tried to be a hotshot cool kid, and randy is not like us, his elder brother brad
Is like us, and young brother mark is a ******, but little teaser randy, is mine, I have
This kid where I want him, right now, he will never escape, no way hoisei, and
Tim and Jill got really worried, as they tried to alert the police but the police had no leads
But they told tim and Jill that they will do their best and tim and Jill gave them a
Photo of randy, and told them that there was this homeless man, who randy was
Befriending and they are pretty sure it is him who has kidnapped randy, and then after
Tim and Jill explained what happened, well, yeah, but if randy wanted it, it ain't kidnapping
But there are more fierce charges that we can put him on if he has your son and if he has harmed your son in an way, like grevious ****** harm, it's still wrong what he is doing
And tim and Jill left and the police did their best, and then a call came in saying a man
Came back to the carpark to find his tools all broken and over the road, and the police went
Down to check it out, and the police said, well we have to alert the Taylor's cause there could be a connection between this van robbery and randy's kidnapping and as soon
As tim heard, he demanded that the police do a city search, which they did, stopping at
Every gas station and ice cream shop, asking if they saw the car and whether they saw
Randy or this man, now nobody can help, cause this kidnapping is so closed off from
The rest of the world and randy was struggling with the kidnapper singing the song,
We're not going to take it, no we are never going to take it, no we ain't going to take it, anymore, and I am not taking any **** from you dude, and as randy heard that, he was
Really scared, and screamed right into the heavens, **** and the kidnapper put the duct tape back on his mouth saying shut up, *******, you are not like us, no more, you
Are like an old biddy's kid, buddy, and the police were still searching and searching
And just as they were about to give up, they saw a van matching the missing cars description near the old fashioned caves, and went down to take peak and this man
Looking suspicious, who was the kidnapper, was trying to flee the scene, but the police
Were too quick and the other policeman searched the cave and noticed randy hanging
By his neck in the cave, but the police got their in the nick of time and they saved randy
And randy was returned to the Taylor's and randy had to have counselling and the kidnapper
Was sentenced to life imprisonment but if he was good after 40 years, he will be could get free, but the homeless man said thank you, I only did it to get a home and all the rich ******
Have to pay for my rent in their taxes, *******, rich conservative *****, and randy
Was having mojo issues from the ordeal, brad and mark helped him get through this


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