YOU CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

WE CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

TO KEEP OUR MOJO IN TACT

WHETHER WE ARE WATCHING STAR WARS

OR ET, OR THE MOVIE NEW YEARS EVE

A BOX OF POPCORN KEEPS YA SANE

YA CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

YA CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

NO, WE ****** WELL CAN’T

WHETHER WE ARE WATCHING BALLET, BUDDY

OR A GREAT CONCERT FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD

AND WHETHER WE MOVE UP AND DOWN YEAH

NO WE ****** WELL CAN’T

YOU CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

WE CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

AND A COKE, AND A COKE AND A COKE

TO WASH BACK IN THE FUN OF THE IMAGINATION

OF A GREAT MOVIE WITH POPCORN AND COKE

New faces means more money for me nerds  first show since operation



Nerd'.   Hi everyone and welcome to safely home new faces means more money for me and tonight we have grey ham kennel tea with his little song, take it away, dudes
Grey ham kennel tea'

I was a little tea ***, but I grew up
Into a big coffee machine
Cause I want to give people stronger stuff
So they can work hard all day
Yes, they won't have time to play
Show your legs, ya **** girl
How I wonder what life would be if you showed them nw

Up above my eyes so high
And to me your be like a pretty diamond in the sky
So, now **** girl, you showed your legs
And now I can go back home to eat scrambled eggs
Fruit salad, yummy yummy, on your **** is even better
Fruit salad, I want to try some that
Is sitting on your **** right now
Go Santa Barbara go, give me something entertaining to watch
Oh yeah, go Santa Barbara go
Yes, go right now, and we have to move
Go Santa Barbara go, right now
And we'll cumm, all over the place
Yes, my girl needs to be romantic, I will bang the jukebox
And hey presto, somewhere over the rainbow starts to play
Yes, it's sooooo cool, like me, the Fonz
Nerd'.   Thanks Lionel and now we have made a decision on who wins, and I have been handed a letter, yes, I'm sorry, we have no extra money
Nerd'.  Thank you Grey ham kennel tea, we'll see if I want to give money to you,
And now here is Lionel Fonzie with his song, I wanna be cool
Here it goes
Lionel fonzie'
I will ride my motorcycle all over the town

And I hit the juke box and instantly music
Starts playing straight out of it without money
Cause I am cool man, and I ain't gonna change
I am cool man, yes, I will be cool forever
I go out and I always get my girl
And she really wants me, no she isn't stuck with me
Cause I am the Fonz, girl's think I am really really cool
And the young ones today will say I'm sick
And maybe I am, to them I say
Cause sick is another way to say cool, man

from my health insurance from my
Opp, so sorry, I was relying on paying you with that money, and I have to say, tough luck,
So no one wins
Lionel Fonzie said'. You get paid to do this show don't ya, ya loaded aren't ya
Nerd'.    Yeah well sorry, that is my money, and you can't expect me to pay my
Money now can't you, cause doing new faces means more money for me and you get what's left at the end of the day, sorry, that means
nothing today
Lionel and gray ham'.   ***** you nerdy
Nerd'. I have to go, see ya next time

MY MEDICATION WORKS, BUT WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT SIDE EFFECTS




WELL, IF YA SIDE EFFECT IS MOVING HANDS, DO SOMETHING CREATIVE LIKE I DO

TO TAKE THE ADNOMALITIES OUT OF YOUR HANDS

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS ARE MAKING YA HUNGRY

GET HYPED UP AND WRITE STORY BY STORY ABOUT YOUR LIFE

INSTEAD OF DWELL IN EACH ASPECT OF YOUR PAST

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS MAKE YOU ANGRY AT YOUR VOICES

TRY AND WORK THROUGH IT, LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO ******* SOME POOR SOUL

WHETHER YOU MEAN IT OR NOT

IF YOUR SIDE EFFECTS MEAN YOU ARE JUMPY

JUST WRITE STORIES AND DO ART, TO REL;AX YOURSELF

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS HAS VOICES SAYING YOUR JUST AS MESSED UP AS THE NEXT PERSON

JUST, TRY AND DROWN YOUR VOICES IN A GOOD BOOK, A DVD BLURAY

GAMES CONSOL, TAPESTRY YOUTUBE SPORT ON TELEVISION OR ANY OTHER TV SHOW

AND IF YA MEDICATION HAS VOICES SAYING, DON’T TAKE YOUR MEDICATION THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YA

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE, TRY TO WRITE PROBLEMS AND DELLUSIONS OUT OF YA

IF YOU ARE HEARING PEOPLE RIOT OUTSIDE, THE BEST THING IS THINK THEY ARE PARTYING

DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK, BUT REALLY THINKING POSITIVELY ABOUT PEOPLE OUTSIDE IS MUCH BETTER

THAT THINKING THEY ARE RIOTING OUTSIDE, MY MATE THINKS THEY ARE RIOTING,

HE SAYS HE IS TRUTHFUL, BUT HE’S NEGATIVE, BUT THINK PEOPLE ARE PARTYING

IF YOU HAVE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE DEAD TEASING YOU, WRITE THE POSITIVE STORY

OUT OF YOU, TO SAY, THAT SLIM DUSTY IS ALIVE AND WELL, AND LIVING IN MY HEAD

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH SLIM HERE

YEAH I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH SLIM

BUT WITH MY MEDICATION AND MY PAST

IT COULD BRING DELLUSIONAL VOICES AGAIN

AND SEND ME TO THE PSYCH WARD, WHERE THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE

BUT THEY ARE ONLY CRAZY CAUSE THE SYSTEM DOESN’T LIKE THEM

FROM A ****** FAR

SO I CHUCK A METHANE SMOOTHIE ON DAD YEAH

AND SAY HAVE A GREAT NEXT LIFE

SLIM DUSTY IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN MY HEAD

CAUSE I SING ABOUT PARTYING, AND I PARTY IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER

LIKE A COOL DUDE DOES

Buddy Holly sings in Neptune galactic pub



Every day in the after life, I
Come here to sing this great song and think
About my life on earth
You see, old mate, I was so very famous
And my death was recorded on the film La Bamba
Yes, it was a real oom life for me, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah
You see when I see my next life doing his wander
At the show toward the roller coaster
I always thought, I missed all my friends on planet earth
I lived my life down there to the fullest
And everyone went to see me play at the theatre
And I noticed that they had Buddy Holly shows still on
So old people like me, can keep me living on yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah
As soon as I died with Valens and the big bopper
I thought I will never be a cool show stopper
But everyone who loved me on earth,can
Still see me performing on Saturn , Jupiter , neptune
And I also tried Mercury too, ooh ooh ooh ooh
The back up bands are better here
I can enjoy singing and drink my beer
Because I ain't the man I was on earth
You see, mate I was so immortal dude, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
So now if you want to **** yourself, because you don't want to suffer
Think about the time you had on earth, and see if it is really worth it
To end your life on earth really, mate, do you wsnt that
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
So let's party on Mercury tonight, get down

Slim Dusty sings I love being in the afterlife




I love being in the afterlife
I think it's rather grand
I see people who dead before I was born
Including my great great great gran
You see I went up to her and asked the question
Do you wanna beer, or don'tcha
And she just said to me
I have never heard of beer, oh I know I never have
But I will have one just to try one
And I was happy to give her a taste
I love being in the afterlife
I think it's rather grand
I see people who died before I was born
Like Edward Teach, who was Blackbeard
And I asked him if he'll like a beer or do you want me
To walk the plank, and guess what he said to me
You see, Slim, I would love to have a beer with you
I think we never had beer back then
But even if we did, I don't think it's as nice as this
Thank you Slim, if we had more people like you
When I was on earth, I wouldn't had to be so bad
I love being in the afterlife
I think it's rather grand
I see people who died before I was born
Like the great WG Grace
I asked him, mate you played our game
You deserve a beer
And WG Grace took one look at me
And after that he said, you see back then I loved playing cricket
And I had my fair share of beer
But since you joined the afterlife Slim
A Saturn lager is the best for me
And to my gran and Blackbeard and WG Grace
Thanks for welcoming me here in the afterlife
And I love floating from planet to planet
See ya later

Rainbow village Episode 17



Fred, Lyle and Georgina decided to walk down to the shopping mall about 15 minutes away from Rainbow village, and as they were walking some of the young hooligans were skidding down, burning rubber, and some bikies did wheelies, which made Lyle jitter and he ended up saying, that you guys ate a pack of losers and should be f..n locked up, and one hooligan threw a rock right in his face, and Lyle collapsed straight away, while Fred stayed with Lyle, while Georgina went for some help.
Fred told Lyle not to panic, even if he was in pain, and then 2 hours later. The culprit came over, and told Fred, when I was a little boy, I was taken from my home, by a weird man who fits his description and his age, and I know his name, because I don't forget much from those days, and when he said that Gia name was Lyle Hoffman, Fred couldn't understand,
And Lyle told him, that he didn't **** him, so why do you want revenge, and he said because no one ever gets his hand on Peter Buchanan, and now, Lyle, you are going to be ******* in the public toilets, but I think I want you not to be as lucky as I was, so Fred, you go back to your retirement village, (which he said moving his fingers up over his head) and let me deal with Lyle Hoffman and Fred pulled out his mobile to call the police and Peter knocked it out of Fred's hand and then he said, that he doesn't trust him, so Peter took Lyle and Fred hostage and brought them to a rundown factory, and when he got them into the machinery room, Peter set the bomb to go off, in 3 hours, Peter wasn't wanting to **** Fred, so he made his rope escapable, but Lyle's ropes were on tight, and when Fred got free, he went over to rescue Lyle, but his rope was too tight, and he couldn't get the rope loose.
Lyle told Fred, his version of events, which didn't sound good for Lyle's defence, because it sounds like Lyle made his bed, and wanted Peter to lie in it,
What Lyle said, he got sick of Peter and his mates teasing him and to get revenge Lyle grabbed Peter and pulled him into the car and drove him off to the country, and then when he got him there, Lyle decided to get his gun and stick it at Peter, to make him too scared to say anything, but Lyle said in his defence, he let Peter go before the police arrived and shot through, and then he told Peter, tell a soul and your dead, and Peter was scared shitless, and apparently Peter hasn't worked since, but Lyle called him a gutless trouble maker.
Peter came back in and Fred told him, I see why you are doing this, Lyle told us the whole story, but you are making you just as bad as him, and Peter said, he is the reason why I am walking around psych wards all my life, and if you don't let me **** Lyle, I will go to Rainbow village and tell the manager that Lyle should be locked up, and not given the lap of f..n luxury, and Fred told Peter, please spare him, I have the name of a good lawyer, and he can help you get justice against Lyle, and Lyle went. 'hey'.  And then began to be super scared of Peter, because what happened was a long time ago, but Peter didn't give a hoot, but Fred's advice made sense, though, if he loses Fred will cop it, big time.
So Peter let Fred and Lyle go, but that wasn't it, no Peter rang up this bloke and, yes, Lyle went to court, and in court Lyle was getting fried, a he can't seem to defend himself properly, Lyle said one word and the prosecutor kept throwing stuff at him, and despite Lyle having Rainbow village giving him character references and all thar, Lyle's defence wasn't looking too good, and after 1 week of 3 sessions, the magistrate brought the matter in front of a higher court, which could mean jail time for Lyle, and the date was exactly 3 months time, Lyle was scared as he said to Fred. It's all your fault, he was a blushing trouble-maker and Fred said, yes but it still ain't right.
The end

MY DAD WHISKED ROBIN WILLIAMS OVER THE CLOUD 9, TO BE HIS TWIN BROTHER

OR WITH THE HELP OF CRONUS AND BUDDHA, YOU SEE AS SOON AS ROBIN WILLIAMS DIED

CRONUS, AND BUDDHA, PUT DAD ON CLOUD 9, TO CALM THE SOULD OF DEAD ROBIN WILLIAMS

YOU SEE, BUDDHA AND CRONUS, HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD TOGETHER TO GET ROBIN WILLIAMS

INTO LISA CAMPBELL’S ******, I KNOW THEY WERE EXPECTING TWINS ANYWAY, AND BUDDHA

MADE ROBIN WILLIAMS DIE IN AUGUST TO GROW THE FETUS INSIDE, DAD, IS THE MIGHTIER TWIN

CAUSE, HIS SOULD WAS ALREADY THERE, BUT IN AUGUST, AS I TOLD YOU, ROBIN WILLIAMS DIED

TO GROW HIS SOUL INTO LISA CAMPBELL’S OTHER TWIN, I AM NOT TRYING TO MAKE LISA CAMPBELL

FEEL BAD, ACTUALLY I PREFER HER AND DAVID NOT TO BE FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH ME,

I PREFER THIS TO BE KEPT OUT OF THEIR FAMILY, BECAUSE, I AM JUST EXPLAINING ROBIN WILLIAMS’S

ROLE IN THE ******, DAD IS ONLY MIGHTIER, BECAUSE HE WAS THE FIRST ONE DIED, AND

I DON’T BELIEVE, THAT BOTH SOULS HAVE TO BE THERE AT BIRTH, BUT BUDDHA IS LIKE THE CHRISTIAN GOD

HE CAN’T PRE EXPLAIN ANYTHING, AND ME, WELL I MADE SURE THAT DAD HAD ROBIN WILLIAMS SOUL

FOR BEING NICE TO ME, BY BEING A FATHER AND GOING TO MY CHRISTMAS PARTIES WITH MY MUM AND DAD

AND ANOTHER THING, DAD IS GIVEN THIS CREDIT, FOR NOT KICKING ME OUT, WHEN I WAS A DRUNKEN LOUT

YOU SEE THIS IS THE BEST PLACE FOR DAD, DAVID CAMPBELL MORNINGS, JIMMY BARNES GRANDDADDY

AND MY OLD FRIEND OLGA CHICK, FROM VINNIES IN SOUL LEO AND OTHER TWIN AFTER DEATH ROBIN WILLIAMS

SOULD GRADUALLY ENTERED OTHER TWIN AFTER BUDDHA KILLED HIM

BUDDHA WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS, BUT IT’S BEEN DONE NOW, ONLY COMPLICATIONS CAN STOP IT

THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY




YOU SEE MY FAMILY WERE A GOOD CAMPING FAMILY

AND WE HAD THIS BIG ORANJE TENT, WHERE THE

FAMILY BROUGHT TO CAMPING GROUNDS, TO

ENJOY WEEKEND CAMPING, I REMEMBER CAMPING

EVERY WHERE AROUND NSW AND THE ACT

AND AS A WAY OF EXCAPING THE NORMAL LIVES

ME AND MY BROTHER PUT THE TENT UP IN THE BACKYARD

AND HAD OUR OWN CAMPING GROUND, AND I HAVE

SO MANY GREAT MOMENTS, LIKE NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES WITH LYLE

AND YEAH, I WAS LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGER, WITH SLEEPOVERS IN THE TENT

AND HAVING AN ESKY OF DRINK AND SAUSAGES AND OTHER THINGS LIKE

CHIPS AND I GOT SOME GREAT PHOTOS ME AND LYLE ARE HAVING A GREAT

PARTY FOR NEW YEARS EVE, WE CELEBRATED WITH POISON AND DEF LEOPARD

AND LYLE BOUGHT AIR SUPPLY, OH MY GODFATHER, I HATE THAT BAND

I REMEMBER WHEN ME AND MY BROTHER WENT IN THE TENT, WE WATCHED TV

AND WE TALKED FOR HOURS LIKE ME AND LYLE, WE HAD A HEAP OF ****** FUN

YA SEE I REMEMBER LYLE SAID HE WASN’T SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN

AND I AM NOT SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN EITHER

AND MY BROTHER LOVED TO JOKE AROUND WITH US

YA SEE, LYLE WAS ENJOYING PUTTING THE TENT UP

AND WE BOTH HAD OUR STEREOS, AND WE PLAYED GREAT TOP 49 HITS OF THAT ERA

YOU SEE, MY DAD WAS A GREAT CAMPER AND BUSHWALKER, AND BUDDHA’S SPIRIT

MADE ME INHERIT DAD’S ADVENTURE BLOOD, BECAUSE, OF MY LAST 2 HUMAN LIVES

BEING GREAME THORNE, AND PATRICK DUNBAR, BOTH KILLED AT 8

AND BUDDHA MADE ME AN ALLAN, TO KEEP ME SAFE

BUT I WAS A KEEN BACKYARD CAMPER, COOKING ON GAS BBQS

AND EATING CHIPS, AND HEAPS OF CHOCOLATES, AND ME AND LYLE BOTH WATCHED THE CRICKET

ON THE TELEVISION IN THE TENT AND NEW YEARS EVE, WE WATCHED THE GREAT

BICENTENNIAL NEW YEARS EVE CONCERT IN 1987, ME AND LYLE HAD FUN DOING THIS AS

WELL AS WATCH GREAT MOVIES ON THE VHS RECORDER,

BUT THAT ALL ENDED, WE RAGED A BIG PARTY IN THE TENT, WITH MUSIC AND GREAT FOOD

I CAN’T REALLY HAVE ***, I AM NOT THE *** TYPE, I TALK ABOUT ***** DONORS

BUT ONE THING I WAS GOOD AT, WAS TALKING, WITH LYLE, PATRICK MY BROTHER, SCOTT,

AND MANY MORE, AND THE BIG ORANGE TENT WAS FINALLY BOUGHT BY A FAMILY

I THOUGHT I SAW IT AT THE ABORIGINAL TENT EMBASSY, IT COULD’VE BEEN

IT LOOKED LIKE IT, AND IT’S GOOD THAT, IF IT IS, THAT POOR PEOPLE WITHOUT A HOME

ARE ENJOYING THIS TENT AS A HOME

GREAT ALLAN FAMILY CAMPING OVER

THE ALLAN FAMILY FUN DAY AT THE SPORTS


YA SEE, WE HAD FUN GOING  TO RAIDERS BACK WHEN THEIR HOME GAMES WAS

AT SEIFFERT OVAL IN QUEANBEYAN, WITH MY MATE LYLE, FRANK AND PAT

AND WE CUT OUR LUNCHES AND PACKED OUR BAGS, GOT OUR FLAGS READY

WITH JUMPERS JUST IN CASE WE GOT COLD, AND OFF TO THE FOOTY WE GO

AND WE YELLED OUT RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP

EVEN IF THEY **** OR NOT, WE STILL BARRACKED FOR THE RAIDERS

WE YELLED OUT

RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP

AND LYLE YELLED BLUE ****** AT THE REFEREE

AND THE LADY BEHIND SAID, CAN YA QUIETEN YA LANGUAGE, THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL HERE

LYLE GOT CRANKY, DUDE AND THEN WE CHEERED OUT

RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP  RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP

AS THE RAIDERS RUN ON ME AND LYLE, YELLED, GO, GO, GO, GO GO GO

AND AS THE RAIDERS SCORED, ME AND LYLE JUMPED UP AND CHEERED, YIPPEE I AY

WE CHEERED GET PFF HIM YA ****** OPPOSITION PLAYER

OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE ****** ESTABLISHORY COURT

ME AND PAT, SAID, WHAT THE **** IS AN ESTABLISERY COURT, ANYWAY

WE BROUGHT OUR RADIOS, SO WE CAN HEAR THE STUPID COOMENTATORS

HARTLEY AND PETERS, MAKE FUN OF EACH OTHER

WE WATCHED ALL 3 GRADES, BUDDY

TEASING ONE ANOTHER AS WE GO ABOUT OUR DUTIES OF CHEERING

RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP  RAIDERS CLAP CLAP CLAP

AND WE HAD FUN TEASING ONE ANOTHER

I WAS THE IMAGINATION KING, AND ME AND LYLE ALSO WENT TO

THE CHEER FOR THE BELCONNEN MAGPIES WITH OUR BLACK AND WHITE STREAMERS

AND I CHEERED LOUDLY AND A LADY SAID, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP

I SAID NEH,  WHY SHOULD I LAD, IT’S A PRBLIC PLACE THIS FOOTY GROUND

AND AT THE CANBERRA COSTAIN CAT MATCH, I YELLED OUT COME ON *****’S

MEANING I WANT THE **** CCHHERGIRLS TO COME OUT

BUT THIS MAN THOUGHT I MEANT ***** CATS, AND SAID SHUT UP IDIOT

LYLE SAID, DON’T WORRY, IF YA WANT TO CHEER THE CHEERLEADERS ON WITH SOME ***

GO FOR IT, TIGER, AND YOU SHOULD CHEER FOR YOUR TEAM AS MUCH AS YA WANT

ME AND LYLE ALSO TOOK CARLA AND HER BROTHER CHRIS TO THE CANNONS

AND WE YELL OUT, CANNONS CLAP CLAP CLAP CANNONS CLAP CLAP CLAP CANNONS CLAP CLAP CLAP

AND EVERY BASKET, LYLE YELLED OUT, A BIG, HOOOORAHHHH

AND ANOTHER CHEER WENT LIKE THIS

HERE WE GO CANNONS, HERE WE GO, CLAP CLAP

HERE WE GO CANNONS HERE WE GO CLAP CLAP

HERE WE GO CANNONS HERE WE GO CLAP CLAP

AND WE RAN OUT AFTER THE CANNONS WON OR LOST ON TO THE COURT, TO HAVE A FEW SHOTS AT THE BASKET

I REMEMBER, I BECAME VERY POPULAR GOING TO SPORTS EVENTS, LIKE THIS

OUR RAID BASKETBALL WENT ONTO THE FIELD ONE DAY

AND THERE WAS A FINAL ON, AND ME, LYLE AND CARLA WAS IN THE SAME ROW

BECAUSE, THE SEATS, WERE SOLD, LYLE’S MUM SAID

BRIAN IS BEING FUNNY, HE IS PLAYING A JOKE ON YOU

BUT IF LYLE WANTS TO TEASE LIKE THAT WITH HIS FAMILY, I DON’T WANT HIS MATESHIP INTO ADULT HOOD

AND ME AND LYLE HAD A FALLING OUT, LYLE SHIPPED OFF TO SALE,

CANNONS ARE NO MORE

RAIDERS GRAND FINAL IS NO MORE

LYLE’S FRIENDSHIP IS NO MORE

OH YEAH IT SEEMS TO GO, YA DON’T KNOW WHAT YA HAD TILL IT’S GONE

YA SEE WITH PARADISE, WE ENDED THESE STUPID MATES

ALL BECAUSE OF A MISTAKE IN 1990, ON GRAND FINAL DAY

I ALWAYS REMEMBERED PLAYING BASKETBALL AND WODEN AND HAVING A DRINK IN THE CLUB AFTERWARDS

IT WAS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

I WAS UNDERAGED, BUT I STUCK WITH JUICE

I REMEMBER PAT ORGANISED THIS BIG BBQ IN HIS FLAT

WITH EVERYONE FROM BASKETBALL

AND WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN

THANK YOU PATRICK AND LYLE

FOR LETTING ME HAVE MY WONDERFUL LIFE

THANKS DUDES

HE ALLAN FAMILY STORY




SEEING ME AND MY BROTHER WERE INTERESTED IN THE SPORTS WAY OF LIFE

DAD AND MUM TOOK US DOWN TO THE KIPPAX GYM TO PLAY SQUASH, I COULDN’T HIT

A SQUASH BALL, SO I PLAYED RACQUET BALL, EASIER TO BOUNCE, AND I WON MANY GAMES

AND MY IMAGINATION, WAS AFTER WE PLAYED FOOTBALL ON  THE ALLAN FAMILY SPORTS STADIUM,

THE FOOTBALLERS WENT TO THE KIPPAX CLUB AFTERWARDS TO PLAY SQUASH, EVERYONE IN MY

FAMILY WAS A FOOTBALLER IN MY IMAGINATIVE FOOTBALL GROUND, PLAYING SQUASH OR RACQUET BALL

TO LOOSEN UP THEIR MUSCLES, AND MY BROTHER HAD A BIT OF A SULK, BECAUSE, A DECISION DIDN’T GO

RIGHT FOR HIM, , MEANWHILE BACK AT HOME, I LIKED THE IDEA, OF HAVING THE PRETEND YASS MAGPIES FOOTBALL CLUB

WHERE I WILL DRAW MENUS UP, LIKE CHOPS WITH GINGER AND CHIVES, RISSOLES WITH VEGETABLES AND MASHED POTATO,

THIS CAUSED A BIT OF BLUE WITH ME AND DAD, THEN MUM RANG UP AND I ANSWERED IT SAYING, YASS FOOTBALL CLUB

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A RESEVATION AND MUM LAUGHED WITH AMAZEMENT SAYING, WHAT IF THIS WAS SOMEONE ELSE,

THEY WILL SAY, OOPS I HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER, AND THEN I WAS GETTING BORED OF TV

SO I WROTE MY OWN TV GUIDE FOR THE CHANNELL TVN/OBO, THE CHANNELL IN MY IMAGINATION, I PUT SPORTS SHOWS ON IT

AND ME AND MY BROTHER, HAD A HANDLE BALL COMPETITION, WHERE WE USED MY BROTHERS YELLOW SPONGE, AND

I OCCASIONALLY BORROWED IT, SOMETIMES WITHOUT HIM KNOWING IT.

I WAS IN THE LOUNGE ROOM TALKING MY PARENTS UNDER THE TABLE

DAD LOVED THE IDEA, OF TEASING BY GETTING THE LAST WORD IN

BUT MUM WAS DIFFERENT, SHE GAVE ME THE PEN AND PAPER AND

SAID, GO AND WRITE ANOTHER TV GUIDE, SO SHE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WATCH

YA SEE I WAS OBSESSED WITH TV GUIDES, AND I BOUGHT THE TV WEEK TO SCHOOL

AND PAUL WANTED ALL THE COOL POSTERS, BUT, I HELPED HIM OUT, I WAS NICE

POSTERS, ARE EASY TO COME BY, AND I BROUGHT MAPS OF CANBERRA AND

SHOVED THEM UNDER MY DESK AT SCHOOL, THEN I MOVED AND MANDY SAID

GET THESE STUPID MAPS OUT FROM UNDER MY DESK, AND I WAS OBSSESSED WITH LOOKING AT MAPS

I TRIED TO DIRECT MY DAD TO THARWA, BUT DAD CRACKED A JOKE TOO THARWA, MEANING TOO FAR AWAY

WE WENT TO TIDBINBILLA A LOT, THE TRACKING STATION AND THE NATURE RESERVE

I PLAYED BINGO WITH MY GRANNY, AND I WENT TO COLES DEPARTMENT STORE WITH MY NANNY

AND I LOVED THAT ALL SO MUCH, I PLAYED BINGO WITH LYLE AND ATE AT K MART WITH LYLE

LYLE WAS MORE OF AN OLDER BROTHER THAN A MATE, BUT WE MADE A PACT, TO GO TO

ACTTAB, TO BET ON THE FOOTY, WE NEVER WON, THAT IS WHY I DON’T DO IT NOW

I FELT MY DRINKING GRANDFATHER WHO DIED WHEN I WAS 3, SPIRIT WAS ALIVE WITH THE COOL KIDS AT THE MALL

DAD TOLD ME, I DON’T WANT TO BE ONE OF YOUR MOB TO ME, BECAUSE, I WAS TEASING HIM

I TEASED DAD, BECAUSE, THE VIBE WAS THERE TO TEASE MY FATHER

BUT DAD WAS A GREAT HELPER, HE WORKED HARD AT THE YMCA, AND AT ALL HIS TEACHING POSITIONS

DAD LOVED PLAYING WAR GAMES, ON HIS COMPUTER

ME AND MY BROTHER PLAYED A SOCCER GAME CALLED THE BOSS

WHERE YOU PICK YOUR TEAMS, YA SEE IT TEACHES YOU HOW TO BE A PROFFESIONAL SOCCER MANAGER

AND MY BROTHER HAD ALL HIS MATES TO PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, HE ENJOYED THAT A LOT

L;IKE I ENJOYED PLAYING FOOTBALL IN THE FRONT YARD AND CRICKET IN THE BACKYARD

AND THIS WAS VERY FUN FOR THE ALLAN'S

THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY PART 4




YA SEE, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE COOL KID TO THE FAMILY

IN MY MUM AND DADS EYES, AND I USED TO PLAY SHOWS LIKE THE COOPERS

FAMILY, WHICH IS ABOUT RON AND SALLY’S QUEST TO OPEN A FAMILY BUSINESS

IN A HOSPITAL, WHERE THEY HAD A SON, DAVID, AND HE MARRIED RAELEEN

AND THEY HAD A BOY NAMED DON COOPER, AND THEY HAD A DAUGHTER NAMED

SUE COOPER WHO MARRIED BIKIE JOHN PRENDTH, AND HAD A LITTLE BOY NAMED

FRANK PRENDTH, AND I WAS GETTING INSPIRATION FROM MAGAZINES AND TV

ON HOW TO BRING MORE CHARACTERS, LIKE JACK RUNNING THE BAR, JEAN AS THE COOK

AND MARTIN TATE, AS THE AMBULANCE DRIVER, WHO WAS A BIT OF AN ALCOHOLIC

WHO WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MENTAL HEALTH NURSE, MICHELLE TATE, AND THE

THEME SONG WAS, AIN’T SHE SWEET, SEE HER COMING DOWN THE STREET

I ASK HER VERY CONFIDENTIALLY, AIN’T SHE SWEET, AIN’T SHE NICE

LOOK HER OVER ONCE OR TWICE, I ASK YOU VERY CONFIDENTIALLY AIN’T SHE NICE

JUST CAST AN EYE, IN HER DIRECTION, OH ME OH MY, AIN’T THAT PERFECTION

I REPEAT, I THINK THAT’S KIND OF NEAT, I ASK YOU VERY CONFIDENIALLY AIN’T SHE NICE

AND I PLAYED BEWITCHED, AND MY BROTHER SAID, DO YOU PLAY IT, THAT IS SO STUPID

BUT IF I WANNA PLAY A SHOW, I WILL PLAY A SHOW, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO, IT’S LIKE THIS

WRITING, AND I ENJOYED TWITCHING MY NOSE TRYING TO ZAP MYSELF 1 MILLION DOLLARS

OR TO A REMOTE RESTAURANT IN THE HEART OF TOWN,

MY NEXT SHOW, I PLAYED WAS LIVE STOCK, ABOUT A VET NAMED MARK SARGENT, COMING TO

START A PRACTICE IN CLAXTON HILL, AND EACH EPISODE HE WENT ABOUT HIS ROUNDS AT ALL

THE FARMS IN THE DISTRICT, AND ROBBO’S PUB, WHERE MARK OFTEN WENT FOR FRIDAY AND

SATURDAY NIGHT DRINKS, AND A LOT OF THE KIDS OF CLAXTON HILL, WERE OFTEN GETTING INTO

PROBLEMS, I GOT THIS IDEA, FROM A MIXTURE OF ALL THE SOAPS IN THE 80S AND ALSO THE VET

SHOW, CALLED, ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, EVERY NEW YEARS EVE, I WILL PLAY A NEW YEARS SHOW

FEATURING THE NEW YEAR TIGER, AND THE CAST OF ALL MY FAKE TELEVISION SHOW CHARACTERS

AND ONCE AT MY GRANDMAS HOUSE, I PLAYED A CHRISTMAS SHOW IN HER BACKYARD AND I WAS A LOUD WILD DUDE

I SANG WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND SOME KIDS CAME TO ME, AND SAID, CAN YOU SHUT UP, WE WANT YOU TO SHUT UP

THIS WAS BECAUSE, I RAN AWAY FROM TEASERS AS A KID, CAUSE I WAS A TAD SCARED, MY BROTHER WASN’T THOUGH, HE STAYED

WITH THEM, AND THE KIDS SAID WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

CAUSE WE’RE TEASING YOU, YA SEE I THOUGHT I WAS A REAL MANS KID, YA SEE I THOUGHT JUST BECAUSE I WAS A SPORTS WATCHER

IT MEANS I GET LEFT ALONE, IT DOESN’T SILENCE ME, IF I WANT TO PL;AY SHOWS, I WILL DO IT IN MY ROOM, AND ALL THE ADULTS

WERE WORRIED, CAUSE THEIR PERFECT AURA WAS RUINED, AND TO THESE KIDS, I WAS A REAL SHY PERSON, BUT I USED

TO TEASE AT SCHOOL, I NEVER WAGGED UNLESS IT WAS THE LAST DAY AT SCHOOL, BECAUSE, I LIKED MY MATES AT SCHOOL

THEY WERE ALL SO NICE TO ME, I JUST ENJOYED THESE POOR LITTLE KIDDIES, IN THE BACKYARD OF MY GRANNY’S HOUSE

AND I PLAYED AUSSIE RULES IN THE FRONT YARD, YA SEE, I PLAYED MY WEEKLY MAFL TOURNAMENT, AND MY BROTHER PLAYED HIS COMP

YA SEE, WHEN MY BROTHER WAS AT A MATES HOUSE, I DID MY MAFL TOURNAMENT, AND DAD CAME OUT AND SAID, YOU HAVE TO

LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD, BRIAN, CAUSE, THIS ISN’T A FOOTY GROUND, IT’S A FRONT YARD WITH A GARDEN, AND MUMMY WANTS

TO GROW FLOWERS, SO I WILL TAKE YOUR FOOTBALL AND BAN IT FROM YOU, I KNOW YOU ARE A KID, BUT, MUMMY WANTS

TO START A GARDEN, AND I USED TO GET TEASED, BY PEOPLE WALKING PAST, SAYING, I ACT LIKE AN IDIOT OUTSIDE, AND I

SAID, I AM NOT SHY, I LIKE PLAYING FOOTY WITH MY BROTHER OUTSIDE, I PLAYED JAILBIRD AT MY SCHOOL, WHICH IS ABOUT

TWO BIRDS, JAIL BIRD FLIES AROUND THE JAIL CHECKING ON EACH INMATES WELL BEING, AND FREE BIRD, CAPTURES THE

CRIMINALS TO BRING THEM TO JAILBIRD TO BE LOCKED AWAY, AND MY SCHOOL LOOKED AT IT AS ME TALKING TO THE TREES

ME AND MY BROTHER, USED TO PLAY FRONT YARD AND BACKYARD CRICKET, MY COUNTRY WAS MYTH WITH PLAYERS LIKE
DEAN MASSEY, ASHLEY MONDEY, AND MYSELF, MY BROTHERS COUNTRY

WAS ETHIOPIA, WITH PLAYERS LIKE TRINNEN, BOTANY, LAITLAT, AND MANY MORE, AND THE STREET USED TO COME IN AND

PLAY YARD CRICKET WITH US, I ENJOYED THIS, MY MATE LYLE WAS A REALLY WILD BOWLER, I CAN HARDLY HIT ANY OF HIS BOWLS

THEY ARE SO **** FAST, I START TO THINK THAT LYLE WAS A VERY FAST BOWLER IN HIS PREVIOUS LIFE, I ALSO PLAYED

WATER CRICKET IN THE SWIMMING POOL, AND THIS WAS EVER SO FUN, BUT ON A HOT DAY, AND THE BALL WAS HIT OUT

OF THE WATER, IT WAS HARD FOR EACH OF US TO GET OUT OF THE NICE COOL WATER TO FETCH THE BALL,

I PLAYED SPORTS SHOWS WITH MY BROTHER, AND WE GOT IN MANY FIGHTS, LIKE NORMAL KIDS DO, AND

DAD SAT THERE WATCHING TV, SAYING ME AND MUMMY DIDN’T REALISE HAVING KIDS WILL BE THIS HARD

LIKE HE CRAWLED UNDER A ROCK OR SOMETHING, I WATCHED FAMOUS FIVE AND SECRET VALLEY AND

I WATCHED SKIPPY, WHERE KIDS WERE GETTING ******* ALL THE TIME, AND I WATCHED YOU CAN’T DO THAT ON TV

AND SAW KIDS IN A DUNGEON, YEAH HYPED ME OUT, I BOUGHT MAGAZINES, AND PUT TEXTA GAGS ON KIDS MOUTHS

AND TEXTA DRAW ROPE AROUND THOSE KIDS, MY BROTHER SAID TO MELINDA, WE SHOULDN’T TELL OUR PARENTS EVERYTHING

I DANCED TO POISON AND EVERY SATURDAY MORNING I WATCHED THE RAGE TOP 50 ON ABC TV, AND EACH WEEK

I WROTE THE CHART DOWN, LIKE I HAD AUTISM OR SOMETHING, AND AFTER THAT, I WENT TO BOWLING

AND I WATCHED THE CHART WITH MY BROTHER, WHEN HE GOT OUT OF BED, AND WE PARTIED TO THE CHART SHOW EVERY SATURDAY MORNING

THEY STOPPED DOING THAT IN 2008, BUT I LOST INTEREST IN DOING THAT, WHEN I FOUND OUT ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE A RESULT

OF SCHITZOPHRENIA, AND I PRETENDED I WAS A BIG TV MANAGER, GOING FROM PUB TO PUB, WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH THAT

BUT I WAS PRETENDING TOO MUCH, 1 2 3 4 DO THE SCHITZOPHRENIC FROM MY FIRST DIAGNOSIS TO MY CURRENT SITUATION

I AM ON MEDICATION, NOW I AM REFORMED, CAUSE THIS SHOWS THAT I AM A FAMILY PERSON.

Ken Almond loves to push people down to little young dude status




You Ken Almond was a really tough guy who loves to bully people
He loves to first of all get the kids to play cool for the family
And after that, he wants them to muck around at night with them
And Ken Almond wasn't sympatic, no he would push little cool kids down
And tell them you ain't like us, now and forever
And each kid said, I hate you, I hate you all
And also each kid also said, ****** oathe I am a boy
You see he gets these weird voices which are destroying his friendship
With people,,so what he does is tease and rib him
Like he is a real fucken crazy person
Who has a lot of ****** problems
And ken will take these kids out and give them a bit of a rib
And then hand them back to their parents
And then after that ken will play the all innocent act on them
Then each time, he sees these Kids, he will do the same
And act the same, and both be as stupid as a pack of wild boars
You see, to lure them in, he says that he is one of the young dudes
And will muck with then in little baby groups
And then when he gets with some cool people
He will rib them like nothing else, mind you, the kids ****** hate it
And then after that, Ken would take these kids home
And then play happy families with him and his folks
He will do anything to make these kids see that they aren't  ever going to be cool kids
even if he one day has to kidnap them to tease them, and make them feel fucken awful
After that Ken. Decided to head to the pub and emuck with all the men
And actually he has a great time at the club
And also after that he'll talk to a lot of adults
And ***** about them all day
Ken is having a great time teasing these kids
Then as he enjoys doing anything around the house
He treats him like a little young dude and ribs
Him away from the adult life, and into mucking with the proper adults
And Ken after that says, let's  party, like we are going to party all night
And then once he has the young dudes to stay up all night with him
He will say to them, that he is still too shy to be like us
He is still a cool kid, nothing bad will happen while you stay with us
And if you want to be like us, mate you have to prove yourself, dude
Then when his family comes over to talk with him
Ken will muck shy with him and say, I am like them you shy boy
And I am smarter than you anyday, you are still a koomarri man
And you are not a normal person man, but the little young dudes say
Yes, I am.cool, you guys and I will teaee all the babies in the street
And, then after that, Ken will say, hey
And you say straight back to him
Hey is in the paddock where the horses are
And then you will say again, hey is in the paddock where the horses are
And then you will say, hey is in the paddock where the horses are
And after that, he will say, you are cool
And don't forget what I taught ya, have a great life, dude
Ken will come back to the young dudes and sit with them
And say, get ****** buddy, get ****** buddy, get ****** buddy
And as he says it, he'll say, he'll move backwards away from him
Ken will say, hey dudes , I am so cool
And I am playing cool, and saying hey to each little young dude
Just to improve my mojo
And the young dudes say, hey is in the paddock where the horses are

YO, HEY WHAT’S HAPPENING DUDE

WHY ARE YOU SAYING I AM TOO WOOSEY

TO BE A COMPUTER NERD ALL THE TIME

CAUSE YOU SEE **** SIR, IT’S OBVIOUS TO SEE

I HATE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD, TRYING TO GET THE BETTER OF ME

I AM GETTING MY WAY IN THIS WORLD

THE BIG MEN ARE TRYING TO STAY WITH ME

CAUSE I AM A YOUTTUBE ENTERTAINER AN ARTIST AND WRITER DUDE

AND THIS GUY SAYS, MR ALLAN IS DEAD

SO HE WILL BE THE DADDY FIGURE

HE PROBABLY DOESN’T GO ON MANY HOLIDAYS

I GO ON A LOT OF HOLIDAYS

HE JUST WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE YOUNG DUDES, WHICH I AM

AQND HE SAYS, I WILL PLAY COOL FOR YOU

AND WE CAN GO TO A LOT OF PARTIES, YA SEE I LIKE PARTIES

I LIKE SAFE PARTIES, THAT DON’T GET GATE CRASHED

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A TARGET TO ROB

I PREFER TO BE TREATED LIKE THE COOL KID THAT I AM

FOR I AM COOL, I AM COOL, I AM ON FACEBOOK

I LIKE PEOPLE MAKING UP THEIR OWN MIND

LIKE ME, I HAVE MY OWN MIND, I HATED WHEN EVERYONE TREATED ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN OR KIDNAPPER OR SHY PERSON

WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS BEING A LITTLE FAMILY COOL KID

WHO HAS A PASSION FOR PARTYING IN THE BLIND BEGGARS INN

AND HUNGRY HORSE, AND THE PRIVATE BIN AND THE FIREHOUSE

I WANT YOUNG DUDES TO FOLLOW MY PARTY WAY

I AM NOT AN OLD FOGIE, I AM A COOL MAN, BUT I AM NOT GETTING FOUGHT

CAUSE, I SHOWED CANBERRA, HOW TO ****** PARTY

YA SEE I WRITE ABOUT DAD, CAUSE, I HATE BEING AN ADULT TO DADS POINT OF VIEW

I HATED IT, I WOULD KNOW, MY OWN FEELINGS

I WAS TRYING TO TEASE DAD WITH THE PARTY DUDES, BUT THEY WOULDN’T BUDGE

DAD USED TO GET SICK OF ME, TEASING ME, BUT I WAS SHOWING ME, I WANNA BE COOL

AND I WANNA PARTY, AND NOW, I STILL WANNA PARTY, AT COMMUNITY EVENTS

CAUSE ANY MUSIC IS PARTY MUSIC TO ME

I WAS NICE TO DAD, CAUSE HE IS A PERSON, AND HE IS THE REASON WHY I AM A INTERNET CELEBRITY

THAT IS WHY I STOPPED FIGHTING HIM, BUT I STILL CALL HIM CONSERVATIVE

WHEN I SIT DOWN ON THE CHAIR, I DO ART, AND I DANCE I FRED AISTAIRE

I HATE MY FAMILY IN MY HEAD TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I HATE WHEN THEY SAY, I AM COOL, THEY GOTTA WORK

I WANNA SIT THERE AND WORK ON BEING CREATIVE, YA SEE

DAD CAME INTO MY DREAM LAST NIGHT, AND SAID, DON’T BE LIKE ME ANYMORE BRIAN

I SEE EVIL IN PATRICK, I SAID TO HIM, NO, DAD, DON’T MAKE DAVID LUCK DO WHAT YOU USED TO DO

CAUSE, YEAH YOU CRACKED JOKES, BUT ONLY NERDS SAY THEY DON’T WANNA BE COOL

IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I LIKED DAVID, HE HELPED ME GET MY MOJO BACK, YOU SEE DAD, YOU DID SQUATT TO HELP ME BACK THEN

YOU DID MORE WHEN I WAS AN ADULT, IT’S LIKE YOU WERE SCARED OF CHRIS OR SOMETHING

YA SEE, IF I HAD THOSE FRIENDS WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WOULD’VE GONE TO NIGHTCLUBS WITH THEM

BUT I PARTIED IN CLUBS ANYHOW

I HATE HOW, EVERYONE IS TRYING TO RUN ME RUGGED,

I HATE THIS VOICE, DADS NOT AROUND ANYMORE, CHRIS’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE

LYLE’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE, IT IS SOOOO NEGATIVE

IT’S LIKE THERE IS TRUTH IN KILLING OLD FOGIES OFF ONE BY ONE

IT ALL STARTED WHEN THESE DUDES WHO KNEW ME FROM THE RAIDERS

WANTED TO DRIVE ME HOME FROM MENTAL AS ANYTHING

BUT I WANTED TO GO OVER TO ENLIGHTEN

I LEFT PAT ON HIS OWN, AFTER HE GOT UPSET BECAUSE HE WANTED TO DO HIS HOUSEWORK IN PEACE

SO I WENT TO THE MALL INSTEAD OF GOING TO HIS HOUSE

I DON’T WANNA BE A BURDEN ON HIM OR ANYONE

I HATE HOW YOUR ALLOWING, THE VOICE SAYING SHUT UP WOOSEY

OF HIM TREATIMG ME LIKE LYLE, I ONLY LIKED LYLE’S WORDS

LIKE BLIMIE CHARLIE, HOLY MACAROLY, AND HOLY SMOKES ETC ETC

BUT ME AND PAT LAUGHED AT LYLE’S STUPID MAN

LIKE GET OFF HIM YA ****** MANLY PLAYER OR I WILL TAKE HIM TO THE ESTABLISHORY COURT

ME AND PAT CRACKED UP FOR HOURS, ABOUT THAT

I KNOW HE AIN’T MY DADDY, BUT YEAH, HE WAS FUNNILY STUPID

AND DAD, YOU NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND, I DON’T BELIEVE IN GROWING OLD

I WANT TO STAY YOUNG AND COOL FOREVER

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY I LIKE AIR SUPPLY, I HATE AIR SUPPLY

I LIKE THE ANGELS DOGS ARE TALKING, AND ACCA DACCA

AND POISON, AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT BY TWISTED SISTER

PAT WAS A NICE FRIEND, BUT THESE VOICES INDICATE THAT PAT ONLY DID THAT FOR CHRIS

I WANT TO BE A PARTY DUDE, BUDDY, RIGHT NOW

I HATE HOW THE COSMOS IS GETTING PATRICK TO TAKE MY KID OUT OF ME

I WAS THE COOL KID AT SCHOOL, HE WAS A COOL KID TOO, BUT I WAS TOO

LYLE WAS THE ******, BUT HE WAS ******, ****** OATHE HE WAS

MY STORIES INDICATE TO ME, DAD, OF HOW I WAS AT SCHOOL

I HATE THE AFTERLIFE TREATING ME LIKE I AM TOO SHY TO BE AN ARTIST

I LIKE DOING CREATIVE THINGS LIKE ART

PLEASE, DON’T PUT YOUR TEASING INTO US, DAD

THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY


THIS WEEKEND I AM HAVING A BREAK FROM MY BROTHER, MUM AND DAD

AND WENT CAMPING IN THE MICHELAGO FARM HOUSE, TO GET MEDALS

IN THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH AWARD SCHEME, YA SEE, MUM WAS WORKING

SO DAD TOOK ME SHOPPING TO GET LAST MINUTE SUPPLIES AND THE NEXT DAY

WE HEADED OFF TO MARIST TO BOARD THE TRUCK, AND PAUL GRAHAM

WHO I THOUGHT WAS A REAL COOL DUDE, SANG ALL THESE GREAT SONGS

LIKE EYE OF THE TIGER, COURT OF KING CARACTULOUS, AND MANY MORE

AND WE ARRIVED, AND THERE WERE NO BEDS, JUST HARD FLOORS, THIS ISN’T ACCOMODATION

THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE, WE COOLED BACON AND EGGS, BRAISED STEAK AND ONIONS

AND I ATE A SPACE FOOD STICK, AND JENNIFER JONES SAID, THAT IS MY SPACE FOOD

STICK, AND I SAID, NO THIS IS MINE, I IGNORED HER AND WENT TO TALK TO BRENDAN AND LANCE

CAUSE, THEY UNDERSTAND WOMENS PROBLEMS

YA SEE WE DID CANOEING AND HIKING WITH OUR BACKPACKS ON, AND ALSO, IN THE

MIDDLE OF A GREAT NICE COUNTRY DAY, THEN I CRACKED JOKES WITH SOME OF THE GIRLS THERE

AND STEVEN SANG EYE OF THE BULL FROG, AND I WONDERED, ALSO OTHER WEEKENDS, WE AS THE SENIOR MEMBERS

OF THE DUKE OF EDINBUIRGH, WE HAD TO LOOK AFTER THE JUNIOR MEMBERS OF THE AWARD SCHEME

AND THIS WAS A MORE COMFORTABLE SEATS, THIS WAS COMMUNITY SERVICE, WE ALSO DID MEALS ON WHEELS,

YA KNOW GIVING MEALS TO THE ELDERLY, WHO CAN NO LONGER FEND FOR THEMSELVES

THE MOST POPULAR PLACE WAS HALL VILLAGE,

AND I REMEMBER THE TEACHERS MAKING ME KISS RICHARD, BUT I WASN’T THINKING OF GAY ACTITIVTY

YA KNOW, JUST TEASING HIM, BUT I WAS SAYING, I AM AN ADULT, IN THIS SITUATION

YA SEE THE MANY BUSH WALKS AS A KID, GAVE ME A SENSE OF ADVENTURE

AND ALSO, GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO HELP PEOPLE IN ANY WAY THEY SEE FIT

IT GAVE ME THE FEELING OF DOING THINGS FOR MY FELLOW HUMANS

I HIKED UP THE SNOWY IN THONGS, I WENT TO WELLINGTON CAVES

YEAH, I AND MY TWO MATES, BRENDAN AND LANCE WERE LIVING DANGEROUSLY

BY NOT WEARING A LIFE JACKET, WE’LL PUT IT ON LATER WE WOULD SAY

BROTHER KEVIN BRENDAN, LANCE, WHY HASN’T BRIAN GOT A LIFE JACKET ON

YA KNOW THE FUCKEN RULES, AND WE ALL HAD A WOW OF A TIME

AND SANG SONGS ON THE WAY BACK, WHAT ABOUT ME, EYE OF THE TIGER

AND MANY MANY MORE, AND WHEN WE GOT BACK TO THE SCHOOL, ONE GUYS PARENTS

WEREN’T THERE, AND MY PARENTS OFFERED A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT

BUT HE DECLINED IT, IMPLYING, I DON’T WANT TO GO TO MY HOUSE

I IMPLIED, WHY NOT, YOU NEED SHELTER, I GOT SHELTER

HE SAID, WELL, NO, I WILL JUST WAIT, TILL THEY ARRIVE

SO I WENT HOME WITH MY PARENTS, DAD SAID THE RAIDERS WON, IT MADE ME HAPPY

AND I WENT HOME AND TOLD MY BROTHER AND DAD AND MUM ALL ABOUT

MY WONDERFUL DUKE OF EDINBURGH AWARD SCHEME EXPERIENCE, THIS IS COOL, MAN EAT MY SHORTS

AND THE ALLAN’S CRACKED JOKES, I SAID AND HE, MUM THOUGHT HE MEANT ANDY

BUT THERE WAS NO PHONE CALL, SO THE ALLAN’S ALL RETIRED TO THEIR ROOM

MUM AND I WENT TO BED, CAUSE IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND, BUT THE NEXT

DAY, I WAS PARADING AROUND THE SCHOOL,

THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY




YA SEE ME AND MY BROTHER WERE TEASING ONE ANOTHER AND OUR FIRST

FAMILY PET LADY GOES MISSING, AND SCHOOL KIDS SAID IT WAS WEE, BUT

IT COULD’VE BEEN PINEAPPLE JUICE, AND I STARTED UP A BOWLING LEAGUE

CAUSE I WAS GETTING SICK OF MY BROTHER BEING THE ONLY SPORTSMAN

IN THE FAMILY, SO I JOINED THE BOWLING AT THE BELCONNEN BOWL, MET

TWO NICE FRIENDS TRISTAN AND JASON LEE, I ENJOYED PLAYING WITH THEM

UNTILL A MATE GOT ME INTO HIS LEAGUE, WHERE, MY PROBLEM WITH MY BOWLING

STYLE AS A KID, I TURNED MY HAND, BUT I HAD FUN BOWLING, IT WAS GREAT

AND EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT WAS THIS BIG NIGHT, I MET CRAIG AND JODIE

WHO I DEVELOPED A CRUSH ON, BUT CRAIG SAID, SHUT UP FATTY, JODIE’S MINE

AND CRAIG AND JODIE WERE TEAMED UP WITH ME AND LYLE, YA SEE LYLE HAD POWER

AND GOT MORE STRIKES THAN ME, AND JODIE WAS A COOL, PRETTY SWEET GIRL

BUT CRAIG WANTED HER, BUT YA CAN’T BLAME A GUY FOR TRYING, AND THEN

CRAIG HAD A MATE NAMED BILL, WHO INTRODUCED TO ME AND LYLE, AND HIS KIDS

WERE SIMILAR TO BRAD, RANDY, AND MARK ON HOME IMPROVEMENT, AND I REMEMBER

WHEN I GOT A STRIKE, I CHEERED AND WHEN I MISSED I WENT OH DRATTA, AND

BILL’S KIDS, WERE PLAYING AROUND, WHILE BACK AT HOME, MY DAD, MUM AND BROTHER

WERE WATCHING THEIR TV PROGRAMS, AND AFTER I FINISHED, I PLAYED WITH

EVERY KID AT THE BOWLING ALLEY, SAYING I WILL CHASE YOU, AND THE KIDS SAID

RUN RUN AS FAST AS YA CAN, YOU CAN’T CATCH ME I AM THE GINGERBREAD MAN

AND I GRABBED ONE KID AND TOUCHED HIM INAPPRIOTELY ON THE MOUTH, AND

HE RAN TO BILL, AND BILL AND CRAIG TORE STRIPS OFF ME, I WAS SAYING

I AM A KID, JUST LIKE THEM, CRAIG SAID, SHUT UP FATTY, AND GO HOME

AND THEN I DID YMCA BASKETBALL, WITH MY BROTHER, AND HIS FRIEND

MY TEAMS WERE THE BLUE BLAZERS AND THE WANDERERS, AND EACH

TEAM WON A LOT, AND I SCARED A FEW KIDS, BUT I WAS NEVER THROWN OUT

OF THERE, I SHOWN UP THERE DRUNL ONE DAY, THE GAME WAS COOL

BUT ALL THE TOM FOOLERY, THAT WENT ON BEHIND THE SCENES

WAS WEIRD, I REMEMBER FRANK’S MATE ROBERT, HATED HOW I GRABBED HIM BY THE MOUTH

AND I WENT TO LYLE’S FLAT TO SLEEP, AFTERWARDS, TO WATCH TV

BUT I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON FOR SLEEPOVERS

I PREFER TO STAY AT MY HOME,

I WENT TO A LOT OF YOUNG DUDES HOMES

YA KNOW, JUST TO MUCK WITH THEM , YA KNOW GET ****** AND FUCKEN ****

MY FAMILY HAD A NEW NEIGHBOUR, THE CRABBY BUS DRIVER AND IN CAME DAVE SCHULTZ AND HIS WIFE

AND THREE KIDS, COREY, BRENDAN AND CANDICE, AND I SWUNG THEM AROUND

IN THE FRONT YARD, AND AS BRENDAN AND CANDICE CAME OVER ALL THE TIME

MUM AND DAD SAID, I DON’T WANT THESE KIDS COMING OVER ALL THE TIME

BUT THEY WERE TYPICAL PARENTS, AND ME AND PATRICK, WENT TO SEE JIMMY BARNES IN CONCERT

AND EACH NEW YEARS EVE, PAT WOULD HOST THIS GREAT NEW YEARS EVE BASH WITH US AND HIS FAMILY

SO I WAS A GREAT PERSON, BUT THERE ARE MORE GREAT STORIES FROM THE ALLAN FAMILY ARCHIVES

THE LIFE OF THE ALLAN’S IN WOODBERRY




YA SEE I WENT TO CHURCH, AND MY MUM USED TO BOUNCE ME AROUND

TO SAY, WE BOUNCED YOU ON OUR BACKS BACK THEN

MY BROTHER WAS A BOY, WHO WAS OUT TA HAVE FUN

YEAH I WASN’T ISOLATED, NO, I WASN’T OH NO, I USED TO CRACK JOKES

CAUSE WE ARE A TELEVISION LOVING FAMILY

YA SEE ME AND MY BROTHER BOTH HAD FONZIE JACKETS

AND I HAD AN IMAGINATION TO SAY FONZIE GOES INTO DISGUISE

MY BROTHER SAID FONZIE DOESN’T HAVE A DISGUISE

AND DAD SAID, THIS FONZIE DOES, BACK THEN

I WASN’T A FRIENDS BOY AS SUCH, BUT I ENJOYED LIFE THOUGH

I ALSO TOLD MY FAMILY THAT WITH MY RADIO, I WAS TALKING TO DALE BUGGINS

THE MOTORCYCLE STUNT MAN, AND MY BROTHER SAID, NO YOUR NOT


I SAID, I AM KENNY EVERETT, BUT MY BROTHER WANTED TO BE A MANS KID

BUT I HAD DREAMS TO BE FAMOUS, I THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING MUSIC IN MY DREAMS,

I WAS THE ROCKER JIMMY BARNES, AND THE JIMMY BARNES YOU SEE

IS THE FAMILY LOVING JIMMY BARNES, AND I DRANK A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH ON STAGE

I REMEMBER ALL THE TEASING THAT ME AND MY BROTHER DID TOGETHER

IN HINDSIGHT, JUST FUN TEASING, LIKE NORMAL KIDS DO

MY BROTHER WATCHED COWBOYS AND INDIANS

AND I WENT TO CHURCH WITH MY MUMMY, CAUSE I LIKED THE THEORY BEHIND RELIGION

BY KEEPING PEOPLE WITH THE HEAR AND NOW

BUT I GREW TO HATE RELIGION WITH PHEADPHILE PRIESTS,

AND IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THAT, DUDES, I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MY CRIME

YA KNOW I HATE TERRORIST ATTACKS AND STUPID CULTS SAYING GOD SAID THIS

AND MOHAMMAD SAID THAT, I WISH THE WORLD WOULD END RELIGION

BUDDHISM IS A RESPECTFUL RELIGION, I AM LEARNING, HOW TO RESPECT WITH VOICES OF DESTRUCTION

I WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD

AND EVERY TIME I WATCH YOUNG GUYS ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT

I SEE MY BROTHER IN THEM, MY BROTHERS TALENT, INSPIRED ME

TO BRING MY IMAGINATION OUT THERE, I AM NO WOOSEY

I KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER

I KNOW HOW TO WRITE A STORY

I REMEMBER MY BROTHER JOKING, SAYING MY BRAIN BEING CHOPPED OFF

WE WENT TO THE SHOW AND BOUGHT SHOW BAGS

WE WENT ON A LOT OF RIDES

AND WE ATE FAIRY FLOSS, OH YEAH

AND EATING DAGWOOD DOGS

OUR FAMILY WERE A HAPPY FAMILY GOING TO THE BEACH

WE HAD EARLY MORNING SWIMS

DAD AND BOUNCED ME AROUND ON THEIR BACKS

ME AND MY BROTHER TEASED ONE ANOTHER, IT WAS COOL

I WANTED TO WATCH MUSIC SHOWS ON TELEVISION

MY BROTHER WANTED TO WATCH BANABA SPLITS

SO MUM AND DAD BOTH PUT A TV IN OUR ROOMS

MY BROTHER WAS GIVEN A COOL KID CREDIT FROM THE COSMOS

TO PICK UP WAGGA TV, AND I DIDN’T, SO I WATCHED IT WITH MY BROTHER

MAYBE MY BROTHER DID EXACTLY WHAT THE COSMOS WANTED, AND I DIDN’T

I HASSLED MY DAD, AND MADE THE COSMOS VERY ANGRY WITH ME

WE WALKED AROUND PRINCES PARK IN CARLTON AND THE MCG

THE PEOPLE WERE NICER IN CARLTON RATHER THAN THE SNOBS AT THE MCG

AND WE WENT TO KIAMA, AND HAD A WOW OF A TIME THERE

AND WENT TO VISIT NANNY AND GRANNY IN NEWCASTLE AND MAITLAND

AND I SANG SONGS WITH MY COUSINS, REBECCA DAVID AND MICHEAL

WHICH TURNED THE ADULTS HEADS, IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

DAD AND SUE WERE TWO SCHOOL TEACHERS TALKING ABOUT HOW TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN TOGETHER

I WAS COOL, BUT I WANTED TO SIT UP AND WATCH TV

WITH THAT VOICE, GO TO BED BRIAN, EVEN ADULTS OR YOUNG DUDES GO TO BED

BUT I AM A PARTY DUDE WHO LOVES WATCHING TV, AND NOW YOUTUBE

SORRY, OK

I AM JUST WRITING STUFF OUT OF ME, IF YOU HAD VOICES LIUKE MINE

YOU’LL UNDERSTAND, YA SEE, I WAS TRYING TO POINT OUT
THAT, I WAS A BIT OF TEASER, LIKE THAT

I WAS HORRIBLE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I GOT FOUGHT FOR THIS
BUT I DO UNDERTAND, YOUR VIEWS, GAYS ARE NICE PEOPLE

I WAS BATTLING VOICES OF ME TEASING GAYS AS A KID

I AM SORRY, IF I OFFENDED ANYONE,
BUT I WAS POINTING OUT WHY I NEED MEDICATION

I AM NOT HOMERPHOBE, REALLY, I WAS SAYING

I WAS ONCE,

UMMMMMMM SORRY  UMMMMMMMMM SORRY UMMMMMMM SORRY

UMMMMMMM SORRY  UMMMMMMMMM SORRY  UMMMMMM SORRY

I AM JUST GETTING NEGATIVE VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

FOR CONVERSATION OK, COMPUTER

UMMMMMMMMM THE CHARLIE HEBDO MAGAZINE GETS TERRORIST ATTACKS


UMMMMMMMM IT KILLED 12 PEOPLE, AND THERE ARE INJURIES AS WELL


UMMMMMMM I PRAY TO BUDDHA TO BRING PEACE TO THEIR FAMILIES



UMMMMMMM  YOU SEE CALM THE BAD KARMA THAT IS SCATTERED AROUND




UMMMMMMM   THESE KILLERS NEED MEDICATION OH YEAH, TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND KILLING IS WRONG



UMMMMMMM I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY WOULDN’T EXCEPT THIS, NO



UMMMMMMM I THINK WE SHOULD LAY FLOWERS OUTSIDE THIS PLACE


AND LIGHT CANDLES TO SAY, REST IN PEACE


UMMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE  UMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE  UMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE


UMMMMMMM  WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER, AND HELP THESE FAMILY’S OUT


UMMMMMMM THEY WERE JUST GOING ABOUT THEIR WORK, YA SEE




UMMMMMMMM A CHANCE TO MAKE MONEY AND GO ON BIG HOLIDAYS



UMMMMMMM BUT THESE TERRORISTS, CAME AND TOOK IT AWAY


UMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE  UMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE  UMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE


UMMMMMMMM  WE NEED TO HELP THESE FAMILIES, THEY LOST THEIR LOVED ONES


UMMMMMMMM   JUST FOR DOING THEIR JOBS


UMMMMMMMM AND GIVE THESE FAMILIES ANYTHING THAT CAN MAKE THEM SUFFER LESS


UMMMMMMMMM LIKE SUPPORT IN FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS, SO THEY CAN GREAVE WITHOUT WORRIES



UMMMMMMMM   IT’S TERRIBLE, UMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE   UMMMMMMM IT’S TERRIBLE



UMMMMMMMM   HELP VICTIMS FAMILY, HELP, IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE

UMMMMMMMM   THIS WAS A TERRIBLE DAY IN PARIS

I HATE WHEN KOOMARRIS CUDDLE UP TO ME, CUDDLE UP TO ME CUDDLE UP TO ME

I ESPECIALLY HATE KOOMARRI MEN CUDDLING UP TO ME

SO I TOLD HIM I WAS STRAIGHT, AND HE TOOK OFFENSE

PLEASE KOOMARRI MEN, ******* IIF YA WANT ME TO CUDDLE

WANT ME TO CUDDLE WANT ME TO CUDDLE

PLEASE ******* KOOMARRI MEN IF YA WANT ME TO CUDDLE

I AM NOT GAY, AND IF YOU TAKE OFFENSE, WELL GOOD,

YOU’LL LEARN YA LESSON

I AM A STRAIGHT MAN WHO LOVES TO HAVE WILD PARTIES

I AM NO GAY, I AM NO SQUARE

I LOVE WILD PARTIES OUT, CAUSE, HOME PARTIES CREATE ****

AND I AM NOT GAY, SO ******* KOOMARRI MAN

I HATE KOOMARRI MEN CUDDLING ME, CUDDLING ME CUDDLING ME

I HATE KOOMARRI MEN CUDDLING ME, IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

AND IT MAKES YOU LOOK SO GAY, LIKE A ****

YOU ARE A ****, YOU ARE A ****

I SAY THIS WORD TO PROVE A POINT

DON’T EVER CUDDLE BRIAN ALLAN, IF YOUR A MAN, CAUSE I AM, NOT GAY

IF YA TAKE OFFENSE, GOOD, YOU’LL NEVER BE CUT OUT TO EVER BE LIKE ME

A COOL MAN, WHO HATES, ****** ACTIVITY, WITH SAME ***, IT’S MY PEROGATIVE, DUDE

I HATE ANYTHING GAY, SO *******

YA SEE DUDES I AM WANTING TO COME OUT OF MY SHELL

I DFON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE DAD

AND BE GIVEN A CULE KID, I WANT TO

TAKE MY ART WRITING, AND ENTERTAINING SKILLS

OFF MY BED AND INTO THE WORLD

I HATE MY MATES TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY

I WAS SHY, TO TELL THE WORLD,

BUT I WAS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT TO BRANH OUT

MY MATE PAT WAS NICE TO ME, I WAS AWFUL TO HIM

THE ONLY PART OF ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WANNA ****

IS MY EVIL, I AM STILL DOING WHAT I USED TO DO

LIKE PLAYING SHOWS, I JUST AM ON AAA YOUTUBE TV AND AARON CLAYTON

I WAS SHY, I WAS SHY, BUT I WAS EXPERIMENTING OF TRYING TO

MAKE MY TRAINING SCHEME WORK BETTER THAN COCKY EXPEMNSIVE ACTING SCHOOLS

I AM GLAD WE HAVE GOT FUNDING FOR THE PLAY THIS YEAR

IT GIVES ME THE CHANCE TO COME OUT OF MY HOOLIGAN SHELL

AND MAKES ME THE LITTLE YOUNG DUDE, WHO WANTS TO BE FAMOUS, YA SEE

I WAS SHY, I WAS VERY SHY, TO TALK TO PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW

BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE OF MY LAST 2 LIVES BEING KIDNAPPED AT AGE 8

I DON’T WANT TO BE SCARED TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE

BUT A NICE, PERSON I AM, I KNOW WHEN I WAS WITH MY MATE PAT

I WAS SAYING I WAS A HOOLIGAN, AND I SAT WITH PAT LISTENING TO HEAVY METAL MUSIC

AND I GOT INTO IT, AND PAT PLAYED THE AIR GUITAR

SAYING, I WAS REALLY REALLY COOL

I GOT A BIT INTIMIDATED OF PAT, CAUSE ****** HIS LIFE

HE WANTED TO GROW UP AND HAVE TIME TO DO HOUSEWORK

NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, IN HINDSIGHT

I DITCHED HIM TO BE WITH THE PARTY DUDES DOWN THE CLUB

I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY

ALL KIDS GO THROUGH KISSING BOYS STAGES

OK I KISSED DAVID TURNER, BUT I AIN’T HAVING ***, WITH GUYS, THAT’S DISCUSTING, MAN

A MAN HAVING *** WITH A MAN TO ME IS REPULSIVE AND REVOLTING

MY ADVICE TO KIDS, DON’T KISS THE SAME ***, UNLESS YA WANTED TO

DON’T **** A GUYS ****, UNLESS YA WANT TO

I KISSED DAVID TURNER I ****** DANIEL’S ****

I WAS SCARED, I AM NOT GAY, I HATE THE THOUGHT OF BEING GAY

I ADMIT I MIGHT BE A HOMOPHOBE, BECAUSE, MEN HAVING *** IS WRONG, I THINK

PAT WAS NICE, HE TOOK TO ME NEW YEARS RAVES AT THE CLUB

JIMMY BARNES CONCERT, AND TO HAPPY DAYS AMUSEMENTS

AND TO FOOTY MATCHES, WE CHEERED RAIDERS **** **** ****

EVEN THOUGH THE RAIDERS WERE GOOD BACK THEN, THEY ****, NOW

AND I WAS A TAD WILDER THAN MY MATE PATRICK

BUT I AM INTIMDATED, AT THE THOUGHT OF PEOPLE SAYING I AM GAY

I NOW, AM NOT SCARED TO SAY, I HATE GAYS

I PREFER TO BE A HOMOPHOBE THAN A RACIST

CAUSE BLACKS ARE JUST LIKE US, GAYS ARE UNNATURAL, DUDE

I CAN’T HELP HOW I FEEL, I AM NOT ******* ***** NO MORE, YA CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST

I AM NOT KISSING BOYS OR MEN, YA CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST

I AM NO KIDNAPPER OR PHEDAPHILE EITHER, YA CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST

I WOULD LIKE BE YOUNG ALL MY LIFE, YA CAN’T CHANGE ME FELLA

YA CAN’T GET ME ****** IN TO RELIGIOUS CULTS FELLA, IM AM A VERY PEACEFUL BUDDHIST

GAYS ARE UNNATURAL, KIDNAPPERS AND PHEADPHILES ARE STUPID

PLEASE  TREAT ME LIKE A MAN WITH SCHITZOPRENIA

CAUSE

1 2 3 4 DO THE SCHITZOPHRENIC, FROM  THE FIRST DIAGNOSIS TO MY CURRENT SIUATION

WITH MEDICATION I AM REFORMED, GAYS ARE UNNATURAL, DON’T *** ME UP MEN NEVER

I AM HEARING PEOPLE SAY TO ME HELLO ****, ANOTHER MAN CALLED ME ****

HE MUST BE GAY, BUT I AIN’T GAY, SO  LEAVE ME ALONE YA ****

I AM NOT ****** INTO YOUR HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIUOR, I AM A TAD HOMOPHOBIC

DON’T CALL ME ****, EVEN JUST TO TEASE I AM STRAIGHT AS A KNIFE
PATRICK ISN'T GAY, HE WAS MY BEST MATE

JANUARY, THE TIME OF YEARS OF ASH, BASH THE BALL, AND NET COURTS






YA SEE EVERY TIME JANUARY COMES,, WE GET MIXED MESSAGES

THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BASHING PEOPLE UP

AND THERE IS ALWAYS A LOT OF ASH WHERE BUSHFIRES MUST BE

YA SEE BUSHFIRES ARE ALWAYS IN JANUARY, BECAUSE IT’S SO ****** **** HOT

AND THE CRICKET, WELL THE AUSSIES ARE WINNING

AND INDIA, ARE DEFINATELY NOT

YA SEE MEN HAVE THEIR BEERS IN THE ESKY, OH ****** BETCHA DO

AND LLEYTON HEWIT LOST YESTERDAY, BOO HOO BOO HOO BOO HOO

I DID A RAIN DANCE, WHICH BROUGHT A THUNDERSTORM TO ADELAIDE

I HOPE, A LOT OF YOU DUDES, THINK OF HOLDING COOL STUFF

TO RAISE THE AMOUNT OF MONEY NEEDED

YA SEE, I AM WILLING TO ATTEND ANY EVENT NEAR ME, AND GIVE DONATIONS

OH YEAH, THAT IS SO COOL

YOU SEE, DUDES, I WAS YOUR SAVIOUR, CRONUS DID IT AGAIN

FORCED, THE FIRE TO GET UNDER CONTROL

THANKS FOR MY LITTLE RAIN DANCE


UMMMMMMMM IT WILL RAIN UMMMMMM IT DID RAIN, UMMMMMM I AM GLAD MY COSMOS OPLAN WORKED

UMMMMMMM THEY NEED $13,000,000, PLEASE DONATE UMMMMMM PLEASE DONATE

OR HOLD VARIOUS SOCIAL GATHERINGS IN YOUR AREA, PLEASE GIVE GENENEROUSLY

I HELPED A POOR MAN WHO WAS SLEEPING ON THE CEMENT IN THE CANBERRA CBD

ASND HE WAS ASLEEP, SO I THREW $2 HIS WAY, FOR A DRINK OR FRUIT OR WHATEVER HE WANTED

I WANT TO BUILD A HOMELESS HOTEL, I CAN’T HELP IT, I FEEL SORRY FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM

I GIVE MONEY, WHEN I CAN I STRESS WHEN I CAN, TO POOR PEOPLE

SO THEY CAN HAVE A LIFE TOO, BUT I STRESS, WHEN I CAN, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN EAST TARGET

WE ALWAYS HAVE BUSH FIRES IN JANURAY, I AM GLAD I DID THAT RAIN DANCE TO HELP

NOW, I KNOW, THERE MIGHT BE TROUBLES, BUT MY MATE STEVE SAID TO ME, **** HAPPENS

I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY

I AM CRONUS, BUT I AM HUMAN, I CAN’T SAVE EVERYONE RELIGIOUSLY, BUT YA CAN ****** WELL TRY

CAUSE HELPING PEOPLE, HELPS THE FUTURE GET BRIGHT, YOU HAVE TO WEAR SHADES

I STUDIED MESSIAH SCIENCE, AND I LIKED THOSE CLASSES

I WAS A BIG FAT MAN WHO WORE GLASSES

WE WATCHED NEWS, BUT ONLY WIN

AND STAND UP COMEDY, AND BECKER AND FOOTY AND HEAPS OF OTHER COOL THINGS

HE TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT BEING TREATED LIKE A PERSON

AND I COOKED DINNER, LIKE A PERSON

YA SEE I STUDIED MESSIAH SCIENCE, I LOVED THOSE CLASSES

I KNOW FROM THAT, I LEARNT HOW TO REALLY HELP THE POOR, AND UNDERSTAND

THEY NEED MORE C ARE, OH DEARY ME, WHAT AN ACTORS LIFE FOR ME

I WILL BRING THE NEW YEAR TIGER INTO TELEVISION

HE’S ON AAA YOUTUBE TV AND AARON CLAYTON

YEAH. AUSTRALIA LOOKS SET TO WIN CRICKET, TENNIS IS NOT AS PROMISING FOR THE AUSSIES

AND I DID A BUDDHIST RAIN DANCE, TO CALM THE SA BUSHFIRES

I AM RADICALLY AWESOME, DUDES

HE RAIN HAS COME, I BROUGHT IT ON, IT WAS COOL, YEAH THERE ARE PROBLEMS

WASN’T AS I INTENDED, BUT I THINK IT PUT IT OUT

THE RAIN, THE RAIN UMMMMMMM UMMMMMMM UMMMMMM

AND JOHNNY BROWN SANG THIS SONG

I WAS A LITTLE WANDERER, WALKING THROUGH ADELAIDE HILLS

I WAS DOING THIS CAUSE I LOVE BUSH WALKING, YEAH THAT IS SO COOL

I WAS WALKING WITH MY BROTHER MIKE AND HIS BEST MATE TOM

AND WE BOUGHT OUR NEW AGE BILLY’S WITH US

TO REALLY COOK UP A STORM, WE BOUGHT OUT MOBILE PHONES, DUDES

BUT WE MIGHT LOSE COVERAGE, DUDES

BUT WE CONTINUED TO WALK THROUGH THE BUSH

TRYING TO SPOT SOME KANGAROOS, THERE IS 1, AND THERE IS 2

3 FOR THE BIG GIANT, PANDA AT ADELAIDE ZOO

THEN WE REACHED IN OUR BACKPACKS, TO GRAB SOME SURVIVAL FOOD

AND WE ATE IT ALL UP, LIKE A PACK OF HUNGRY DUDES

YA SEE, I TOOK A FABULOUS PHOTO, OF THE GREAT VIEW OF THE GLENELG BEACH

AND THEN A SUDDEN FIRE BROKE OUT, OUR STUFF, WAS OUT OF REACH

THEN, I RAN WITH MY BESTIE FOLLOWING

AND THEN I SAW SOME ABORIGINES, DOINBG A GREAT CORROBORREE

THEN, WE RAN DOWN THE ADELAIDE HILLS, AS FAST AS WE ****** WELL CAN

WE ALL LOOKED LIKE SOME OLD BATTERED UP MEN

I GOT MY BOTTLE OF WHISKY OUT AND STARTED TO DRINK FOR ENERGY

BUT THEN THE FIRE, WAS GAINING ON THESE MEN, WHAT A CATASTROPHIE

PARTY PARTY PARTY,, WE WERE THINKING AS WE RUN DOWN THE HILL

AND OVER TO HAHNDORF, TO SINK IN A ****** BREW

AND WHILST DOING THAT THE FIRE WAS FIERCE

BUT WE SHOULDN’T WORRY NO MORE

WE WERE SAFE IN OUR USUAL PLACE, IN A HAHNDORF PUB BY THE DOOR

BRIAN, YOU ARE STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY




YOU SEE MY DAD CLOSED THE DOOR SAYING

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE TEASING, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY

AND WENT BACK IN AND I FOLLOWED DAD AND HE SAID

ARE YOU GETTING TEASED, BRIAN , AND I SAID, I AM TEASING YOU

CAUSE DAD, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YA NOT LIKE US

I AM A YOUNG DUDE, AND YOU ARE A GRUMPY OLD ****

AND DAD SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM, AND I SAID NEH, I AM STILL COOL, BUDDY

DAD SAID, COOL, WHY DO YA WANT TO BE COOL FOR, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY

OR A SHY YOUNG DUDE, AND I SAID, YOU ARE FUCKEN SHY, DAD

AND DAD GOT UP AND SAID, GO TO YOUR BLINKEN ROOM YA LITTLE SHY BOY

AND IF WE HAD LOCKS, I WILL LOCK YOU IN, I SAID WHEN YOU DIE

YOU ARE LEARNING ABOUT HOW KIDS OF TODAY ACT

DAD SAID SHUT UP, YOUR STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY

AND RAN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM SAYING, I AM STILL NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE DAD

AND DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM YA FOOL, YA FOOL

I SAID, HIT ME HERE IN THE FACE DADDY, AND HE SAID OK AND HIT ME SQUARE IN THE FACE

AND TRIED TO RUN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS SEAT

SAYING, I WANT TO BE COOL, AND HE SAID COOL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR

GO AWAY FOOL, DAD, SAID, AND I STUCK MY FINGER UP AT DAD, AND HE SAID

DON;T GIVE ME THOSE RITCHARD HAND SIGNALS YA FOOL YOU FLAMING FOOL

AND I SHOWED DAD MY FINGER 199 TIMES, MY BROTHER DEFENDED DAD LIKE A MANS KID WOULD

AND I STARTED A BG ARGUMENT WITH DAD SAYING, I WAS TOO COOL FOR THIS FAMILY

HE SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, GO FOR A WALK, YA NEED TO LET OFF STEAM

I SAID, NEH, I  WANT TO HAVE MY SAY, DAD YOU NEED TO LIGHTEN UP

DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM, FOOL, GO TO YOUR ROOM, YA FOOL

AND I SAID, ******* AWAY FROM US YOUNG DUDES, BUDDY, YOU ARE AN OLD FUCKEN KODGER

DAD SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, AND WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO WIPE UP

AND I REMEMBER FOLLOWING HIM, SAYING, LISTEN TO ME, DAD I AM NOT YOUR FAVOURITE SON AM IT

HE SAID, NO, NOT IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THIS YOUR NOT, YOUR A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY

I SAID, DAD I WANT TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK, DAD SAID WHERE’S THE KNIFE

THE BIG THING WAS, WHERE’S THE KNIFE, I DIDN’T WANT TO **** DAD, HE’S FAMILY

I WAS REALLY TEASING LIKE THE COOL YOUNG DUDES DID IN THE 1980s

WHEN DAD FINISHED THAT HE RAN STRAIGHT TO HIS CHAIR

AND I FOLLOWED HIM, SAYING, YOU ARE A STUPID FATHER

HE SAID, GO AWAY FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, LEAVE ME ALONE BRIAN, I’M A FAMILY MAN

I SAID, I HAVE COOL MATES, I DON’T NEED YOU TO SAY, YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN EVERY DAY

THEN I SAID I AM COOL, DAD, DAD SAID, COOL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR

WELL, NOW DAD IS DEAD, I GOT MY CHANCE TO TELL DAD THAT I WAS BEING A KID

AND NOW IT’S DAD’S TURN TO BE ONE OF DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL’S TWINS

PAIRED WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS, THEY ARE JUST LIKE EACH OTHER

DAD, IS SOON TO BE JIMMY BARNES’S  GRANDCHILD WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS

TO JOIN OLGA CHICK

HAPPY NEXT LIFE, DAD

AND LET US DUDES BURN YA OLDIE OFF WITH METHANE, TO IMPROVE YOUR NEXT EARTH BODY

BOBYE BLINKEN DAD, YA FOOL, I AM ONLY JOKING, HA HA HA HA

MMMMMMMMM WE NEED MONEY FOR THE ADELAIDE FIRES, UMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMM


    UMMMMMMMMM WE NEED CASH DONATIONS FOR ADELAIDE FIRES UMMMMMMM UMMMMMM


   UMMMMMMMMM WE NEED YO, YO HELP THE PEOPLE WHO LOST STUFF UMMMMM UMMMMM



UMMMMMMMM COME ON WORLD GIVE CASH TO OUR VICTIMS OF THE FIRES YEAH, UMMMMMMMM


UMMMMMMMM WE NEED TO HOLD BBQ DAYS RUN BY VOLUNTEERS TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE VICTIMS OF FIRE UMMMMMMMM



UMMMMMMM WE NEED RUN SOCIAL GET TOGETHERS, WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO THE SA FIRES OH YEAH UMMMMMMMM


UMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN UMMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN UMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN UMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN

UMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN  UMMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN, BRING ON A BIG HEALTHY THUNDERSTORM

THIS AFTERNOON, TO UMMMMMMM PUT THE FIRE OUT ONCE AND FOR UMMMMMM AND HOLD

BENEFIT CONCERTS ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA’S HONOUR


UMMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN  UMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN UMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN

UMMMMMM COME ON STORM UMMMMMMMM PUT OUT THE BLAZE, UMMMMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN THIS AFTERNOON IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA

UMMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN, UMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN

UMMMMMM THEY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL, UMMMMMM  BUDDHA PUT IT OUT, UMMMMM THEY NEED RAIN

THIS MUSIC HEALS THE WORLD

LIKE THERE ARE PEOPLE STABBING ONE ANOTHER

THAT IS SO ****** WRONG

THERE ARE PEOPLE BUYING GUNS TO TORTURE CAFES

THERE ARE PROBLEMS PEOPLE HAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN THE MALL

THERE ARE SO MANY SCHOOLS BEING RAMRAIDED AND KIDS LOSING
THEIR LIVES

HEAL THE WORLD, MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE

WE DON'T WANT FACTORIES GETTING BURNT

OR PEOPLE FIGHTING IN BARS, OR GOING INTO CAFES

OR BLASTED, TERRORIST ATTACKS, NO ASSONISTS

HEAL THE WORLD BETTER FOR YOU AND FOR ME

TO MEND EACJ BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS

OH YEAH I WANT PEOPLE TO RESPECT AS BUDDHA TELLS YA

YA SEE, PEOPLE BLAME THE PROBLEMS ON RELIGION

BUT BUDDHISM ISN'T A RELIGION, IT'S A WAY OF SAYING

MEND OUR BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS TO MEND EACH BLADE OF GRASS

TOO MANY WRONGDOERS

PEOPLE KILLING INNOCENT CHILDREN, CAUSE THEY HAVE ***
AND CAN'T CONTROL THEM, SO THEY **** THEM

THAT IS SO WRONG,

HEAL THE WORLD, PLEASE BUDDHA, MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE
FOR EARTH AND THE COSMIC WORLD, YEAH THE ENTIRE

HUMAN RACE, DEAD OR ALIVE

PEOPLE DIE, BUT THEY DON'T END THEIR LIFE

THE SUFFERING HAS LEFT THEIR BODY, MAN FOR ME AND FOR YOU

UMMMMMM   STOP PEOPLE TORTURING FACTORIES

UMMMMMM STOP PEOPLE GETTING ******* WITH PEOPLE BY STABBING EACH OTHER




UMMMMMMMM  HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND PEACE NOT WAR IN ANY RELIGION

UMMMMMMMM SEND RAIN TO ANY FIRE IN EACH CONTINENT ON EARTH

UMMMMMMM   LET PEOPLE UNDERSTAND BEING NICE CAN COME AT A PRICE
CAUSE UNFORTUNATELY NICE COMES AT A PRICE OF LOSING LOVED ONES

HERE'S TO YOU MR BARRY ALLAN, YOU WERE A GOOD FATHER
SO CRONUS WHO IS ME, MADE JIMMY BARNES YOUR GRANDFATHER
UMMMMMMM TAKE DADS OLD FOGIE OFF THE STREETS, UNLESS, IT IS
THE NICE LOVING OLD FOGIE THAT DAD WAS

CAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS

HEAL THE WORLD, MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE
FOR YOU AND ME AND THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE
DON'T WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE TEASING
JUST TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, BUDDY
HEAL THE WORLD FOR YOU AND FOR ME

BRIGHT EYES, BURNING LIKE FIRE
WAS A SCHOOL CHUMS FAVE SONG, GIVES ME MEMORIES OF SCHOOL
I TEASED PETER MACLACHLAN CAUSE HE LISTENED TO THE
TEACHERS SAYING HIT SECONG
HITTING SECOND CAN GET YOU INTO HOT WATER
I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT
BUT HE LIKED THE SONG BRIGHT EYES, NOTHING WRONG
THAT'S WHY I KNOW I AM GREAME THORNE AND PATRICK DUNBAR
BOTH KILLED AT 8, I ALWAYS KNEW THAT I HAD TO BE CAREFUL
BUT TEASING PETER MACLACHLAN ABOUT LISTENING TO TEACHERS
WAS FUN, BUT HE LIKED BRIGHT EYES, I LIKE THAT SONG TOO
BUT HE WAS A REAL REAL GEEK

I AM A COMPUTER GEEK, THAT IS MY ONLY GEEK
I AM AN ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

I BELIEVE IN BUDDHISM AND REINCARNATION

HEAL THE WORLD STOP ALL THE VIOLENCE YEAH
AND MAKE EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY SOUL
HEAL THE WORLD
UNLEASH THE PEACE
GET RID OF RIGHT WING GOVERNMENTS WHO INFLICT VIOLENCE
WITHOUT KNOWING,
MAKE THE EARTH A PEACEFUL PLACE FOR YOU AND FOR ME

I DON'T WANNA END UP IN A GRAVE,
I WANNA BE A MAN WHO VERY SELDOM SHAVES

GO WITH THAT WORLD

UMMMMMMMM     WE NEED TO GIVE SPIRIT TO PUT THE FIRES OUT


UMMMMMMMM WE DON’T ANY POOR SOUTH AUSTRALIANS TO LOSE THEIR OWN LIVES


UMMMMMMMM WE WANT PEOPLE TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS, AND EVACULATE WHEN NEEDS BE



UMMMMMMMM WE WANT TO HELP ANYONE WHO COULD LOSE THEIR PROPERTIES


UMMMMMMMM WE MUST MAKE SURE ANIMALS IN THE ADELAIDE HILLS ARE SAFE



UMMMMMMMM AND IF WE LOSE THESE ANIMALS WE MUST CHANT SAY, REST IN PEACE, OFF TO NEXT LIFE TO END SUFFERING



UMMMMMMM  LET OUR SPIRIT GIVE FIREMEN POWER, TO REALLY FIGHT FIRE DOWN

UMMMMMMM IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA, WE WERE BORN, COME ON DUDES WHY DON’T YA SAY


UMMMMMM   WE MUST USE OUR POWERS FOR GOOD TO GET WATER AND PUT THE FIRE OUT

UMMMMMM   AND LET OUR SPIRIT OF COSMIC POWER, TO CREATE RAIN FOR SOUTH AUSTRALIA



UMMMMMMM COME ON RAIN, UMMMMMM COME ON RAIN, UMMMMMM COME ON RAIN



UMMMMMMM PUT THESE FIRES OUT FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

MY VIEW OF ANIMAL CIRCUSES



YA SEE I AM IN FAVOUR OF ANIMAL CIRCUSES

CAUSE IF THE ANIMAL IS TREATED OK, I AM FINE WITH IT

THESE WEIRD ANIMAL LIBERATIONISTS, NEED TO BE TAUGHT

HOW TO HAVE FUN, CAUSE, IN ZOOS THE ANIMALS ARE IN CAGES

AND IN HORSE RACING ANIMALS ARE IN CAGES

AND AS LONG AS THERE ISN’T ANY HUMAN DOING HARM TO ANIMALS IN CAGES

WE SHOULD ALLOW IT IN CANBERRA

CAUSE IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE AS ALBERT TOPSY WAKDRON, I TAMED A LION

ANDI WORE A SKIRT, YEAH A MAN WEARING A SKIRT

NOWADAYS PEOPLE ARE TOO SCARED TO PLAY DRESSUPS

BECAUSE, THEY ARE TOO WORRIED ABOUT PEOPLE WHO TEASE

TEASE ME, TEASING NOTHING, BUT I LIKE PLAYING DRESSUPS FOR YOUTUBE YA SEE

I REMEMBER DRESSING UP IN A SKIRT TAMING A LION

THAT IS FUN, AND ANIMAL LIBERATIONISTS NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT

NOT EVERYONE WHO LIKES ANIMAL CIRCUSES ARE BAD PEOPLE

THEY DO CARE, THEY DO CARE THEY DO CARE

I DRESS UP AS A GIRL AND YEAH, I WHIP THEM LIKE YOU WHIP HORSES

I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT IT’S A TAD HYPOCRITICAL

CAUSE I NEVER WHIPPED A LION, I TAMED A LION AS TOPSY WALDRON IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE

I AM AN OLD TIMER TO THESE ANIMAL LIBERATIONISTS

CAUSE, I NEVER LET THE WHIP HIT THE ANIMAL

I AGREE WITH ANIMAL CIRCUSES, CAUSE THEY DON’T HARM THE ANIMALS

CALL ME A BIG GIRL, BUT I WANNA BRING BACK MY TOPSY, WALDRON CHARACTER

TO SHOW I AM IN FAVOUR OF ANIMAL ENTERTAINMENT

LIKE SOME ANIMALS COULD BE OLD TIME ENTERTAINERS

CHARLIE CHAPLIN IS PROBABLY NOW AN ANIMAL

I AM A BUDDHIST ENTERTAINER WRITER AND ARTIST, WITH A LOVE FOR YOUTUBE

AND A LOVE FOR CLEANCUT ANIMAL ENTERTAINMENT

THINK OF PREVIOUS LIVES, YOUTUBE CLEARLY STATES

THAT SOME ANIMALS LIKE THE ATTENTION THEY GET

MY LION I TAMED, I KNOW HE DID

YOU SEE LAST NIGHT I WENT UP TO SPACE

TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER DAD

TO GET RID OF HIS IKD FOGIE, MAN

AND I SAW MY OLD SCHOOL MATES

WHO DECIDED TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER ME

TO GET RID OF MY JITTERING OLD FOGIE

MY MATES SAID, IF YA LIKE YOUTUBE BRIAN

GO ON YOUTUBE, NO SKIN OFF MY MY NOSE

JUST DON’T FIGHT YA HEAD, DUDE

I KNOW IT;S FUN TO TOSS METHANE ALL OVER DAD TO IMPROVE HIS NEXT LIFE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF YOUR SHY YOUNG DUDE, BRIAN

ESPECIALLY IS YA LOVE YOUTUBE, AND YOU WANNA HAVE SOME FUN

YA NEED TO GET RID OF THAT ALIEN THAT IS CAPTURING YOUR FEET

YOU SEE MY MATES ARE SITTING IN THEIR CHAIRS

THINKING THEYVHAVE THE PERFECT JOB

THEY WANT TO AVOID BEING LIKE DAD, THEIR WEIRD

I HATE THESE MATES, THEY ARE ****** HOOLIGANS

I LIKE THEIR FANILY PERSON, BUT MY COOL KID DOESN’T LIKE THEIR SHY YOUNG DUDE

THERE ARE VOICES SAYING YOUR FATHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE ANYMORE, BRIAN

OR YOUR BROTHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE BRIAN

I SAY TO THEM, DUDES, I AM STILL AROUND, I AM COOL MAN

YA SEE, SOMETIMES I AM FIGHTING MY DEMONS

LIKE BY SAYING, I  WANT TO BEAT THIS YOUR STILL A YOUNG DUDE VOICE

BUT I CAN’T STAND GETTING HASSLED, I SAY TO MY OLD MATES WHEN THEY SAY

I DON’T WANT TO BE COOL, I SAY, WELL, DON’T BE COOL, SIT THERE BEING MY DADDY

CAUSE THAT IS MY LITTLE GAME, TO TAKE YOUR HOOLIGAN AWAY

AND PUT YOUR LITTLE COOL KID TO A TEASE BACK INTO YA

AND WHEN I SAY ANYTHING TO YA, YOU WILL SAY, I LIKE GOING TO BED WITH YA

YOU ARE A **** CHICK BRIAN, THIS OLD GUY SAYS

IM TELL HIM, THAT HE IS STUPID, BUT HE REFUSES TO LISTEN

CAUSE HE WANTS TO HASSLE OR TEASE ME, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS

I AM DOING MY TAPESTRY, WHILE YOU ARE SITTING THERE SMILING AT ME, LIKE A LITTLE TEASING KID DOES

YOU ARE TELLING ME, I WAS TOO SHY TO BE LIKE US, BUDDY

CAUSE, I WANT YOU TO TRY AND BE LIKE ME NOW, BRIANY

YOUR NOW, MY LITTLE BRIANY, YOUR DADS DEAD, YOUR NOT YA FAMILY’S LITTLE BRIANY NO MORE, YOUR MINE, ALL MINE

YOU SEE HE WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN, LIKE THE LITTLE TINY COOL KID, THAT HE IS

I AM A PERSON, WHO ENJOYS LIFE, I WANT YOU TO DO A LITTLE DANCE FOR US, PATTY

CAUSE, YOU PAT, ARE A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FANILY PERSON, WHO WANTS TO P A R T Y DUDES

YA SEE EVERY TIME  I ACT COOL, LIKE ACTING COOL, SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

MY MATE JUMPS INTO BED WITH ME, LIKE HE WAS GAY OR SOMETHING

CAUSE HE IS A GAY *******, I CAN’T STAND GAY MOTHER *******

TREATING ME LIKE A CHICK, I WAS BORN A GUY, THIS MATE, IS A HORRIBLE OLD FOGIE’S KID

AND HE IS AN OLD FOGIE’S KID AS WELL AS A DADDY’S BOY, BUT I LIKED HIM FOR THAT

HE SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT THAT, I KNOW I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG

AND I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES

I AM A COOL KID WHE I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH

BUT PATS TIPS 24 KEGS OF METHANE ON ME, SAYI NG WE;RE TRYING TO RID YOUR OLD FOGIE

CAUSE HE AIN’T A DADDY’S BOY

BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A DADDY’S BOY, CAUSE HIS DAD WAS LAZY

MY DAD ON ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS A WALKER, AND A SWIMMER, AND A VERY SOCIAL PERSON

I WALK FOR THE SAME REASON DAD DID, TO KEEP MYSELF REGULAR AND FIT

I CAN UNDERSTAND MY MATE DOESN’T WANNA BE LIKE HIS DAD, HE IS LAZY

MY DAD WOULD HELP A LOT OF KIDS, AND ALSO DIGS THE WEEDS UP BETWEEN THE CRACKS

AND I KNOW, I AM NOT AS MOTIVATED AS HIM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE LAZY

I LIKE DOING THINGS CREATIVE, CAUSE MY MATE, IS A JEALOUS OLD ****

YA SEE, I KNOW HOW TO GET THE VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

BY MAKING THIS VOICE JITTER, I HATE THIS MATE

CAUSE I THOUGHT, THAT CANBERRA UNDERSTOOD I LIKE EXERCISING MY CREATIVE DUTY OF THIS EARTH

AND THAT IS WHAT I AM ABOUT

I AM HEARING MY RIBBER IN MY HEAD, SHOWING ME, THAT I WAS WRONG





YA SEE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS LOCKED IN A SCHOOL CLOSET

AND I SAID, TO MYSELF, I WANT TO GRAB KIDS ON THE MOUTHS

AND MAKE THEM SCREAM, YA SEE I GRABBED DAVID ON THE MOUTH

AND HE WAS A COOL KID TO ME, BUT I HATED BEING LOCKED IN THAT ROOM

SO I TOOK REVENGE ON THE SCHOOL, BUT MICHEAL WAS TOO STRONG

BUT I MANAGED TO GET A WRESTLE IN, WITH HIM

YA SEE I WITNESSED CAMERON BEING *******

AND I HEARD THAT BOY IS NOW DEAD, BUT HE TRAPPED ME

IN MY HOUSE, SO CAMERON CAN PLAY

I HAD FUN PUTTING MY HAND AROUND DAVIDS MOUTH

AS WELL AS ATTEMPTING TO GRAB GARY BAKER BY THE MOUTH

AND I ALSO FANTASIZED GRABBING A BULLY MARK, WARD

BUT I DECIDED AGAINST THAT, CAUSE HE WOULD BULLY ME WORST THAN MICHEAL

AND I TOOK REVENGE ON THE MALL CROWD, BY BEING THE COME HERE GRABBER AT THE MALL

BUT I GRABBED ‘EM AND LET THEM GO

LIKE THAT KID, I TIED HIM UP, AND LET HIM GO

I AM WRITING, THIS CAUSE I AM A WRITER, ARTIST AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

ALL THIS WAS BECAUSE I WAS KLOCKED IN THAT STORAGE ROOM

AND I FELT LIKE KIDNAPPING PAUL BERENYI, BUT HE WAS A TEASING BULLY TO

PLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE A PHEDAPHILE OR KIDNAPPER

I MADE A MISTAKE, JUST LIKE ZANO AND PAUL MADE A MISTAKE BY LOCKING ME IN THE ROOM

CAUSE, REALLY DUDES, I WAS RESCUED, BUT STILL I HATED BEING IN THERE

PEOPLE USED TO GRAB MY WALLET AND TEASE ME, BY TOSSING OVER MY SHOULDER

I GAVE JAMES PEDERSON, HELL, I WAS TRYING TO BE LIKE THE BIG MEN OF MY PAST

BUT I ENDED UP BEING A BIG WORTHLESS

YA SEE, I RIBBED DAVID, MY OLD SELF IS RIBBING ME AT PRESENT

I WRESTLED WITH BOYS AT SCHOOL, MY OLD SELF, IS TREATING ME LIKE AN ANIMAL

I AM NO ANIMAL, I AM NOT STUPID TO STAY WITH MY OLD SELF

THE RIBBING CAME FROM NOBODY BUT MY OWN SELF

THE SHUT UP ****, WAS FROM MY BROTHER

I HEAR VOICES SAYING CHRIS ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE, BRIAN

I SAY, LET ME GROW UP, WE’RE NOT AT SCHOOL ANYMORE

BUT I AM LISTENING TO MY VOICE OF MY CHILD SELF BACK IN THE 80S

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, HAPPENS TO MOST COOL KIDS

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY MY OLD SELF CAN’T EXCEPT ME IN MY CHOICE

TO BE AN ACTOR, I AM HAVING MEMORIES OF PAT SAYING IN AN ANGRY VOICE, YOU’RE NOT LIKE US, BRIAN

YOU WILL NEVER BE LIKE US, I WANT YOU TO GROW UP PAT SAYS IN MY HEAD

I TOLD HIM TO TAKE MY OLD SCHOOL SELF, UP TO THE COSMOS WHEN WE SLEEP

BUT IF I FEEL LIKE I DID LAST NIGHT

I WILL SIT AND DO MY TAPESTRY, TILL I EVENTUALLY DROP OFF

CHUCK METHANE ON DAD, CAUSE HIM AND ROBIN WILLIAMS

WILL GROW UP TOGETHER AS TWINS

I KNOW I AM GETTING OLDER, BUT I LIKE TO FEEL YOUNG

THAT’S WHY I WRITE AND DO ART

BRIAN ALLAN TAPESTRY PROFILE FACE BOOK

AARON CLAYTON AND AAA YOUTUBE TV ON YOU TUBE

BRIAN ALLAN ON ART COLONY

JOHNNY GEORGIE BROWN ON HELLO WRITERS

WRITER JOE ON WRITERSCAFE

AND I AM NOT WOOSEY FOR LIFE, OR COMPUTERS

I SIMPLY TOLD CANBERRA OFF, FOR LOCKING ME IN THE STORE ROOM

CAUSE I AM HEARING PAT MUCK AROUND WITH MY OLD SELF

MY HOOLIGAN IS DEAD, AND SCATTERED

UMMMMMMMM GOOD RIDDENS TO BAD STUFF IN MY HEAD

UMMMMMMMMM  I WANT TO SAY, KIDNAPPING IS NOT MY STYLE

UMMMMMMMMM I DON’T WANT TO KIDNAP MYSELF ON MY FAMILY

UMMMMMMMM SO I WANT THAT LITTLE KID DEAD

UMMMMMMMMM I BROUGHT HIM BACK, TO THE STREETS

UMMMMMMMMM TO SHOW, CANBERRA, MY HOOLIGANY COOL KID IS DEAD, MY ***** KID, SO TO SPEAK

Its tough to bring up a child on your own



You ser Roalyn joan Parkse was a single mum who every day, struggled
Through life, trying to raise her 3 year old daughter Katie, you see Katie's father
Was a ******, and yes,,Roslyn was ***** into being pregnant, she wanted an abortion
At first,,but then she was thnkimg, she always wanted to be a mum, so she decided to take
The risk and give birth to her daughter, but it's hard because, every day she went out
She kept looking at her daughter,,and then she'll have a horrible thought, that, what if,,she
Met her ****** again,,and she made a pact not to tell Katie who her real father is, mainly
Because, Roslyn wanted to make sure that Katie knows that she loves her.
The day after Roslyn gave birth to Katie, the father was sentenced to 45 years gaol, and
When Roslym heard that, she was relieved, because she can be at peace, and that made her live her life, making sure Katie is protected.
Roslym had her hands full trying to juggle raising her baby, on the little bit of money that the government gives her with the baby bonus, and she was told she wasn't eligible for any type of pension,,but if she, is willing to sit in on an interview with the men at centrelink, she might be able to receive the single mothers pension in 5 months, and Roslyn was a bit hostile about sitting in on an interview because, that's how her life with Katie's father was,
You see, Roslyn's parents hated Katie's father because they knew that he was bad news, and another thing too, they also knew that he was capable of anything.
You see Roslyn, as a child was easily led into any relationship, and also she was easily to be taken advantage of, and even if Katie's father appeared nice to her, he really was a really horrible man.
You see he started to muck with Roslyn, to keep her away from the family, and then when
He did that successfully, he will lure her into his bedroom,,and make sure that Roslyn was unaware of what he was putting her through, when Roslyn started to see sense, he gave her an illegal drug, which he said was a panadol after trying to calm her down, yes,  go felt better, but she was under a stupid dillusion that Katie's father was Mr Wonderful.
But she was drugged when she was showing signs of understanding that she is in the wrong relationship.
Roslyn's parents were frantic, as they were really worried that Roslyn was not calling .
them, and even when Roslyn's father died when she was 25, Roslyn was given another illegal drug to make Roslyn be really spaced out, so she can be too out of it, to attend her father's funeral.
And despite Roslyn's mother worrying why her own daughter wouldn't go to her daddy's funeral, she started to worry, and went on a mission to try and find and rescue her daughter, because, she was thinking that this is stupid, this horrible man, whose name was Jack Robsrts, was trying to force her daughter just to keep away from being a family person.
And when she eventually found Roslyn, of course when she knocked on the door, and Javk answered it, and when he saw Roslyn's mum standing there, he tried to shut the door into her face but as he did that, Roslyn's mum, used what she learnt in self defence class,,and knocked him out with one punch and she went straight up to the top bedroom and there she found Roslyn spaced out on the illegal drugs that Jack gave her, and when she was bringing her down the stairs, Jack got up and then grabbed the nearest knife and decided to hold a little hostage situation, but Jack was unaware that Roslyn's mum called the police, and despite the police sitting outside Jack's house for 2 hours,,they finally rescued Roslyn and her mum, from Jacks evil clutches, and they were put into an ambulance to be checked over, while Jack was arrested and yes as we told you, he was sentenced to 45 years behind bars,,but as Roslyn was being checked out by the doctors, which they saw she was drugged and also she was pregnant, and despite having an argument with her mother about it,,she decided to do what she wants and keep the baby,  because, Roslyn knew as long as Katie was unaware of who her real father was while being young, everything will be alright.
But her life was a complete nightmare, trying to raise Katie, always looking over her shoulder making sure that nobody was following her, and even though Roslym tried to keep a brave face, she was really suffering, looking after her baby, and she started to wish she
Listened to her mum when she said to have an abortion, but she wanted Katie to be unaware of how she really felt.
Each birthday that Katie had, Roslyn tried to make sure that Katie had heaps of friends to play with, and her first birthday Roslyn thought it was cute that Katie was doing baby talk with all her little friends, and she tried to make Katie feel so special, on her first birthday, and since then Roslyn struggled through life, trying to juggle her social chit chat with friends as well as giving her mum babysitting duties,,yes she started to feel good about her decision to keep Katie and at Christmas Roslyn met a man, and because of her track record with men, her mum was concerned even if she had met him and thinks he s charming but so was Jack, but that's in the past and Roslyn's mum told herself to trust her daughters man, and not think about Jack, because it will be good to have a father for Katie, so she kept it under her hat.
And on Katie's second birthday, yes she had a party and yes she made a lot of new friends, and Roslyn was happy because she was fooling around with her new man, whose name was Kenneth Kopland, and Kenneth asked Roslyn for her hand in marriage and Roslyn accepted, and when she told her mum, she tried to keep a brave face, hoping that she wssn't about to make a big mistake.
And 3 days before the wedding in November of that year,,Roslyn heard that Jack had escaped from prison with a couple of inmates and she was so worried she told her mum and despite days of putting it off, she eventually told Kenneth who made Roslyn feel protected by this man, and he told her, Roslyn, just stick with me, and you'll be safe, and after her honeymoon and then Christmas where  Kenneth dressed up as Santa for Katie and on New years eve, Roslyn was pregnant, with her second child but she was still worried that Jack was out to get her, and when Roslyn was out with her girlfriends, Jack noticed her with a little girl who looks like it could be his, but because she wouldn't touch him with a 30 foot pole, he had two arrange a little hostage situation for her,,and mate, if Jack doesn't get what he wants, he will ****.
So the day before Katie's third birthday, Roslyn and Kenneth were getting ready to go
To New York to visit Kenneth's parents but while they were doing that, Jack paid a little visit on Roslyn's mum, where he held her hostage, untill she tells him where Roslyn lives, and after 4 hours of yelling at Jack to leave her be, she told a little white lie, that Roslyn died in hospital that day, and then Jack left, knowing she was lying, but he will plan this little situation for her and then in a couple more weeks when Roslyn returned to her home town,
With Katie and Kenneth, Jack saw Roslyn in the car, and decided to follow her and yes he knew exactly where she lived now,,and it was only,a matter of time for him to make his move.
And the next day, Kenneth left for work, and Roslyn stayed at home and just kept an eye and it wasn't till she decided to go for a little walk,,she noticed Jack, and she suddenly let out a big scream and then had a yelling match, till Jack got out his pistol and shot at Roslyn, hitting her right in her chest and then kidnapped his daughter Katie, but after 3 hours of searching, the police found Jack nursing Katie at a railway station and the arrested Jack and put him back in prison and 3 hours later, Roslyn had passed away and she lost her baby as well and this made Roslyn 's mother and husband very scared as they move in to help raise Katie together because Kenneth didn't want to give her up, and when Katie was,,she was told the truth about her mother and father, and when Roslyn's mum passed away, Katie read the horrific story of how much pain her mum suffered being ***** back then, and after her grandmas funeral, she lived happily ever after with Kenneth and his new woman Josephine.

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

HI DUDES

THIS IS THE MANY SIDES OF DAD, FIRST HE WILL BOP TEACHING US MUSIC

OF HIS TIME, AND THEN TELL US TO EAT NICELY AT THE DINNER TIME

HE WOULD SING, OH ROSIE, LET’S DO THAT FOR THE BOYS

COME ON SUSIE, ROCK AND ROLL

AND THENN AFTER WHEN I ATE LIKE A SLOB AT THE DINNER TABLE

DAD WOULD CHEW HIS FOOD, LIKE AN OLD GRUMPY MAN

I WAS A BRATTY LITTLE KID, DAD SPOKE FOR THE CATS

HI FROM LADY, IN A LADIES VOICE

HI FROM SNOOPY IN A BIG MAN’S VOICE

HI FROM FLUFFY IN A POXLEY LADIES VOICE

YA SEE FLUFFY WAS THE CAT LIKE MISS PIGGY

I USED TO HAVE ARGUMENTS WITH THE CAT, SAYING MY BROTHER PUT ME IN CHARGE

AND HE SAID, SNOOPY, HE CALLS ME SNOOPY, YOU ARE BOSS OF YOURSELF

WHEN I AM AWAY, AND I WANTED TO BE THE ACTING MASTER, AND HE SAID

NO, YOUR BROTHER SAID SNOOPY, YOU ARE THE BOSS

AND DAD SANG THIS SONG WILD BILL HICCUP, OR SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT

AND MY BROTHER SMILED AT ME, CAUSE, THAT LADY’S VOICE SOUNDED LIKE FLUFFY’S VOICE

YA SEE WE HAD CONVERSATIONS FOR THE CATS ALL DAY, BUT WHEN DAD WAS ANGRY

HE LET IT SHOW, I LIKED WHEN DAD SPOKE FOR THE CATS, BUT I HATED GETTING ANGRY TO MAKE HIM ANGRY

YOU SEE DAD WAS A BIT OF A STICK IN THE MUD, TELLING ME TO EAT NICELY

I HATED THAT, BUT I WAS LIKE THE KIDS AT THAT STAGE

BUT I TOLD DAD, TO GO AND **** A LEMON, HE GOT MUM’S FRIENDS TO DANCE

TO HIS VERSION OF SINGING IN THE RAIN, YA KNOW, CHOO CHOO CHA CHOO CHOO CHA

BUT I TOLD THE WORLD THIS, BUT I WANT DADS HUMOUR IN THE WORLD

DAD’S ADVICE NEARLY GOT MY HEAD PUNCHED IN AS I COPIED THAT

LIKE IF SOMEONE SAID, WHAT AM I LOOKING AT TWIRP, DAD TOLD ME TO SAY,

DUNNO HASN’T GOT A NAMETAG ON IT, BUT CANBERRA COULDN’T EXCEPT THIS

MAYBE, IT IS OFFENSIVE, TO THEM, BUT I ALSO DIDN’T STAND FOR THE ANZAC DAY

I WAS GETTING MIXED MESSAGE OF DAD AND THE YOUNG DUDES, CROWDING MY HEAD

I DON’T MIND THAT, CAUSE NO KID WANTS TO BE TOTALLY LIKE THEIR FATHER

MY BROTHER WAS A LITTLE COOL KID, WHEN HE USED TO TEASE ME, AND THEN USED

TO GET INTO FIGHTS WITH ME BY THE POOL, I MAYBE HATED AT FIRST

BUT I AM NOT LIVING WITH PAST TEASING, I USED TO THROW STUMPS AT MY BROTHER

HE WAS SAYING, I WASN’T A COOL KID, I SAID, HE WASN’T A COOL KID

WE FOUGHT, WRESTLED, AND PLAYED BACKYARD CRICKET

WITH ALL OUR NEIGHBOURS, OH YEAH THAT’S COOL AS

DAD LOOKED LIKE DADDY LONG LEGS, AND MUM WAS MUMMY SHORT LEGS

AS THEY WERE HAVING A HIT IN BACKYARD

I HAD MY VERY OWN FOOTBALL LEAGUE, AND I PLAYED FOR BRIGHTON

AND DAD PLAYED FOR CCAE, WHICH IS NOW UNIVERSITY OF CANBERRA

AND DAD SCORED ABOUT 1000 GOALS SITTING IN THE FORWARD POCKET OF OUR FRONT YARD

I USED TO GET SICK OF DAD LOOKING AT ME, AT BEING A LITTLE SHY BOY

I HAD MY PLANS TO GET ON TV, THANKS TO MY BROTHER, FOR MAKING IT EASIER

I AM SUFFERING, BUT I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HITTING THE BIG SMOKE

BUT MY BROTHER AND DAD’S SENSE OF HUMOUR, GOT ME THINKING

WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE TOO IMAQGINATIVE, BUT IT MADE ME THE COOL PERSON I AM TODAY

I PERFORMED IN TWO PLAYS, URBAN DREAMINGT 2003, AND MOVE SPEAK ACT FOR MINDSCAPES

IN 2014, I HAVE TO SIT TIGHT, BUT THERE IS TRUTH IN THE FACT, THAT BIG THINGS HAPPEN TO THOSE WHO WAIT

EVERY BLADE OF GRASS TO BE SOWN, MOVE SPEAK ACT HAD FUN WITH MY EVERY BLADE OF GRASS THEORY

IN A THEATRICAL WAY, MADE ME FEEL GOOD, DAD ALWAYS SAID, TO START SMALL

DAD GAVE ME A COMPUTER, SO I CAN BE FAMOUS ON YOUTUBE, WELL, HE WAS GIVING ME THE COMPUTER

CAUSE I NEEDED TO LEARN, BUT DAD USED TO TELL FUNNY JOKES TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

THEN HE STARTED TELLING HIS LIFE STORY

I HOPE, IF DAVID CAMPBELL AND LISA CAMPBELL GET CATS OR DOGS, YOUR FUTURE TWINS IS MY DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS

TALK FOR THE CATS, YA SEE ROBIN WILLIAMS AND DAD ARE ALIKE, IF YA LISTEN TO THEIR HUMOUR

IROBIN WILLIAMS DID IT IN HOLLYWOOD, DAD DID ITWITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THINK ABOUT IT

ROBIN WILLIAMS AND DAD ARE THE PERFECT TWINS, BUDDHA DID THIS, SO THEUY CAN CROSS PATHS

LOOK OUT DAVID CAMPBELL AND LISA CAMPBELL, YOUR  TWINS ARE FUNNY

**** ANY MAN OUT OF YA COTTON PICKING HEAD, I PREFER DAD MATURE

I LIKED HISV FUN SIDE, **** HIS BIG BIG MAN, I WAS SITTTING ON THE COUCH

CAUSE OF THE FUN DAD HAD

BUT I HEAR VOICES NOW, OF ME GOING TO JAMISON SLIDE

AND SPENDING 2 HOURS ON THE SL;IDE, ATTENDING POOL PARTIES

DAD PROBABLY THOUGHT THIS WAS COOL, BUT I WAS NOT A LITTLE PARENTS BOY

I WAS A FAMILY PERSON WHO LOVES LIFE

BRING DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS TOGETHER JIMMY BARNESY’S GRANDCHILDREN

BOBBYE DAD, ENJOY NEXT LIFE WITH RW

HI DUDES


I AM LEARNING ABOUT COPYRIGHT, THE EASY WAY, I CAN’T HANDLE

WHEN PEOPLE SAY I AM BREAKING THE LAW WHEN I PARTY ON YOUTUBE

TO OTHER PEOPLE’S SONGS, SO, I USED THE 50 th ANNIVERSARY OF

MARCO AND SUSIE, TO CHANGE MY WAYS, YOU SEE, I USED TO BE TREATED

LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS TOO SHY TO BE FAMOUS, OR STUFF LIKE THAT

AND THAT FRUSTRATED ME SO MUCHL, I HATE THOSEV MATES NOW

CAUSE, I THOUGHT, THEY RESPECTED ME WANTING ME TO BE FAMOUS

YA SEE, I HATE HEARING THE VOICES DON’T MUCK WITH BRIAN MEN

BY PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I AM NOT A KID, I AM AN ADULT, BUT I WISH THESE VOICES

WILL LEAVE MY HEAD, SO I CHANGED MY WAYS, BY USING MY

BREAKFAST CLUB SHOW, TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT IS ON TV

I WANT ALL MY MATES TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD, I HATE THEM

ALL THEY WANT TO DO IN MY HEAD, IS PLAY WITH ME, SO

MY BROTHER CAN ENJOY THE COMPUTER, SO I GOT BACK INTO

READING THE MUSIC CHART, REGULAR THING, AND SHOW TAPESTRIES

TELL A FEW 90s TV TRIVIA, AND TRY AND GRAB INSPIRATION

I AIN’T INTO GUYS SAYING I WAS ****, I AM NOT GAY, YOU FUCKEN ****

I AM A STRAIGHT GUY, WHO IS A COOL GUY

CAN PLEASE SURGICALLY REMOVE, MY NUMSKULL MONGRELL KIDS OUT OF MY HEAD

ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I KNOW I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT PUTTING MUSIC ONB YOUTUBE

I WAS DOING IT IN THE AID OF FUN

I WISH I CAN BE FAMOUS ON TELEVISION

I WISH I CAN GET THESE BOGUS VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

YA SEE, I AM HEARING VOICES OF MYSELF IN THE EARLY 90s

WHEN I TIED MYSELF UP AND DREAMING THAT IS WHAT YOUNG DUDES DO

I TEASED DAD WITH THE KIDS, BUT I CAN TELL YA, I AM NOT ANYONE’S DADDY

IF I WANT TO STAY UP, I WILL ****** WELL STAY UP

I AM NOT YA FUCKEN DADDY, BUT, I JUST DON’T WANNA BE A HOOLIGAN ANYMORE

AND I HATE, BEING A YEAH MATE YEAH KID OR A KOOMARRI TO MUCK AROUND WITH

I FOUGHT DAD, CAUSE I HEARD A VOICE FROM HIM, SAYING

YOUR TOO SHY TO BE LIKE US, BRIAN, YOU ARE A KOOMARRI, BUT WE STILL LIKE YOU, BRIAN

AND THAT PROMPTED ME TO TEASE DAD, CAUSE, I THEN DIDN’T KNOW

WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS CRAZY PERSON’S VOICE

AND I VISIONED YOUNG DUDES GRABBING EACH OTHER AS IF TYING EACH OTHER UP

IS COOL KID, BEHAVIOUR, I HATE PEOPLE TRYING TO GIVE MY YOUTH BACK TO ME

I WANT MY YOUTH DEAD, CAUSE, I AM WORKING ON BREAKFAST CLUB WITH SUSIE AND MARCO

TO SEE HOW, I CAN PUT A SHOW TOGETHER

I DON’T WANT PATRICK TREATING ME LIKE HIS DADDY, I AM NOT HIS DADDY

IF I CAN’T SLEEP, I WILL STAY UP, IT’S HIS VOICE SAYING, I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR A COMPUTER NERD

BUT I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR COMPUTERS

I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR FAME AND FORTUNE EITHER

I AM A BETTER ARTIST, THAN THESE KIDS, CAUSE, ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE GET INTO PEOPLE’S HEADS

I SIT THERE DOING MY TAPESTRY, AND IF YA WANT TO SEE MY STUFF, UP CLOSE

VISIT BRIAN ALLAN’S FACEBOOK PAGE, WITH THE TAPESTRY AS THE PROFILE

AND READ MY MIND COOLY, SEE THE MANY ARTWORKS, I HAVE PUT ON IT

AND THE MANY YOUTUBE VIDS AND STORIES I POSTED

AND READ A FEW OF MY COMMENTS AS WELL

LEARN MY BUDDHIST

I AM JOHNNY GEORGIE BROWN ON HELLO WRITING, WRITER JOE, ON WRITERS CAFE

AND MY YOUTUBE SITES ARE AARON CLAYTON AND AAA YOUTUBE TV

I ALSO HAVE ART ON ART COLONY, UNDER BRIAN ALLAN

I DON’T LIKE MY OLD SCHOOL MATES ANYMORE, CAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO BE FAMOUS

OK, I AM IMPROVING, WHAT IS WRONG WITH GETTING REFORMED

I DON’T WANT TO BE A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE OR A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID FOR LIFE

I REALLY WANT TO BE FAMOUS, IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I DON’T KNOW WHY THESE ***** WANT TO MUCK WITH ME, LIKE THE USED TO MUCK WITH ME, FOR

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, ON EVERYTHING I DO

I WANT TO FAMOUS FOR THE GOOD OF THE EARTH

TRAIN ME, DUDES

YOU SEE I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING TREATED LIKE AN ANIMAL, AND I REMEMBER BACK IN THE 1930s, WHEN I WAS

BARNEY THE DOG, YA SEE I JUMPED AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND ROLLING AROUND ALL OVER THE

LAWN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YA SEE I AM GETTING VISIONS, OF ME AS BARNEY THE DOG, AND

I REMEMBER CHARLIE CHAPLIN PATTED ME ON THE HEAD, AND I BIT HIM SOMETHING FIERCE

AND CHARLIE CHAPLIN WASN’T IMPRESSED ONE LITTLE BIT, SO FROM THAT MOMENT, KRIS KRINGLE

DECIDED TO HAASLE CRONUS’S SPIRIT WHICH IS ME, AND I REMEMBERED JUMPING ALL

OVER EVERYONE, BUT I MAULED LITTLE KIDS AND CATS AND OTHER DOGS, AND I AM HAVING TROUBLE BATTLING

THIS VOICE TONIGHT, AS BUDDHA IS LIFTING BARNEY THE DOG UP, AND THEN DROPPING, YA SEE

MY OWNERS BACK THEN, REALLY HATED MY VIOLENT OUTBURSTS, AND I BARKED VERY FIERCELY BACK

AND I MADE MY OWNER REALLY SCARED OF ME.

I REALLY LOVED RUNNING ON THE BEACH IN MIAMI, YEAH IN THE 30s, MIAMI BEACH WAS BUSIER THAN

TODAY, I RAN DOWN AND I MAULED A KID, ON THIS BEACH AND MY OWNER GOT INTO  TROUBLE

CAUSE, DESPITE THE KID NOT DYING, HE HAD FRACTURES IN HIS HANDS, AND I VISION

OF ME PLAYING OUT ON THE FRONT DOOR, BUT I AM TRYING TO IGNORE THAT VOICE

ONLY BECAUSE, I AM NOT BARNEY THE DOG NO MORE, I REMEMBER GOING TO THE

LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL, AND I TRAPPED 3 KIDS IN THE BASEBALL SHED, 2 KIDS GOT OUT

BUT 1 KID WAS MAULED BY ME, BARNEY THE DOG, I FIRST STARTED GROWLING AT THE KID

THEN I KILLED HIM, WHICH MADE ME VERY HUNGRY FOR MORE, BUT AFTER MY OWNER HEARD

DESPITE OF WHAT HE SAID, WANTED TO KEEP ME UNDER LOCK AND KEY, HOPING IT WILL

REFORM THE SAVAGE BEAST IN MYSELF, I REALLY DON’T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE AN

ANIMAL, I AM A HUMAN BEING, NOW, BUT BRIAN ALLAN, WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO EXPLAIN

ABOUT HIS PREVIOUS LIVES, AND TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM, TO HELP THE POOR PEOPLE

I DON’T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE MY CAT EITHER, CAUSE I WAS RUBUX THE CAT

AND THAT CAT NEVER SLEPT, AFTER I WAS GREAME THORNE AND PATRICK DUNBAR BOTH

KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AT THE AGE OF 8, THEN I WAS RUBUX THE CAT, BUT I WAS A REALLY LOUD

NON FAMILY LOVING CAT, CAUSE MY COSMIC ENERGY, WAS HELPING CRONUS, DESTROY THE

SPIRIT OF STEVEN BRADLEY AS WELL AS THAT CRAZY WITCH DOCTOR, RUBUX WAS ALSO

A VERY HUNGRY CAT, HE ATE 5 TINS A NIGHT, AND THE OWNERS, WERE POOR AND STRUGGLING,

THEY CAN BARELY LOOK AFTER THEMSELVES LET ALONE A CAT, AND THEN RUBUX WAS RUN OVER BY A GROUP

OF KIDS SAYING, RUN HIM OVER, RUN HIM OVER, RUN HIM OVER, PRETTY MUCH WHERE I GOT THAT

STUPID VOICE, OF KIDS SAYING RUN HIM OVER, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ANIMAL, I AM A HUMAN BEING

I COULD BE DOG WITH A BLOG, BUT I THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT I DO ON

AAA YOUTUBE TV OR AARON CLAYTON, PLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN ANIMAL, I KNOW

BARNEY THE DOG WAS BAD, BUT KIDS MADE RUBUX PAY FOR WHAT BARNEY DID, I DON’T WANT TO BE A COOL KID

TO THE BED COVERS YOUNG DUDES, TONIGHT I FEEL LIKE A N ANIMAL, SO I WROTE IT OUT OF ME

CAUSE I AM A PERSON A VERY NICE PERSON

I WANT TO BE HAPPY EVERY DAY

BARNEY DOESN’T REALISE HE RUINED CRONUS’S GOOD NAME

BUT HE WAS A DOG, OH YEAH HE PUT OTHER GERMAN SHEPHERDS TO SHAME

I AM NO ANIMAL, BARNEY AND RUBUX, WERE MY LAST CRACKS, THE KIDS KILLED RUBUX, BRIAN

ALLAN WAS BATTLING WITH DAD SAYING LEAVE MY SON ALONE, BRIAN IS A COOL KID

LIKE ALL KIDS, I THOUGHT, I HATE BEING A COOL KID TO DAD, BUT I LIKE DOING THINGS THOUGH

MY COOL KID, IS WATCHING FOOTY, MY BROTHERS WAS PLAYING COWBOYS AND INDIANS

OK THAT IS THIS LIFE, BUT FOR RUBUX AND BARNEY, THEY HAD STUPID OWNERS

RUBUX’S OWNERS WERE SO DEVASTATED, WHEN RUBUX DIED, THEY TOOK THE KIDS TO COURT

GOT $ 1-000-000 IN COLD HARD CASH

AND BOUGHT A HOUSE IN MIAMI AND WENT TO WOODSTOCK IN 1969

AND BRIAN KNEW THIS, CAUSE I USED MY SPIRIT OF RUBUX THROUGH CRONUS TO WATCH THAT

THEY ENJOY THEMSELVES, IN THEIR NEW HOME IN MIAMI

A SEE I AM TRYING TO BE NICE, BUT MY DAD IS SQUEEZINH HIS WAY INTO MY HEAD

SAYING, YOUR NOT LIKE US YOUR NOT LIKE US YOUR NOT LIKE US YOUR NOT LIKE US

IY WAS BECAUSE DAD FRUSTRATED ME, SO I STARTED TO TEASE HIM

HE SAID TO ME, SHUT UP DUMMY, SHUT UP DUMMY

BUT HE PUT HIS VOICE IN MY MATES VOICES TO SHOW WHAT HE WAS REALLY LIKE BACK THEN

I FIND, I AM MENTALLY DISABLED, I LOOK LIKE I CAN’T HANDLE TEASING LIKE THIS

I CAN’T HANDLE EVERYONE GOING TO BED, I AM NOT THE COOL KID TO GO TO BED

I PREFER TO BE CRATIVE ON THE COUCH, LIKE MY NANNA USED TO DO

DAD IS A MAN, I DON’’T LIKE DADS MAN, I LIKE HIM, BUT NOT HIS MAN THAT HE REPRESENTED

DAD IS DEAD, BUT HIS SPIRIT IS SHOWING ME THAT ALL THE STUFF HE DID, WAS

FOR LOVE FOR THE FAMILY, HE WORRIED ABOUT ME GETTING TEASED

JUST BECAUSE, I DIDN’T APPEAR TO LIKE COMPUTERS, ONCE

COMPUTERS, ARE MORE FUN, NOW, YOUTUBE IS EXTRA FUN

I WISH THE TEASING YOUNG DUDES WOULD GET IT THROUGH THEIR THICL SKULLS

I DON’T LIKE GOING TO BED, I SLEEP ON THE COUCH, LIKE MY NANNA USED TO DO

STUFF, WHAT THE TEASING YOUNG DUDES, HAVE IN STORE FOR ME

I LIKE BEING CREATIVE, CAN’T YA SEE, I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FAMILY PERSON

I CAN’T HANDLE ALL THIS TEASING DAD, ******* YA FUCKEN OLD FOGIE

OR I WILL INJECT YOU IN TO A REALLY DISABLED PERSON’S SOUL

SO YOU CAN FIND OUT WHY I WAS ACTUALLY TEASING DAD

NO THESE VOICES ARE FROM BRETT EGGINS, BUT I DON’T WANT TO

BE A SHY **** SITTING ON THE COUCH, I WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH COMFORTABLY

I DON’T BELIEVE IN BEING A MAN, TO A TEASE, I AM HAVING MEMORIES

OF BRETT STRANGLING ME, NOTHING CAME OF THAT

BUT I FEEL, THAT PEOPLE COULD ****, IF I DID THAT AGAIN, SO I DON’T WANT BRETT THE STUPID COSMIC RABBIT

TRYING TO TREAT ME LIKE A SHY ****, PLEASE, *******, OK

I KNOW BRETT IS MY OWN AGE, I AM NOT LIKE OUR PARENTS

MY YOUNG DUDE THING IS POETRY SLAMS

I HATE PEOPLE WHO ONLY WANT ME TO DO AS THEY SAY

I AM NOT WOOSEY FOR LIFE, I AM A FIHJYER FOR LIFE

IT’S JUST THAT BRETT  AND PAUL ARE PUSHING DOWN ON ME

I AM NOT INTO LETTING THE AFTER LIFE WIN, I AM CREATIVE, DUDE

BRETT, DAD PAUL, YOU COULD’VE AVOIDED DOING THE THING YOU GOT KILLED FROM

LET ME LIVE MY LIFE ON EARTH, AND LOOK AFTER YA EARTH BODIES

SO EACH OF US BUDDHISTS, CAN MEND EVERY BLADE OF GRASS

GET MY MATE PAT OUT OF MY HEAD, JE IS A STUPID MAN, WHO CAN’T EXCEPT

I LOVE COMPUTERS, I DO  I DO I REALLY REALLY DO

LUCKY AND MUSCLES COMTROLLED BY SCOTT MCDONALD
PUT THIS IN MY HEAD

WHAT A COOL YOUNG DUDE INVENTION


HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND, OH YEAH, HOW RAD

HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND

TO HAVE THE WORLD TEASE MY DEAR OLD DAD

AS HE IS TRYING TO RELAX, BUT THIS IDEA IS COOL

YA SEE IN BELGUIM THE STREETS ARE SO, BAD

RUNNING THE BEER UNDERGROUND, YEAH THAT SOUNDS RAD

YA SEE I COULD CAUSE KIDDIES PRACTICING TO DIG

A HOLE IN THE GROUND, AND GET AT IT A BIT

BUT WHY WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT ISN’T AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS

AUSTRALIA LOVES BEER, WHY NOT DO IT FOR US

IT COSTS MONEY, I AM NO DUMMY

IT IS A COOL YOUNG DUDES INVENRTON, MAN

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY ON DUDES

I THINK PERSONALLY, IT WILL BE COOL

BREAK NO RULES, YEAH BEER TRAVELLING UNDERGROUND

WILL WORK HERE, JUST TRY IT OH ****** DEAR

YEAH THIS IS A COOL THING, LIKE AMERICAN IDOLS ADAM LAMBERT JOINING QUEEN

HERE THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, UNDERGROUND UNDERGROUND

YEAH THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, TO AVOID THE RICKEDY OLD STREETS OF BELGUIM, DUDE

IT’S THE KIND OF THING YA WANT IN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN

IT’S DEFINATELY THE THING IN AUSTRALIA MAN

YEAH IT’S A YOUNG DUDE INVENTION, AND IT MUST ****** WORK, DEAR

I DO ART, THAT’S MY YOUNG DUDE, YEAH, AND I AM PARTYING WITH COKE, OH YEAH

I USED TO BE THE TYPE TO DRINK A BEER, I GAVE UP WASN’T WORKING

BUT DON’T ****** WELL COPY ME, CAUSE I AM A LOST CAUSE TO THE CONSERVOS

MY YOUNG DUDE IS, PUTTING METHANE BACK TO EARTH, TO HEAL OUR HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM

MY YOUNG DUDE WANTS TO USE METHANE TO HEAL MY HEALTH REFORM

WHILE MY DAD IS SAYING, HE HAS NO YOUNG DUDE, AND FORCING YOUNG DUDES TO SAY

YOOUT NOT A COOL KID, DON’T MUCK WITH ME, BUDDY

I SAY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, MATEY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, SIR

BELGUIM, IS GOING TO BE RADICAL, DUDE

THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

WE SHOULD DO THAT IN AUSTRALIA, MATE

QUEEN HAVE A NEW SINGER, ADAM LAMBERT, AND BELGUIM HAS BEER ON THE UNDERGROUND

THE COOL YOUNG DUDES LIKE ME IN THE 1980S, ARE RETURNING, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

N THE YEARS OF 1995 AND 2007, I WENT TO WORK AT

NORTHSOUTH COTRACTORS, AND I MET STEPHEN

VOLKS, AND HE WAS A VERY ENTHUIASTIC PERSON

ALWAYS WORKED HARD, DID THINGS HE SHOULDN’T DO

SOMETIMES, BUT STEVE VOLKS DIED AND HIS MOTHER

CRIED AT THE FUNERAL, AND STEVEN VOLKS HAS BEEN

REINCARNATED AS A CAT, LIVING NEXT DORR TO ME IN HAWKER

THE CATS NAME IS JADE, AND I LIKE JADE, AND JADE IS A REALLY

CUTE CAT, REMINDS ME OF VOLKI’S LAUGH AT NORTH SOUTH YA KNOW

I GOT ON WELL WITH VOLKI, AND NOW AS I SEE JADE ENTER MY

BALCONY, TRYING TO PULL  MY SCREEN IN, YA SEE

YA SEE, AT LEAST STEVEN VOLKS, IS AT PEACE WITH BEN

MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR LOOKING AFTER IT WELL

YEAH AS JADE IS SEEN BY ME, I MUTTER TO MYSELF, HI VOLKI HOWS IT GOING


AND DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS, HAVE ENTERED THE ****** OF DAVID

AND LISA CAMPBELL AND LEO, WHO IS THEIR ELDEST BOY

WELL APPARENTLY HIS PREVIOUS LIFE WAS OLGA CHICK

AND I MADE SURE THAT DAD BROUGHT HIS AFTER LIFE TOYBOY ROBIN WILLIAMS

TO MEET WITH OLGA CHICK, YA SEE, THIS IS A PLOY TO BRING OLGA

TO DAD, OLGA WAS A WORKER AT VINNIES LIKE ME

AND SHE WORKED IN A BIG CAFETERIA, ONCE, AND

AFTER SHE DIED, AND SHE WAS A LOVELY LADY, A REALLY LOVELY LADY

AND SHE BECAME THE FIRST BORN OF DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL

OLGA IS NOW LEO CAMPBELL, AND LEO IS GETTING TWIN SIBLINGS

DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS, REINCARNATIONS AS I WANTED DAD TO MEET OLGA

SHE IS SUPER NICE, AND I WANT DAVID LISA LEO TO MEET DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS SO THEIR SPIRITS DON’T STRAY

LIKE I DID, AND MANY OTHERS DID

I BELIEVE OLGA IS LEO CAMPBELL CAUSE I AM A BUDDHIST
AND STEVEN VOLKS IS JADE CAUSE I AM A BUDDHIST

STEVEN WANTS TO BE JADE, SO HE CAN CURE HIS SOUL FROM MENTAL BREAKDOWNS



OLGA AND STEVE, UMMMMMM, LEO AND JADE UMMMMM

UMMMMMM OLGA IS LEO,   UMMMMMM STEVEN VOLKS IS JADE

THOSE WERE GREAT FIREWORKS HOORAH
YEAH, PRETTY RADICAL FIREWORKS HOORAH
THE FIREWORKS ARE ****** RAD
AS THEY ARE SHINING BRIGHTLY WITH THE GHOST OF DAD
MY COSMIC ENERGY HAS IMPROVED
SINCE I STARTED WITH THESE EMAILS
I SHULD BE THE THE 75 LIKE TO THIS VIDEO, HOORAH
YEAH, FIREWORKS ARE A GREAT WAY TO PARTY, HOORAH
I AM THE COOL PERSON, WHO SEES DADDY'S GHOST
IN A GIANT PUFF OF SMOKE
I THINK HEAVY METAL SHOULD JOIN THE FIREWORKS
TO ADD FOR A VERY SPECIAL EFFECT
PRETTY MUCH LIKE SKYFIRE IN MARCH IN CANBERRA
FIREWORKS, THEY LIGHT UP THE SKY, OH YEAH
FIREWORKS, PRETTY **** RAD, HOW COOL
I LIKE JUDAS PRIEST, AND ACCA DACCA TOO
BUT AS EACH FIREWORK SHINES, DUDES
IT LIGHTS THE SKY FOR YOU
HAPPY NEW YEAR, DUDES

NGUS'S ******


YEAH IT'S FUN TO SEE ANGUS'S AC/DC'S ******
HE FELT HE WAS WEIRD, BUT ALSO FELT QUITE COOL
CAUSE AS HE DANCES HIS COOL DANCE STYLE
OFF WENT HIS PANTS TO SEE HIS COOL JOCKS
HE PARTIES UP, YEAH HE PARTIES DOWN
AND HE PARTIES RIGHT WHERE ANY CONSERVOS FROWN
AND IT'S COOL TOO SEE ANGUS'S ACCA DACCA ******, YEAH
YA SEE HE TAKES HIS HAND AND RIPS THE SHIRT FROM HIS BACK
AND THEN SANG OUT THE FLAMING WORDS, WE GOT THE JACK
PLAYING WITH HIS JOCKS, THE ACCA DACCA JOCKS
RUNNIG AROUND SINGING HIS HEAVY METAL SOUND
PRETTY COOL, FOR A ACCA DACCA SINGER LIKE HIM, DUDES
NOW HE IS PLAYING THE GUTAR WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE
AND AS HIS ****** LOOK COOL INDEED
COOL INDEED COOL INDEED COOL INDEED
ANGUS YOUNG IS MIGHTY COOL INDEED
SHOOT TO ****, WE BREAK NO RULES
I DID BUT ONLY THE MORALIC RULE
ANGUS'S ******, OOPS HIS JOCKS
GO HOME AND READ FOX IN ANGUS'S ******

YEAH IT'S FUN TO SEE ANGUS'S AC/DC'S ******
HE FELT HE WAS WEIRD, BUT ALSO FELT QUITE COOL
CAUSE AS HE DANCES HIS COOL DANCE STYLE
OFF WENT HIS PANTS TO SEE HIS COOL JOCKS
HE PARTIES UP, YEAH HE PARTIES DOWN
AND HE PARTIES RIGHT WHERE ANY CONSERVOS FROWN
AND IT'S COOL TOO SEE ANGUS'S ACCA DACCA ******, YEAH
YA SEE HE TAKES HIS HAND AND RIPS THE SHIRT FROM HIS BACK
AND THEN SANG OUT THE FLAMING WORDS, WE GOT THE JACK
PLAYING WITH HIS JOCKS, THE ACCA DACCA JOCKS
RUNNIG AROUND SINGING HIS HEAVY METAL SOUND
PRETTY COOL, FOR A ACCA DACCA SINGER LIKE HIM, DUDES
NOW HE IS PLAYING THE GUTAR WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE
AND AS HIS ****** LOOK COOL INDEED
COOL INDEED COOL INDEED COOL INDEED
ANGUS YOUNG IS MIGHTY COOL INDEED
SHOOT TO ****, WE BREAK NO RULES
I DID BUT ONLY THE MORALIC RULE
ANGUS'S ******, OOPS HIS JOCKS
GO HOME AND READ FOX IN
YEAH I LOVE ICE CREAM
AND I LOVE LIFE GOING ON ADVENTURES
I LOVE CONCERTS, I HEAR CANBERRA
SAYING, LET'S PUT ON POISON CONCERT
FOR BRIAN ALLAN AND AC/DC CONCERT FOR
BRIAN ALLAN AND TWISTED SISTER FOR BRIAN ALLAN
YEAH, I STILL LOVE HEAVY METAL MUSIC, BETTER
THAN THE ARMY, I LIKE LIVE CONCERTS
I THINK IT'S RATHER GRAND
HEARING, THE CROWD YELL ANGUS ANGUS ANGUS
LIKE THE ****** BURGER ANGUS
I ALSO HATE DAD'S VOICE SAYING YOUR LIUKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN
I LOVE HEAVY METAL AND I AM HEARING THUNDERSTRUCK AT PRESENT
I AM NOT LIVING IN THE PAST
I AM LIVING IN THE PRESENT FOR A PRESENT
I PREFER HEAVY METAL, I ALWAYS LIKED HEAVY METAL
BETTER THAN THE ARMY, I KNOW THEY ****
BUT WHERE'S THE THRILL, HEAVY METAL MUSIC IS SOOOO COOOOOL
LET'S PARTY PARTY PARTY ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT
I WILL CLEAN MY HOUSE LATER, AC/DC ARE MORE IMPORTANT MATE
BEING COOL IS MORE IMPORTANT AT PRESENT
I LOVE ACCA DACCA, THEY ARE ****** RADICALLY AWESOME DUDE
HEAVY METAL GOES UP, HEAVY METAL GOES DOWN
HEAVY METAL IS PLAYED NICE AND LOUD
AND THEV SCREAM OUT TO THE REAL LIFE CROWD
YEAH ACCA DACCA ARE COOL
WE ARE GETTING RID OF DADS OLD FOGIE
LIKING MY LITTLE CLEANER 24 HOURS A DAY
I KNOW I MIGHT HAVE WANTED THAT, TIMES CHANGE, DUDE
ACCA DACCA ARE RAD

PARTY PARTY PARTY

THE MUSIC IS SWEET, AND VERY VERY COOL
YA SEE IT'S VEG OUT MUSIC TRUE AND TRUE
STARSHIPS ARE MEANT TO FLY
SO HIGH TO TOUCH THE SKY
**** ALL YA WANT **** ALL YA LIKE
AND WE PARTY WITH THIS MUSIC CAUSE IT'S REALLY REALLY COOL
OH YEAH, SHAKE YOUR THANG BUDDY
SHAKE IT ****** RIGHT
SHAKE IT IN THE MORNING, AND INTO THE NIGHT
PARTY, UP AND PARTY DOWN
YEAH SHOW EACH SQUAREHEAD WHO LETS OUT A FROWN
THEN TAKE THIS MUSIC TO THE DANCEFLOOR
AND GET A BOURBON AND COKE, AND ***** AND SCOTCH
YEAH THIS SOUNDS REALLY RAD
PARTY PARTY PARTY
INTO COSMIC DREAMING, YEAH MATE YEAH
COME ON MEN TRY AND STEAL MY BEER
I THINK YOU CAN OPEN THE LID BY USING YA EAR
COME ON PARTY PEOPLE TRY A NICE COLD BEER
THEN HEAD DOWN TO THE FAMOUS NIGHT CLUB
HEAR THE BIG BAND SINGING THE XM,AS CAROL
RUPPA PUM PUM
COME THEY TOLD ME, YOU ARE THE OLD ME, STUPID VOICE OF OLD MATE
THE OLD ME, PLAYING COOL FOR MY FATHER, LIKE A DRINKING BOOZING
YOUNG DUDE DOES
I BIT THE TOP OF THE COKE CAN, MAN
AS I HEARD STARSHIPS FLYING IN THE SKY
I YELLED BRIAN, MAKES STARSHIPS REALLY FLY, OH YEAH
SO MUCH, IN FACT THEY'LL HIT THE SKY
BRIAN HAS THE POWER TO LIFT UP A STARSHIP NOW
THEN I SANG THE WORDS OH YEAH, BOW BOW
PARTY PARTY PARTY
I DRINK A COCA COLA SO STRAIGHT
CAUSE ALCOHOL DIDN'T WORK FOR ME
I KNOW I COULD'VE SAID NO, BUT IF I SAID NO
I WOULDN'T KNOWN IF THEY WERE BAD FOR ME, NOW WOULD I
I PARTY PARTY PARTY THROUGH THE STREETS OF CANBERRA TOWN
OH CANBERRA TOWN IN SUMMER IS VERY HUMID
OH YEAH CANBERRA TOWN, CAN CHANGE THE WEATHER
WHEN ONE MINUTE IT'S HUMID THE NEXT IT'S ICE COLD RAIN
AND THIS RAIN ONLY LASTS 5 MINUTES AND IT'S ****** HUMID AGAIN
OH YEAH CANBERRA TOWN, WILL STAY HOT IN JANUARY AND FEBRUARY
OH YEAH WE ALL FEEL LIKE A COLD DRINK IT'S SO FUN
TO PARTY IN THE HEAT OF CANBERRA TOWN
AND WE'LL PARTY PARTY PARTY ALL YEAR LONG
HAVE A NICE COLD BEER TO MY GREAT MATE BRIAN

YA SEE PEOPLE SHOULD MEDITATE, BECAUSE, YOU CAN IMPROVE THE WHOLE
WORLD, THINKING ABOUT OUTER SPACE, NOW, I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING VISIBLE BY THE NEKED EYE, BUT THEY SAY NAKED EYE FOR A REASON, ALL YA HAVE TO DO
IS BELIEVE THAT WHEN PEOPLE DIE, THEY GO TO OUTER SPACE COSMICALLY
TO PERORM SONGS OR WORK ON BUILDING NEW WORLDS AND WORK ON
DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE FEAT, OF FINDING ETERNITY OR NIRVANA, NOW
PERSONALLY I SAY TO PEOPLE THAT NIRVANA IS A ROCK BAND, AND ETERNITY
IS A PLACE BEFORE RELIGION, WHICH A WICKED WITCH CAST A SPELL AND
DESTROYED ETERNITY, AND EACH COSMIC PUB, HAS METHANE SMOOTHIES
WHICH IF DRANK OR SPRAYED ON ONE ANOTHER, CAN GET RID OF YOUR KID YOU
DON'T WANT IN YOURSELF, YA THE OLD FOGIE MIND, THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO
CARRY ON TILL NEXT LIFE, I SEE DAD EVERY NIGHT SINCE HE DIED, AND PEOPLE
SAY IT'S JUST MEMORIES, BUT I SAY COSMIC PARANORMAL THOUGHTS
CAUSE I KNEW DAD, IN WAYS, THAT HE WOULD TEASE, TO BE COOL, AND DAD
WELL, HE WENT FOR WALKS AND SWIMS, AND HE EVEN GOT THE WEEDS
OUT OF THE CEMENT CRACKS, PLUS HE HELPED A LOT OF YOUNG DUDES
BUT, I WAS FALLING DOWN THE CRACKS, DAD TRIED TO HELP WITH THE
DISCIPILINE, OF ABOUT 200 YA KNOWS FOLLOWING HIS SENTENCES, YA SEE
DAD WAS UNAWARE OF WHAT I WAS DOING, BACK THEN, I WAS IN LESS DANGER
BUT WE ALL ARE IN DANGER, WE CAN GET RUN OVER BY A BUS, OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT, DAD TURNED OFF THE IDEA OF HELPING WHEN I FOUGHT WITH HIM
A WEEK BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11, BECAUSE DAD WAS DETERMINED TO THINK
I WAS IN THE WHOLE THING FOR MYSELF, WELL, MAYBE I WAS, I PLAYED SANTA
CAUSE I FOR MYSELF WANTED TO SHOW CANBERRA, THAT I WASN'T A PHEADPHILE
OR KIDNAPPER, YA SEE, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, EVERYONE HAS THOSE
DAYS, I GOT ANGRY WITH DAD, BECAUSE AT THAT TIME, HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
I NEEDED TO PLAY SANTA CLAUS, ALL BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING TO PAINT MY
REAL BEARD, INSTEAD OF GETTING A REAL BEARD, MIND YOU I LOOKED MORE
THE PART, WHEN I USED A PRETEND BEARD, BUT A PAINTED BEARD COULD'VE
LOOKED GREAT, AS WELL, DIFFERENT, AND DIFFERENT LIKE THIS, IS COOL
AND DAD GOT SICK OF THIS WHOLE THING, AND BROUGHT A BEER OUT THE
BACK, CAUSE HE WAS *******, WITH ME ARGUING ABOUT A STUPID SANTA
BUSINESS, DAD WAS WEIRD, BUT I HAD NO IDEA, OF WHETHER, HE WAS SAYING
I WASN'T AN OLD FOGIE YET, CAUSE I WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO BE LIKE MY MATES
DAD NEEDED TO GET A FUCKEN REALITY CHECK, CAUSE, HE WAS A BIG BIG BIG MAN, AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE BIG BIG MEN, I LIKED PAT, AND WE HAD FUN TEASING LYLE, AND I WAS NO WAY KNOWN TO MAN, EVER GOING TO TEASE
ANYBODY WITH DAD, I AM AN ADULT, WHO BELIEVES IN HAVING FUN
SOMETIMES TEASING, IS WHAT I LIKE, BUT AS I SAID TO DAD I WAS A HOOLIGAN
WAS BECAUSE, HE OBSESSED TOO MUCH, IN GIVING ME ****** JOBS

NOBODY LIKES, BUT I DID THE JOBS TO SHOW DAD I WASN'T LAZY, BUT
I REALLY WANTED TO BE FAMOUS, AND I WILL ARGUE AT THEM FOR THINKING
I DON'T WANT TO BE FAMOUS, BUT THAT WAS MUM, IN A WAY, DAD SUPPORTED
MY OPTION IN 2003, ABOUT MY PLAY CALLED URBAN DREAMING, AND
DAD WOULD SUPPORT ME NOW AS WELL, EVERYONE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
DAD DID WHAT MUM WANTED HIM TO DO, SINCE THE FIGHT IN 2001
AND IN HINDSIGHT, I WISHED I DIDN'T FIGHT THEM, BUT SOMETIMES DAD WAS
A TAD REALISTIC, AND THOUGHT, NO SON OF MINE WILL EVER BE A CRAZY
PERSON, BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF THE CRAZY PERSON IS BELIEVING IN COSMIC
ENERGY OR PREVIOUS LIVES

I AM A BUDDHIST, I HAVE ******* MY FAMILY
SO I AM LEAVINGT THEM ALONE
YA SEE I TRY AND BE NICE TO EVERYONE, BUT MY SCHITZOPHRENIC VOICES
MAKES ME YELL OUT TO THE STARS TO LET ME BE
THIS LADY IS COOL, BUT, SOMETIMES IT'S DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION
LIKE, IF YA GOT A BIG JOB, A PERFECT FAMILY, AND A LOT OF CASH
IT'S EASY TO BELIEVE IN BEHAVING AND MORALS
BUT IF YA HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO0 BE FAMOUS, EVEN IF
YOUR STUFF IS WORTHY OF MONEY,

I TRY NOT TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, WITH WHAT I SAY
I WANT TO FIND MY INNER PEACE, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TEASING ME
IN MY HEAD, I HATE DAD CALLING ME DUMMY FROM IN THE COSMOS
BUT I WAS THE TEASIE OF THE FAMILY, AND I WANT IT TO FUCKEN STOP
I TRIED TO SHOW MUM AND DAD, SWEARING IS JUST WORDS, NOTHING MORE
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO SWEAR AT MY FOLKS, I WASN'T SLANDERING
THEM, I WASN'T TRYING TO UPSET THEM,, I WAS A COOL KID, THE COOLEST
KID AROUND, I WAS A COOL KID, SO MY MATES CAN FEEL AT EASE
I CARE FOR MY FELLOW HUMAN'S, I TRY AND RESPECT HUMANS
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE3 MUM AND DAD, THEY ARE OLDIES
THEY HELPED BUT THEY WERE OLD FLAMING HAGS
I SAY THIS IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY
I TELL MY MATES, THEY GO HEY
I KNOW I UPSETTED PEOPLE BY TYING THEM UP, OR NOT RESPECTING THEIR
WAYS TO ENJOY LIFE, THIS LADY, HAS NO IDEA, OF WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, FOR ME
A COSMIC BELIEVER, WHO WANTS TO BE A BUDDHIST, I LIKE THIS LADY
BUT SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT MORE, MORALS, STINK, IT'S THE REASON WHY
WE HAVE ATHIESTS BEING HOOLIGANS, MY PROBS, WERE BECAUSE I WAS
GREAME THORNE KIDNAPPED AT 8 AND PATRICK DUNBAR KIDNAPPED AT 8
I FIND IT HARD TO EXPRESS MYSELF WITHOUT ARGUMENTS, I AM NOT SHY
TO BE A MAN, NOT A FIGHTING MAN, A BUDDHIST MAN, THIS LADY NEEDS
TO LEARN ABRAHM'S BUDDHIST BELIEFS
I CRAVE LIFE, BUT MY COSMIC BELIEF IS TRAPPING ME THINKING
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY, WHICH BRINGS OUT A VOICE FROM
THE EARLY 90S, YOUR GETTING KIDNAPPED ONE DAY BRIAN, NOT WHILE
YOUR TRYING TO BE A COOL KID TO THEM, I RESPECT THAT CANBERRA PEOPLE
DIDN'T SAY THIS, BUT I FIND IT HARD TO BE RESPECTED BY THEM, CAUSE I WAS
TRYING TO BE A YOUNG DUDE, YOUR COOL, BUT, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
ABOUT POOR BUDDHISTS SUCH AS MYSELF

I AM TRYING TO FIND HAPPINESS, AS I FELT I HAD TO GET PAST MY MUM AND DAD
FOR FUTURE HAPPINESS, I THINK THAT VISION OF HELL, IS TRUE, CAUSE I AM A BELIEVER IN COSMIC ENERG, AS WELL AS THE BUDDHIST PHILOSOPHY OF
MENDING EVERY BLADE OF GRASS TO BE SOWN, I WANT TO BE A HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY, BUT I HAVE TO SETTLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH, I WANT TO HAVE
MY ART DISPLAYED IN ART GALLERIES, BUT I DO IT ONLINE, EVEN FACEBOOK
I WANT TO LOOK AT MY STORIES, LIKE ME, BRINGING MY IMAGINERY TV STATIONS
INTO THE REAL WORLD, I REMEMBER DAD SAYING, SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE
TO MAKE SACRIFICES, WELL, I FELT I WAS SACRIFICES OF HIM TREATING ME
LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO A TEASE, I TRY AND BE A OPTOMIST, BUT IT ISN'T HARD
TO BE A PESIMIST, BECAUSE, I AM NOT AS FAMOUS, AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
YA SEE, I FIND THIS GUY PRETTY COOL, YA KNOW, HE ISN'T AFRAID TO EXPRESS
HIS BUDDHIST BELIEFS, BUT I FELT I WAS SUFFERING WHEN I WAS BEING THE
FAMOUS PERSON FROM THE FAMILY, AND I WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON, I LIKE
THE IDEA, OF BEING FAMOUS, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR JUST 10 YEARS, I FEEL FAMOUS
IN MY MENTAL HEALTH DRAMA GROUP, I WANT TO GET FURTHER WITH THAT ART
THERPAY, AT BELCONNEN MENTAL HEALTH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, I WAS
TRYING TO CALL A TRUCE WITH DAD, HE DID DO IT FOR LOVE, BUT I FELT, HE
LIKED MY BROTHER MORE, AND HE DROVE ME CRAZY, NOW, I NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM, HE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND ME, BUT HE COULD'VE TRIED HARDER
CAUSE, I SUFFERED ALL MY LIFE, YOU KNOW, NOBODY WANTED TO STAY
WITH ME AT NIGHTCLUBS, OR GO WITH ME TO NIGHTCLUBS,DESPITE, ME STILL
ENJOYING MYSELF IN NIGHTCLUBS, I REALLY WANTED TO BE W2ITH COOL MATES,
NOT TOTALLY SQUARRE MATES, AND I CAN TELL YOUNG DUDES, I PARTIED IN
NIGHTCLUBS, IN MY DAY, MAN, I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND DAD, WHEN I SAT NEAR HIM
BUT HE WANTED TO TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO LIFE, LIKE SOMEONE
WHO IS FINDING IT DIFFICULT, DAD WAS A LITTLE SHY BOY, HE HATED, THINKING
OR DREAMING FOR THE FUTURE, AS OPPOSED, TO LIVING FOR TODAY, I KNOW
I SEEMED TO DWELL IN THE PAST, BUT I NEVER DWELL, I MAKE PEACE WITH THE
PAST, I TOLD DAD THIS BEFORE HE DIED, LIKE HE PREFERS, CONTRACTOR, I PREFER ERIN BOY, JUST BECAUSE I AM IN MY 40S, DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T BE
AN ERIN BOY, INSTEAD OF CONTRACTOR, DAD, WAS A GREAT LOVER OF FLOWERS
AND HE HATED ME EATING GRASS, BUT I HATED HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE
BABY SHY BOY, I SAW LIFE, IN A BETTER AND DIFFERENT WAY TO DAD
I LIKE PARTYING DAD LIKED BEING MATURE
I PLAY CRICKET AND NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES, TO MAKE DAD FEEL LIKE A MAN
SOME OF THE MEN WHO WENT TO CLUBS, WERE NICER TO ME MORE THAN DAD
AND OUR NEIGHBOUR, ALAN WAS OLD, BUT HE LOVED THE SYDNEY SWANS
AND I USED TO TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD THE SYDNEY SWANS ARE, HE TOLD
ME ABOUT HOW HE WENT TO THE PAPER SHOP TO GET TELEGRAMS OF THE
SWANS, YEAH, I USED TO HAVE FUN ARGUMENTS WITH ASHLEY, AUSSIE RULES
V LEAGUE, AND I FOUGHT FOR CARLTON OVER STAN NIEMICS ESSENDON
AND I REMEMBER LESLIE, WAS MUMS FRIEND, BUT HE WAS A GREAT MATE TO ME
I HAD MY SCHOOL MATES TEASING ME IN MY HEAD, HE GAVE ME HIS EAR
THAT LIFE'S DEAD, BUT I SHARED A FEW LAIGHS WITH DAD, BUT HE WELL TRIED
AS HARD AS HE COULD, LIKE GOINGT TO MY FLAT FOR XMAS PARTIES, THE ONLY WAY, BUT I TOLD DAD THINGS ABOUT TV AND SPORT, LIKE DAD TOLD ME WHEN
IT WAS A FIRE BAN OR WHEN IT WAS GOING TO RAIN, I TOLD HIM ABOUT ALF
STEWART ON HOME AND AWAY, AND HOW BAD CARLTON AND THE RAIDERS
WERE PLAYING, I WENT TO WEEKEND JAIL FOR TYING UP A BOY, BUT I LEARNT
MY LESSON STRAIGHT AWAY, DAD  NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS, HE JUST
THOUGHT I WAS DWELLING, I SUFFERED THROUGH THIS, I CAN'T BE LIKE
THE OLD BATTILAX, DAD, I CAN'T BE THE PERSON, DAD WANTED ME TO BE
I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM AND MUMMY, ESPECIALLY NOW, THAT HE IS DEAD
AND WE LAID DADS ASHES, IN COPPINS CROSSING, WITH JUST ME, MY BROTHER
AND MY MOTHER, I BROUGHT BUDDHA WITH ME, AND PUT A BIT OF DAD ON BUDDHA'S LAP, AND DID A LITTLE CEREMONY, AS I WAS TRYING TO BURY
DADS SPIRIT, SO HE CAN SOON GET REINCARNARTED AS ONE OF DAVID AND
LISA CAMPBELL'S TWINS, ROBIN WILLIAMS IS THE OTHER ONE, I DROWNED
BUDDHA, TO FINALLY BURY MY DAD, AND LET THIS FAMOUS BUSHWALKER
OF OLD TO FLOAT ON COPPINS CROSSING, I BELIEVE IN GOING TO ATHENA
UP IN THE SKY, FOR COSMIC DENTAL WORK, RATHER THAN DADS REALISTIC WAY
DENTISTS ARE QUACKS, WHO ARE AFTER YOUR CASH, PARACETAMOL AND
TOOTHPASTE AND COKE, HELPS YOUR TEETH BETTER, AND NOW DAD AS
HE FLOATS AROUND IN COPPINS CROSSING, THINKING, I MUST, HELP THE WORLD
UNDERSTAND, BRIAN, AND I HATED DAD TREATING ME LIKE THIS LITTLE SHY BOY, OR HE WANTED, IS TO SAY THE LAST FUCKEN WORD
THIS BUDDHIST ISN'T AFRAID OF GOING TO JAIL, I HATE GOING TO JAIL, I PREFER
THE PSYCH WARD, CAUSE IT'S SAFER, BUT I PREFER TO BE WELL, SO I DON'T
GO TO EITHER, I AM NO PHEADPHILR OR KIDNAPPER
\
I AM A BUDDHIST ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER
WHO LOVES TO PARTY DOWN, OUT OF SQUARE TOWN, I AIN'T SQUARE
I AM RADICALLY AWESOME DUDE

I INSPIRED THIS SHOW, BUT THROUGH EMAILS, CAUSE SINCE DAD DIED
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BURY THAT OLD KODGER, YA SEE I KNOW DAD HELPED
A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, LIKE THE WAY
HE DID, WASN'T HELPING ME, I WAS TRYING TO BUILD MY LIFE, AND LIKE
NORMAL KIDS, I ARGUED WITH MY PARENTS, AND DAD, DESPITE HELPING
MY BROTHER AND MOTHER, AND OTHER MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY
AND FAMILY, HE REALLY NEVER HELPED ME, IN THE SAME WAY, HE SHOULD'VE
TRIED TO FIGURE OUT WHY I WAS FIGHTING HIM, I DON'T WANNA HEAR HIS
VOICE IN DEATH, SAYING, SHUT UP DUMMY, TO EVERYONE ELSE DAD HELPED THEM
TO ME, DAD LOOKED LIKE, THE OLD GRUMBLE *** FATHER, ON THE WONDER YEARS, IT LOOKED LIKE, HE WANTS TO TEASE, THERE ARE WAYS, FOR DAD
TO BREAK, HIS PRECIOUS ROUTINE, TO BE A BETTER FATHER TO ME, HEW
SEEMED TO THINK THAT I WANTED TO BE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO HIM, BACK THEN
IT FUCKEN MADE ME SCARED OF DAD, IN A WAY, AND ALL THAT TRIGGERED OFF
WHEN I TOLD THEM, YOUR NOT MY REAL PARENTS, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
DAD WAS A LITTLE SHY BOY, CAUSE HE SO NAIVE, THINKING I WANTED TO
BE TREATED LIKE A COOL KID, OR A MANS KID TO A FIGHT, I DID ALL THAT
TO TRY AND EXPLAIN TO DAD, THAT, I DON'T WANT TO BE A COOL KID TO HIM
DAD WAS SQUARE, VERY SQUARE, AND DESPITE ME TRYING TO UNDERSTAND
HIM, I STILL THINK DAD WAS SQUARE, NOW, I KNOW PAT ISN'T MY DADDY, BUT
HE HELPED ME MORE THAN DAD DID, LIKE SHOWING ME HOW TO BE COOL
DAD DIDN'T WANNA BE COOL, BUT I HATED DADS DISCIPLINE, RIDUAL, LIKE
TRYING TO STOP ME FROM BEING A BIG MANS KID, PLAYING SHOWS IN MY ROOM
EVERY TIME I SQUABBLED WITH DAD, I HATED HOW, HE WAS TRYING TO GET
THE L;AST FUCKEN WORD, I TRIED TO BE A COOL KID TO DAD, BY JOKING LIKE
A COOL KID DOES, BUT MAYBE DAD WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE TEASING LIKE
ALL PARENTS, YEAH, LIKE ALL KIDS, I HATED, BEING THE YMCA'S DIRECTORS SON
BUT, THIS WAS DADS LIVELIHOOD, I CAN'T STOP DAD, TRYING TO BE A GOOD FATHER, LATELY, I HEAR DADS VOICE SAYING, SHUT UP DUMMY, I AM NOT DUMB
I AM A NORMAL PERSON, WITH A SLIGHT INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY, AND DAD
TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, MADE ME FEEL, LIKE A REAL LOSER, WELL
NOW DAD, HAS TO YA KNOW PROVE HIMSELF TO ME, AND BUDDHA WITH ADVICE
FROM ME, PUT DAD IN LISA CAMPBELL'S ******, AND HIS FATHER IS DAVID
CAMPBELL, TO TRY AND SHOW, ME, WHAT DAD WAS DOING, CAUSE, I REALLY
HATED, BEING TREATED LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY LIKE THE WAY DAD TREATED ME LIKE ONE, IT WAS SHOWING, THAT DAD WAS IN FAVOUR, OF THE HORRIBLE
TEASING THAT WAS HAPPENING, I THINK MY VOICES, HAVE MORE PROTECTION
THAN DAD, EVER COULD, I KNOW DAD, DROVE ME TO BASKETBALL GAMES
AND TO FRIENDS HOUSES, BUT THIS SQUABBLING WITH HIM AND MUM, GARBAGE
I REALLY HATED, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE DAD, AROUND MY HOUSE, I HATE
BEING TREATED LIKE A COOL KID TO A TEASE, TO ANYONE, I HATE TEASING
FUCKEN LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BIG OLD FOGIE, DAD, ALL YOU WERE DAD
IS AN OLD FOGIE, AND DESPITE ME TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU, YOU
STILL WANTED EVERYONE ELSE TO LIKE YOU, AND CARE ABOUT ME, I WALKED
AROUND CIVIC ALL NIGHT, CAUSE NATURALLY I WAS WORRIED ABOUT GOING
HOME AND BEING TREATED LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, SO I HUNG AROUND THE
CIVIC, TRYING TO BE A YOUNG DUDE, I TOLD DAD TO **** A LEMON, IN THE
NOTION, DAD WILL SAY, I DON'T WANT TO TEASE, BRIAN, BUT, WHAT IS WRONG
WITH ME HAVING AN IMAGINATION, IT'S BETTER THAN DADS ****** NOTION
OF ME BEING TOO SHY FOR THE REAL WORLD, CAN'T DAD MISS THE FUCKEN
NEWS, TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND, HIS SON, AS OPPOSED TO TRYING TO SQUABBLE WITH ME, I KNOW DAD HELPED, BUT I HATED DAD DOING ALL THIS
HE WAS A REAL ******, YEAH I WAS NICER TO MY MATES, BUT DAD WAS
TO ME AN OLD GRUMBLE ***, AND I THOUGHT DAD WAS A LITTLE SHY BOY,
ALL BECAUSE, I DESTROYED HIS AURA, THIS SHOW EXPLAINS, HOW I VISIONED
DAD BEFORE ALL THIS LITTLE SHY BOY CRAP, A NICE MAN WHO HELPS HIS
KIDS HANDLE THE REAL WORLD, BUT IN THE 80S, I VISIONED DAD, AS A
STUPID OLD KODGER, WHO IS SCARED, OF HIS KIDS GETTING TEASED
TAKING MY FOOTY AWAY, CALLING ME DUMMY, TRYING TO TREAT ME LIKE AN
ADUKT, NOBODY WANTS TO BE, STOPPING ME FROM BEING A YOUNG DUDE
IN THE WRONG WAY, I KNOW DAD TRIED TO HELP, BUT, I HATED BEING TREATED
LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY LIKE THAT, I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE IT'S ONE BIG
ADVENTURE, DAD, MOVE FUCKEN ON TO DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL'S FAMILY
WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS, STOP SAYING SHUT UP DUMMY, LET ME BE COOL, YO ****

PARTY ZONE WITH DAVE AND SUE JANUARY 3 2015







DAVID’     HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO PARTY ZONE, AND ON TODAY’S SHOW, WE ARE AT

THE AAA NITE CLUB, IN GAREMA PLACE, AND TONIGHT WE HAVE ENTERTAINMENT FROM

PETE NOWNEY, WHO IS PERFORMING AT AAA NIGHT CLUB, THEN SUE LONGWAYS

GETS A FEW OF THE CLUB’S PATRONS TO PERFORM A FEW DRINKING SONGS OF THEIR PAST

AND HERE IS SUE WITH ERNIE PIGFEST

SUE’,  HI I AM SUE LONGWAYS, AND WE HAVE A GREAT DRINKING GAME TO SING, OK ERNIE TAKE IT AWAY

ERNIE’   21 BOTTLES OF BOURBON ON THE WALL, AND A FULL BOTTLE OF SCOTCH

YOU BETTER GET YA COTTON PICKING HANDS OFF IT, OR I’LL PUNCH YOU IN THE GOB, AND MAKE YA A SNOB

YOU SEE DRINKING GAMES ARE SO MUCH FUN

YEAH, THEY ARE FUN, OH YEAH, YA SEE WE HAVE CHIPS AND BURGERS AS WELL

AND A NICE CAN OF BEER, OR JUG OF BEER, WHATEVER YA RECKON, MATE

IT’S GETTING CLOSE TO  HALF PAST EIGHT

SUE’   THANKS, ERNIE, AND HOP IN THE HOT TUB AND NOW HERE IS **** LEARY

****’  I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I REALLY WANNA MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA PARTY PARTY, AND I WANNA GET DRESSED UP AS A REAL SMARTIE

OH SLICK, YOUR A ****, YOU HAVE NO BRAINS, LIKE A REAL SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG, I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

GO QUICK, YOUR A ****, YOUR A BRAINLESS TWIT WHO IS SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA HEAD TO EVERY CLUB IN THE CANBERRA CBD

OH YEAH THIS IS THE TIME WHERE WE REALLY PARTY

COME ON GUYS, GET WIGGLY WITH IT GET JIGGLY WITH IT

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

SUE’  THANKS AND NOW OVER TO, YO  DAVID AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH PETE NOWNEY, HERE GOES

DAVID’   OK THANKS AND NOW PETE, YOU HAVE JUST FINISHED YA GIG

AND YOU GOT A FEW PEOPLE DANCING ON THE FLOOR

AND I HAVE THIS LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU, IT IS THIS, HAVE A PEAK INSIDE

PETE’   YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, A ***** DOLL

DAVID’   YEAH, BUT, IT’S NOT A ***** DOLL,

PETE’   NO, WHAT IS IT, SOME KIND OF TORTURE PRESENT FOR MY BIRTHDAY OR SUMMIT

DAVID’   NO, IT’S A ORDINARY DOLL, YOU ONCE TOLD ME, YOUR DAUGHTER LOVES DOLLS

SO I BROUGHT THIS IN TO SHOW YOU

PETE’  WELL, DAVID IT’S PRETTY RAD, I CAN GUARANTEE THAT MY DAUGHTER WILL LOVE IT

DAVID’   I NOTICED YOUR FIRST SONG, BEING THE LITTLE LOVE IN MY LIFE, IS THAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER

PETE’    NO, AND YES, NO IT’’S NOT MY DAUGHTER, BUT IT’S ABOUT THE MOTHER OF MY DAUGHTER, YA SEE

WE MET ON THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE, I NEARLY FELL IT WAS BAD, DUDE

DAVID’’     DID YOU GET TO SEE THEM ON CHRISTMAS

PETE’    YEAH, AND I HAVE MY DAUGHTER WITH ME, TO SING O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, YA SEE EVERY YEAR

WE CHOOSE A CAROL TO SING, AND THIS YEAR, O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, AND I KNOW IT’S JANUARY 3 2015

BUT I WOULD LOVE TO SING WITH MY DAUGHTER STEF, OK SHE IS 10 THIS YEAR

DAVID’   OK TAKE IT AWAY PETE AND STEF

PETE AND STEF’

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT

O COME YE O COME YE

TO BETHLEHEM

O COME AND BEHOLD HIM

BORN THE KING OF ANGELS

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

SING CHIORS OF ANGELS

SING IN EXULTATION

SING ALL YE CITIZENS OF HEAVEN ABOVE

GLORY TO GOD, IN THE HIGHEST

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

DAVID’  STEF, YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL VOICE, ARE YOU

PLANNING TO GO ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT OR THE VOICE THIS YEAR

STEFF’   WELL, I WOULD BUT DADDY AT P.RESENT WANTS TO BE THE ONLY SINGER

IN THE FAMILY

DAVID’   OK THAT IS ALL, AND NOW OVER TO SUE, WITH ANOTHER DRINKING SONG

SUE’   OK HERE IS ANOTHER DRINKING SONG, FROM KENNETH

KEN’   I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

YEAH, IT’LL BE FUN TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH HIM

YA SEE DRINKING COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

IS WAY WAY BETTER THAN DRINKING WITH KIM

CAUSE KIM IS A BIT OF A *****, AND CRAZY TO BOOT

I  LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON, AND SPEND ALL HIS LOOT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU, SUE

YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MANY BEERS WITH YOU

YA SEE SUE LONGWAYS, I REALLY ADMORED YA FROM A DISTANCE

AND WHEN YOU DRINK BEER AFTER YOUR 3RD OR 4TH

YA WILL LET OUT A MIGHTY BIG SPEW

IT WILL LOOK DISCUSTING, OH MAN, IT WILL OK

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU SUE

CAUSE YOUR A TRUE DUDE

SUE’   THANKS KEN SEE YA NEXT WEEK, NOW HERE’S DAVID

DAVID’   OK, THANKS TO ALL OF OUR SONGSTARS AND PETE AND STEFF

AND THE OTHERS, SO SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON PARTY ZONE JANUARY 3

New years eve, could be ******



You see I wanted to go to a new years eve party
Back in the year 1995, I wanted to celebrate the good old year
Where Carlton won the flag, I booked in to go to the Wests Rugby Club party
And, I was looking forward to it, yeah I was a real smartie
I started the night having dinner with my folks, and after dinner
When the doors opened, I went into the room
Where they had the new years party with the cool band who was called Electro
And we all danced to songs like Rubber Ball, Leroy Brown, Teddy Bear and the Bohemian Rhapsody, yes we all had so much fun
They played so many other songs, and yeah I was certainly getting down, yeah
Then they played some AC/DC tunes like highway to hell, you shook me all night long and TNT, those songs were cool and I practiced my headbanging to those songs, yes it was totally cool, dudes, and after about 1 hour he started playing party music
Like Ice ice baby and achy Breaky heart, I want you back and a Cold Chisel song, Flane trees, yes I loved them, and after that,yes there were songs like
Runaround sue and when midnight hit we played prince's 1999, but we said 1995, yes we had fun that night, you know partying to every song
And chatting up every chick, and also really letting our hair down low
And after it was over some people got worried that I was alone o. New years eve
And then I won a bottle of champagne and one man wanted to **** me
Yes, I know what he was saying, I ain't a mallakka, I have to lay low
For a while, and only go out to fun events, for families
And yes, I am still happy, cause I had a cool night

No you are still a young dude, even though


My stupid old mate from school, always treats me like a young dude
Even if he knows I will prefer to be a cool kid to the adults
And I mean the mature adults, because the young dudes he means
Are too immature for me, I know I am a man, and I ain!t too shy to be a man
And my friend needs to fucken get a life
Because screams out of his house saying, no your still a little young dude, man
Your not a cool kid anymore, man, blah blah blah blah
This drives me c r a z y, because I am in my 40s I am not young
I am a middle-ager who loves life, and I mean real life
Not this crazy life you see at the local malls
My friend from school is sitting there saying over and over again
Your still a young dude, mate, and he says that 100 times
Your still a young dude, your still a young dude, your still a young dude
FUCKEN SHUT UP, I want to be together, and not sit at the mall
Seeing this spontaneous atmosphere, structure works better
If you are structured, your mind is better, and my old school friend says
Be a little young dude, be a little young Dude, be a little young dude
I am a man, and I want people to be normal, not fake normal
Treating me like a shy person coming through
Cause I ain't a shy person, so mate, while your sitting there saying
I am still a little young dude, think about me, I am a real man
A creative man,  don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't do spur of the moment ****
So stop saying your still a little young dude, aren't young, I am a man
******* and leave me the **** alone, I ain't young anymore
You are driving me crazy trying to keep saying i am a little young dude
And when I go out and be a cool kid, he will say, 'laughing'
Yeah come on and try and be a cool kid to the families, come on
You see mate, you are shy, and the only way you are like us
Is if you watch me, and that is the only way, you aren't a normal man
So now mate, you are a little young dude, and then my school friend
Says to the townsfolk, don't be his kind of cool, cause he is still a young dude
And he will say after that, hang on and them say after I don't respond
No your a little young dude, and when my father yells our get ****** mate
And then he pushes his mouth side to side, thinking oh a little kid, he is
And then this friend says get ****** me, moving his mouth side to side saying the same
Then when i go out, he will say, no, your not like us, buddy, no your not like us anymore buddy, you are still a little young dude, oh baby, yes, you are still a little young dude, who
Really hasn't a pressure in the world, then I get up and work in the house
Or I will go and do something that is part of life, he will say no, don't muck with him
Anymore townsfolk, cause he is still a little young dude, yeah still a little young dude
And when I look at him, he will look at me and smile, to me I saw the little shy boy thing
As he is treating me like a cool person, cause I don't know what cool is
But really he is trying to stop me from being a creative person, and them I look
Around, he says, no, buddy, your still a little young dude, b. u. d.  d.   y
Your too shy to be like us, buddy, and I said, I am a man, because
He is the one who is too shy, cause he has no fucken class, dudes
You see if ignore him, my mind is full of the old men trying to call me a coward
And when they can't get it through to me, the young men will call me a ****
And I went around saying, I am not a little baby shy boy, you guys aren't like us, man
Then my friend says, no, your still a little young dude, man
You are too shy to be like us, buddy, your still a little young dude,,buddy
It's enough to drive you to drink and I did, at that moment I was so *******
At him saying to me, your still a little young dude buddy, I drank myself stupid
And it didn't fucken stop, my school friend sat there in his house
On the other side of the town, sat there smiling, saying, your a little young dude buddy
And then let out a very big smile, and your still a little young dude, your
In an imaginery little world, too afraid of the real world
I sit and think about it, what is the real world anyway, there is no real world
It's a world which is part imaginery and part real
And as long as you balance it well, you'll be so cool
But, at this moment in time, I ain't a young dude, I am a middle aged man with
A heart of gold, and when I go out, I see two kids playing at the shops
And then they leave, and they both say, your still a little young dude
And I say, no, dudes, I am a real real man, with a heart of steel
I don't get a license, cause for me, it's so unreal
The force is trying to give me cancer, but,no kind sir
I am too smart for that, uh
Then my friend came up to me and said, you are still a little young dude with no friends
Whose a little young dude with no friends, your a little young dude with no friends
Then you go to the local shops and you see kids hassling his their dad
For money to buy sweets, the father doesn't want to, he wants to be together
Cause that way, he will wonder whether, he wants to stay with his kids
Or does his kids act like little wimps,
And in the background, his friend says this, listen everyone as a young dude will say
Everyone he is a little young dude guys sure mate
And then he lifts up his leg and shows them off to his friend
And then says your still a little young dude, don't try and be like us
You see dude, the real world is so tough, so stay inside being a little young dude, ******
After about 5 minutes of trying to push everyone together
He will put his foot down on the floor, your still a young dude, don't try and be like us
Your not a cool kid, or a cool man, and I said no, *******, I am a man
Your are just mucking with the men, ya stupid ****
Then he will put his foot on the floor and say again, your still a little young dude
You are too shy to be like us, buddy boy
I told him I am a man, I go on holidays and I work and I try to find something around town
Cool to hang around and be civilized, but I aren't a little young dude, mate, I am a big man
Then my friend said, no you are a little young dude, buddy
And before I say I am a man, another person says that there a man
And then says, no your a little young dude buddy, what's your fucken problem
You stupid little ******* monkey, you and your friend ain't like us
Let's muck with these two losers and treat them both like people we want to muck with
And my friend got really hyped up over it, and said, that I am a little young dude
And then I told him that I ain't a young dude anymore, but he said, yes you are
You are a young dude, and I told my friend to leave me the **** alone
I don't want to be a young dude, I want to be a man, who wants to be together
You are keeping me with you, no I don't want to be a little young dude
I am not shy, I know the shopping centres have heaps of hustle and bustle
And I know that everyone will move down the coast if it was cheap
And I also know that it has to be expensive because it's the only way they will make money
I know that the labor party helps the poor while liberals help their poor wallets
I don't want to stay down with this crazy friend who keeps stomping his foot down on
The floor and says your still a young dude, your not like us, he says with a really wingey voice, and he does that for about 15 minutes and the men say, leave him alone mate, he is not a man, he is still a little young dude, buddy boy, he will never be a young dude again
While you are thinking that, he sits in his house saying good mate, be a young dude
But then he will stomp his foot right on the ground, and say, your still a young dude
You see, I don't want him to treat me like a brother, cause I don't **** people off
I don't need people to treat me like a shy boy who knows nothing
And then he says to me, no your still a little young dude, mate
And I go f......u......c.........k, leave me alone mate, I am not young anymore,  nobody his ******* with me, so shut it

Johnny Warren after life all-stars v the Saturn stringers




Johnny warren got together an after life soccer team with players like Don Bradman, as well as 2Pac, and even Christopher Reeve, also Elvis Presley, and Paul Berenyi, and Brett Eggins, we're all fired up to give Saturn a total soccer makeover, Johnny Warren alan picked Scott McDonald as well as Billy Thorpe and Tony Campbell and Saturn was a team who had some very good names as well, who are John FKennedy, Robert Kennedy as well as Martin Luther King, Walter Burley Griffin who has lived on Saturn since 1980, earth time, and never wanting to go , because Saturn has really nice homes where he can be a good athlete, also Jack Dyer and Tony Grieg and Chris Mainwaring made up the numbers.
So the game started and Johnny Warren started the play, passing it to Christopher Reeve, who is trying to bring Superman in with a really beautiful kick up the centre which is blocked by Martin Luther king, who passes it to burley Griffin who stops to look down on earth, to hear what a stupid professor is trying to say he'd like, and used his powers with a kick which made the goal, to put Saturn in the lead 1-0, the kick off came and Johnny Warren gave a big kick up which was intercepted by Jack Dyer, who dribbled it up the field, trying to stop the interception, by the other players, and then after that he passed it to Martin Luther king, who began to dribble it down a few more times, and nearly got a goal, but he missed,and the ball was intercepted by 2Pac, who ran right to the other side and kicked it in the goal, and it was counted, and that made the score 1-1, and 2Pac very happy and went to the crowd, and said, me and Johnny W, go back a long way, in afterlife sports.
The kick off happened as Martin Luther king kicked the ball over to John F Kennedy, who dribbled it further down the field, and dodged so many of Johnny Warren all star players, and finally passed it and the Johnny Warren Allstars intercepted it and John F Kennedy tried to block 2Pac the whole way, and he did and then John F Kennedy passed it to brother Robert and Robert ran down to the other side, dribbling the ball as he goes, but Billy Thorpe, intercepted it and ran down to the other side, with the ball and passed the ball to Johnny Warren who missed from right in front, and suddenly Walter Burley Griffin got the ball and dribbled it down to the other end, and yes, he kicked but it was saved very nicely by the Johnny Warren All stars goalkeeper, yes, this game was looking very good, you see these are only 1 half games,,because Johnny Warren wanted it that way, as Paul Berenyi ran it to the half way line and passed it to Brett Eggins who ran it down and as soon as he got to the goal line, he passed it to Johnny Warren who snuck it in to 2Pac who scored the Johnny Warren all stars second, and that made the score 2-1, with 2 minutes to go in the match, and the reason why there is no half time, because the players are the undead, and they don't need to break cause they can no longer be killed,
And Martin Luther king ran it down and flicked it across to John F Kennedy who passed it to Johnny Warren who was so excited he booted the ball all the way to the other side, and 2Pac knocked it in, to make the score 3-1, yes and this was really exciting for Johnny Warren and then Margaret Thatcher came into the field and Paul Berenyi booted the ball so hard, It hit Margaret thatcher right in the noggin,,and despite trying very hard to hurt her, she can't be hurt, but people can try to hurt her if they want to, and then Margaret Thatcher, left, saying I want that Paul Berenyi in Mercury, and then Martin Luther King scores a goal and at the end of the match, the score was, 3-2 to Johnny Warren all stars, and Johnny Warren sat down and had a talk with Paul Berenyi, and Paul said it's the after life coach, she can't be hurt, but Johnny, said I know, but we need to be nice to one another, or you Paul Berenyi will be locked in Mercury for all eternity, and Paul said he'll behave, and was let off with a warning.

Im in the real world



I'm in the real world, I'm in the real world
Just relaxing here doing my tapestry
You see people going out trying to hard to get away from their past
But that doesn't mean much to me
You see I'm in the real world, I'm in the real world
The posh and conservative life doesn't work for me
Cause I am in the real world, enjoying the real world
And I know I am respected and I don't care what the people who don't, think
Cause I am in the real world, the good old life of the real world
Yes, that is definately the right place for me
You see when I go to a pub just to have a drink, you see
And everyone seems to be teasing you,ok
And I don't worry about that, oh no
Cause I'm in the real world, the good old real world
And that is the place I want to stay
You see I have this imagination, man
And it makes me feel so happy, and
I watch the news and see people being robbed
And that makes me so unhappy, oh yeah
And that was the thing that made the real world seem hard
And I was feeling very bad, and my mind was afloat
And I wanted to stay with the crowd
I was putting on weight, being as slow and weak
And I was as negative as fucken ****
But I fucken turned my life around
And started to do exercise, and that made me so happy
Because now I can unleash my imagination
And be apart of both worlds, the real and imiginary
And then I feel so happy as can be
Cause whether people think that the world ain't happy
**** them, cause I am now in the real world
The mighty mighty real world, I am the happiest as can be
No turning back, oh yeah, let's get down

I drink a coffee to keep you safe



You see Bobby Farmers, was a simple man
Who loves to drink coffee all day
He'll drink it at work, and he'll drink it at play
And drink it all ****** day
He will find two siblings who are awfully shy
And drink his coffee and make them sit next to him
And then if they did, they were like us
And they went home, they were so square
You see the sibling who was like us
Teased the square one day in and day out
And made them so angry, that he will punch him
Then he'll have another coffee and then another coffee
And they will get drink another to keep this dude with the family
And if either of them drifted away from family life
He will send a kidnapper over and he'll tell them to grab them
And they'll be pulled right into the car
While the kidnapper had this sibling, the man sat their drinking his coffee
And still treated him like a cool kid
Saying, mate, I am a man, and you are a kid
And your still getting teased even if I have to kidnap you to tease you
And I will mate, I am not a little shy boy, dude
I will kidnap you and you will be dead before nightfall
Cause you drink a coffee, to keep you away from the dangers of the world