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 Oct 2012 Johnnie Rae
C E Nowlin
she made houses out of cards and pictures with old paints
her hair was never perfect and her lines weren’t always straight
the dresses in her closet were her own kind of mystery
the way she danced around in them for none but i to see
the private little corner where she used to read her books
became a sanctuary when the world within her shook
you watched the angel flit around you watched her ship sails waving
you held her hand and kissed her lips but deemed her not-worth-saving
this girl she fell she tumbled down she fell and fell and fell
she stumbled cried and nearly died for you did all but well
internally you robbed her bones you took her very life
but physically there was no crime in not making her a wife
no crime they said so you went free as if nothing could have mattered
you broke through the window pane and left the glass there shattered
she lay there in the broken glass the painful red-tinged shards
and remembered simple days and that house made out of cards
she thought back to the summers then before her whole life changed
and realized that no matter what she’d never be the same

when all along she had just love for clever words and pretty things
it was you you you who broke her spirit and you who tore her wings.
 Oct 2012 Johnnie Rae
K Crowe
The wind that chilled your mortal soul
Took love away from a love,
And with it chilled the heart of the man
Who loved you eternally

The kingdom by the sea that was, is now no more,
For you are what kept it alive
And you lay so selfishly in your sandy grave,
And he dreads everyday that he still wakes

It was not your fault, I know this to be true;
The angels above were envious
And they took you away from the man who thought
That you eternally loved him back
 Oct 2012 Johnnie Rae
K J
So let's add another numbed night to this comatose plight.
Searching for something meaningful at the bottom of bottles,
And striving for amnesia through entangling bodies.
This is the dance of the dead.
A decadent display of flesh and famine.
A hunger so primal that we've lost our appetite for
The more filling of feelings.
You're tugging at my heart strings,
But she's ripping off my clothes.
And the opposite embodied is a worse torture than most
Would care to know.
But I do have a thing for pain,
And you're the object of my infliction.
In this scar making moment, I'll succumb to that addiction.
But your mark is growing thin, love.
And the evidence will fade.
Your territory’s waning and you have no stake to claim.
These are the lies we lead in this life or something like it.
Barely scraping by until the day turns to night.
My calendar is filling and yours is bound to burst.
You can pencil me in if you're bored enough.
I'll accept through the hangover and give you sleepy eyes,
Knowing full well we'll both end up in another's bed tonight.
She'll touch my chest though it does not heave for her.
And I'll take a shot to make this feeling better.
She'll want to spoon but I'll push her to "your side".
And I'll say I'll call tomorrow, but when I speak, I tend to lie.
I'm taking up your offer on this latest lifestyle,
Where cowardly nonchalance is the most fitting attire,
And the heart that's been hemmed to my sleeve,
Is the most out-of-date accessory.
This game is treacherous, this game called "love".
My only wonder is: when we will stop playing ourselves.
 Oct 2012 Johnnie Rae
Tabitha
It flows thick at first,
but it runs fast down the hand
crimson fire, a burning sensation,
heating chilled skin

a lost feeling
a drugged up mind
the racing slows as the pain
crawls through the body
everything seems to relax

the voices are hushed
eyes roll into blindness
gushing out of the wrist
sheets are stained red

a razor falls onto the floor
a deep breath taken
a sudden realization
scary thoughts of the future

long sleeves and bracelets
band-aids and makeup
anything to keep the secret safe
to stay out of the asylum

keeping the ridicule and whispers at bay
not letting the rumors spark up
the dark passenger is kept away
until the monster comes back to play
 Oct 2012 Johnnie Rae
Tabitha
It wants me
It wants me back
It yearns for my touch
To feel the warmth of my skin

I want it
I want it back
To feel its edge against my body
Its clouding my mind

I would reach out it ****** it
I would reopen my wounds in a flash
But I have made a promise
To keep this feeling at bay

How much longer can I last
How much longer can I keep this monster trapped
The razor is dawning on me
It wants me back
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