Johnnie Rae

Johnnie Rae Apr 2015

It's been a day since we parted.
There is a hole in my chest.
Last night, I slept with
the teddy bear he surprised me
with on Valentine's Day.
Worse yet, I'm wearing the necklace,
he gave me for my birthday.

There are remnants of him, everywhere.

On Monday, I'll have to see him in class,
and act like I'm not broken without him.
Act like I don't want him back.
Hold back tears so he doesn't see.
And to think I swore against crying over boys.

He wants to be friends; I want to be his.

Just a few months ago we were cuddling in his bedroom,
now I'm stuck sulking in my own.
I miss the taste of his lips,
and the feel of his skin,
and the look in his eyes,
back when I set a fire in his heart.
But yesterday he snuffed out
the remnants of a dwindling flame.

I want him more than i've ever wanted anything.

Mar 2015

Krusty Aranda

After School

Hello, Alex. You look so good today. Like you did yesterday. Your smile is still as cute, and your eyes as shiny and hipnotizing. I want a hug now, and many kisses later. It's a demand.

She wrote these words in my notebook, in the middle of class.
I smiled and looked at her.
Sent her a kiss.
She blushed.

Next class we sat next to each other.
She was tired; stayed up late doing homework.
She would rest her head on my shoulder, and hold my hand.
I could feel the *butterflies in my stomach, and my heart racing.

After school we both went to her house.
She put on her pijamas, and got into bed.
I layed next to her, holding her in my arms.
She looked so calm and pretty.
I started giving her little kisses on her cheek, on her forehead, on her neck, on her lips.

Oh, her sweet lips!
She gives the most sweetest, tender and loving kisses I've ever had.
Her kisses are full of passion and care.

I could hardly breathe.
She has the ability to make me lose my breath.
My heart was racing, and she could feel it.
We kissed and held each other tight, marveled at how our bodies fit perfectly with one another.

My hands found their way under her blouse, drawing her slim silhouette with my fingertips.
Running down her chest to her stomach.
From her hips to her thighs.
Her skin was so soft it felt like velvet under my fingers.
She started doing the same to me.
Her fingers traced a distinct line going from my chest to my belt, and further below.

Her lips were still upon mine.
My breath still missing.

Her top was off.
My shirt also gone.
Her arms around me.
My arms around her.
Hands going under the clothes.
Heavy breathing.
Muffled moaning.
No more clothes.

Her body couldn't be any more perfect than it already is.
I was lost kissing her tasty neck, biting slightly, while I grasped her small, perky *******.
Her skin was so warm and cozy.
I couldn't get enough of her.

Me touching her.
Her touching me.
My breath was nowhere to be found.
I felt ecstatic.
I was in heaven.

After all was done, we both laid there, right next to each other.
She was still in my arms as we both tried to catch our breaths back.
We looked at each other in the eyes.
We smiled at each other and kissed one more time.

*I could've died in that moment.

Johnnie Rae Mar 2015

Smoke

When I picture you mad,
I see smoke coming out of your ears,
like it does from the far end of a cigarette.

The fire in your eyes is a different kind.

Johnnie Rae Mar 2015

The Fall

There are a few things I could probably never say,
like how the curve of your smile literally
shoots electricity down my spine,
or how your embrace is better than
any prescription a doctor could prescribe.
You are my sun,
and my moon,
and its scary because before,
the stars were like simple string lights,
and now they're cacophonies of light,
that give me hope when I think all dark has descended.
Your power over me is frightening.
It's like I'm walking a tightrope,
and you're a gust of wind.
If I have to fall,
I just pray you'll be there to catch me.

Johnnie Rae Mar 2015

Remembrance

The remembrance.
I'm clinging to the scent of smoke on your aged skin,
holding on like I'm hanging off the highest point,
on an unforgiving mountain top.
Less than three months and I'll feel the comfort,
and warmth of your lap,
that's so used to the weight of my sorrow,
and the salt in my tears.
Remembrance is all that's keeping me,
from slipping off the edge.
For a little less than three months,
remembrance will keep me together,
and then you will be home to mend me when I fall apart.

Johnnie Rae Mar 2015

Asleep (10w)

I would draw you,
If only my fingers
didn't shake.

Johnnie Rae Feb 2015

A Reminder as to Why I Left.

Remember how you used to hold me?
before the anti-depressants were needed,
and your mind was riddled,
with bipolar discrepancies.
I
have
h
i
m
for that now.
And as he lines my collarbone,
with the light kisses,
that will line my dreams,
'till morning light.
It's moments like those,
where I realize,
I spent a little too much,
t
i
m
e
looking for a reason to leave,
when the only one I needed,
was standing in front of me.