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Johnnie Rae Mar 2013
They say,
you can't hold the whole world at once,
but, once he's in my arms,
that fact becomes myth.
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
You are the master of deception,
and you haven't learned yet,
that girls are not to be messed with.

Am I seriously being played?

I am not a musical instrument,
I was not meant to be played,
Nor am I a toy,
I can't just be replaced anytime you find something better,
But don't be mistaken,
This doesn't put me in any sort of distress.

I'm just gonna move on,
because obviously,
to you I'm not worth it.
2.22.13
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
Filled with bones,
made for breaking.
Filled with blood,
made for circulating but is instead used for bleeding.
Given a heart made to beat,
but yet my pulse is slowly fading
I am dying. Just on the inside.

Some people can't handle a girl,
with hurt in her soul and scars on her skin.

For this reasoning, I lock myself up.
Heart and soul in a lockbox,
and I've thrown away the key,
leaving nothing but what you see.
A lock with no key,
and a heart left to bleed.
So no one can see this mess inside of me.

As for the scars,
I wear bracelets, and long sleeves.

Now, I congratulate you,
for you've met a girl,
who is very good at hiding.
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
I remember,
Burying my face in your neck,
As your fingers traced paths down my sides,
And clutched me, in a way that was so wrong,
But oh so right,

I wanted so desperately to be wanted.
So I let you bite my neck,
And leave marks for the memory,
Because you knew I'd wanna remember.

And even after all the trouble it's caused,
I can't lie, I have to say,
More than anything,
I want that feeling again.

I want your teeth to leave impressions on my neck,
And your scent to linger on my clothes,
And the taste of your lips on mine
You are now a craving I won't give up.
It's been almost three weeks.. I want that feeling back.
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
I yearn,
To feel the blade against my skin.
I need that metallic feel,
But I know I mustn't give in.
Because after all I've fought for,
It just wouldn't be worth it.

I wish,
I could just give it one more go.
Draw one more dark red line,
On the canvas that is my pale wrist.
But I won't succumb to temptation,
Because its gotten me nowhere in the past,
And it's also part of my current problem.
Plus, short term relief is a one way train to addiction.
And I don't need that.

Desires aren't always healthy,
That lessons been learned and reviewed.
Why on earth would I want to forget?
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
A flower does not simply die.
it is killed, by the very same thing that created it.
Soil. Though now, much less nutrient.

Its honestly quite ironic,
how the things that create you,
are also capable of destroying you,
like nothing.

I mention irony,
in terms of my mother,
whom is now using her bony fingers,
as knitting needles,
to bind my eyelashes together,
as if to blind me from the obvious.

She wasn't meant to be a mother.

No, definitely not a mother.
maybe a toddler,
whom spends her days nursing a bottle,
and then occasionally falling,
flat on her face,
whether its up the street,
or down the stairs,
her face has to leave blood stains somewhere.

She was meant to be alone.

Alone, so she couldn't,
**** the life out of anything that came near,
like she decided she would do to any ***** bottle,
that crossed her path,
dumping me on a road to destruction as she went,
and never came back to save me from myself.

Honestly, I don't know what she could've been.

I just know she gave up everything,
for a bottle and a good time.
shes the flower that sprouted early,
and died in the cold.
Johnnie Rae Feb 2013
Has anyone ever noticed,
As time goes by,
We not only grow older,
And wiser,
Matter of the fact is,
We get closer to the sky,

Or being put in the ground.
"I've been having this dream where we can fly, so maybe if we never wake up, we can see the sky"
Bulls In The Bronx - Pierce The Veil

^the line that inspired the poem.
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