To write about love
How I was right
About nothing of
The likes of dynamic
And the ways
Of the supersonic
Hearts and flowers
Mean nothing
When put against hot showers

Stop, go, keep on moving
I've never understood slow
How people could be so passive
Even though I am one of then
Afraid of that fateful leap
Too scared to jump
Too scared to stay still
But living inside of fear
Is hilarious when you can see the box
From miles and miles
Away

There was once a little boy
And his name was Michael
He liked to run and to jump and to play with his toys
But one day his world turned on him -- he was in his own Living Hell

He opened his mouth and tried to speak
Wagged his tongue but nothing worked
His gums started bleeding, his teeth loosened and became weak
The flies still buzzed and the birds still chirped
But poor Michael couldn't speak

I hear your voice.
It sounds cold.
And hear your steps.
I feel old.
But your words,
they hold me up.
Hold me down.
Let me see.
Allow me
to feel
what is there,
what is here,
and where we are.

Give me light.
Illuminate
the way.
For my eyes
are bad in the dark.
And all around us
night has fallen.
The Sun is just a memory.
The warmth it gives,
just a faint echo.
As I crash
into the bridge
that we used
to get to here.

I'm in the business
of killing feelings
like swatting flies
I swipe and slap
and they dance about
effortlessly evading my grasp

To die
Over and over again
In my head
In these moments
When things don't seem so right
No need to put up no fight

Let it wash upon your shores
The feeling comes over
And I know it's happening again
This struggle for the sun
Embrace the moon
For I know it'll all be over soon

It's a long, long trail
Carrying things I have for so many years
It's time to lose some weight
Take it all off and drop it on the sight
Change and transformation is never quick
But it's the only way I keep from getting sick

So this time I know how to work
I'm aware of the consequences
This is the part where I lose my head
Bury it beneath the loose dirt
Let it marinate for a while and
Twist the one-eighty, a chameleon again

He was a clown
He liked to **** around
Just flailing through life
Not caring enough to fight
Sailing blindly through troubled waters
And each day his strength seemed to faulter
The waves smiled at him in pity
He used to be but he's no longer witty
His mind dulled from lack of movement
He knew he desperately had to create his moment
So he packed his bags and headed off
The people behind him just scoffed and ****** off
Because he had no other options
He headed to the circus where the crowds were flocking

Heading on up and into the mountains
Where the beautiful trees and the endless fountains
Of his dreams were but a wisp of smoke
On which he was tempted to choke
But he ****** it up with the rest of the *******
And asked the owner if he could try his hand a bit
With no experience and close to no knowledge
The man gave him a break after he said he'd been to college
With that lie behind him and the mystery ahead
He smiled wide and tried to stand on his head
And he did, he did stand!
He jumped, and on his feet he did land
The man smiled back and clapped his hands
"I hope you can juggle, because, for you, I've got plans!"

on a long enough timeline
everybody wins
and everybody dies
everybody sins
and everybody lies

so now I'm just sitting
trying to graph out where I've been
to figure out when I'll be winning
this game that everybody loses
my hopes have been ground to dirt
and my love stomped and spit on
what I thought was there never really was
and so I'm left with an empty hug

it's cold now so I'm shivering
september's always been lonely for me
the coming cold keeps on hindering
the joy inside and dangling from a cliff
never dug myself out if so many holes
but this january proves september is nothing
taking me from shivering cold to smoldering human coal
but now that I've tasted the bottom
swirled the grass and dirt all in my mouth
i can say that I've seen the cold and felt the wind
I've stayed for a while at the coldest place I've ever been

i was flailing.
floating, barely.
my heart was tearing.
but i was landing.

i got better.
i impressed her.
like a lawyer
i convinced her.
i was the only one for her.

Money is a wonderful thing. I'll never deny that. Having the means to do the things you love is a great feeling. Not having the means is a pretty ****** one. However, having excessive, ridiculous, gross amounts of money, to the point where you don’t know what to do with it, is a problem. No one should have that kind of money. My dream is to live in an apartment with just a place to sleep, a place to go to the bathroom and a place to make food. Anything else, honestly, seems like a waste to me at this point. it takes away from what life truly is. it strips you of the feeling of being truly alive and prevents you from being at peace with yourself. Believe me, “success" is something everyone strives for, bleeds for and dreams of.

But success is a relative concept. In my opinion, realizing this and living your life knowing this is the greatest success a person can ask for.

I sat there, leaning back comfortably with my right leg draped over my left. My eyes were seemingly fixated of the dull glow of the television screen directly in front of me. I say seemingly because, even though it may have seemed like I was, I was not paying any mind to whatever imaged the screen offered me.
My mind rolled and humbly rumbled behind my unmoving eyes as all I could think of was you, sitting next to me, your right leg brushed against my left and with your right hand gently grasping my left. As I sat and thought about a conversation that was definitely due to come up very soon, you laughed and I was temporarily awakened to the present moment.
A man on the television was walking around with a bucket on his head through a crowd of people, desperately trying to remove it and had resorted to slamming his own head against the side of a table. None of the people even payed him any mind and just watched in silent neutrality as he harmed himself over and over with the help of that table. I smiled weakly and let out a slight "ha" but inside I was stirred by the scene.
Why would no one help the man? Why was he left to his own devices even though he was clearly in no position to be allowed to do this? Why didn't even one person just tell him to hold still while they plucked that bucket off of his head?
I let the thoughts pass through the corridors of my brain as I again drifted into the part of it that mattered more. The conversation we had to have had to do with the fact that we had to discuss the future of our being together. You're going away to college for the semester and I'm stuck here with a ****** job that I've yet to find and a lonely disposition that never seems to want to let up. I like you a lot; your innocence, your face, your body, your voice, your genuinely uplifting cadence of voice. But I'm not sure this can last. I've heard time and time again, though I've never experienced the situation myself for fear of definite failure, that long distance relationships never end nicely. I don't want us to end on a bad note like so many other girls who I've had the displeasure of calling my own. I want us to be good friends, if not lovers, because you're too good of a person not to have in my life. Though that may sound selfish, I don't believe it so because when you say things like "I miss you" and "You make me so happy" I'm forced to believe it because I can't imagine you would ever lie. To me, especially and in general, I think it's doubtful. You're too sweet, genuine and beautiful to lie. And lying is an ugly thing.
On that note I'm not sure if I'm willing to give us a try once you pack your bags and head to the country. I'm sure when we talk we'll be able to iron this thing out fully but for now all the thoughts tumbling in my head are enough to make anyone a little crazy. So I think I'll just grip your hand a little tighter, move in a little closer and peck your cheek to let you know that everything's going to be okay.

do you wanna die?
see everyone you've lost,
wash away tears with another good cry?
you walk around
with a monkey on your back
and the chip on your shoulder
has a formed a stubborn crack
that never seems to spread

fight or die, fight and cry
or cry and die
what you're saying
to play the game their playing
we can't and i won't
but you don't
you don't know
you don't know

refusal to fall into line
gets you on the unemployment line
not following the rules
gets you stripped, killed & ruined
but the turning point is close
this war is what they chose

so kiss me tenderly before i go
when the bombs drop, it's not for show
their aim is to aim fast and fire quick
while your buried deep in the thick of it
keeping up appearances holds no weight anymore
it never did, but now the rich are still rich and the poor beyond poor

Connecting the dots out of nowhere
This life has been quite a scare
Sudden realizations plague my being
Can't believe what it is that I'm seeing
The well was poisoned long ago
Radioactive molecules spreading through the air as it blows

What are you gonna do?
When there's nothing left to do?
How will you get off the floor this time?
When the easiest way out is a crime?

Nothing says "selfish" more than self-love
Look to the skies as they darken above
They don't want to see you succeed
They'll **** you right here, it's their creed
So sit down and shut up and be molded
When the bombs drop, like toilet paper, you'll be folded

strolling through the grass
patches of dirt sprinkled about
planting seeds of hope
the sun, the moon they shout
watch intently as they grow

gripping my talisman
waiting for my woman
peering through the within
this life is filled to the brim

sprouting up and out
evolution is man's best friend
jumping through time
the end is never the end
the end is never the end

We all dissolve
It's basic science
While we evolve
None of us are compliant
We're hurling through
Without any consent
Our **** is true
No point in dissidents

We grow like the grass
From infertile grounds
We just want to save our ***
From unholy sounds
No matter of belief
They don't care that we don't
We're just the falling leaf
In search of lofty retreats

I wanna be the first to know
I wanna be your number one
When your skies are grey
I wanna be your Sun
I wanna be the Sun

When I first met you
I knew you were different
Nobody thought it was true
But I had my sights set on you
With those big brown eyes
You'd look through your hair at me
Whenever I'd touch you
I could suddenly see
I could suddenly see again

Everyone loved to talk
About what they saw in us
I don't know what they thought
But behind us, always trailed a fuss
Bobbing heads and flapping mouths
Like they knew something that we didn't
We would just laugh it off
Those little hearty bouts
Oh how I miss your laugh

A flame flickers and hushes
At the **** end of a dead wick
I look right
And then left
And sigh to myself

The realization that permanence is a figment
Of imagination and the utter most wish of a fool
Sinks in deep and comes to the surface at once
The ever present prospect of this unnerves me

Yet
At the same time
Soothes me

it makes me cry
and i don't know why
sitting and staring
wishing i was a fly

buzzing around
up, down and down
i can't remember a thing
i can't hear a sound

The wind blew
The trees danced
The sky dreamed
The sun slept

The girl saw
And then sat
She thought of
That one place

Where everything was right
Sweet, kind, bright
The place where
Time seemed slow

And space infinite
Everyone loved her
They all laughed
And told her

Exactly how much
They loved her

But she knew
She was asleep

Chapter One: Bozo & Bonzo

The Goatman was a fat guy who lived in the old part of town where everything looked tired. No one around there cared very much about anything.
There were two bums who liked to hang around the train tracks over there. We started calling them Bozo and Bonzo. Bonzo didn't mind because he loved The Who and Bonzo happened to be his favorite drummer. Bozo did mind and would curse and spit at us whenever we'd say the word. He told us to call him by his real name (Charlie) but we liked Bozo a lot more.
Anyway, my friend Lawrence and I would give Bonzo and Bozo a quarter each for a recounting of a recent sighting of the Goatman. One day after school we decided to drop by the tracks to see if they were around. They were, and they were both **** drunk and stunk like wet dogs do after they come inside from the rain. Bonzo asked me if I wanted a swig from his flask and I shook my head no.
"******' *****, I knew you weren't the real deal," Bonzo muttered as he swirled his flask in a circle, as if it were an expensive martini.  
"I don't need your nasty backwash, thanks," I shot back.
"We want more information on the Goatman," Lawrence broke in.
"We have quarters," I added.
Lawrence took the 50 cents from his pocket and extended his arm. Bozo quickly snatched up the coins and laughed.
"You two hot for the Goatman or somethin'?"
"We're not gay for the Goatman," Lawrence says. "But we're definitely gay for finding out who the **** he actually is."
Bozo laughed some more but it came out as a hearty, borderline obese and drunk gargle/scoff.
"We saw him yesterday, believe it or not. I was takin' a **** in a bush across the street from him and he came amblin' out. I was too drunk to care much at the time but lookin' back, I shoulda been more scared," Bozo looked down at the worn boots on his feet and kicked the dirt. "He was carryin' a tiny plastic shoppin' bag, all neatly *******. After he went back inside I crept over and took it and just ******' ran, man," Bozo seemed distressed just verbalizing his encounter.
"So what was inside?" I knew he was getting to it, but I needed to know.
"Just some candy wrapper. Nothin' but candy wrapper. Butterfingers', 3 Musketeers', Pay Days. You name it, he ate it," Bozo completely broke down laughing this time. I'm coming to realize he is the sort of person who thinks he's funnier than anyone else seems to.

You've got to just run
Just ******* have some fun
Run until you beat out the gun
And go until you blank out the Sun

Play the game and pay the price
Live your life until it's right
When you reach the end of the street
You'll realize your life can't take the back seat

Walking home drunk, by myself
Thinkin' 'bout what's left on the shelf
And the money it takes to get there
How can I manage to even beat
The **** life loves shoveling on top of me?
Why don't I just see
That one more block will never let me
Let me, let me, let me be, let me see, let me be

The hole in my broken heart
Will never ever just let me start
Livin' the way I want to
And seeing the way I want to see you
So, I'm sitting on my couch now
Drunk with a pitiful slouch
And I just can't seem to figure out
Why I have this permanent pout

oh, blessed composer of words
with tact and skill you sweep us
off the edge of the wicked world

time doesn't slip by
when we consume your prose
it gets us, and keeps us, high

the holy and the god-fearing
have nothing on your heart
no one's love compares to yours

***.
Blood.
Teeth.
Irony.
Jesus.
Lifelessness.
The End.

The beginning.

The dead.
The complacent.
The clueless.
The finished.

The one's who don't know.
The one's who don't care.
The one's who never thought to know.

The stupid.
The selfish.
The stupidly brave.
The suicidally comfortable.

The one's who gave up on meaning.

The searching.
The tired.
The sick.
The joyless.

The one's who have accepted that joy is never permanent.
The one's who know grief and loss is the only constant.
The one's who know emotion is only a subjective thing.
The one's who keep living despite the horror.
The one's who end their lives to rid themselves of the horror.
The one's who know the end of their lives doesn't necessarily mean the end of the horror.
The one's who live knowing all things keep going, no matter if they're alive to feel it to the full extent.

The horror never dies.

it's the human dream
the "isn't what it seems"
the bottom, the underneath
the top and the below the beneath

On the ground
Or in the air
In the clouds
Or in the waves
He looked into the depths
Of these things all the same

He was a hunter
A warrior by birth
With his guns and his knives
And his hand to the Earth

It was in his blood
And he knew it was true
When he did his share of spilling
That blood, in his mind stuck like glue

To the skies and the mountains
The oceans and the trees
His pistol stayed warm
Even as the cold wind began to seize
The bears and the deer and the rabbits
In their tracks through the forest
He felt no regret, nor pain
As he gazed upon the crimson stains

One of my teachers
My favorite teacher
Once told me
"John," she said
"You're self-defeating."
And I looked
At her and
Blankly
I turned
It hurt
It cut
Me deep
Into my stomach
Because I knew she was right
And I knew
What I knew
And that was exactly
What came out
Of her *******
Mouth
But what she didn't know
Was that I couldn't help it
Still can't and
Still it cuts
Me like
Hamburger
And after
I walked back to my chair
And suddenly
She wasn't
My favorite
Anymore

She'll never know
how I truly feel.
Because I go
about my business
swiftly and silently.
My heart feels
locked up like
it's been sentenced
to 25 to life.
And there's nothing
I can do to end this strife.
It's like a burning Hell
inside of my head.
She rings my bell
and I feel dead.
But I'm not.
I'm still breathing.
Feeling kind of hot.
Bobbing and weaving
through the jungles
of my love.

My deepest regrets
And most woeful sorrows
Are drowned away
And swept beneath
The sands of time
The fleet of moving, non-stop moving

To live in the moment
Is to feel to weightlessness
The thoughts moving in and out of your head
Like traffic jams and the ocean waves

Nothing can stop you
No nothing can
If you just keep in mind
That everything goes
Just as it comes
Keeping form is not the way that anything works

Keep it positive
The mental negatives
My prerogitive
Is to stay positive
Oh I'm positive
I'll be positive
Until the negative
Tries to take it away
But it'll never win
No, it'll always lose

I don't do this for me
I don't do this for you
I don't do this for my friends
I don't even do this for my family

I do this for peace
I do this for the future
I do this for balance
I do this for life

For it helps the signals from being crossed
For it helps hate from spilling into love
For it helps calm the the brewing sea
For it helps the bomb realize that fear is more benficial than death

Things never seemed so right
as when you and I were in the fight.
Facing the wind together and
banded together, always and forever.
But things change just like that wind
and when it picks up, it carries us forward.

So avert your eyes against the light,
the light that breeds the hate and slight.
For in the dark we find ourselves
and in ourselves we find our footing.

Plant your feet firmly, babe.
I'm sorry I wasn't ready for this.
Just let your fears carry on.
Close your eyes and your thoughts are mine.
Now, I can't really help with that.
But I know all about things like that.

I used to see him at night
When everyone in the house was asleep
I'd be awake, shivering and shuddering
Waiting for the man who'd always make me weep

Now I know how it sounds
Unbelievable, and all
But I know what I saw
What I heard, his nightly call

He'd emerge from the darkness
In the corner of my room
Ask me how I was doing that day
And then inform me of my doom

He said I was a bad boy
And that I deserved to be punished
Said that everyone I loved
Someday, would vanish

The more he'd speak
The more I'd weep
And the more I'd weep
The more he knew he had me beat

He'd tell me everyone I loved would leave
And that I'd be stuck here all alone
Reluctantly taking what horrors came
Shrouded in black even as the Sunlight shone

Everyone has a set time
He'd say everyone's heart was just a "ticker"
That each one only had a certain amount of tocks
And that all profound connections were just mindless bicker

Nothing matters and nothings real
That we lived in a place that only the naive could survive
No one loved me and no one ever would
Everyone's just passing the time until they eventually die

But I was so young
What was he to expect?
Like I was strong enough at seven
To second guess his promises and bets?


When I got older though
He mysteriously stopped showing
I grew into a happier person
But all the while knowing

I learned the truth
About life and about death
From the first time I saw him
When through the shadows, he first stepped

What really scared me
Even as I aged and matured
Was that he'd come back
Emotionally torture me some more

Even though he didn't
I haven't seen him in we'll over a decade
Whenever someone I know stops breathing
I think of him brewing the poison in my head he made

a stupid sucker sailing disgraced seas
finishing every sentence with thank you's and pleases
i never knew i'd grow to be so **** meek
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next week

troubles and failures are piled and bunched
eating stale potato chips for breakfast and lunch
i feel like i'll never be able to get up
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next month

crank open the hatch and pour down the beer
never got the concept of saying "cheers"
my muddled thoughts are always clouded by useless fears
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next year

you said you'd climb mountains
but you don't have any boots
i'm a skipping stone
no telling when i'll sink
when the sky is spilled and splashed
it's always harder to think

over the mountain the grass is thicker
but the color is up to interpretation
i know you've only been getting sicker
enamored by ideation
but the facts pack a punch
count your dead and carry on

Sitting silently
by the
old willow tree,
I heard a knocking
through the thick,
rustic bark.

My thoughts drifted,
thawing the frigid
quiet in my mind.
For there was naught behind,
nor in front,
of the old willow tree.

"What could it be,"
my mind asked me.
"And from where is it coming from?"
And then, from above,
there was a deep, low hum.
A light flashed, and I was
blind.

No, I'm not really scared
I don't see the point in being frightened
Being strong can't compare
In the end you are enlightened

I'm just so happy to see you here
Nothing can curve my mind now
Baby there is no fear
Don't be afraid, I can show you how

Looking back in anger is so tempting
But at the end of the rope is nothing
When you've completed what you've been attempting
It's so fulfilling to know that you're the only thing
Still standing

Because all you have is you
Trust is a trait that the naive hold dear
And you know it's true
The only thing is you that you have to fear

The great lengths that you endure
Are what the lines in your face stand for
So just keep the light flowing through
Just keep on being you

Raise the stakes
Beat the odds
Hit the breaks
Its so odd
To be stuck in the center of a seaside ceremony
And be left as the one and only, the lost and lonely

But I've gotten better
Made my way to
Where I first met her
False has been proved true
But again I'm left to pick up petrified puzzle pieces
And its okay, because the pain, it eventually eases

I trudged along the lake
With your eyes on my mind
And my feeble attempt
To make sense of the signs
That you so generously held up
When my body shut down
And in your hand was that cup
Of foamy poison
Known to make you make a fool of yourself

I burst into the bathroom
Splashed the water on my face
I never thought you'd think
You'd find solace in this place
But you, grinning and laughing
Didn't think I'd take it this way

You're just a poor and lost soul
Trying to find your way in the sand
But sifting through your fingers
And making a mess of your hands
Is black sludge
The kind you find when you can't
When you think you've lost it all
Then through the haze comes the band
Of outsiders
Who know your troubles all too well
All they can do is hold you close as your heart swells

So next time you find someone who thinks they know you
I know you'll think twice, maybe even thrice
Before you let them through your rusty gates
Put them through your elusive games and pay the price
Make them find you before they **** you
With their beautiful gaze and heartwarming grace
You know better too
But all my hopes of your newfound knowledge
Have all dripped down the drain
Past the bushy hedge
And into the permanent part
Of my head

Alive when the sun goes down
Nothing to stop me now
Just a king without a crown
And I can help you get found

Since you lost your sense of sight
Everything seems like a blur
Since you lost your will to fight
You asked if I could help, I said "sure"
But I haven't seen your face since then
The only question on my mind is "When?"

I'm not claiming anything mystic
But I've been known to help a soul or two
I'm nothing to be noted, nothing all too prolific
Though I have been known to pick and choose
I'm telling you now, I'm a different man
I'm telling you, now I've got a fool proof plan

The wind blew
In and took whatever it pleased

The houses and cars
The hopes and dreams

The people flocked to corners and
Gas stations and the homes of those unaffected

But the damage was done
And the price was paid

The only thing to do now is wait
Wait and see

For when Mother Nature thinks it's time
Everything must go and even words that make no sense
Must still come together to rhyme

The outside was clean
No one thought any bad
He was nice and not mean
He had a way with words everyone wished that they had

But one morning he awoke with a chill
And opened his mouth to find something black
Confused and startled, he climbed the cemetery hill
But his whole body was out of wack

He moved in a frightening way
All his limbs going limp
And when he asked someone to stay
They said "No, you're a gimp!"

They all avoided him
And this made it worse
Henry, Lucy and even Tim
He was convinced he was cursed

With his insides darkening
And his entire being crumbling in
He found himself harkening
For anyone who would listen

But no one did
No one came to his aid
He was only a kid
But to play with him, all the parents forbade

They feared him contagious
Like polio or the black plague
They thought him outrageous
Because he preferred to dwell in the shade

It was only his way
And he didn't know why
He'd moved on and they stayed
And at his brain, they pryed

They tried to figure him out
They failed and gave up
They said they would talk but instead it was a shout
He didn't know what was up

No one knew what the matter was
So soon he was forgotten
He felt like furry peach fuzz
On the outside of a fruit that was rotten

My thoughts, they climb
To the sky each day
Trying to trap them
Always finding a new way
In despair there is hope
At times, you're ***** and got no soap

Where there's a path, there's a fork
Or two, eventually
Always got to stay keen
And tread steadily
For the oils run dry, all over the floor
The rich never really try to feed the poor

What's wrong with this picture?
When will they learn?
If you grow up in silver and gold
Then what do you yearn for?
Caring only for yourself only gets you so far
If you keep cutting yourself with glass, it'll always leave a scar

If only there was a way
Something to make a deep impression
Someone to take you by the hand
And teach you this lesson
But no, your stubborn nature always wins
No, no, you don't see that this will be your end

These walls have so much to say.
Bleeding through the color and the grime.
That sinking feeling when you pray.
Hands clasped, eyes closed tightly.
With tears streaming down your cheeks.
Cumulating in a sick puddle on the floor.
I've been shipwrecked for weeks,
now, at the bottom of my brain.
All I see are these old bloodstains.

In times of duress,
4 AM and I'm stressed.
Backtracking and I guess
all the times that you pressed
me to express something more than ***
made me all too aware of my inadequacies.

Limping down the path with my shoes untied.
What I thought was the way of least resistance
turned out to be a farce, a joke, a big ******* lie.
But now I'm on the mend at the end of the road.
Kicking up dirt and choking on erratic words.
Now is not the time to offer your verbal guidance,
it's not like they're something I've never heard.
In search of something more stable and concrete,
I start to feel them growing - the wings of a big, black bird.

Jennifer didn't get enough sleep last night. She was up until 3 AM writing a book report. She just finished her fourth cup of coffee with cream and extra sugar. She's starting to get the shakes.

Bobby fidgets nervously in an unnaturally comfortable seat in the waiting room of Dr. Stein's office. He got drunk last weekend and decided it would be a good idea to have *** with a girl who's known among as friends as "The Town Bus." She's a rather large girl whom almost everyone Bobby knows has had a go with. Bobby does his best to resist the urge to relieve the itch centered around his nether regions that introduced itself two days ago. He resists the urge successfully and continues to squirm in his seat. He's starting to get the shakes.

Ian looks down at the empty black garbage bag on the floor in front of him. He turns his head to his right and peers into his shadow-ridden closet. He thinks about the girl he met at the park last night. Her name was Mallory and she had such beautiful brown hair and blue eyes. Ian picks up the empty garbage bag and pushes back rows and rows of other bags, hanging neatly and silently in his closet. They're all filled, so Ian has to muster all of his strength to push them to the end of the rack pole. He mounts the empty garbage bag onto a hanger and hangs it next to the rest. Mallory, sweet Mallory wafts into his thoughts again. Ian runs his hand down the smooth black plastic, hanging solemnly, and empty, before him. It tells him it's disappointed. It tells him it's hungry. Ian hasn't killed anyone in three weeks. He purses his lips and looks down at his hands. He's starting to get the shakes.

the living are
the envy of
the dead

the dead are
the mystery of
the living

the times are
the frustration of
the awakened

the awakened
the enemy of
the sleeping

the sleeping are
the friends of
the powers that be

the powers that be are
the bane of
the entirety

Awaking
To the thought of your face
Sleeping
With your heart in my heart's place
Dreaming
Of your hand in mine
Wishing
That you just had the time

You tell me that you're happy
And you're not willing to compromise
You made it clear that you're good
And I've made a point to tell you I wish you were mine
I wish we were "us" and I hope that we will
One day walk into the light and let it all fill
The spaces in my chest where love used to dwell

The ghost of fulfillment
The specter of satisfaction
The gist of universal lament
The soft-spoken takers of action
Gonna take over the world of old
Gonna press it till the old world unfolds

The shaking knees of the wronged
The darting eyes of those with a motive
The **** has piled up for too long
The deadweight of the sinful impulsive
Gonna free all wrongly accused
Gonna show you all the winners that lose

So just open your mind and your eyes
So you can make a conscious decision
So don't hover 'round it like flies
So just acknowledge all this derision
Gonna take out all your worldly pain
Gonna show you that the world's now a stain

Better not ***** this up
Keep your head on straight
When the wind blows you better not ****
Just put your head down and swallow that hate

In the position I'm in
I try because no one else cares to
Everyone's a ******* slack
All I hear is boo-hoo

Your dad might have been absent
And deranged is too kind a word for your mom
But you better save up because you're about to get spent
Next order of business is to make like a bomb

But you gotta keep your cool
Light the fire and freeze the ice
Take a little dip in the memory pool
And pull out something nice

I feel it everywhere
The sun hung above smoke
Life sizzling in air
Breathing hard fending off a choke
But the bony hands grip tight
And garden through the night

Warmth is frozen
Just as the camera snaps
What I've chosen
Comes with silent thunderclaps
And when the rain descends
It tells me that it always just depends

Pose like you mean it
Look like your hungry for exposure
Turn your head like you've seen it
The light that comes and goes
The sunlight always gives birth to rain
Just as the insane give birth to the sane

Things never seem right
When I dream
And when I awake to the same sane me
I'm not so sure you can see what I mean
But what I want is to dream, dream, dream

Forever gripping the rails of sleep
Because inside of it I can do as I please
Lurid visions, fascination
A welcome break from monotony
Everyday seems so dull
Compared to when I'm in my bed
When I awake I am struck with wonder
How could my brain take me so far under?

The things I see
The things I hear
Some weird combination
Of hope and fear
If sleep has taught me anything
It's that anything can be anything
And everything isn't what it seems
Turn it around and upside down
Then look it through a telescope
A microcosm of possibility
Shame and humility
Oh, the things, the things I've seen
In my sleep