awake
alone
night
and day
even the cats
who awoke me
have abandoned me
know better than me
how to satiate their needs
ruminate on my plight
stare at the harsh light
of a tiny screen
that casts no warmth
no comfort
illusory connection
nothing more
than a window
to mew at

Silent explosion
Not a sound
To accompany
The detonation
Fragmented
Bits of life
Strewn around
A place
That can no longer
Contain
It's concept
Unsafe
Unwelcoming
Too tired
For triage
Tired of stumbling
Through this
Endless
Minefield

I see you clearly
You cannot hide it
Not like me
Like me
Although you do not know
We're both in the same show
Every cell in my body
Buzzing
An Atomic level
Of anticipation
Waiting for their big
Debut

You are not well
You are not yourself
Not anymore
From this pivotal point
Your sense of self
Will be in flux
As you struggle to
Redefine
You
All the while
Wondering
If it is
You
Doing
The redefining

wait
be patient
waiting room
out patient
hospital remainders
bland art walls
endless beige carpets
down narrow clinic halls
door after door hiding
other peoples lives
suffering
white noise
appointment to appointment
slowly cycle thru
the medical digestive system
please hold
describe your pain
numerically
so we can assist you
mathematically
your story
your self
one to ten
in under fifteen
this is not a bill
but you may be reprehensible

They say
Your  life
Flashes before your eyes
In the moments before death
Your mind
Slowing the perception
Of time
Struggling to piece together
How your entire history
Led you to this
I look back
Wistfully
On a youth wasted
Looking forward
Wishfully
How did I miss
Their junction?
I think
Death will be
A moment in time
For which I will be
Present
And accounted for

What are you thinking?
Eyes fixed on mine
Your pupils
Pulling mine own into focus
From a million miles away
Their gravity
The gravity
Where was I?
A vast wasteland of a universe
Footsteps upon footsteps
Feeling I've been here
So many times before
Feeling I've been here
Too Long
I forgot to stop
Treading along
This path
This earth
The gravity
Finally pulling me down
Pulling me out
What are you thinking?

nothing