In the heat of the moment
that lasted a lifetime
I was hers
and
She was mine

but a lifetime isn't long enough
and yet I found
that I was strong enough
to carry the weight of our.
world
on my shoulders

The mind grips tight
holds on to the what might
but the what might was last night
and now it is the morning.

woke up yawning
saw no chasm
this will be a lucky day.

showered and shaved
saved
breakfast 'til last
then
realised I have to work,

still feeling lucky
but *** me
no rest for the wicked.

Trying to take it all in
hashtag grin or gin

for the beginners
sit there and pray for us
because
there is nothing else to do

we're through
down the drains
in handcrafted chains
not made in Britain
but
more likely India,

imported coal
and
that's just another hole
to bury us in,

hashtag grin or gin.

Are they all glamorous
and if so
what about us
the **** it in brigade

We who raid the fridges at midnight
hold our bellies in tight and buy ever
tighter trousers

from when we we're a pup
until our old age
the waist sizes go up

and those plans that we made
what happened to them
what happened to us that we
became old men?

Anyway
I'm beyond caring now,
and
letting my beard grow
allowing my hair to go where it will
still wondering
if they are all glamorous.

They tell me that the weather is changing
but changing or not, it'll still be the weather.

Buy British?
inward looking

I sometimes wonder
who's cukin' who
and who's the cuckoo?

The world is global
although
it doesn't seem to want
to be
perhaps
a pre-frontal
lobotomy
or maybe not.

Meanwhile
there are plenty of studies
by buddies of buddies
that pay very well and
tell very little.

Yes
I saw it,
but only when I wanted to
and even then
I never believed that
it could be true
and yet I knew
that it was.

Life
is just because it
can be
and we
have no control
over it,

we can only see it
through our own eyes.

Tuesday's child is full of grace
well
that didn't work out
did it?

Tuesday
1 May 1956

In
that space
between old age and death.

I am
not here or there
but liminal
yet always where
the sun shines.

Wouldn't it be nice to go paddling in the sea
like we used to do when we were four,
( thought it was three, but no, it was four )

My memory like a magician, plays tricks on me
but
wouldn't it be nice to go paddling in the sea.

This mindless ***** just caught his toe on
the corner of the table.

I need my eyes adjusting so I bought some
bi-focals
which turned out to be straight focals.

Oh it's a joke
I said to the bloke
who got offended by that.

These are troubling times,
but when haven't they been?
war
conflict
the flesh being picked
from our bones

not much hope
when we are left to rot
when
those who have got
refuse to give

whatever happened to
live and let live?

Led to the meadow  
She lays me beside the hedgerow
I hope She knows what She's doing,
Aha
the kettle's boiling, She shouts

I wake
and that's always the way.

Can't write bugga all with this EpiPen.

cheers in the background
as someone shouts.
at last.

Work
taken in small doses
is
one supposes
good for the soul.

The Methodist in me
is quite primitive and
I'm not sure if
primitive Methodists
made the cut

aha
there but for the Grace of..
..sod this for a lark
I'm tired
It's dark and another
workday tomorrow.

The fact never bothered me
that I was just a story
said Dorothy.

The witch prowled
Toto growled
the tin man clanked
the lion was bored
and the scarecrow
was preaching the word

and it doesn't bother me
because I can be
the Wizard, the lion
or the witch
in the wardrobe.

dontya just love a touch of fantasy
where even the eyes of potatoes
can see the tractor coming.

Whatever
it'll never matter
it's just the way
things
turn out to be

but I can't sit back
when all I believe in
is under attack
it's not right
and not the way
It should be,

they'll say
that I'm a troubled child
and that I
grew up somewhere way out in the wild
but they'll say
what you want to hear from them

but It never matters as it never should
the only good things
come out from doing good
and I know
I always did

What pill?
when the will is as strong
as the day is long,

nothing endures as long
as long lasting cures.

they would say that
wouldn't they?

pharmacology
is after all
just another ology.

Just sneezing
and wheezing
and easing into
old age

*******
I should be enraged
but
I'm quite comfortable
and
getting comfortable
in
my easy chair.

Is it fair?
do fish fornicate?
are buses often late?
do I fukin care?

Headache
earache
maybe some
beer intake
will cure me

She says as She often does
when push comes to shove
don't be standing on the edge
of a cliff.

I am so lucky to have such
an advisor
and
She's just given me a ticket
to visit
Beachy Head.

That myoclonic ****
is somewhat of a perk
when your body's on
the way
to wherever bodies go.

I know that some
will google now
and wonder how
they never knew that
the
myoclonic was a part
of you

Who's a **** now?

Nobody told us
that we'd grow
into
the old us.

It's ****
but
I'm absolutely down
with it

wouldn't want to be
young again
and
have to go to
school again.

Still
they could have
let us
know.

The road ahead
dead
'cept
for the shadows that race across the face of the man that wanders alone, and the sun barely risen, it could be an interesting day, could be enjoyable in so many ways.

The road ahead,

I am led here blind
seeing nothing
feeling nothing
hoping for everything
grateful for anything,

some thing or something touches me
and I shiver
yet still warm from the sun,

'son of a gun'
I'm only dreaming.

There's a dog barking
or it could be a dog fox
I don't care
I can't find my socks

morning dark and
it's too early for a stroll
in the park
so
here I am
the barefoot man,
the barking goes on.

Breakfast would have been curds and whey
but I bought fresh milk on the way home yesterday
so
It'll be corn flakes,
sugar is optional
which I find to be unusual
but what do I know?

work then at noon until ten
I think that
they're taking the proverbial,
short of staff or Falstaff?
either way
I'm not laughing.

however there is
lots to be thankful for
like
bars on the windows
heavy-duty bolts on the door
sometimes
I wonder what the police force
is for

the inner voice says,
to keep the doughnuts
safe.

Today
started well enough
and I thought that
I'd do some stuff
but
look at it now

overcast

**** and blast
I'll
have to do nothing
which I'm very good at.

I gambled with my life
it seems like I won
and yes I'm still here
looking for some fun

then when I thought I was done
with the odds on chance of being
She
in her wisdom
taught me
how I could be free in

a world
that She would be in
for me.

Too much alcohol
that's why I'm weary
and my eyes are bleary
not because I'm weary,
but because I've just
woke up.

round and round in
bags under the bags
under my eyes
I'm old
so
that's no surprise

I've seen too much
and someone
at the back of the
theatre
shouts
so have I
get off the stage.

She
told me that I needed to relax
relax?
that won't help me
after last night
I need therapy.

I put words down on paper
which is an escape from
speaking them out
loud.

Struggling through Australasia
thought I might go to
Antarctica
if only because it's probably cooler
but
don't let that fool ya
I'm a hardy all-weather sort of dude

ya
should have seen me in Ethiopia
and in India
during monsoon season.

My reasons are global
we are all the noble one
the one's that go on
until it stops.

Woke
and thought it was Sunday
was getting ready to pray
realised it was Saturday
went back to sleep.

What if
the life that we find
existed on Mars
****** up their planet
and found Earth
to colonise

and we forgot
so we find a planet
that
may now be suitable
to settle on.

When we get there,
there
will have moved far away
and we'll be no nearer to it
than we were on the day we started.

But if we had fun
it will have been worth
the ride.

She cooks breakfast
I wonder
if I can last that long
She says
Darling, no hurry
I'm doing it for you
so
don't worry,

but I'm thinking of
breakfast
and
nothing else.

We become fractious
and
that shower are getting
anxious
revolution is in the offing
unless
they decide to off us

nothing is improbable
and they'll find a way
to make us culpable

they are
***** rotten scoundrels
which is a polite way
of saying
thieving robbing *******.

When you realise that
Facebook
is full of lies.

it'll get bigger
you'll last longer
our gummies are stronger

*** them.

your skin will be clearer
spots won't dare to go near ya

*** them too.

A million chances to win big
low entry cost

and **** them too.

lots of scams
take your pick
I'd take a *****
and bury them.

I am not Joe 90
I am John
and nowhere near
to that age.

******* cartoons
they plague me
with that
come, play with me,

I am not Joe 90.

Of course, we all have dreams
but we get weary and need to sleep

Fantasy is make-believe made believable
in those hours we find incredible

hallucinating?
no
I'd say
rejuvenating and
somewhat exhilarating
and then
wake up and find the news debilitating
everyone protesting
but we're all trying to do our best in...

...I'm going back to sleep.

If there is such a thing as the minimum standard
that lot down in Westminster would come in below par.

higher cost of living
heating
eating
they are beating us down so we have to
look up to them.

The benefits system may indeed need overhauling
but
that shower of shrimps needs keelhauling.

I'm going fishin'.

Wednesday
and why wouldn't it be?

Work day for you and a
workday for me

we are chained to be free
She says
I have the key
so
I'm going to be nice to her
make her tea and give up my
comfy chair,
but
I'd do that anyway

workday or not.

When we play them at their own game
they say that we're fukin insane
then they change the rules of the game
and they still say we're fukin insane.

Well *** that motley crew
although I'd rather not
because to be honest
I've got better things to do.

In ten years time
we'll all be doing
ten years
and His Majesty
will take his pleasure

if you haven't yet got the gist of it
missed the finer points and got ******
off with it

We are for the knacker's yard.

taking the time is no longer viewed as a crime
when you're past your sell by date,

of late
I've been procrastinating
waiting to see what the winds blew in.

I'll stop and be forceful, and I'll also be thoughtful
don't want to tread on anyone's toes.

Tired
like a treadmill that's used too much
need a break to take that time
for me and mine.

Not a hair out of place
nor any lines on your face
time
has yet to write your story

It's all about being ready
getting set to go,

I don't know
what all the rush is for,
we've all been here before
we all know the drill.

Born
crawl
stand and walk
open mouths and talk,

age.

the stage has been  the things
we have seen and done
and then the sun sets,

we'll be back to rush again
forgetting all the pain
ready to push through again
we all know the drill.

They'll put it down to you
forgetting who you are.

I don't forget
I remember.

August 3rd
1989
too much wine
so many songs
****** in the air
righting all life's wrongs
but we were young men
young then
anything
was possible.

We never thought
we'd get this old,
old as in
stories being told
about us,
but we did and we're here
listening
with one ear
the other
on the clock
tick
tock
rock of ages
because we all pray
in the end.

I can do Monday
done it before
will do it again.

It's always after the weekend that the fun ends
and the work begins,

although if one is unemployed perhaps it's always the weekend,
this point is weakened by the lack of finance available
.
I should thank those lucky stars for giving me some work to do.

..and now I'm wondering if all stars are lucky or just the ones that I wish on and if so how do stars know?

****
I should have another coffee.

Should I dig the garden
or
dig for treasure?

there used to be gold in the old days
but it was sold off to China along with the silver,
Long John was none too pleased about that.

So
the garden it shall be
just me and a *****
and a fork
and a rake
and a strimmer
I'm already thinner just thinking about it.

She tells me to grow up
ha
hardly likely when I'm nearly seventy
but who knows
it could happen.

A sprinkling of wrinkles
and a twinkling in the eyes.

Spring
that thing
yes
the spring thing.