He said they put him into the ocean
which sounded a bit fishy to me

but to me, even the sea sounds fishy
and what do I know anyway?

In that quaint elderly way
I've had a really nice lazy day,
I could get used to those.

and now it's a quarter to
and still nothing I want to do,

I'd better not think of going anywhere this evening
there's a basket of ironing out there
but for now
the slippers are on and I'm back in the old
easy chair.

...with the dogs that carry fleas...

they're at ease and like peas in a pod, I plod onwards going forwards and scratching occasionally.
and sometimes when I look back I can see the third man even if it isn't snowing,

She says,
what are you going on about?

I tell her that sometimes I had four or five books on the go at a time, delaying that excruciating moment of turning the last page.

I don't want the 'spirit in the sky' when I die
I want a library in the sky
I want Mum's apple pie
I want to see
if the never ending story ends.

meanwhile
Chaucer makes a good companion
and he's quiet.

We all know that pains come and go, but they're just
a reminder that there are better times out there
looking to find you
and we all should believe that they will.

love may be blind but we all go looking to find it,
look at me, as pernickety as any man could be
but even I could see what was good for me.

Whoa
I've had too many cornflakes
I'd better put the brakes on
or heaven knows
I might break out in a song
which is better than breaking out
in a rash I suppose.

bussin' it left to get lit
because the world as you knew it
turned into..
..****, you've seen the news

the revolution's not coming
it never was.

Waking out from a comfort dream
to step out into a different stream
of consciousness
and unless something stops me
I'll be up and making coffee,

the dream was one that holds you tight as you drifted slowly through the hours of the night and the waking up?
well.
that's alright
I do it every day

I'm still wondering what to wear
but isn't that half the fun of
getting there?


it's raining
but I don't care
because I'm still in bed
wondering what to wear.

The oil lamps are burning
smoke turns the ceiling black.

and I'm still wondering
should I dress or
should I stay in the sack?

My mind is made up,

and I've realised that
everyone's mind is made up
from the fragments of a fairy tale
from the wish in the well
and the leaking pail

now
I'm like a dog with a bone
decided that
I'm staying at home and
putting on my pyjamas.

At last,
we're marching blindly into Armageddon
and sure as **** someone will say,
I'm not going
and they will be struck off the list.

Armageddon seems a lot like Global warming
we know that it's there but we don't see it coming
it's
the elephant in the room,

and do not bank on going to Heaven
since it was privatised it's all gone
to hell.

A blue tick?
oh!
*** me Twitter
you make me sick,

Elon's little side hustle
as if he needs more cash.

Anyway
pay to tweet
is absolutely
sheeit,

I'm going back to
MySpace.

So
I'm sitting in the dentist's chair
and I remarked to her,
I swear that they're drilling for oil
out there,

just lay back
she said
and relax
she said
it'll be alright
she said

oh yeah!
where have I heard that before?

She makes me want to do things that I should do and I want to do those things too, but here I am with my feet up looking older and beat up, I wonder if we'll meet up next week.
there's a hoarding or a boarding on the broadway in Tooting with a picture of a tropical isle on it, I want to be there, on the isle, not in Tooting, and someone puts the boot in and says you can't afford it.

But it's Tuesday and so there's still time to make hay but where's the sunshine?
oh
ain't it bloomin' charmin'
and yet
there's  definitely no harm in
dreaming,

I'm still in ****** Tooting and
it's just started to rain.

as sure as bacon and beans,
it always seems to be that the way she looks at me usually means to me that this is the way that it's going to be and of course, the sauce comes as an extra.

terms and conditions apply and where would we be without them?

I accept that it was this time this time last year even though it was Sunday then and now it's Monday now, see how time conspires to fool me.

Coffee doesn't do that
unless it's ersatz
but this isn't Germany.
however
if the only friends you get
are those like me on the internet
ersatz
seems okay
and so does Germany.
and I'm ok for a Monday.

I've seen a lot of Robins recently
and not one single Batman,
what's going on man?
said the Mayor of Gotham.

ain't nature grand?

wrens and jays
and turkeys
that laze in the sun

penguins with scowls and
owls with Churchillian jowls,

I have a Ladybird book of
let's take a look around
and we'll see how
wonderful nature
has been to me.

still looking for Batman though.

When do the clocks change
and what do they
change into?

They'll play my song as long as the seconds move along and the minutes will click their thumbs in time,
the second hands will clap because they're quite good at that
but when they change and change they will it'll be a bitter pill to swallow.

I might change course and go to Harlow or even Wickford.,
that's where I met Mary Pickford and if you don't believe me ask Deeley, he's a cat you know and owned by the Shy Yeti show or as owned as a cat can be.

I regress or digress some time in distress or that dress, no judging mind be kind.

that's it
all done
catchya on thec
next tide.

Paul Chandler please apologise to Deeley and of course all royalties to said cat.

on the fingertips there remain the ridged patterns
even they will disappear and leave us unknown

planted and grown to full stature
mown down as is the natural order.

why should we rage at a God who decrees
who lives and who dies, a God
who brings famine and disease?

Our names carved into stone
will crumble like us,
leaving us unknown
as is the order of things.

We thought it was a game of musical chairs
it turned out to be a parliamentary game of pass the P.M,
I P.M'd myself laughing because crying does no good.

back on track?
I heard that Boris may be back
and I thought that he'd been given
the sack,

note to self:
pay more attention.

I am keeping that screenshot of her
in my back pocket where
things are kept safe.

It's probably for the best
to forget what undid us,
to get rid of those
lingering memories,
but...

times move the lines
that brought us here
and
sometimes
for the best
is not the best

if I have learned anything
it's that anything is possible
if....
time allows.

Somewhere off an even keel
Noah makes an attempt to kneel
prays to god to keep the deal
and suddenly the rain stopped.

Who's cleaning up this animal dung?
Noah's wife said, looking glum,
it smells like a rat crawled in and died
and Noah replied,
the good lord will provide.

It's a gravy train
the same old faces
again and again,

Tory, Labour,
independent, Green,
we've seen and heard it
and it's all *******

except for the fact
that *******
is good for the roses
and they're good for nothing.

It's Thursday
a worse day
if ever there was

and I think that
because?
because I was thinking of you.

how long?
ah!
that's personal
invading my privacy
when you see
will you be kind to me?

almost *******
I hope she
understands.

One more farewell,
one more drowned
in the wishing well,

well
that's politics
where
**** stinks
but they still call it
perfume.

Why not a General Election?
Why not General Noriega?

whynotno
as my friend
Grant
used to say.

it's a fukin maelstrom
and I don't even know
what that means

except that we're going
around in circles and
ending up
back at square one.

I have a mission to fulfil
and as God is my witness
so I will.

The problem is,
I am lost
too many turnings
too many yearnings
prayers cannot find me

but don't mind me
I'm not complaining.
just explaining
the facts.

I think of her eyes and
the way she smiles and that's how it is.

Half submerged in that look that is hers,
sometimes I gasp for a breath or a kiss
or a thought and I think of her eyes,

Situations arise,
think of her eyes.
my mantra

Tomorrow it'll be today
like
yesterday was today!
what a way to live
always in the infinite moment.

Climbing out of frame
and
growing into my name
then crawling back into the frame
forgetting my name,

if you're not there yet
don't worry
you will be soon

and if you don't get it
don't worry
you're not alone
in fact
you're never alone
in the shady glens
old folks home.

God didn't put a spell on me
I didn't go to hell and he
must be on holiday.

Sunday
the living room
has no room
and neither
has the inn,

I'm dying to put my feet up
and living for the moment I do

there's nothing like a Sunday
except for Sunday when it's
Monday and you're
looking through the rearview,

wondering
what
comes next.

Things not to do in the bathroom,
look in the mirror with the light on,
get into the shower with your pants on,
feed the ducks.

From 2011.

The rivers that run
all come
from the tears we shed
as we are led
to the shore by the sea
to where you and me
began.

Heat where you can.

looking very hot and spicy
nice
and she knew it

her lips glossed over my faults
it felt like I'd kissed a thousand volts
shockingly good.

Are you frightened by the night?

I'm frightened when I don't write
when I no longer have that will
to find a quill and a quiet corner.

There are an awful lot of words
in the dictionary
and
I'm always frightened that She'll
pick on me
if I use any of them more than once

but if I had wanted it easy
I'd have been a brain surgeon.

There's more than likely a name for those faces that you can't put a name to, but who do they belong to?

It's about dreams and always will be
about the nightmares we've lived through
the days when we've longed to
finish it all,

but I fall,
because I'm dozy,
not *****,

and ***** is with Grumpy
probably planning to jump me
in the parking lot at Disney,

if only there was a,
'they're only people club'
I'd join.

A revenant
or a remnant?

as much the same
as Much is a name

we're all archers
quivers and bows
until time slows us.

Robin Hood,
good,
but robbing in the hood,
not so good.

Don't let the words fool you
the pool hall is not a place for
swimming
unless you're a shark.

heading back to the outreach
that church at the end of the spit
where they don't preach but serve
piping hot tea
and it's quiet enough for
sinners like me
to reflect

a face in this refectory
brought me back to some history
but she didn't recognise me
and why should she

we all change in the Autumn.

I sang beneath her balcony
her Mother called the police
on me
I think they should let
young loves be
alone in each others
symphony.

oil on canvas.

it all shrinks away
in the blink of an eye
in the grace of a day
everything fades away.

But
I'm glad to have seen it
and
been here to enjoy it,
so glad
I think I might stay.

Everything's a *******  when you're angry
the kettle takes forever to boil,
*******,
the milk's too cold,
*******
no sugar left,
*******,

illiterate,
*******
illegitimate,
*******

and I must be a *******
or maybe batshit crazy
for writing this.

happy Friday folks.

In denial
put on trial
still in denial?
that's life.

If you don't see it with your own eyes
you can always dream
always fantasise.

Kilroy
might have said it all
when he wrote
' was here '
on the toilet wall
but was he really in the khazi
or
did someone imitate
his style?

Three wise men and not one of them'woke'
but they heard the angel as she spoke
or maybe the angel was a bloke
as previously stated
they were not 'woke'

some are awake and away with the pixies
now they may be 'woke'
or it could be they're plumb loco
but I don't know.

Sometimes I find myself talking to ghosts,
those people I knew long ago,
kids who went before their time,
a time
when those kids were friends of mine.

Sometimes they speak to me and
sometimes they don't.

they are the images that float through my mind
they are the things that make me the kind of
person I am,

reason enough to go on with the living,
forgiving my past
hoping to last a little longer.

Missiles whistling through the air
there's a revolution kicking off somewhere
and where are we?
sitting comfortably
watching the TV and eating our dinner
as countries are swallowed
people are smothered

'Watch with Mother'
that's always best
and then there's the test card
to
give your eyes a rest
but
the missiles keep flying
no use in trying to sleep
so
you get up to keep
the night company.

Christmas is coming
the goose is skin and bone
no one can afford to eat
it was freezing cold at home

I told the kids that Santa's sick
I think they understood
no prezzies underneath the tree
it's being used for firewood.

Raining cats and dogs out there
purring it down
ha
the dogs are silent
they
must be hush puppies,

hey, it's a joke,,
old maybe but it's Thursday
and that's as good as
a paper saucepan.

I
think I'll stay indoors today
I also think
the moon is made of marzipan

thinking doesn't cut the mustard
whatever that means

so I'll have coffee
something I don't need to think about.

I sidestep to get through the day
not sidestepping is one way to
confrontation and sometimes
even I make a stand.

rush push rush and push
everyone's in a hurry
but where they are going
is a mystery

maybe the cemetery
probably this century

there is no queueing
on the road to ruin
and there's no need
to rush,
you'll get there eventually
and maybe this century

turn right at the crossroads
and follow the crowd.

Algorithms are little deaths
like *** without the ***
hexadecimal disconnections
I do not like them

when you lose more friends in cyber
than you ever had in real life
something is ******,

and again, it's
like *** without the ***,
sixteen ******* digits
to put a hex on you.

states of mind

If it had not shone it would have shined and people lined the pavements to see if it was so,
see,
people who have nothing left to do and nowhere else to go will stand and wait which is just another state and they don't seem to mind.

I think it's
*******
but that is also another state of mind
and if
I wait to find out if that is true
because I've nowhere left to go
and nothing else to do
I'm no better than if I'd shined or shone
soon,
Wednesday will be gone
and I'll feel differently
or not.