I got here to this year
don't ask me how
but I have a cracking view
from my bifocals,

the locals call me Methuselah
and that confuses her
because she thinks I'm only
thirty-four.

It gets tiring
need to get the pliers in
and
pluck out my expectations,

working the weekend again.

I run the gauntlet of options
but not many options there
what's going on John,
what's going on?

I shall let you know when it's done
which will be
about sundown on Sunday

head down and I head in
so silent
I can hear a pin stop.

Just do it,
isn't that what they tell us?
do it and don't make a fuss.

*** 'em
fight the machinations of
****** corporations and bent
politicians

and
W.H.O. won't help you
they're out to scalp you
they'll inject you and tell you
that it's for your own good,

but to paraphrase Mandy
'well they would say that wouldn't they'

It was past its sell by
I could tell by
the smell
and the date stamp too.

needs must and a mans gotta do
so I threw it in the dustbin.

When the sky is washed blue
when the clouds are bleached white
and the light in your words shines out in your eyes
my heart and my soul and my whole being cries
for one more hour.
Sixty short minutes so I can show you and shower you
with love and those last sweet kisses.

My everything misses you
When the sky is washed blue.

They'll never tell you
what it is
when they tell you,
it is what it is

so what is it?

I think it's a field
where
the bulls are full of it.

Time after time
we get ****** in by their lies
and end up on the breadline

not for them
The six-to-two
or
two to ten
they live the life of Riley

and who pays?
the sick?
the needy?
the pensioners who cry
who'll feed me?

when they're ******* down the lid on you
it'll be too late then
to realise that they've been kidding you
all of your life.

What?
it's at least an hour before breakfast
the sun might rise before then.

There is something in the way it wanes
that freezes the blood within my veins,

The evening song.

she is the lover that leaves me bereft
and suddenly
the night has left and daylight comes
we sing again.

But wait!
it's Wednesday he said in dismay
or maybe that was last may
and
now it's September,

this may hurt and it probably did.

Before now it was now
and now it's still now
so
what happens
now?

Some days I burn and
other days I smoulder,
it has nothing to do
with my age
although to be fair
I am getting older.

She says,
you're smoking
sizzling on the grill
isn't it time that you
took another pill.

Sometimes
She kills me
by setting me on fire.

Dinosaurs still live
there's no doubt about it
I have just stepped in
some dinosaur ****.

Not relevant
and not a fukin elephant either
I know a dinosaur when I see one
and he goes off on one
which he tends to do more of
these days.

They know what we don't know
and we know that they do
they like to
keep their little secrets secret,

it's almost as if they're in a society
and a secret society too.

It's all gone a bit ******
a tad barking
too much dooby do you
take sugar with your tea
Frank?

Chaos is
when your mind becomes unglued and you're body is being abused by the constant pounding that it takes and you know that you're becoming detached from social ******* with everyone and no one understands that sometimes silence is the key,

oh
and where is the key to silence?

of course it is,
it's in amid the chaos and it laughs at us and our endeavours to get a hold of it

and your eyes come out on stalks when nobody talks
and nobody notices and if they do, would they tell you?
the hell they would.

They work you until you drop
and when you stop
they dock your pay

I'm working today
it's a bit of a *******
if you ask me
but
they never ask me
they only work me to death.

and then
when the dust settled.

oh
clarity
what did you do for me?

ignorance is preferable
when
you don't need to know.

But you did
didn't you
hid your light
under a bustle
oops sorry
bushel.

but I spied you
and
cried out to you

do you
want me
to tell it all?

Do you remember that grin
when he looked at you
and you smiled at him
well
he's still here.

Oh
Jesuus and Joseph he thinks
that he's Moses
taking more than his fair share
of tablets
and
look at them grin
when
they think that they're in
with the in crowd.

Miles and miles
broken by
and lit up by
your smiles.

Journeys are and will always be
full of joy or anxiety.

I played top-notch hopscotch
to pass the time
waiting for that moment when
we became ours and mine
was that pronoun for the singles bar
oh
and that didn't rhyme.

bussing a swerve
and
that hit a nerve
must remember to take it slow
go where the verses go
be led to the spring
drink in everything
think on most things
and
see what tomorrow brings

meanwhile in Morecambe
the cockles are thriving
some believe
it's the place to be alive in
and
mostly they're the ones who are
skiving
off work.

On the day I was born it was raining
the wind coming in from the East
Dad was toasting marshmallows
but
It wasn't me having a feast
I was kicking and screaming
and
Mother was beaming with pride.

Memories are oft' manufactured
to lessen the pain of this life,

This is how people die
they work late
go home
get some shut eye
and start early the next
day.

If they're going to slay me
they'd best fukin pay me
a living wage.

On the offchance
that there is a chance

I'll be taking
it.

Click and collect,
what a way to connect
with the death of the high street.

Amazon's amazing
everyone's got their spades in
digging a hole.

In the end
there'll be no need for interaction
we'll all be housebound
getting around
on shopping carts.

Imagine not speaking
week in and week out,
no one to say
how are you keeping?
how are you sleeping?

there will only be you
scrolling

wake
break
fast
go to
work
slow
and
know
my own worth
so
I won't be
getting paid.

When I thought of penny-farthing lane and the girl who lived at twenty-nine, the girl who should have by rights been mine and that slimy toad who lived up the road,
I cried,

he stole her away and you might chime in and say, the blame's on you, you didn't do enough, wasn't her Knight in shining, yeah, yeah, everyone wants to chime in with what I didn't do,

and now it's work
no play,
no
isn't that the way
it always ends?

Out of order
and aren't we all at times?

I sit quietly in the corner making animals from pipe cleaners, it's a dying art and only old farts who got off watching Blue Peter remember it.
I would make animals from balloons but I haven't got the breath to spare and what I do have is being saved for a rainy day.

Nearly Friday which makes no difference when or if you work at the weekend.

I find that once again I am offloading random thoughts which is puzzling but I suppose random thoughts are just pieces in a jigsaw, you know that they will fit together when they are put in the right place.

Woke at twelve and one and when two came along I was awake, for **** sake what happened to a good night and its sleep?

and dreams, holy Mary some are really scary and some quite blue but mostly though they're sweet as you drift slowly through.

The lake.
jumped in and hoped for the best,
but
bearing in mind that the water was deep,
I wore a Mae West.

Mae although no longer with us
wore it better.

If these threads are all I have and I'm picking at the seams and the dreams are recognisable as something lost far in the past what will become of me when the tapestry that I believe to be me falls apart?

Futures and their trading.

they're raiding the pension *** again,
high-fiving it on the gravy train
and we allow it
is that insane
or just the state of play?

We now know that the best liar won
and there'll be no extra coal in the fire
for pensioners,
absolutely none.

They have their heating
paid for by
beating the poorest.
the
***** rotten scoundrels.

Winter ought to be
as far as I can see
discontinued,
all it does is give one the blues
when singing in the rain
don't cut the mustard,

dull and grey
oh
what a day,
but it could be a night,
not light enough to see
yet.

He's off his friggin' trolley
LOL he
thinks they're eating dogs
and cats
that man is absolutely bats.

Even as your hands would cling tight to it
your mind will let it go and your body rests
in ignorance of what you'll never know.

in the underpass that underpins the goings on above
there is scant regard or need for anything to do with love,
and the lights are painted red
and the walls are black with slime
and still, we cling to what has gone
until what has gone has gone for one more time

and we are hostages to the hostels
and the ransoms are our stories
to be noted down by men with frowns
some in cassocks
and some in gowns
and we learn to pray for our food each day
and for a sermon from the host.

Lincoln's Inn will provide providence and the final slide
and we'll bow before the Beak, silent,
we were not allowed to speak,
and who would hear us anyway?

I was halfway through reading Black Beauty and then I broke my arm, I never blamed this on Anna Sewell even though I was so engrossed in her novel that I never saw the car that hit me, but that taught me absolutely nothing,

I finished the book, The surgeon fixed my arm, the nurse gave me a lollypop because she said that I was too young for a glass of Mackeson, which, by the way, they gave to patients in the old days before everything got modern.

That was in the old infirmary where Nan worked for a time, a Victorian throwback which happened not to be a drawback to the work they did there and it's still there but now surrounded by a fine coat of even finer building where they do finer work or so I've been told,
but I'm old and they'll tell me anything to shut me up.

Ten years!
a decade,
did I fade?

Do you think I still look good?
would you tell me or
would you
let me go on imagining that
I'm still in the spring of my life.

What then in another ten
will I know you
will you remember me
will we even be?

I know that I'm no longer him who goes to the gym to build up his pecs,
I'm the man inside wearing slippers and specs who pets the dog and goes out at night to look at the stars,
but somehow the same.

Life only gets livelier when you live it.

Today does not know that it is Monday
the light has not penetrated yet,
but not knowing it won't make it
go away,
today
will still be Monday.

Who would buy my dreams,
sight unseen and take them on trust?

Looking back at it
wasn't the filofax
the biggest load of ****
and
those
toffee noses with
pencils
coming out of their arses
scribbling away
as if their day was more important
than mine,

but what was mine?

scratching a living
and
not giving a toss,

the filofax fad when it passed
was no great loss
and now
there are more homes in mobile phones
than people in houses
nothing changes when nothing changes

it all looks like the same old ****.

I make believe it's Excalibur
but
it's actually a spanner
and
I'm tightening a nut.

where would we be
without fantasy?

in the big deal
real world
where everything is a sideshow
where everything is out on show?

I know
what
and he's on second base.

Bud and Lou
know what's what and who's who.

That was last night
when the Generals told us
everything was going to be alright

one hundred plus years
and the tears still drop
the wars don't stop

I think the Generals were fibbing.

She's called time,
bedtime
am I in for a
treat?

The evening came in
like Gunga Din,
British India
without the Sun.

I loved it so
and wanted to be there
but it wasn't to be

She,
keeps a tight rein on me.

Enjoying a meal in
getting the feeling
that tonight might be

and we're all a bit might be
aren't we?

Machiavelli,
well he
would be
wouldn't he?

poet and philosopher
in the age of Medici,
he
would be
wouldn't he?

and here in this year
where anything and everything,
is scrutinised
the politicians
still get away with their lies.

I'm not going fishing
because the fish are full of
plastic,
the rivers are caustic,

I am having a ***
the only fun I get.

Winter is coming
and I know this
because the birds
are going South,
flowing
as fast as any river.

They are an omen
much better than the
weather men.

Spring will come along
with a blooming lovely song
and we'll all feel warmed by this.

..and so.
daylight on its wooden crutch
shambles slowly through the night
arriving with a look
of Autumn on its face.

Men look like that because men look like that and I'm not saying it's right, it might be wrong, but men look like that and some like that when men look like that,

confused?
I am
a man among men
not sure when that happened
but happened it did.

Hoovering
cleaning
washing up
hoovering, oh
already done it
now done it twice,
making the bed
scratching my head
changing the sheets
making the bed
again with the
scratching my head,
have I forgotten
anything?

food in the fridge
fruit in the dish,
wish my memory was better,

have I forgotten anything?
nothing but
a shower and shave
a touch of cologne
and I will wait patiently
for her to come home.

Bet I forgot something though.

As far as it goes and I think it's going to go far this car crash of a government has definitely raised the bar,

we're going to be poorer
and they say,
because of the Tories,
****** and corruption
are just two of the stories.

I should try jumping off this tower block and make believe that I can fly, we're all living in this scary tale and we're all going to die.

We can't Elastoplast or bandage
the damage is too great,
there's nothing else that we can do
we'll have to amputate.

Next time I'm voting with my feet
walking away from all of this
I know when I am beat.

Does it seem that way when you've been awake for an hour and its already been a ****** long day, does it ever seem that way to you?

Doing my best because a change is as good as a rest.

I'd like to think but then again I'd like to do lots of things that are beyond me, but beyond me is where I find lots of like-minded company,

am I rambling?

I looked and thought he looks like me

amazing what you see in the mirror.

But that's only a reflection of what goes on in the mind of John, it's like a windmill up here, sails going around, corn being ground into the flower of my youth.

it doesn't do to be namby-pamby about the nitty gritty when you live in this city, you have to take the rough with the rougher get tough and be tougher or drown and suffer the fate that would await you if you were honest and decent, from the back row   (again) he shouts, like a good Catholic or Protestant?

Good God I reply, I'd rather dye my hair green than to be seen as one of them or perhaps it's one of those who knows

and in the mirror, I look again and see the rain pouring down because it wasn't the mirror it was the window and do you know I wasn't surprised at all.

If forever is the distance between now and never how long will it take to get there?

some things are intolerable
some are unsolvable
most are not.

I was looking out of the corner of my eye to see if I could see around it and catch my ear blushing but I couldn't,
but one has to try
even if it sounds crazy.

She was right,
I'm still awake and it's still night,

years ago my Dad said that if I swallowed apple pips trees would grow in my stomach, I swallowed them anyway and no trees ever grew, I think Dad knew that and was kidding me.

When eventually came,
we eventually gave it another name
for convenience, they told me,
but I finally understood
that nothing good comes from eventually
when it becomes known as the certainty.

So
now I'm waiting for the Mayan calendar to kick in.

She in her wisdom tells me
it's a certainty
that if I don't go back to sleep
I'll be tired later on.

eventually, I will.

The Salvation Army came storming in
the Major ordered a pint of gin,
that was his personal
War Cry.

Many pretended not to hear,
drowning the noise out
while drinking the beer,

I was looking at a good-looking
majorette
who got me to put a penny in
her tin ( not a euphemism )

the Major ordered another pint of gin
I think
I like him,
but I like her more.