It has to be virtual because the reality is too painful.

They're making a program
where even blind men can see the truth.

Meanwhile
those of us stuck in the pre-decimal are still dinosaurs dreaming of
the digital.

And
does it or will it make any difference when the lights go out and we all power down?

If I wanted more Facebook friends I'd add all those young ladies who said that they found my profile interesting,

I do wonder about them and their taste in ( interesting ) men.

Thinking
it was armageddon
then finding
it was only lightening
and the thunder was just thunder
not the World being split asunder

what a way to start a Thursday.

disappointment one
but
She says,
what the hell are you on?
well
it ain't a slow boat to China.

May is that time of the month compressed into a day and the day lasts a month and there's nothing one can say except perhaps it was rain stopped the play.

I'm glad it wasn't armageddon because I slept the night with no pyjamas on,
that would have been embarrassing.

We came this far
to find that we're still in the same place,
how bizarre.

treading water ain't no trick
walking on it,
now, that's slick.

But how far have we come?
same shadows, same sun!

We're running but the sand in the hourglass
runs faster.

What's cooking?
probably the books
is what I'm thinking.

It must be double entry
because they're all bent
or so he tells me.

There's a smell of peculiar
emanating from Westminster
it must be their subsidy
or maybe more double entry

the bean counters are busy
making sauce for the goose
the tax men are rabid and
they're being set loose


so
that's what's cooking and it
looks like a storm.

we could be rambling along a country lane  or better still we could be sitting up by the old mill among the buttercups and lilacs and having a picnic of peanut butter sandwiches and freshly pressed lemonade and then lying back and watching the movie show of clouds that pass,

we could be
if you were with me
but you're not
because you married that little snot, Timothy Gregson
and I am on my lonesome

so it'll be lunch for one at the chippie
again.

they tell you that it's a giveaway and then they'll ask you to pay,

what a waste of space when I could be seeing what you had for dinner last night or
how your cat can bark like a dog

we're bogged down in the minutiae of what goes on in someone's mind's eye.

the news isn't the news breaking or not
and the ads are just as bad
they're just taking the proverbial.

Concertinaing again
compressed on a runaway train
and Casey Jones, that bag of bones
is nowhere in sight.

But there's only so many times i can fold
so i put the concertina on hold
and try to stretch.

Haha fascinating what the mind feels
when the seals break

and that's when the antipsychotics
come into their own.

They are out there
thinking they're
the Jetsons
but
looking more like
the Simpsons.

yep you know them
the peculiar ones
the out of the
ordinary ones
the ones that are
your grandchildren.

and they're getting degrees
the
Bachelor
the Master
am I going to fast for ya?

there are
'ologies for everything
today

in my day
you went down the pit
or off to war
to do your bit
God save the King
had a certain ring to it

and now
it's
Futurama
which is
Fukushima
on acid.

Sing to the Bazouki
dance the Zorba
eat Tsatziki

he dreams of Knossos
whilst snoring like a colossus
sleeping like a statue
on the island of
Corfu.

It's getting lighter in the mornings
which is a weight off my shoulders,
darkness is heavier by far
and by far
I mean about fourteen pounds an inch
at sea level
yeah,
it's all Greek to me too,
but the way is the way out of the
night where in limbo the ghosts
hold onto you tight.

Monday and the record is stuck
I've been here before
just my luck
another repeat

and then you become superfluous
which to me sounds quite
ridiculous.

When books are kept in a museum
it'll be us
the redundant
who'll be out there to free 'em.

We are the pensioneers
like mountaineers
but
without the climbing.

and we're
also good at listening
when the hearing aid's
working.

They may want blood from you but do what's good for you and deny them the opportunity.

I remember the Lockdowns when them friggin' clowns down in Whitehall were laughing at us and having a ball.

Vote?
yep I'd vote that lot into Judge Jeffreys's courtroom and hang the whole shebang.

But for that, I'd do penance
while they pay me a pittance
and call it my deliverance

we're still in lockdown.

Rolling your joints is not exercise
and
the medicine ball is not medicine at all
it's all lies.

You fooled me again
walking in out of the blue
and I,
what did I do
but stand here and welcome you

I
know in my heart
that you will go again
and fool
that I am
I'll welcome you back again.

it goes on
and
it goes over me,
just
like the tide
rushing back in
you
will drown me again.

That is life
it may be love
it could be ecstasy

stop fooling me.

No one in their right mind would walk through the wilderness, no, they'd avoid it,

imagine the snakes snaking and the wolves taking you in, even thinking you were a little bit thin, but you'd do for a snack, oh yes, everything out there will attack you and them bears, yes, them bears will track you and I don't mean GPS.

Jeeez it's downright scary
birds of prey waiting to devour me
and those things with stripes
thinking I'm ripe for the ****.

But I will not give way to my fears
nor fall prey to the laughter of my peers
I shall instead stay indoors watching
Attenborough
with a couple of beers.

Well?
I woke up
was there anything else?

Getting to the doing will most definitely be the undoing of me

there comes a time in every man's life when if he is wedded
his wife will say,
what are you planning on doing today?

no mention of getting to the doing or how long it will take you to do.

so
I woke up
and gave up
and I'm doing it now.

Waiting for the gas man, he's probably walking as he doesn't seem to have a gas van, but that's just a guess.

Meters and metres and metric electrics everything's charged by the foot, I'd give 'em all a boot right up the jacksie for charging me over the odds.

Cooking bacon over a candle light and to be fair the bacon is crisp but it doesn't taste right, a bit waxy if you ask me.

It's Friday and I no longer care and again to be fair I don't really care when it's Monday.

There's plenty of room and more on top,
the bus stop stops the bus and we get on.

Let us all have a sing-song said the conductor.

yeah yeah
the wheels on the..
..what a fuss
just to ride on a London bus
where every fare is the stage that we bear.

The driver on the 243
looks a proper misery,
I believe that
the 141 is the best one to be on
but
whatever floats your boat.

Superstars
we should all have cars
bright and big and shiny
when everything else is tiny
one has to compensate.

Friday yay and yay once more
in Regents Park the lions roar
I close the bedroom door and
am as quiet as a mouse.

The thing is
there's always another thing that springs to mind and I don't mind how many springs have sprung there's always that one thing which brings me back to the thing is and it has always been.

Excuses
nearly seven and I'm still sat
had coffee and some of that
cereal
which I'm assured will make me
more regular,

the thing is
I should be out there
should have shifted my **** off the chair, should have put on my coat and gone somewhere
and that's the thing isn't it?

I am dilly-dallying
when I should be
filling the blanks in
but somewhere in
this aimless wandering
the answers will be found.

I do not want it to be
that when I am breathing my last
that the answers I have sought
come thick and fast
what use is that to me?

She says,
time to get up.

There is little rest for the wicked.

I'm looking for a starter motor
the one I have has breathed its last
I just need one to get me moving
it doesn't have to go too fast,

I sometimes wake up sluggishly
or snail like and it worries me
because I could be a livewire
instead I'm teetering on a high wire
and that is why I need to buy a
brand new starter motor.

You cannot light a fire with a skinflint
hints at sadness but tries again.

What pain we endure until we find
that love is the cure and alcohol was
just a panacea.

I have lots to turn my hand to
but it seems like getting through
each day is hard enough,

I'd get the butler to do it
but he already did it
or was that in a film that I saw?

Wednesday and tomorrow looks likely.

That place in the country is where you think you should be,
rehab' in a rural setting
yes
let your insides scream out
as you let your soul back in.

There's another way
lock yourself away
and
don't see the light of day
until you're okay,
there are still the screams
still the soul
but it's you and only you
digging yourself out of that hole
and
it comes highly recommended
by those half demented.

However it's done
the fun only comes
when it's done.

do it.

We've all been logged in
to the next big thing
and that must mean
an election is in the offing.

They all promise much of a muchness
all offer us more and deliver to us less,

Vote for this one, that one, the one
with the funny hat on
or don't vote at all,

Democracy gives you that choice
and usually though not always
it's a three-horse race,
first
second,
and seeya back at my place to
split the winnings.

Remember when you were young
and you had a cold and your mum put Vicks on your chest and a dab at the back of your throat?

it's no wonder that I grew up at seventy miles an hour.

This isn't about that.
This is about the good book and to tell you the truth I don't give a flying....look at me nearly committing blasphemy.

but the good book
is a good book
whether it be the
the Bible
the Quran
the Torah
or horror of horror
Harry Potter,

each to his own
whatever takes you home.

we'll be going to the cemetery in
a limo
and plotting up at the side of a plot
to put seaweed in a ***

They should be tunnelling
far better than sinking in
but it's too late,
this sovereign state has decreed
that we have no need of those in need

them shitehawks from Whitehall
are already out there
selling seaweed.

It's a mistake to take away hope
they're making rods for our backs.

Into the heart of them
and George killed the lot of them
what a *******,
now
we can't see them fly
no longer do dragons cast shadows
across our sky,

and they made him a Saint
don't ask me why
it must have been a slow day
in the Vatican,

they should have given him the
Order of the Garter as well,
Oh wait,
they did.

One day
we'll all be released
back into the wild.

It doesn't always follow that when you grow up you slow down, in some cases the brakepads go and you can't go slow so you keep on speeding.

On a clear day you can see the peasantry toiling away
fields of corn, ricks of hay and all seems well with the
well-oiled aristocracy but it niggles me
that they never seem to work in my dream.

I'm voting soon
and I'll be voting that shower of ***** out.

At times when the daylight jumps in
through the skylight and night,
skedaddles through the floor
I can hear what I'm thinking,
also, I
hear her breathing which makes me
believe in
something more.

There'd be a built in safety feature if things hadn't gotten so bad, but the safety net is now a thing of the past.
We should all have been moving on and yet here we are in the middle of a nightmare going nowhere.

Politicians are like colonoscopies
a pain in the backside
and
on the bright side
there's an eclipse.

That is no excuse to be sad
it's not all bad
it only seems like it.

Watching her thinking about getting a cat and it's me having bleedin' kittens.

Later when she settles down
she tells me she wants a Llama
I ask her if she means the Dalai
and she gives that look
that tells me to go,

( I thought '*** off' would have completed the last line,
but I chose not to use it)

I'm in the doghouse now
bow wow.

'it ain't me babe..'
it couldn't be
I have a certificate.

All we do is rearrange the letters
in the alphabet
to get to where we are.

The belt that you wear is tightening
Rishi the ruler is frightening
you can't afford to let light in
because you couldn't pay the bill.

It's a bitter pill but they sweeten it
by pretending
that sugar tastes just like ****
but they'll erase every last little bit
of you
and pretend that you didn't exist.

Getting a sick note is sick
they want to put you in irons
and quick,

Rishi the rich has the gall,
to sit there and watch us all fall.

I'm wearing braces to face the new future
so I can catapult into this culture and feed
on the poor like a vulture.

The supermarket self-checkout
is apparently not  the place to
check out permanently

unexpected item?
well
**** 'em
because
they're expecting me in eternity.

Making time for forever
wherever that is.

If it's a mountain to scale
some of us climb it
and
some of us fail.

I sail off into the distant blue
looking forever for you.

The freckle fairy flew past me
I think my thanks go to Peter
but I like freckled faces

How dare they/them or he/she
fly past me.

In the olden days when gender was the plural of gander
no one would say boo to a goose
but these days
look sideways and all hell breaks loose.

all the hops were picked by the hop
pickers in Kent, yep, that's where they went
and I was left with only a skip and a jump
it's no wonder that I've got the ****,
but at least I understand why.

If you gave your Father cheek
he'd give you a thick ear
which never seemed like a
fair swap to me.

Teaching what teachers teach reaching for a textbook because you have to practice what they preach and having not one thought of your  own and when they put you in a home?
why ask why?

'Do or Die' a motto in a seaside grotto because we're not allowed to fight anymore and riding the ghost train in that frame of signed In for duty Sgt Bilko.

A slip and we all make then try to unmake them
and they break men for less.

The stunning suburban
the middle class businessman
with a wife on prosecco
by the way
who is Sgt Bilko?

Another slip
the cord rips and the parachute deploys
oh joy of joys
it's not grim at all.

Gypsy Rose knows,
but which Rose?
there were so many to
choose from.

There used to be hundreds
down along Morecambe Prom'

I wonder if they saw in their
own palms
that era coming to an end.

I think,
oops
no
that'll come later.

but I have to get up and go
there are things to do
and some places to go
and
now I'm thinking I'll get up and go.

See how it flows
like me, downstream
back to the dream,

I'll wake in a while and get dressed

the bathroom mirror looks impressed
and to be honest
I can't fault it,

vanity
will be my undoing
but the tea's brewing in the ***
so my undoing will have to wait.

Local councils
cannot stand you if you move outside the estate, cannot wait to drag you back in to the orange bin for food waste, green bin for the bottles, I could flamin' well throttle 'em, pay your council tax as you lay down on your backs and think of England, I'd ****** 'swing for 'em, aye, high on the gallows.

listen up buttercup
they'll dress you down and tuck you up
to ******* up and keep you in the system,

they're on the radar
and come the revolution,
the local council won't get far,
we'll be watching.

I refer you to my previous
when life was tough and living serious
but you may not even read this.

Nothing's quite that simple
not the pimple on your cheek
or
solutions that you seek,
try not to dwell.

It's Friday night and there's no sight nor is there anyone around
I'm here but I was bound to be.

I believe that I'll reach my peak next Tuesday at three.

Oh wouldn't that be cute?
some aeons old geezer in a grey demob suit
tripping over the light fantastic.

In the real World which is flat if you believe pancakes
or pixies, someone picks these pearls of wisdom and restrings lyres with them.

In this house of harpies he's at home on the sea
but they steal his food and he's constantly hungry,
I pray to
Zeus who's of no use at all,
but next Tuesday at three and at my peak
Zeus will see just who is what and where.

Getting lighter,

She says
No, you're not
You've got to lose some weight,

but wait, what if I run on the spot
and drop a few keys,
what if I eat Slimcea?

She chimes in with
give me a break
take yourself off to the gym
and start exercising

I'm guessing that she doesn't mean
my imagination.

I'm already tired just thinking about it.

Someone left the light on or perhaps it's that the night's gone and the day has broken in.

I was in a dream but I'm not sure whose,
the thing is one cannot choose who dreams of who, but there I was.

Thank the Lord the morning came
because I was bored with the weird little game that the dream had me play,
but to be honest it wasn't all bad,
I've asked to go back on Saturday.

Press home and girls appear, skin and bone, men like supermen and that happens when you press home, but press a little further on and find out where real folks have gone.

What a trick
Google picks your brains
which run at twenty four frames
and suddenly
your thoughts are on the screens
happiness it seems
is not just smoking a Hamlet.

Goodness knows I've seen shows
but
I won't go into that here,
I'll just think of having another beer
and Google will show me the way.

What's a little rain between friends?
well
wet for one thing.

But don't be a drip
the sun's on the way
slip on your shorts
get out there and..
what day is it?
..oh yeah,
Wednesday
so
I'm checking the lotto
before I go
to bed,

one cannot sleep on an empty wallet
nor an old wooden pallet
believe me
I've tried.