Google tells me that I'm in my prime and
so does Wikipedia,
hmm
prime is time for the prime and I'm still trying to process

if I was cheese I'd be done now and so would the cow now
explain if you can,

Prime as in primate man
twiddle your thumbs if needs be
I'll be up a Gumtree waiting.

do you happen to remember that end of term report?
No
and neither do my parents.

my excuses were hand crafted
teacher was sick, his dog was sick,
his parents were sick
so
I could pick any one and try it on.

mostly but not in the main
the excuses rolled out
but
tended to be the same
and
so did I.

it took a long time to
iron the kinks out.

The moment has come to shine,
not the silver because as we all know
that was sold off to China,

I was thinking of shining my halo
it's a bit dusty
rusty,
must he go on
said the man with the long face,

I stop for tea
we Brits do that.

There are the homeless who hide in shelters
sheltering from the harshness outside,

but when these shelters are full
where can they hide?

nowhere
but inside of themselves.

Catch 22?
you
couldn't catch a cold
and
when you can't catch your breath
you know that you're getting old.

Then the brain starts playing games
and you know this
when half a crown was two and six in Celsius
and Calculus was a professor in Tintin.

The older you get
the harder it becomes.

oh please,
keep your mind out of the gutter
I'm talking about sleep.

I suppose that the brain gets full
and when you age you can't pull
the Zzzees like you used to.

late
late
cancelled
can't wait

everything's slow
as if
no one wanted to go
anywhere.

It's because things are old
they haven't been
renewed
investors have taken their
dividends and
all of them thinking *** you
we're having it on our toes.

back to the horse and cart
or even the pony and trap,
it's a
pity I can't fit a carriage on
Pebbles, my trusty old cat

Don't be simple like Simon,
learn to make your own pies
and let the man go on his way.

It's 5 again and starting to rain
it could be raining all day
the weather is intolerable
designed to make us miserable,

I'm not made for this
I am made for sunshine
kisses on the shore
holding hands at sundown
and wanting
a little more.

The more it goes on
oh
..that's
what's on your mind John.

Facebook
trying to look beyond?

*** em up there on sugar hill.
what do they know anyway

you're blocked
and
*** you too
that is what to do
on Wednesday.

Hot summers
and what follows
is
short shorts

I used to wear them
until
I grew out of them

and I know
that we all have to grow,
but
it's such a shame.

Winding down now
got through it again and
please don't ask me how
but I did

got a glass and going to fill it
not to the brim
don't want to spill it

My feet ache
the
back row barracker
shouts
shut it
face ache

I'm not listening
but I'm
getting into the spirit

that's what the glass is for.

I was tiptoeing through the tulips
until I realised that they were parsnips
and that put the cat amongst the pigeons.

another dream from the countryside.

The night train,
you get on and I get off
woke at one
went back to sleep
and slumbered on,

only the elderly slumber
hoping their number's not up
and that they'll wake up,

I usually do.

They use lures to lure you in
then those fukers
hang you out to dry,
do not trust
politicians of any persuasion.

Einstein had it right
E=mc hammer them screwballs in tight.

vote for me
your vote counts
but sadly you won't

get a start with this party
we're all in hell for leather
well
vultures or whatever
we're gonna chew on your fat

have you got that?

you get what you're given so eat what's on the table,

I had a fork with a salt *** and a cracked cup, bruv ate the teapot, the milk jug and a plastic knife, sis scoffed two plates and both of them with floral patterns on and so it went.

Windmill soup if there was enough to go around
and scotch mist on toast if there wasn't,

if we asked Dad what were for tea
he'd say
**** with sugar on
wait and see.

But weren't they happy times?

Nucular
and that's peculiar
but them **** Yankees
got a way of saying
that's like
Gregorian monks praying.

you know and I know
that it's Nuclear
but
I suppose that's peculiar
to them
across the pond.

The difference is that there's no difference at all,
we're one and the same, but
we all play the game and pretend
in that, there is no end to it.

I am you and you are me
and the Beatles put it
so beautifully
but they ****** up
when they split up
and the rest is history.


It's Monday and almost but not quite there yet
I think that I'll get some shut-eye.

How ya feeling now?
Monday
wow
so soon.

back to the mill,
grinding the corn
they've been doing that
since before I was born.

I was in a dream again,
the usual one
I must have run out of
new dreams to dream,

The sky has a reddish tint
a hint of a fine day to come
I'm off to take a cold shower
I may be some time.

conscription
oh
well that'll work a charm,
but
there's no harm in trying.

They'll be crying into their canapes
snorting coke and in a daze
Whitehall's such a flamin' maze
a bit like the one at
Hampton Court.

If you ask me
that lot
are cut from the same cloth,
a case of Woolnoth and dead sound,

news at nine used to be fine
but now there's no news ever.
when was the news at ten?
tell me
when was there ever news at ten?

so many undone
we should be so lucky
*** me
we could even be happy

oh!
I am
and for that I thank
Mr Eliot.

Hellfire
and that was just a hot dream,

well
corn me in a can of beef
I am shipwrecked off a coral reef
best not tell her
She'll give me grief
I'm going for a shower.

Fact
today is Sunday
and I have to work
to keep the dogs at bay

and
now I know what the piggy-wigs saw
when the wolves were at the door.

Summer and it's raining
blood draining from my face
I need to take a powder
and
lay down on the chaise.

If only I could think up a good enough
of getting out of doing stuff,
I would.

there must be a limit
and I must be over it.

I'd crack on
get back on
the merry go
and go
but no
you have to fill in forms
submit to terms
accept conditions

what it boils down to is
these things that we go through,
are just circus rings.

What do you look for in signs, in the signs that the times are unending, in the days when the government is bending those rules do they go by the book?

if you're searching for an explanation
look no further than the next inquisition
and we know the meter's running
all the signs say it is coming

when
I'm going fishin' doesn't cut it
but it sounds like a plan,
so you shut out the voices
of the many-headed man
and with a clipboard
go shipboard
shipside
slide off the compass
ride on the point of a witches hat for comfort

want some bring some steal some buy some
every one a wrong 'un
even when they're mentioned in a
song sung
Sam sung
phone the council quick mum
pots on the boil
and the taters are all done mum

tea time
free time
no time to see time

are the signs that you see the same as signs that bother me, do they make you wonder what the hell is going on?

But it's Saturday said Piglet
and Pooh agreed, saying
it's
time to bring the bacon home,

suddenly Piglet knew in his heart,
that he'd be the start of Pooh's day.

Apparently
She's not coming round the mountain
She won't be coming at all
She married a man called Desi
and now they're having a Ball.

Whatever party you vote for
will never
hold a party in your honour

knees under the table
along with the corruption
and ******,
please.

She asked me if I walked here when I was waiting for the train,
I said,
can you be more specific so she asked me the same thing again.

I must be getting old because she looked like she was seventeen,

anyway it was another questioneer for the old folks walking here,

I wish they'd leave me the *** alone

Money used to be when your trousers were down to your ankles with the weight of it
and now it's all ****** plastic, you could flamin' well float.

You might call me a fool, but
I'm still old school with no cards and only cash
so
when I cash in my chips there'll be no plastic bits to scoop up.

that's it for tonight
I have a ***** and coke
not
that kind of coke in case you ask.

Two days off
I can barely contain my excitement.

I can still hear the heartbeat of the street,
and measure my pace accordingly, I
move quietly and carry a big stick.

there's too much being said about nothing
of which I know a great deal.

Happiness is not a cigar called Hamnet
that's its brother.

And that's as random
as my lottery numbers
god bless them.

We got to t'Skerton side of the Lune
and none too soon,
slipped once or half a dozen times
but not so much as to be submerged

we wuz minded to watch our steps
by them as had gone before us.

****** all on Skerton side though
so
it were off back to t'toirtoiseshell island
which were made of concrete and looked
like a submarine,

them days were few
and them as knew 'em
knew 'em to be
the best days of our lives.

She
plants a kiss on me
and
I grow into
a
kissing tree.

Too many people squawking
pretending that they're talking
I am putting my coat on and
I'm walking out of here.

And out here on the edge
I can hear the silence in your breath,
and that makes sense to me.

She says many things which have
a ring of certainty about them,
but that's another story.

Not the eyes
because they hold the soul and
if She has taught me anything
it is always the eyes.

You will return
because you burn for me.

And so adamant
that
I have written this on
parchment

it must be so.

I dreamt that it could have been me
running free,
over the fences, Grand National Day
at Aintree.

strange indeed
it must be something
in the feed
they're feeding me,

imagine that
running free
pay your license
says
the BBC.

*** it
I'm off tomorrow
not sure where
until I get there.

So
we're not falling
we're floating
in a free economy.

They're stitching a hem on the universe and
making it look very pretty
it's a pity they can't put one on this town
but they like it to look..out..
...ship ahoy,

we're sailing in dangerous waters if
we
think that they can't sink us at will,

an election is looming
I am cheering
because it's time to give another the chance
to rob us folk blind while we're sleeping,

the universe is coming along nicely, although
there's a thought we might run out of thread,
the universe just keeps on expanding
I am glad that something's well-fed.

The word jiggered fits the bill.

difficult to get back to it
harder to stay away
work is as work is
and I need a holiday.

it rained too
did you notice?

o yeah
get ready
get set
get wet,
sounds a bit saucy
but it's not
I haven't got time
for that.

All I said was
I love Wednesday
and suddenly
The Addams Family,
is breathing down my neck.

But this morning is drab
and even I
with the gift of the gab
can find nothing else to say.

How's the summer
grabbing ya
jabbing ya
I'm cabbing it home.

You can
call it what you want,
I know
what I'd like to call it,

got absolutely sodden
and those
people with the big umbrellas
sod em.

but I'm home now
chillin' and
willing the rain to cease.

People disappear
or perhaps we leave them
somewhere in the rear as we
go marching on,

sometimes I miss them
wish I was with them,
have I disappeared too?

and then quite lazily
a memory floats in,
it sinks again only to swim
in a deeper sea than me.

The day is upon me
and
so is the duvet

it's time to get up
and no!
not to any mischief.

and looking in the mirror,
is like looking at a passion killer
so
ladies
you're in no danger.

She laughs out loud,
and says that I'm living in
cloud cuckoo land,

The week begins on a high note.

I can taste garlic,

She says,
it could have been arsenic
so
think yourself lucky.

I do
and I said that before.

I used to be a pioneer
and now
I'm just a pensioneer

out here
on the frontier
boldly going on.

A hundred scents in a dollar?
wow
that's a smelly currency,
but in the land of the free
they can do as they please

in good old blighty
which used to be capital,
we still put a seashell
up to our ear
to hear
the latest news.

Sunday
dawn has not broken
it's just resting
testing the air for scents.

The algorithm
is not
dance music.

Sideshow Mel,
or
was it Bob?
can't remember now
but
one of them got the job.

Both are a little bit
leftfield of Springfield
so
I keep my wits
about me.

I know that you will take
what you want
and then say,
that I gave it.

It's been three days
and not one chef
has made it to
my hitlist,

they're all quite decent,
unlike that other chef
I once knew
who
wanted me to measure
the diced vegetables
he
was definitely on the
danger list.

but three days is nothing,

three months in
and I'll be hoping,
hoping,
but no more bowing and scraping
them days is history,

She says,
so are you my darling,
ancient history.

Here's to guesswork
which actually
is a lot easier
than real work
but
doesn't pay as much.

Don't be taken in
by a bag of crisps
a crap sandwich
and a fizzy water,
I am the real deal
and worth more than
six quid
or seven quid if you're
in the airport.

Such as it is
it is and could be more.

that's my offering
take it or not,
but
to be honest
that's all I got
at this time.

I miss the days
when I was better
than this,

She says,
but you're good,

and I have to agree.

She says,
don't look so smug.

...and now
for your
disappointment
entertainment.
oh
wait a moment,
it's
not for you at all.

and as it happens
which happens all the time
I'm back and tied to the yoke
but it's fine,
I was getting wearier not working
than I ever did when I was.

if there's still life in the old goat
there is still hope.