Shopping's not what it used to be
I never see buy one get one free
it's all about me, me and did you see
the Christmas Range?
it's like the High flamin' Chaparral
cowboys, everywhere you look.

yes, me, me underneath the polystyrene Christmas Tree,
take a selfie with the fairy on top
She says that I have to stop and that I'm only out here
to shop.

What the..? Oh,
I get it
you mean the fairy on top bit?
I tell her that 'it's just fun, ducks'
She
gives me another one of those looks

shopping's not what it used to be.

On the campsite when the fire is lit
we sit to toast marshmallows
and tell our favourite
stories,

Jennifer
wafer-thin
surprises us all
by tucking in
and demolishes
a pack by herself

and when you lose count
if counting each spark
you can't go back
because
each spark goes dark,

I found that out
by myself.

We're beyond
league tables
perfect badges
hall monitors
and gold stars,
there'll be no progress prizes
until progress is made,

'physician heal thyself'
is about as old as the current
thinking.

Who's going to save us now?
not the man in the lighthouse
or the madman in the Whitehouse
and if you're thinking
him at number ten
think again.

Of course
if they all ****** off
we'd be better off
wouldn't we?

Lego, the building blocks of dreams,
Colorful and creative, it seems.
Snap and click, piece by piece,
Endless possibilities, never cease.

Castles and spaceships, cars and trains,
Imagination soars, never in vains.
From tiny bricks to towering heights,
Lego inspires, day and night.

Constructing worlds, one block at a time,
Bringing joy, a truly sublime.
Lego, a timeless toy, a classic delight,
Sparking creativity, shining so bright.

It's wine time and a fine time to pour a glass of Chablis, excuse me
if I don't offer you any, I have left you a beer in the fridge as you're not here.

Relaxation takes on a whole new dimension when you're getting pleasantly stewed and the good news is that you can choose how stewed you become, that's what the cork is for.