too much pain
for too much time
nothing to gain
from continuing
to live like this
just dont want to die
all thats left for me
uncertainty certainly
until terminal arrives
my only surety
however tortuously
the end is nigh

how long must i rage
against the dying of the light
before i can go to my grave
having fought the good fight
im battered and bruised
black and blue
like the night i invite
pray take me gently
lest i take my own life in spite

who called shotgun?
boom!
got them
shoulda stayed at home
if ya comin
i allot whos doin what
this aint a democracy
im the ****** despot
you that ****** desperate to get shot?
shut the **** up
sit the **** down
and me and you will get along
say another word
and your journey wont be long
im not in the mood
for whatever **** youve got goin on
this is MY ****** song

I have prided myself
on my piece of mind
sure in my head
that my thoughts were mine
but brought up in a prison
with the walls ill-defined
didnt need to be in jail
to be institutionalised

high and dry
sounds like a place
youd want to be to me
a preponderance of possibility
so why does it feel
like im drowning in it
frowning cynically

i dont know what you thought
you were in for
but equality means being ignored
when your pleas fall on deaf ears
you will know you have found your reward
congratulations
welcome aboard

they were once amateurs
living life for the joy
doing the things the professionals forget
once theyre employed
now they spend their time allocated
filling weekends with toys
trying to remember the feelings they had
when they were happy little girls and boys
whats lost is the wonder
once gone its destroyed
they can never recapture
that unfettered rapture
of knowing your time is yours
until one day theyre sat there
wrapped up in their own little world
wondering what happened
how they made their whole life work
start to look for whats lacking
now they can afford what they think they deserve
turns out all they were after
was to laugh like they didnt have a care in the world
rich in their poverty

the englishman must accept his lot
he'll take their *****
he'll live their strife
untroubled by what he hasn't got
they'll take his rights
he'll think that's right
because that's what they taught him

imagine a world were we admit our fallibility
where ego is baseless
and we base our happiness
on happiness
wouldnt that be something
wouldnt it be something at least

the people that care dont care
theyre not there to help you
theyre there to get theirs
whether theyre directors doctors or nurses
theyre at work
they cant remember the last time their calling was heard
through the cacophony of their own phony words

you left him in hell
and ****** off to heaven
with your blonde **** and your flash cars
and your costa del sol tans
and while her kids went to private school
your kid got burgled
battered and spat at by the kenny rats
you left him as
yet you wonder why he bites

I am.
I do.

never play never win
the lure of the game
is contained therein
which way you turn
when the walls
pin you in
will decide the direction
you are going in

as soon as you make it a cause
there is an effect
equal and opposite
to everything you intend
the battle was lost
with your failure to comprehend
that by naming your intentions
you had them condemned

never chase too good to be true
if its good and true it will come to you
perfection sets perspective askew
has us hunting our tails and howling at the moon

same people sell the cures
sell the sickness
doctors are no more than ******
doing business
jacks of all trade
expect respect as masters
for their monopolised aid
Im sick of the *******

i remember the pain
as if it were yesterday
because it was yesterday
I began to exercise again

perception is a blind mans kaleidoscope
a journey into geometry unreal
a twist or a turn can make a liar of an eye
that cant see through the pattern revealed
when a one dimensional mindset
is projected upon a 2D field
the world around us shifts on its axis
and another dimension is seen to be
more real than the real three

letting go is as easy as getting old
it happens right before your eyes before you know it
those sore spots on your soul become worn with time and times told
worn with pride once nostalgias tired old trick of the mind takes over

often paths become sidetracks
the territory of your self is unmapped
destinations change
circumstance sets traps
on the way to end a life
life fights back

cant sleep for fear of waking
unbearable pain
a daily undertaking
escape a dream of death awaiting
no more days spent fading
constantly contemplating
what comes next
how to take the step
from now to nothingness
a leap of faith for the faithless
falling further faster
the closer it gets
the harder it is to hit the eject
no head for the exit

helpless and hopeless
making the most of
the time he had left
wasting his life on
nothing worth having
living for it
whats the worst
that could happen
everything that mattered
is already dead
cant stop the planet
to get off
spot the pattern
blew off his head

no ambition is no negative thing
I dont want to be what Ive been told I want to be
aiming for an ending seems so silly to me
when I look around and see a world so full of beginnings

it only takes a step back
from on the attack to see
that a confrontation can be
a coming together
if aside or astride
are the only stands you believe in
youre better sitting it out
on your own
forever

sometimes i think
maybe im not
cut out
for this life
usually im sure

it is accepted wisdom
that the system is the system
and theyll tell you if you listen
that the system cant be changed
that you must accept their wisdom
is a given you were given
before you knew you shouldnt listen
before you saw another way
they get us when we're children
force themselves into us
tell us noone else will listen
if we ever dare to say
make us culpable in our acquiescence
responsible for their hindrance
while the world around us keeps on spinning
theirs is still the only way

fame makes yarappy
money makes yarrich
rich makes ya a target
in dis particular petri dish
darlin
ya face is worth **** all ere
about da same as ya paid fer ya ****
an ya arrogant fukkn attitude
is as blown up as ya fukkn fake lips

ya ****.

there is a credibility gap
where your mouth is
the words coming out
are what a man says
from behind a mask
with his hands shaking
as he robs a bank
with a cucumber in a bin bag

****** would have won
had he had a hollywood
holocaust would have been fun
portrayed as playful folly for the common good
atrocity is only as bad
as the people paying to make it so
america was a popular fad
but its time for the world to let it go

Im not gonna chase
when Im not in the running
a shot at last place
is not what Im gunning for
if its join the rat race
with the other vermin or
fall flat on my face
I think Im better off down on the floor
where I was before

its only really beautiful the first time
after that youre leering
look away
take your glance at the trap of perfection
as a sign sent from heaven
that hell only beckons that way
anything theyre selling
the shiny **** theyre telling you
you think is necessary
are the things that keep you
locked in and focussing
processing nothing
but programming
feeding back
into the mouth that feeds
vomiting
its bile into the minds
of the majority
swallowing its tail
in the self fulfilling prophecy
that is the lie
at the heart
of the capitalist democracy

Im a courtisan of cortisone
I dream in adrenal tones
caught in thrall of them all
Im a dope fiend for my dopamine
but oxytocin is the belle of the ball
if only I could find some more to score

the ironic israeli
bombing their ghettoes daily
destroying homes
building walls and fences
segregating
using methods
learnt in bitter lessons
is degrading
but where all pain is forgotten
behaviours are ingrained

the asteroids only ever hit
when you have time
to look up and see them
otherwise you just exist
and then you dont
so in the dust of the aftermath
the mantra is
just keep breathing
no matter how counter intuitive
concentrate on it
it will clear your throat

those lines of thought that form your perspective
diverge upon crossing your limited horizons
the straight and true that became your direction
is skewed obtuse when viewed from afar

you are the blind eyes turned
to the orders following orders
you are the ignorant
bestowing your gift of bliss upon others
youll make a bad choice
when bad choices are all that are offered
then in that mans voice
you declare that your man is the man
to make the bad choices for all of us
then the man does what he does

my name shall be writ in water
as waves to be carried away
all knowledge of me
shall be lost to this sea
until I lap at your shores
once more
one day
one memory

if you disagree
you're a fool
fall for their fallacy
it's in the rules
they'll talk tales of terror
then make it the news
tell you you're the best
we're the best
when you approve their next move
remember your forefathers
all they had to lose
in wars they never started
though they did you'll never prove it
if you're not part
you're the part that needs removing
guilty of the dark arts
thinking one and one makes two
how very dare you

i need to get away
go away stay away
burn the bridge
on the way away
to anywhere the other way
from the way
im on my way to going

we are clumps of chaos
born to waste away
back into what made us
at the end of our stay
our brief coalescence
sentience we say
would be no less meaningless
without the words to describe it that way

when you speak to me
I can feel my skin prickling
reacting sympathetically
to what I can hear
that youre thinking
your words are a symphony
vocal tranquility
at once both enrapturing
and terrifyingly ******
I can hear your breathing
hear it catch when youre
contemplating
I hear your heart beating
faster and harder
in the tremble of your voice
and as youre nearing
I can hear your knees shivering
your toes curling
from your tone when you tell me
youve got to go

when the fall comes

if youre on the wall

youll be up against it

youre either for all

or for gone

the conclusion inevitable

they are us
and we are all
and what makes us the same
are our differences
until we can see that
we are parts of a whole
we will never be healed
of this sickness

who you are now
is all that you are to me
wont let the past
come before anything
if its a disaster
well what will be will be
but what if its not

lines on a map
like the lines in the sand
that defined them
are ephemera
intended to be rubbed away
at the end of the argument

it was never my argument

that is my argument

im anti this establishment and its arianism
i want to see it washed away
scrubbed bare of anything its touched
along with its pox bearing ways
that the rest of you need it spelling out
makes me wonder how i see
the filth this world is spilling out
while you all go on ******* at it so blindly

from a position of power
high atop their lofty towers
they expect us to cower
in their shadow is our darkest hour
meanwhile down in the trenches
guttersnipes fight over nighttime park benches
and the wretched fester
watching their masters gaining ever the better
fat cats get fatter
feeding on us as if taxes were rats
an unnatural disaster
caused by a ruling class to whom life doesnt matter

if i thought i had the words youd want to hear
id write them down and post them
here, there and everywhere
wear every sole i own down
making sure you know im there for you
you are my soul now
dont let your fears turn into tears
youre not alone
ya daft cow

until you've eaten
crushed up vitamin pills on toast
get the **** out of my face