because i wanted it
it wasnt for me
nothing i ever wanted
came to be
i wish i believed
in something
anything
i could have faked
until i made it
more real than this reality
ive faced my fears and beaten them
in turn taken a battering
far from fearless
shed my tears
alone in aftermaths
repeatedly
now the ends approaching fast
forcing my hand again
necessity
my mother taught me that
invent after the fact
face your enemy
and try to make a new friend

enemies
we need more enemies
a friend in deed
is a friend you cant depend on
to fuel an economy

one day this imbalance
will tip us into the sea
with the souths weight sinking
and the north again rising
before sliding gracefully
into obscurity

yud say av gorra chip on me shoulder
if i adunett it
am from fukkn inner city liverpool la
an a won' letya fuggerit
yer posh scrans jus werds ter me
so gerrit down ya neck
instedda waxin lyrical abar it
coz a doh no wot ya jus sed

youve missed all the shots you didnt make
and youve taken all the shots you can take
now youre down on your knees
breathing hard
hardly believing
that you havent even started the race yet
yet theyre taking bets on your final time
when they can cross you out with a finishing line
as your heart all but beats out of your chest

every next time we meet
is the first time i see you
again

wanted to say hello
before my goodbyes
didnt want to die
with these thoughts still inside
so long ago now
i hope you can smile
when our times come to mind
as i smile when the smile in your eyes
comes to mine
for my wrongs i apologise
you were right
to spread your wings and fly
i was so proud
to hear your dreams arrived
i always knew they would

knowledge is the prerequisite tool to freedom
all knowledge must be free
where there are no secrets there can be only equals
thence each to their own capability
capability harnessed created the world we see today
imagine capability unleashed
armed to the teeth
with the spoils of the twenty first centuries wealthiest elite
we can wallow in the world conserved for our forebears
or stride forth into any future we meet
replete in the armour that forewarned forearmed us for
knowing what happens
when we let our fears of what happens
stop what needs to happen to be free of our fears

no news may be good news
but your silence is violence
when im waiting to see
if im waiting to be seen
as a statistic or a patient
of the perpetual NHS crisis

would today be today
if tomorrow never came
can things always stay the same
if nothing ever changes
got lost on the way
to where im going
from where i came
from the cradle to the grave
ive been walking in circles

she was born
tomorrow and yesterday
as lives came and went
and came again
searching for something
she needed today
that she lost in another another
the circles she describes
never change
in locus mortis
ex lucis vitae
diminishing
increasing
repeating again
could be hell
or heaven
if it mattered

oil and water

you and me

never seeing

where we meet

in the middle

through lifes long list of lost loves repeating
the only lesson ive learned
is that it has to be fleeting
for it to return

all i can remember
is the hell ive been living
seems like its been like this
since the very beginning
though i hope thats not true
life before the fall was hardly heaven
everything is better in memory
than it is at the present

the man with the clock
says timing is everything
the man at the dock
thinks his ship has come in
the man with his head on the block
sees the future coming
whilst the man with the worst of bad luck
tries again

sweating like a **** at a parent teacher meeting
stinking like a dead baby stuck behind the central heating
coughing up me lungs like ive been smoking tuberculosis
sitting soggy in so much snot its not hard to get a diagnosis
coz ive got...
man flu
and you know theres nothing worse
man flu
itd be a blessing to be cursed
instead ive got...
man flu
and a headache the size of the universe
but im a man and ill survive
ive got time and pharmaceuticals on my side
im not just going to lie down and die
no thats a lie
because im dyyyyyyyyyyying!

capitalism holds you to account
and if the books dont balance youre out
the age has passed when nuclear clout
was more dangerous than the trading floor shout

if we were each a minority of one
suddenly all our minorities are gone
the politicians have no place
there is no such thing as race
and together we can all move on

we live in a time
when there are three
martyrs to the future
on the face of the planet
who with history assured
have no now

HR drones and civil serve ants
only following orders
from the camp commandant
letter of the law
spelt with a capital punishment
do as youre told
is the mantra of the sycophant

this world ends with me
ill close my eyes
breathe my last goodbye
to this husk of the could have been
retreating inside
winking out like a light
becoming more
than the sum of my humble being
post human
entropy
past and future concentrically
time has no meaning
til darkness eternals curtain
pierced explosively
reveals a new beginning
universal certainty

what do you take from the man that has lost everything
who is paying the price for not playing
in the game of life style before substance is king
a broken pawn to the brokers isn't worth anything

the views of the few
can make the views of the few
seem like the views of the many
what the news tells you
in the voice of the few
is that the voice of the few
speaks for the choices of many
more fool you

one day you will remember me
our lives are entwined inextricably
youll pay for your mistakes in agony
feel every pain you left me to feel
i tried to rely on your integrity
gave as much respect as you deigned deny to me
now i see you for the man you know yourself to be
ill know you as my martyr
you die with me

life
I can take it
or live it.

how many
lived to see another day
because the camp commandant
was at a party for the dead

I spent me evening on the receiving end of a crap rap song
with a strap in me face an me back door gone
both the entrance and the exit if youre following on
coz five balaclavas and a glock got the block wrong

irons in fires
requiring firing iron
brass knuckles
brass necks
steel will bent under stress
fingers bent under duress
tied taxed and twatted
left messed up hair matted
in copper red
another bent copper dead

when im tired
i cant keep up the pretence
that im like you
i fluff my lines
miss my cues
lose all the nuance
that helps me play human
revert to form
become bemused
begin to despise
everything you do
seen through my eyes
you become see through
a self serving disguise
'cause if i could see you
id eat you alive

dented

                             fragmented

battered

                             bruised

monosyllabic

                             after a mile

in another mans

                             shoes

if you could make her think
you'd be ****** her mind
a glance in her direction
marks you out as one of "those" kind
romantic suggestion
will be remembered as a hate crime
the only dating you'll be doing later
is with your name on the dotted line

magic flows
from my fingers
flowing
it lingers
lovingly
in my ear
holding her
letting her breathe
making her sing
makes me happy
to be here
she whispers to me
oscillates
at my frequency
lets me speak
my soliloquy
without saying a word
what a waste of life i would be
with no ability for creativity
i have a need for my heart beating
while my soul still has melody
yet to be heard

is the proliferation of zombies
a reaction or a rejection
or simply our society through our societies eyes
rapt in our own reflection

wont be long before shes blowing trumps trumpet
***** little cuntservertive strumpet
armageddons coming unelected to the ball
this ******* party is going to drown us all
military fluffers for when the going gets tough
were all going **** diving and its going to be rough
all the ****** in the universe couldnt help me get it up
for our new prime sinister and its new world ******

can you miss
what has never been
if youve never seen it
can you trust your feelings
can you risk
what could be everything
on a chance meeting
with potential eternity
can you stop questioning
whats right before you
because you cant believe it
can what you want ever be
until you accept what she sees
isnt what youre seeing

id been rolling ******
gathering moss
for as long as i remember
until the day i came across you
so i stopped
changed my course on the spot
set myself on a path
that now im on
i cant step off
until i get to where im going
whether i like it or not
ive got to keep on rolling
from the bottom to the top

Holy See holy do
so full of holes
youre wholly see through
you speak of evil
hear in evil
see no evil
do you?
look inside you
youll find who
your guidebook describes as
the beast of revelation

there is no right
there is but the weighted balance of time
all wrongs in their moment
had their merit

writing beats and rhymes
at the same time
theyre both the same
in my eyes
always looking for the pattern
like a frame
to hang the words upon
or to surround them
in percussion
every word has place in time
replacing bass with lines
a scribe to my racing mind
the rhymes hi hat rise punctuating
the punching reverberating bass drum
kicking your brain in

your dark past
casts long shadows
in your new light
lies defined
projected far and wide
in sharp relief
no protection
revisionist excision
cuts deep
inconsequential
exsanguination
for all to see

while your wisdom of crowds
is our rule of the mob
and where you are profound
we are obstinate
when you are always right
and we are always wrong
we're all going to have a problem
moving on

aim to die old
with the cold
in your bones
so the ground
when it calls
feels like home
or live your life
like the fire
burning brighter
than your funeral pyre
hotter than the heart
of the sun

repetition is the mom of *******
replace a tongue with yours
you own the conversation
before they know
youll own their souls
their gold
their nation
theyll even praise you
for your every definition of dictation

be rated or berated
what choice have you got
no room for mediocrity
in societies melting ***
aspire to higher places
or expire in the rotten hole
you call a home
poor and forgotten

sold as seen
seen as more
more is sold
all glimmer no gold
marketed as wanted
bought a millionfold
herds of willing customers
wearing your blindfolds

if do what thou wilt
is to be the whole of the law
what of the inevitable transgressor
an eye for an eye
is just the blind leading the blind
but minds leading minds is no better

a picture may be worth a thousand words
but until you paint me a *******
two will have to do

freedom only exists
because we need it

the clarity of sobriety
can be a sobering experience
makes you realise the reasons why
you were ****** in the first instance
the thought of spending the rest of your life
in a post substance subsistence
pretending to the core of your existence
that you dont really miss it
is a lie

as I gazed into the darkness
I suddenly knew
she had become the light
in somebody elses sky
no debating what the heart says
cant unsee the truth
that the coming of the dark night
starts in the eyes