im
physically
mentally
socially
economically
ideologically
basica­lly
bereft

if I tell you I'm fine
I mostly mean I'm wearing thin
a fish on a line
fighting futility with the net closing in
caught in a bind
the knot biting into my skin
if it's all in the mind
why do the scars ache so much
I can feel them

im to be pitifully joyous
for the life ive been given
to be ecstatically happy
given my lot
i should look to my betters
give them my fealty
respect my elders
give them what ive got

sometimes i think
maybe im not
cut out
for this life
usually im sure

how much must I lose to find myself
I need the world to stop turning to try to tell
whether Im moving forward or standing still
if I am up to my eyeballs or up to my elbows

our enemies are not our enemies
their enmity ends
when our friends and benificiaries
begin to make amends
for the long list of atrocities
we have committed against them
in the demonic name of democracy
and the freedom it pretends to represent

what hope do I have
when my last chance for help is the hangman
who holds my life in his hands and never wavers from his agenda
yet I am expected to stay calm and collected
present the better angels of my nature to be tested
as apoplectic representations of anguish are never accepted

there comes a time
when the time comes
we call that time
the time
the time always comes
eventually
time
after time
after time

its cold in that void where you were
when i wander there wondering where
youre being warm
my heart feels as dead as a stone on a pebble shore
dearly departed
discarded
alone

time scratches past infuriatingly
catching upon every tangle along the way
stretching tortured moments taut
excruciating
tearing when its all too much to take

judge the cover by the book
theres more inside the more you look
behind the eyes is where the best stuff is found
the stuff you cant touch
stuff like love and lust
the longing
to have something longer than a lifetime
could ever hope to have time enough

when im tired
i cant keep up the pretence
that im like you
i fluff my lines
miss my cues
lose all the nuance
that helps me play human
revert to form
become bemused
begin to despise
everything you do
seen through my eyes
you become see through
a self serving disguise
'cause if i could see you
id eat you alive

time and tide wait for noone
sink or ride the waves of sorrow
pounding at the shores of tomorrow
washing clean the life you borrow
fill your hourglass watch its tumble
signify your times of trouble
clarity is an empty bubble
sitting over a sandy puddle

never play never win
the lure of the game
is contained therein
which way you turn
when the walls
pin you in
will decide the direction
you are going in

until you've eaten
crushed up vitamin pills on toast
get the **** out of my face

that which you covet controls you
keeps your soul in its grasp
makes you do what it asks
then consumes you with the tasks
it requires of your time
to be held in your hands
whilst never defining
who owns who

aimed for the sun
found the ground
floundered rolling uphill
rolled back down
could have been a king
ended up a clown
stuck on this labyrinthine
merry go round

its not the end of the world

just the end of you

man up

do what you have to do

ive come to see biting the hand that feeds
as a virtue
i like to let you know that you can bleed
i can hurt you
that nothing that you can do for me
is enough to
stop me going for your throat

cant do right for doing wrong
been caught short for far too long
repeatedly beaten down for being proud
refusing to play along
thats the weakness in being strong

if existence had messed up
crossed paths on a different azimuth
missed us
would christmas still be christmas?

lies need to be caught
truth needs to be free
anyone can see that
undeniably
so you close your eyes
put your fingers in your ears
ignore both for your happiness
live blissfully

lost myself
in the mire of my mind
up to my eyeballs
in closed in horizons
cant trust my senses
seek and ye shall find
left me defenceless
relentlessly demented

be safe
be happy
be loved
my love
be proud
be stubborn
be strong
my love
i tried
i couldnt
i lost
my love
goodbye
my love
goodbye

the key to longevity is knowing when to quit
but how does one go about starting it
its never a good feeling when a **** turns to ****
so if all you can do is follow through
make a splash and take the hit

im old enough now
to see the patterns repeating
the cycles of life
the ever decreasing circles
repeating repeating repeating
while i stay the same
repeating days as if decades
accruing wisdom and rime in equal measure
spectating the game
seeing and saying
waiting for the day when the circles align
and the sky catches fire

need some what fors
no more whys
to transition
from the in
to the outside

you feel the lows more
feel them cavitating at your core
so that when the highs soar
you know to take wing

knowledge is the prerequisite tool to freedom
all knowledge must be free
where there are no secrets there can be only equals
thence each to their own capability
capability harnessed created the world we see today
imagine capability unleashed
armed to the teeth
with the spoils of the twenty first centuries wealthiest elite
we can wallow in the world conserved for our forebears
or stride forth into any future we meet
replete in the armour that forewarned forearmed us for
knowing what happens
when we let our fears of what happens
stop what needs to happen to be free of our fears

oil and water

you and me

never seeing

where we meet

in the middle

if you could make her think
you'd be ****** her mind
a glance in her direction
marks you out as one of "those" kind
romantic suggestion
will be remembered as a hate crime
the only dating you'll be doing later
is with your name on the dotted line

Hello Doc,

You'll have to excuse me,

as it's been a while since you and I

have seen eye to eye about what I see as the reality of my reality.

From out here on the precipice, overlooking the depths of the great abyss

I have to say this,

I'm feeling fine.

Holy See holy do
so full of holes
youre wholly see through
you speak of evil
hear in evil
see no evil
do you?
look inside you
youll find who
your guidebook describes as
the beast of revelation

there is a rock bottom
Id just got comfortable
when the **** fell out
now Im on a spike in hells basement
spit roasted flayed filleted
wishing I was back where Id started
with a life I still cared about

of exalted larks and white lilies
whence she came
her beauty dazzles
hence for a jewel she is named
to glance at this vision
to try not to look away
is to fear being blinded
if she smiles as she gives you your change

Im so tired
even breathing is a chore
Im not sure I want to keep doing it any more
I tried
but after a lifetime Im bored
of the days all being the same as the one before

just like cancer
you keep cutting
until you know for sure
just like lancing a chancre
you scrape
until the blood runs pure
just like dressing a burn
you scrub and ignore the screams
til the flesh is like new
just like now
you must accept that some good must die
to ensure that all the bad is removed

the irony is
that ends prompt actions
its always too late
once procrastination
lets go of the chains
that have held you back from
the things that you would have liked to have done

im not allowed my own echo chamber
so yours fills my void
fulfills my every living need
by making me avoid
thinking about anything
that could make you annoyed
when questioning what living needs
you give the child more toys

inequality must be maintained
no two things in nature are the same
it is a fallacy for us to force them to be
when so much more is gained from the differences
than the similarities

nothing left in a right world
conservatism and conservation are not compatible
consumerism is their watchword
devouring everything worth anything their will

know where youre going
accept what youve done
look yourself in the eye again
remember when
then forget and move on

those lines of thought that form your perspective
diverge upon crossing your limited horizons
the straight and true that became your direction
is skewed obtuse when viewed from afar

if i could
i wouldnt have to
that i cant
is why i must

i found a faith in the word
i couldnt find any other way
talking to myself or the wall
to while the days away
now im finding old friends
again
i find have nothing left to say
my whole mind is laid bare
right here
so i can just quote what i wrote
over thousands of lonely yesterdays

when the fall comes

if youre on the wall

youll be up against it

youre either for all

or for gone

the conclusion inevitable

sunday morning
eating bird seed
watching birds feed
on discarded chips
and scattered shreds
of last nights
lost kebab

helpless and hopeless
making the most of
the time he had left
wasting his life on
nothing worth having
living for it
whats the worst
that could happen
everything that mattered
is already dead
cant stop the planet
to get off
spot the pattern
blew off his head

Im not gonna chase
when Im not in the running
a shot at last place
is not what Im gunning for
if its join the rat race
with the other vermin or
fall flat on my face
I think Im better off down on the floor
where I was before

the lesson you missed
because oblivious
you were earning
is that while you were feathering your nest
your tree was burning