i kept nothing fresh
that i could let rot on the vine
didnt need divinity
to make water from wine
drank my fill from the cup of life
then lay down to die
where i lay still
waiting for time

if existence had messed up
crossed paths on a different azimuth
missed us
would christmas still be christmas?

time and tide wait for noone
sink or ride the waves of sorrow
pounding at the shores of tomorrow
washing clean the life you borrow
fill your hourglass watch its tumble
signify your times of trouble
clarity is an empty bubble
sitting over a sandy puddle

oil and water

you and me

never seeing

where we meet

in the middle

need some what fors
no more whys
to transition
from the in
to the outside

im to be pitifully joyous
for the life ive been given
to be ecstatically happy
given my lot
i should look to my betters
give them my fealty
respect my elders
give them what ive got

cant do right for doing wrong
been caught short for far too long
repeatedly beaten down for being proud
refusing to play along
thats the weakness in being strong

the key to longevity is knowing when to quit
but how does one go about starting it
its never a good feeling when a **** turns to ****
so if all you can do is follow through
make a splash and take the hit

im
physically
mentally
socially
economically
ideologically
basica­lly
bereft

there is a rock bottom
Id just got comfortable
when the **** fell out
now Im on a spike in hells basement
spit roasted flayed filleted
wishing I was back where Id started
with a life I still cared about

am I dying?
is this lie I'm lying in
not my death bed?
was I not born and raised
taught and trained
to be the man I am?
so who failed then?
me whose way was barred
went wayward
as would any so tarred
and feathered
when the wind is
buffeting
nary a smorgasbord
nor a lilting breeze for me
nought but the storm
caught four square
dead on
can tame what ails thee

all good things came to an end
but the bad goes on and on
still struggling trying to comprehend
being a lonely only son without a mum

Hello Doc,

You'll have to excuse me,

as it's been a while since you and I

have seen eye to eye about what I see as the reality of my reality.

From out here on the precipice, overlooking the depths of the great abyss

I have to say this,

I'm feeling fine.

we'll travel ever forward
our fragmented bullet
praying for nothing in the way
painting targets on the sky
killing and dying for them
until we all come together one day
when there's no way left to be saved

knowledge is the prerequisite tool to freedom
all knowledge must be free
where there are no secrets there can be only equals
thence each to their own capability
capability harnessed created the world we see today
imagine capability unleashed
armed to the teeth
with the spoils of the twenty first centuries wealthiest elite
we can wallow in the world conserved for our forebears
or stride forth into any future we meet
replete in the armour that forewarned forearmed us for
knowing what happens
when we let our fears of what happens
stop what needs to happen to be free of our fears

the more you crave the pinnacle
the easier it is to forget
that the lower you start
the less height you can expect
that you have to be dried out
to even start getting wet
you have to be drowning in it
to be caught in their net

Im so tired
even breathing is a chore
Im not sure I want to keep doing it any more
I tried
but after a lifetime Im bored
of the days all being the same as the one before

ive come to see biting the hand that feeds
as a virtue
i like to let you know that you can bleed
i can hurt you
that nothing that you can do for me
is enough to
stop me going for your throat

if i could
i wouldnt have to
that i cant
is why i must

the irony is
that ends prompt actions
its always too late
once procrastination
lets go of the chains
that have held you back from
the things that you would have liked to have done

im not allowed my own echo chamber
so yours fills my void
fulfills my every living need
by making me avoid
thinking about anything
that could make you annoyed
when questioning what living needs
you give the child more toys

be safe
be happy
be loved
my love
be proud
be stubborn
be strong
my love
i tried
i couldnt
i lost
my love
goodbye
my love
goodbye

inequality must be maintained
no two things in nature are the same
it is a fallacy for us to force them to be
when so much more is gained from the differences
than the similarities

know where youre going
accept what youve done
look yourself in the eye again
remember when
then forget and move on

sometimes
talking to myself
is like talking to a brick wall
cant get any sense at all
from a man talking walking
the long walk
from a short pier
into the abyssal

what hope do I have
when my last chance for help is the hangman
who holds my life in his hands and never wavers from his agenda
yet I am expected to stay calm and collected
present the better angels of my nature to be tested
as apoplectic representations of anguish are never accepted

time scratches past infuriatingly
catching upon every tangle along the way
stretching tortured moments taut
excruciating
tearing when its all too much to take

sometimes the pain is a relief
i can stop grieving for a moment
im not mourning me
im crying for what could have been
there is a wisdom in agony
that allows the penitent to make his atonement
no regrets is a fallacy
when one comes face to face with eternity

if you refuse
youre refuse
and theyll do
what they do

you feel the lows more
feel them cavitating at your core
so that when the highs soar
you know to take wing

Im not gonna chase
when Im not in the running
a shot at last place
is not what Im gunning for
if its join the rat race
with the other vermin or
fall flat on my face
I think Im better off down on the floor
where I was before

those lines of thought that form your perspective
diverge upon crossing your limited horizons
the straight and true that became your direction
is skewed obtuse when viewed from afar

high and dry
sounds like a place
youd want to be to me
a preponderance of possibility
so why does it feel
like im drowning in it
frowning cynically

i feel the dawn
as a living thing
invigorating
the new life
stillborn by dusk

its not the end of the world

just the end of you

man up

do what you have to do

helpless and hopeless
making the most of
the time he had left
wasting his life on
nothing worth having
living for it
whats the worst
that could happen
everything that mattered
is already dead
cant stop the planet
to get off
spot the pattern
blew off his head

that which you covet controls you
keeps your soul in its grasp
makes you do what it asks
then consumes you with the tasks
it requires of your time
to be held in your hands
whilst never defining
who owns who

the calm that escapes me
waits for a space in the cloud
unabating
patient now
breaking down
building
creating
destroying and remaking
my mind up

im old enough now
to see the patterns repeating
the cycles of life
the ever decreasing circles
repeating repeating repeating
while i stay the same
repeating days as if decades
accruing wisdom and rime in equal measure
spectating the game
seeing and saying
waiting for the day when the circles align
and the sky catches fire

we will take what is yours
to make it everyones
forever
for every door you close
a window opens to let us
we are not a cause
we are the reaction to your measures
you do it to yourselves
we'll take the blame and the credit

the first take is the best take
get it while its yours
no pressure
take a deep breath of fresh air
let it out raw
ROAR!
then give it some more
nothing better than best
ever represented itself
in take two three or four
legends let it rest in one
peace out
when they remember to press record

sunday morning
eating bird seed
watching birds feed
on discarded chips
and scattered shreds
of last nights
lost kebab

we look for wealth
amidst the poverty
searching with straining eyes
for signs of joy
so we can again look away
with our souls salved
our curiosity sated
and our lids unmoved
in our sleep

every next time we meet
is the first time i see you
again

just like cancer
you keep cutting
until you know for sure
just like lancing a chancre
you scrape
until the blood runs pure
just like dressing a burn
you scrub and ignore the screams
til the flesh is like new
just like now
you must accept that some good must die
to ensure that all the bad is removed

is the proliferation of zombies
a reaction or a rejection
or simply our society through our societies eyes
rapt in our own reflection

of exalted larks and white lilies
whence she came
her beauty dazzles
hence for a jewel she is named
to glance at this vision
to try not to look away
is to fear being blinded
if she smiles as she gives you your change

i found a faith in the word
i couldnt find any other way
talking to myself or the wall
to while the days away
now im finding old friends
again
i find have nothing left to say
my whole mind is laid bare
right here
so i can just quote what i wrote
over thousands of lonely yesterdays

when the fall comes

if youre on the wall

youll be up against it

youre either for all

or for gone

the conclusion inevitable

we were once supernovae
roiling bundles of energy
chaos barely constrained
yet we survived our brightening
that we now must fade
is the nature of our being
we were giants of the sky
in our moment
but we shaped our own destiny