i met a girl.
she makes me feel.
alive again.
it might be real.
she smiles at me.
and what i see.
is blinding me.
i cant believe.
its happening.
shes more.
than i could ever be.
or want.
shes everything i need.
i cant believe.
its happening.
i met a girl.
she makes me feel.

remember when we were fresh friends
remember good times neverending
remember laughter transcending
everything
remember friends are forever

if there is glamour
in being anti it
you enamour it
so you make it so
your cause needs to be effective
so you affect it
keep the kudos coming
take your percentage
make the next gig
bigger than the one before
nothing less than
armageddon wins it
sell another ticket
on with the show

"where's everyone gone"
the new life asked
"they've gone back to where they came from
back to dust"
said time
"but who will show me the way"
asked youth
"life will"
spoke age
who'd seen it all before
and had the patience of aeons
"but I need to know now"
demanded naivety
"yes, you do"
said wisdom, with a smile.

a vision of youth
as blind as a bat
shouting into the darkness before it
only heeding the echoes bouncing back
self fulfilling prophecy
doesnt know that it doesnt know that
continues to be what it believes that its seeing
ignorance becomes fact

a picture may be worth a thousand words
but until you paint me a *******
two will have to do

these humans being
a plague of inhumanity
a cancer spreading
this human disease

another tomorrow
is one too many
when all life is lost
and only pain remains
waking to another day of torture
   yesterday

stopped stone still
gathering moss
stopped watch tells time
whats what
stopped dropped
tames flames

it is an eternal shame

to leave it so late in the day

to say what we say

in obituary

if insight is inciteful
should i look away?
cant unsee the lies
with an eyeful
see what Im saying?
say what i see
cant deny i say it seethingly
if thats a crime
then im a criminal
not guiltily

the shadows that are darkest
on the brightest of days
become lighter as the night falls
fading away

it is accepted wisdom
that the system is the system
and theyll tell you if you listen
that the system cant be changed
that you must accept their wisdom
is a given you were given
before you knew you shouldnt listen
before you saw another way
they get us when we're children
force themselves into us
tell us noone else will listen
if we ever dare to say
make us culpable in our acquiescence
responsible for their hindrance
while the world around us keeps on spinning
theirs is still the only way

the life that I would have to live
to get out of the life that I have been living
requires more life than I have life to give
and more time than I was given

when you lose the illusion
when the light shines through
when your dreams are shattered
all that is left to accrue
is all that matters
even when its cruel
brutal truth though painful
is no less true

in time even the unchangeable changes
flat unending plains raised into peaked mountain ranges
swirling seas became the deserts reign
immutable is movable
things will never be the same

cant mend broken bridges with the sticks and stones that broke them
they say names never hurt but they stick in the throat at both ends
the first cut is defensive the deeper wounds come with words oft repeated
with the mean comes the end no more love no more friends no more feelings except self defeated

energy causing matter to coalesce
bodies formed the function inherent
sentient life from chemical process
no gods just chance no more no less

i wonder what nastiness happened today
while royal nonentities beguiled the gullible
lost under the dress the smiles the parade
will be the things the government couldnt make possible
any other way

there is no right
there is but the weighted balance of time
all wrongs in their moment
had their merit

what of the shapes
we dont see in the clouds
the things that are there
but not for our eyes
are they any less real
than those recognised
like the face of a friend
not seen in a long time

you dont need hands to catch you
once youve learnt how to fly
safety is the net you have to escape
if you ever expect to reach the sky
rules are for the few to control the many
so that the few can thrive
you owe no justification for your own satisfaction
no other reason than your own reason why

listen to both sides
accept the truth
no one is divisible by two

we are clumps of chaos
born to waste away
back into what made us
at the end of our stay
our brief coalescence
sentience we say
would be no less meaningless
without the words to describe it that way

sometimes i think
maybe im not
cut out
for this life
usually im sure

the rage is my suicide
trying to save me
building walls on my shores
to break waves
to ensure i dont succumb to the tsunami

crawl to the gallows
or go swimming with the sharks in the shallows
dig deep for the hard place
hollow out the marrow
while the rocks keep piling up
building my barrow

you left him in hell
and ****** off to heaven
with your blonde **** and your flash cars
and your costa del sol tans
and while her kids went to private school
your kid got burgled
battered and spat at by the kenny rats
you left him as
yet you wonder why he bites

where next
sailing on this dry riverbed
paddle harder
bow your head
stern master said
work up a sweat
make it easier on yourself
give you somethin
to drown in

never play never win
the lure of the game
is contained therein
which way you turn
when the walls
pin you in
will decide the direction
you are going in

there comes a time
when the time comes
we call that time
the time
the time always comes
eventually
time
after time
after time

if I tell you I'm fine
I mostly mean I'm wearing thin
a fish on a line
fighting futility with the net closing in
caught in a bind
the knot biting into my skin
if it's all in the mind
why do the scars ache so much
I can feel them

id have killed myself
stopping me killing myself
if id had to
when the rope bites
the truth bites
and you do what you have to do
to survive

what do you do
when your sustenance
becomes your torture
when every mouthful
equals an hour of your future
feeling mortal
when every missed mouthful
is the slow cold unsleeping road
to the same destination
when every thought of it is tainted
by your need and your hate of it

history has only one lesson to tell

take note

i spend my days
rearranging
data on the computer
my machine
is almost psychically
connected to its user
everything is laid out logically
in this universe of illusion
to take a step away
into the chaos reign
of the real world
is an intrusion
soon be back again
sustenance attained
level up
and on with the mission
in the only game
ill willingly play
waiting to waste away
in front of the television

through lifes long list of lost loves repeating
the only lesson ive learned
is that it has to be fleeting
for it to return

superlative hyperbole
describes the man
the culture
the nation
so imagine what a sight it will be
by far the greatest assassination

some are born
staring at the sun
becoming blinder
as their eyes widen
with every day begun
in warmth and comfort

judge the cover by the book
theres more inside the more you look
behind the eyes is where the best stuff is found
the stuff you cant touch
stuff like love and lust
the longing
to have something longer than a lifetime
could ever hope to have time enough

its cold in that void where you were
when i wander there wondering where
youre being warm
my heart feels as dead as a stone on a pebble shore
dearly departed
discarded
alone

our enemies are not our enemies
their enmity ends
when our friends and benificiaries
begin to make amends
for the long list of atrocities
we have committed against them
in the demonic name of democracy
and the freedom it pretends to represent

how much must I lose to find myself
I need the world to stop turning to try to tell
whether Im moving forward or standing still
if I am up to my eyeballs or up to my elbows

exponential potential wasted
all shiny baubles and pretty faces
prototype for a vacant nation
flag held high before the setting sun

lost myself
in the mire of my mind
up to my eyeballs
in closed in horizons
cant trust my senses
seek and ye shall find
left me defenceless
relentlessly demented

when im tired
i cant keep up the pretence
that im like you
i fluff my lines
miss my cues
lose all the nuance
that helps me play human
revert to form
become bemused
begin to despise
everything you do
seen through my eyes
you become see through
a self serving disguise
'cause if i could see you
id eat you alive

if the police cant police the police
then what use are they?
push the whole barrel into the sea
before the rot taints everything
if the law is to be believed
enforcement needs to be believable
but believe you me youll see
from the receiving end
theyre nothing if not predictable
because ultimately
all
coppers
are
bent

until you've eaten
crushed up vitamin pills on toast
get the **** out of my face

aimed for the sun
found the ground
floundered rolling uphill
rolled back down
could have been a king
ended up a clown
stuck on this labyrinthine
merry go round

im burning all my bridges so theres no way back
my only defence for them is on the attack
in the end theyll understand that there was method in the madness
anger is the antidote to sadness

Im struggling to keep the pain within
showing its hated pitiful face to the world
while the raging storm swirls around me
I in the eye am utterly calm
be very afraid

****** would have won
had he had a hollywood
holocaust would have been fun
portrayed as playful folly for the common good
atrocity is only as bad
as the people paying to make it so
america was a popular fad
but its time for the world to let it go