shouldnt need one
to have some
shouldnt have one
to not

come to me
I await you bated
willingly
take what is yours my queen
take me into you
slathering
gibbering
in that way that you make me do
make my mouth yours to please
grace my lips with one of your many names
so that I may cry out in idolatrous exaltation
and in the vicious debasement of curs
that is the tongue of my lust for you

please understand
that you reap what you sow with me
im way beyond right or wrong
at this point in proceedings
nothing you say now can change how
our end is beginning
it started way farther back
than youre comprehending
that this is the first that youve heard
is your singular failing
you would have been well prepared
had you been concentrating
its been sixteen years
since i came to my senses
and ive shown you every single day
**** the consequences

days become weeks become months become years
time measured by rejection
biweekly fears
face to face no compassion
pride mirrored in the eyes of a stranger
appears deflated
the reflection is harsh
your humanity barely tolerated.

she brought colour to my dull life
made vivid my muted hues
cast the dark places bright
love makes light
illuminating my way through
now her colours have faded
pastels where once there were primes
where my longing eyes see our iridescence
she sees the cold ashes of her fire
if my lost burning soul could reignite it
Id make tinder of my broken heart
but the only hope that I have for the love I once had
is that she makes a fresh start

i have become master at accepting circumstance
withstand disaster without changing countenance
the last decade has brought me nothing less
but brief breathing spaces in a suffocating nothingness

say nottn if yer asked
ask nottn if ya told
keep yer eyes straight ahead
an ya toes follow ya nose
keep walkin
til ya get ter where ya goin
oh youll know where ya goin
when ya get there
dont ya know
ya know
youll get ter where ya goin when ya know

who called shotgun?
boom!
got them
shoulda stayed at home
if ya comin
i allot whos doin what
this aint a democracy
im the ****** despot
you that ****** desperate to get shot?
shut the **** up
sit the **** down
and me and you will get along
say another word
and your journey wont be long
im not in the mood
for whatever **** youve got goin on
this is MY ****** song

have words but no sense
tense
stressed as a consequence
useless
take a

breath

breath

breath

try again in sec
count to ten
reflect
.
.
.
procrastinate instead
spend the day in bed
.
.
.
reset

blue like your blood
blue like your dead face
enjoy the party
youre a ******* disgrace
i wouldnt **** on you
in a put out the fire race
id accept the loss
watch you burn til theres no trace
sometimes coming last
is no loss in this rat race
you think its tough at the top
try being last in the first place

you cant hide a lemon
in the limelight
cant swap the fore
for the hindsight
cant choose to ignore
what is right there before you
without blaming the outcome
on your lack of insight

i make no apologies
for my words steadily
building into anthologies
but i feel i must say im sorry
for my lack of poetic knowledge
leading to reams of verbal slurry
i must add at this point in proceedings
that i think im doing well given educations failings
but dont expect too much entertaining
theres only so far i can go on my GCSE gradings

we should **** the ruling class in their beds
make no mistake
they would chop off our heads
if the roles were reversed
some quirks of fate interspersed
if they were as poor and if we were as blessed

lines on a map
like the lines in the sand
that defined them
are ephemera
intended to be rubbed away
at the end of the argument

it was never my argument

that is my argument

the clarity of sobriety
can be a sobering experience
makes you realise the reasons why
you were ****** in the first instance
the thought of spending the rest of your life
in a post substance subsistence
pretending to the core of your existence
that you dont really miss it
is a lie

we are all born a blank canvas
yet few become artists
most lay down their uniform lives
grateful to catch the drips

how do i become everything i despise
in order to fit my mishapen thoughts
into the cracks undercutting
their fundamentally broken world
how do i overcome the revulsion
of seeing my reflection in the mirror
knowing every step i take towards financial freedom
binds me tighter to the oar bench of a sinking ship
set afloat on a sea of abject poverty
every tainted pound i make i steal from another
in this competition of survival where
natural selection is bypassed in the name of
exponential consumption
every meal i buy i steal from the lips
of someone who will never taste sweet promise again
every penny i pay in tax
to sustain a long dead dream
kills another man i dont know
with a bullet he wont hear
in a land i cant visit
as anything other than a culpable murderer
my shame arresting me with a jurisdiction
no court of human "rights" can ever understand
how do i look around me
at those that commit blind atrocity
in the name of demonic democracy
with their ignorant bliss
and not want to ravage their pretty
pampered throats with my teeth
spilling their warm careless lives
into the dust at their feet
of those that failed to learn
the lessons of the past
or saw the revolving door of politics
spit out clone after differently hued clone
painted with the same brush
hewn from the same men of the cloth
and came away spun and believing the hype
without ever acknowledging the possibility
of another radical option
how, in words without the ambiguity
of those with a reputation to protect
and a dollar to make
do i **** everything and everyone
that makes life a race to be run
a game to be played
and a resource to be monetarised
plagiarised and dominated,
alone.

have you ever felt
like you have the truth of the universe
on the tip of your tongue
and that if you could only get silence
youd be able to hear all the answers
being whispered on the wind
waiting to be heard

i slept perchance to dream
saw the black loom of eternity
spin out a blanket of the real
with no comfort
it was comforting
to know all that i see
is part of something
with no human taint
the infinite explains
the finite nature of human restraint
spread upon the winds
a seed of life without our massive weight
is as light as light can be
on a sea of waves with no anchors chain
to tie us to the bedrock
of our infinitely complex brain
the problem lay in opened eyes
to heavy waking life again

sometimes I crack
become all I despise
overtly human
I empathise
then I remember
what being human belies
violence ignorance and hypocrisy
deserve no compromise
so I have one last task
before I can take off my disguise
but Im not a monster
Ill give you time to say your goodbyes
then leave you all on your backs
looking up at the sky
while I **** yellow tears for humanity
into your wide dead eyes

i live in me head
coz i know all the neighbours
i havent seen the outside world for ages
sat on me **** writing pages and pages
of justifications that just sound outrageous
the real reason why is coz im ******* dangerous
cant wait to take task to our lords and ******* saviours
all the cheeky ******* trying to influence our behaviours
and the blind ignorant masses satisfied with their delusions of grandeur

youll see man
youll see
we only build bridges
we can burn
so we can retreat
never to return
once crossed
we crash headlong
shattered we spurn
its only in loss
the lesson is learned
therein lays the gain

the days are longer
the sun shines brighter
warming my heart
we could be in the arctic
in months of darkness
its spring wherever you are

paying pawns to play the kings game is for the poor
Im not playing it that way any more
my monetary weakness has me hamstrung for sure
but its not like I havent made stronger moves before
checkmate is an uncomfortable place to be
sitting waiting for their brave knights on contracts to come and get me
but as impossible as it may seem
I will extract myself from this trap they have me in
even if it kills me

when stoked
im fire
im burning entire
rake over my coals
make my flame reach higher
caresses like ice
succumbing to the pyre
steam rising
from colliding
elemental desire

when all you can do is cry
you have to laugh
it's a weird ******* world sometimes
when things start to look choreographed
serendipity causes synchronicity
forces thoughts off track
even the arch atheist will thank the lord
when coincidence hands him his life back

would today be today
if tomorrow never came
can things always stay the same
if nothing ever changes
got lost on the way
to where im going
from where i came
from the cradle to the grave
ive been walking in circles

the law is an asp
denying true will
there is only one path
thats yours to fulfil
be what you are
not what they tell
the only answer you owe
is to question your self
ethical quandry
is egoic suspense
wasting aeons of time
in this momentary existence
the daemon inside you
makes moral judgement
a surplus requirement
lest you hurt someone else

pseudo science
semi read
partly understood
constantly repeated
conspiracy theory
empiracally void
unconditional belief
totally paranoid

repetition is the mom of *******
replace a tongue with yours
you own the conversation
before they know
youll own their souls
their gold
their nation
theyll even praise you
for your every definition of dictation

youve become vindictive
in your hatred
remember the victor
is always tainted
by the victory

terrorism works
thats the ugly truth
so why are you on the streets
on your knees
asking for your next move
protest soothes your conscience
once its been approved
signed off, sanctioned, actioned
by the very people youre shouting to

i fear we are all born gods
for we have fallen far
our curse
our being here on earth
is a trial no mere mortal
can ever master
oh how mistress time
mocks our desires
as we try the futile
pitiful
to outlast her

they never came back
when i set them free
not the women
not the friends
not the family
ive never been wanted
never wanted to be
i had to lose all id found
to find myself wanting

this grey feeling
so monochromatically appealing
akin to staring at the ceiling
unaware of the storm that is passing overhead

im not strictly suicidal
but all i live for now
is to die well
to get to the end
friends and family beside me
exit stage left
in the right state of mind
finally

someone sells you a demand
so you supply it
they put the cart before the horse
you still buy it
theres this thing called critical thinking
you should try it
if theyre trying hard to make the sale
walk away
deny it

join the dots
paint the picture
take a look
at your depiction
what you saw
what you created
are different patterns
of the same creator
real and unreal
are both illusions
your minds eye
is the only one you see through

another loud american
best greatest orator
will replace him
as head of state
alma mater
trump university
nothing will change
except the tax breaks
and loose change rates
at either end of the sliding slippery scale

imagine a world were we admit our fallibility
where ego is baseless
and we base our happiness
on happiness
wouldnt that be something
wouldnt it be something at least

intelligence isnt the great enhancer
evolution will ensure it never rises again
its nothing less than clever cancer
just another link in a terminal chain
if any other life ever suffers this mutation
let us hope that some sign of us still remains
so they can see how to avoid mankinds imagination
that leads to death in so many intelligent ways

anti zion is not anti semite
anti israel is not anti jew
anti hypocrisy is my only viewpoint
anti you doing unto others as was done unto you
when your existence depended upon charity
when you were granted what your god could never gift you
when the door swung open from your hell to your holy land
you were blind to the fire
in the light of self righteousness it burnt into you

werz me cntroll wennaneedit
ad dis fukkn ting duhfeetd
annowiss gommee bakk on me neez
ferda saykova bigbaggagrreen
a carnt be fukkn arsd repeetn
dis same day aggen an aggen
av orreddee seen it laa
issdawonn dat never fukkn ennz

no ambition is no negative thing
I dont want to be what Ive been told I want to be
aiming for an ending seems so silly to me
when I look around and see a world so full of beginnings

let me tell you a secret
there are no secrets
only things you cannot know

look at what they gave us
killed themselves saving us
so we could live our lives our way
when they do the same
we castigate them
evil empire to this day
as branded by our insidious shared enemy
come the final conflagration
I'll trust the Rus more than the USA

enemies
we need more enemies
a friend in deed
is a friend you cant depend on
to fuel an economy

reiteration is the basis of everything
the most perfect creations replaced inevitably
as taste, styles and the people that make them cease to be
then they themselves remade to replace themselves equally
but better
allegedly

why
should my time in the sun
be cast in the shadow
of those
that would set themselves
above me?
when icarus falls
will i be expected
to reach out a samaritans hand
to help him up
from laying in the dust
of his own char
or will i pluck a burnt feather
for my new jaunty hat?