It’s when I wake that my life *****
Waking in a world without you there
So I close my eyes
And I tell myself lies to keep from going nuts
I can’t feel happy in my head
And just one thought is there
What if I let go ,
I’m standing on the edge .
And your not there to pull me back

I did the best I could
And all I wanted was your love

And in reply
Your words broke me
“Not good enough “

You said to me,
"Dont throw me away"
But
You never thought twice
About calling me trash.

This isn't living
This is you
Pointing a gun in my face
telling me that everything is ok,
You put the bullet in the gun
and
I pulled the trigger
That's the bullet
That
Took away my pain
Running from a blind a man
Lost in the known
I'm afraid to be found
If you can love me,
then you must not know me
I just wanted to dream,
so you poisoned me in my sleep

I was snorting the snow
I missed you being born
I was smoking the rock
And now your twelve
I slammed last night
Your moving out
I crashed
You married had kids
I woke up foggy
Where are you
I was supposed to be there
I want to tell you how proud I am
I wanted my fix more
Sad alone cold
Today was when I realized
It was to late

i write this for all those who have lost themselves in the pursuit of making someone else happy.  WHY, why do you lose yourselves? Was it worth it? Did you find what you hoped to find?  Or in the end is he happy and you, your alone at 2 AM in the morning, trying to find something, someone to bring you some semblance of love and happiness.

You saw me smile
I hid my pain
You heard me laugh
The tears you never saw
You held me tight
You never knew i wanted to run
You watched me sleep
You never saw the nightmares
You heard me sing
The anger you never felt
You thought i was happy
How wrong you were
You never knew

Does it ever end
Don't you ever get tired
Of the Billshit that is

The flies that circle
the stench that reeks

It suits you I guess
This lifestyle of yours

You must be happy this way
A life in that filth

One day you'll see
All the things you lost

Maybe then you'll see
You chose the ******* over me