Don't take it personally, my love,
But I want him to break your heart.
I want you to feel pain.
I want you to feel what I felt when you said you missed him.
I want you to feel lost.
I want you to feel brokenhearted.
I want you to feel clueless.
Because all you gave me were mixed messages of love, desire, and admiration.
Now I won't lie to you or myself.
I still have this unconditional love for you.
It's foundation blossoms from the pit of my stomach.
But I hate you so much.
And it kills me to see you hurting
Because I know you hurt enough already
And I wish I could take away all that hurts you.
I'm no superhero though, but I'm certainly not a villain either.
I'm just a bystander caught in the crossfire.
I wish you could stand in my shoes, at least once.
And be able to understand the rush of emotions that flows through my head whenever you fall into my line of vision.
The only way that will ever happen is if you hurt.
Hurt as passionately as I hurt for you.
I hate you almost as strongly as I hold love for you.
But please, don't take it personally.

You kissed me.
And it led to my whole world spiraling out of control.
My faith was restored, I vowed I would return the favor, and I found myself falling even more irreversibly in love with you.
It's like when you realize that those implausible but evidently hopeful wishes at exactly 11:11 p.m. really do work.
But I think way too much for my own good.
I think about things too in depth and then I just break my own heart.
Make bizarre and ignorant conclusions,
Like you're just playing around with me.
You don't mean it when you say you love me.
Or maybe I'm the one interpreting all those signals in all the wrong ways possible.
But how else would a fool in love interpret a kiss from the one they hold so close to their heart?
Maybe I just understand what it is my heart wants me to.
And I guess that's why I hate suffering through relapses such as this one.
Because I love too hard and too much, and I always end up hurting in the end.

Just for one moment, I wish you could see what it's like to love someone like you, because you rule
Everything around me.
And I'm sure that then you would understand how speechless I get when it comes to describing something I don't have a full understanding of.
Nothing I ever say will help me overcome this obstacle as long as my love for you perpetuates, and as far as I'm concerned my love is
Everlasting.
Two too many times, you've broken my heart, and it's a shame because you didn't even realize it. I know you didn't mean it, and it wasn't even your fault, but I swear that you're so provocative and
Tantalizing without trying. And I guess that's what makes you so special, so different from the rest. That is why I long to be
E**mancipated from this restriction of love.
You shall forever be carved into my memory,
And forever carved into all that I do.
Because not a moment goes by that you are not intruding in my most sacred and and inner thoughts.

Ever get that feeling where there's so much to say
But then you pick up your pen and bring out your notebook
And you just sit there, and fail to write what it is you even wanted to say?
That's how I feel whenever I write about you
And it's so discouraging because it seems that there is so much flowing through my mind whenever I fail to keep my thoughts anywhere else but you.
It's because she is everything
All that goes on in my head before writing even one line is simply just you
Those booming voices, blissful delusions, ignorant realizations, unwelcome ****** recollections of long-ago, humorous admiration,
It's because she is everything
Yes, you are everything.
Everything I think about, everything I dream about, everything I talk about, everything I write about, everything
And I really don't think that that's fair, my love.
That is why I strive to be your everything.
Yes, I want to be the one that creates those booming voices in your head
I want to be the one that makes you have those blissful delusions
I want to be the one that initiates you to make those ignorant realizations
I want to be the one that brings those unwelcome ****** recollections of long-ago
to you
And I can go on and on about everything that just the thought of you does to me
But I dare not waste your time any longer
Because the way I feel could be sufficiently expressed in any moment-no matter if I'm miserable, infuriated, ecstatic, or anything- by just two words.
You're everything
And I bet that that's the reason why at times it seems there's so much to say, when in reality there really isn't a need for it.