the world was just too overgrown when humanity found it

every detail of nature was inconvenient
every animal was enslaved
every continent needed a dominant empire

humans needed their mechanical Eden to skim by heaven
to prove we are wingless angels
and make their chemically induced clouds cry acid tears

shots fire at our brothers
trying to prove our dominant animal coats
and war paths are proven less prehistoric
with manufactured metal bullets

history was being made before the
concept of language was conceived
but language is wasting away
back into nonsense
because why express yourself with knowledge
when it is constantly accessible

social snakes slither around honesty
while the truthful hide their ankles with heavy wool socks
and after the constant strikes
the poison sinks in
and the relevancy to being honest is lost

numbers for the pure of heart and free spirited dwindle

and i am lucky enough to find the few left
holding the heavy burden of the question

Why?

What do i do when all of my family dies?

Will i ever have a calling?

Will time try to cheat me?

Can i actually feel as much as her?

Did my eyes linger too long?

Will my writing always be subjective and unfeeling?

How far is too far?

Am i actually crazy?

If i started running now, how far could i make it?

Does he still think about her silk skin?

What do i do when i reach the next dead end?

What would have happened if she jumped?

Will i find satisfaction on this dumb grey space rock?

Am i truly left here to drown in my own thoughts?

Does she know i would never dismiss her?

Will anyone miss me after all of this ends?

Will i ever stop thinking of myself long enough to make an impact on someone else?

How bad does heartbreak hurt

and will i be lucky enough to skip it?

How did he escape untouched?

Will i ever fall asleep?

a hollowed attempt at understanding
crowned with a rosary
and clothed in ignorance

hiding in the word of God
weeping for Eve
triumphant with David
she alludes herself to be living

if we all made her decisions
no one would be living
and we would find ourselves
forgetting about the sky

how apocalyptic to forget about the sky

we do learn
at our own expense
no room for knowledge
when we're being suppressed

no learning in solitude
other than limitation
only parents known
and there is only imitation

God can't be found with holy beads
and gold crested frames

and if God knows our names

he should know our struggle
with evil and good
counting the times
before sin we stood

you are mad at your mom
you are mad at God
you are mad at manners
you are mad at your ignorance

you found your Faust thoughts
hiding in the attic
and evil seems reasonable
because goodness pushed your parents
off the edge of disaster

open their minds with knowledge

and choose the balance

because no extreme is ever going to be worth it

Why do we cage birds
If their purpose is flight?

Its kind of fun to know
I am teetering on the edge of insanity

time has always tried to suffocate me

each year of school
joined by my sinking heart
and pounding head
and realization my crayons
have to get more mature

i cried everyday of the first grade
sobbing to my mom
in my princess nightgown
at 3 am

"Why do i have to grow up?"

i miss recess and arts and crafts
scraping my knees and crying
and having someone there to hold me
until the pain subsides

i miss saying nonsense
and feeling imagination
without the following fear of criticism

i miss crushes and cartwheels
and being excited by the possibilities
of the world and its inhabitants

i spent most of my childhood
counting the time i had left
to be a kid

i spend teenage years
marching around
fearing my inevitable "career"