climbing drown the rusty fire escape
from your mind into your heart

i see the chords
for a song
on the slide guitar

and crumpled papers
of all of the words you had
meant to deliver to me

you threw them away
because they had expired

i see the fibrous edges
of your hollow insides
fraying
from the words
your saintly mother
punishes you with

because

to improve ones self is to improve for God

but your heart
sprouted with new growth
on that warm spring day

and as we sat behind the wall
overlooking our hometown

we rolled in shells and twigs and grass
and acted like dogs

and in the pale yellow sunlight

i finally saw your heart smile

i see her disregard
the most genuine embrace i could muster
she cries and heaves
and whispers secrets to herself
as if i wouldn't listen

but where was the much needed moonlight

she writes down my advice
like they are her last words
like they could travel back in time
helping her learn life lessons
before it was too late

i hate hearing myself talk and not being heard

i smell her broken mindset
and unwillingness to repair it
i know she is addicted to the pain
through her
physical cuts
and unwillingness to let go emotionally

i thank myself
for holding on to my brown paper package full of hope
because her care package was ripped and spilled
along with her blood
the first time she decided to
never let go of the memory of him

he will be her grudge forever

i see the other two
caring for the broken one
who only wants to break
the word "them"

i admire their willingness
to give up a relationship
to drown in her pledge
to numb herself or get what she wants

and when they left
and talked in secret
about a fantasy first kiss

i talked her off the ledge
and into her warm bed

sure we were all intoxicated
but every raw emotion was on display that night

i am the one who knows that
this situation happened because
teenage love is ****** up

i am the only one who remembers that night as a whole

i am the keeper of these emotions and events

i am the witness of the truth

lace eyes
vintage and timeless
stream wild ideas across their filmy surface
beyond then and beyond now

how can one body hold so much innocence
and so much knowledge
like they go hand in hand

pale with a blue cast
she has never once looked cold
her voice grips on to the lingering notes
played by a blues guitarist
and the soft howl of a folk song

she never appears with a message
or reason

she is simply there to make me think

she is a celestial friend

and although it's just a dream

i know she loves me

We search for change

But we hate that the conditions of this search aren't constant

For all of the things I want and wish you loved more often

your rapid thinking
your turning night into day
and your laugh that floats in amusement

your calming soul
and your dimple that shows
when you indulge in a genuine smile

your stomach
your selfless nature
and your strong grip on any remaining innocence

your honesty
and movement
and self control
although seemingly unhelpful
they make you a strong woman
something our society needs

your ability to choose
your own thoughts and choices
to disregard trends
and clothe yourself in a pity-less lifestyle

you are what i strive to be and what i am lucky enough to have today

My loss of balance
I blame on evolution

I look around and see smoke
in the air from
pollution
and
my best friend's cigarette

I see different eyes
how they evolved into unique shapes
and how both people
still need to console themselves
with their man made vices

when i'm sober
I can only think of
the strong imprint
of the smell of whiskey
and the plans for its return

so I go find my old hide away
from the days sobriety didn't concern me
and see it surrounded by thorns
and feel it grown into the hillside

As I scrape my ankles
and sacrifice myself to these tiny threats
I wonder if this old clubhouse
represents what happened to me

Am I cruel for the same reason the forest grows thorns?

Though beautiful on the inside, we both want to keep the world out.

Darling catch me when i fall
I only see you when i blink
And hear you when i sing
And feel you in the blanketed bed i call home

Join me
I won't mind