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712 · Jan 2022
Derealization
Jordyn LaRaye Jan 2022
This is not home
Not these limbs, not this head
Drifter come and gone
Tabernacle bed  
Ghosting the body
Until this wandering skin shed
478 · Mar 2022
Seasons Greeting
Jordyn LaRaye Mar 2022
Missing you is like a house
With Christmas lights
Strung about
In March.
461 · May 2022
When
Jordyn LaRaye May 2022
And there is no now.
No there is no then.
It is all out of reach,
out of touch,
out of when.
360 · Mar 2021
2017
Jordyn LaRaye Mar 2021
Reflections are only imperfect replicas
Copying what they cannot fully imitate.
Mirrors, we walk around—
Pretending to represent that which we behold.
313 · Dec 2019
Love Bugs
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
Love is not for birds.
Its for beetles,
slowly slaving over
pushing their piles of ****
backwards up a hill in unison.
306 · Jan 2022
The said unsaid
Jordyn LaRaye Jan 2022
You stole my poetry.
Not the stuff I wrote, but the stuff stewing in my head.
The things left unsaid, But were said.
spilled out like tippy cup Sunny D—
orange, fragrant stain—
Memorial to a poem that will never be.
Sticky and splattered on the table.
A mess, an overflow of the brain.
283 · Mar 2022
Feral
Jordyn LaRaye Mar 2022
I want my toes
to be naked and unashamed—
Covered in sand, and grass,
and salt water.
Feral, like my soul.
Basking in the sun, splayed—
The rays my fodder.
264 · Dec 2019
Inherited
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
We are all babies born
of an addict mother, detoxing
from a drug we never took.
Contrary to the inquiries that I've received... this is a metaphor.
260 · Dec 2019
Jaywalker
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
Little silver button,
Placebo for impatience
In the cross walk waiting room,
You are every negative coping mechanism
For every season that can’t go fast enough.
I’ll jaywalk this time.
221 · Nov 2019
other side
Jordyn LaRaye Nov 2019
I am a vine by a window,
Constantly reaching and thirsting for the sun
and forever stuck on the other side.
215 · Dec 2019
Ice 9
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
I was a cigarette,
Nicotine on your lips.
And you,
You were ice 9 on mine.
215 · Dec 2019
3 mm
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
Unplanned brainchild,
I did not think you into being.
You created yourself-
a zygote, immaculately conceived
by an unholy being,
multiplying yourself--
mitosis of my nightmares.
An ode to a tumor in my brain.
205 · Mar 2022
Matador
Jordyn LaRaye Mar 2022
The focus and stamina it requires
To wrangle my thoughts
To corral them into the pen
I am the matador of my mind.
Or maybe the rodeo clown.
202 · Feb 2022
Myth
Jordyn LaRaye Feb 2022
Atlas to your expectations
Icarus to Grace
Flown too close, yet fell on your face.
Crack it open.
Fear proceeds,
The seed to the lies
That keep you from me.
Eye contact with the mirror,
Turned to stone.
Frozen by the longing
to be wanted and known
187 · Jan 2022
Notifications
Jordyn LaRaye Jan 2022
My phone kept telling me to drive to your house.
It’d say:
“10 minutes drive to the market, if you leave now,”
Thinking the market is where I went.
Though all those evenings were spent
At your place.

It kept suggesting I text you
When I’d send things to my friends.
Each time I’d worry I accidentally did,
and beg it to end.

And for the first time today, it finally stopped.
Just in time for you to contact me again.
180 · Dec 2020
Silent
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2020
It amazes me
That some people do not think in words.
They have no inner monologue
No narrator of their mistakes.
No nagger, no inner critic.
No, their minds are quiet—
Free from the yelling within.
silent
178 · Jan 2022
Galilee
Jordyn LaRaye Jan 2022
My soul is a raging sea.
Walk on it.
Speak, “peace, be still,” to me.
Calm the waters, and on the shore
Make Your home in Galilee.
A moment I still think about often from Capernaum.
172 · Sep 2020
Vixere
Jordyn LaRaye Sep 2020
They have lived,
Their humors cry out
From surface soil:
Bursting bitter springs.
buried groundwater—
Hidden in stratigraphy of
Victorious narratives.
Listen to their blood sing
of humanity unseen.
171 · Dec 2019
Something like home
Jordyn LaRaye Dec 2019
You felt like home,
like comfort, familiar like
grandfather's old flannel button ups,
wafting the subtle, distant scent
of 20-year-old cigarette smoke--
undeterred by the washing machine.

You felt like home.
Like me, the little girl,
promising to quit my addiction to burritos,
so he would promise to quit smoking.

Hugging you was like
I could almost ignore it.
Like if I held tight enough
the nearing scent of smoke would
fade.
Or it would have no space to sneak between.

Home, like the smell of a lie.
You were the home I ran away from
years ago,
yet somehow find myself running back to.
164 · Mar 2022
Triathlete
Jordyn LaRaye Mar 2022
Getting out of bed is my marathon
Shall I put a sticker on my car?
26.2 steps.
My body is the weight of iron.
Combined with brushing
My hair and teeth
I am a triathlete.
159 · Feb 11
Flood
Jordyn LaRaye Feb 11
antediluvian days
then you flooded me with rage
The garden close
But guarded by a sword

You carved out canyons
In less that 40 days
And left the raven
With nowhere to land

Why didn’t you just burry my bones
instead of giving me hope
On this ****-filled boat
Only to leave me emerging
To an entirely new universe
Alone
153 · Nov 2019
Mother Earth
Jordyn LaRaye Nov 2019
Birth and Swallow the fruit of your *****--
with womb and bowels both full of Death
destined to bare that without breath,
Earth, Mother of lifeless creation.

Breathless life fills the canyons and peaks.
Worshiped for providing a lie,
Mother Earth we hear your actions speak,
and by them we live to die.

Strive and pant.
Consume and devour.
This is the curse:
death, work, and lifeless birth.
149 · Jan 9
Clean
Polite pollution
architect of fantasy.
No foundation but dug deep
Poured in
Soak and steep
flee.

B.P.
Pay me your reparations,
So I can get myself clean.
The oil clings
In iridescent rings
On everything.

And I just want my music,
And my couch,
And my favorite things
Without the sting.
132 · Feb 1
Cage
And it turns out
Everyone’s heart
is stuck in a cage
127 · Nov 2019
Salt
Jordyn LaRaye Nov 2019
My lungs taste of salt-
the vapor of my dedication
paying homage with the bathroom mirror--
the horror you hear.

Cold, crystallizing salt.
So dense I float
in the pools of desperation.
Heavy breaths carrying words of consolation.
Pillars echoing back,
frozen at the sight.

Salt, yes, salt.
preserving hope
like stalagmites in the caves
of hollow hearkening lungs:
"Watch Gomorrah disappear."
122 · Jan 2022
He can’t start a fire
Jordyn LaRaye Jan 2022
You cant start a fire?
This was a mistake—
Our steak will be rare.
I rarely light but a candle
Let alone desire.
Poor match.
Give me the match,
And unlatch from your mother.

I’ll keep us fed and warm.
shadow sewn to your feet.
Maintaining deceit—
Don’t look so forlorn.
Take your seat…
just another one to stash in your hoard.
An ode to Yorkshire.
118 · May 2022
Pieces
Jordyn LaRaye May 2022
I’m accustomed to giving all of me
And leaving none for myself.

When I offer you this last slice,
Know it is an offer
I hope you politely refuse
And suggest we share.

— The End —