at night
you seem to come
to me
through the warmth
& the quiet dark
between
the narrow slit
of the moon
& the cold champagne
that rests glassed within my
fingertips

I've seen you too often
in the day
& there aren't many words
as we burn
underneath our angry
sun

you look your most
handsome
when you dress in
black
& I would never dare
turn my back
upon you




even if I promised
my own heart



that
you weren't worth the
wait

he called her his
constellation
& set her up in
the sky
with care and precision

she fell anyway
in all those little bits
& pieces of stars
but it was far more
magnificent
than anyone could have
hoped for
in her demise

a piece of her landed
in my backyard
& when she cooled off
I picked her up

she was so lonely
& had been that way
for a time

"don't cry,"
I said with conviction.
"I can keep you
forever
if you'd like."

a smile crept upon
her lips
like sullied
enchantment

"oh honey,
I've seen forever

it is endless
endless
& annoying as
hell."

city in ruins
acid green night sky
flames in skyscraper windows
the flakes of ashes
filtering the staunch air
if you breathe in you can
taste the souls of the dearly
& painfully departed

I roamed the underground
silent subway system
in search of an easy ****
long black coat trailing my
fast-paced footfalls

dried blood smeared on a
restroom door
the smell no longer made
me sick
I throw it open
& step inside
the room reeked of
sweat and vile
death
the hair rose on my skin
as I faced the mirror
to greet my weary, shadowy-eyed
reflection

it was then that I saw the
pair of yellow eyes
watching me
& before either of us
could blink
I hurled my dagger at
the corner ceiling above the
empty stalls
spearing the small winged
demon
it fell to the floor in a heap
of rotting dust

there was no time for me
to react
when a figure burst through
the doorway
a dark-skinned girl with
long braids
who didn't catch my gaze
as she slammed her
purse on the filthy counter top
& began to apply her
makeup

"What are you doing here?"
I asked the young woman
stunned at her nonchalance
she never once stopped
moving the pink brush against
her skin

"Gotta go to work,"
she said briskly
as if the whole doomsday planet
was a waste of her
time

I had forgotten there were still
people living in
hell
who bothered to look
pretty



I said no more
& went on my
way

empty water bottles everywhere
cheerios on the floor
I can never keep track of myself
or the food I bring out of the kitchen
I'm worse than a bachelor
& my Benadryl is almost gone

I need it to sleep
sleep and to dream
so maybe my nothing
will be something
that it seems

I cannot stop obsessing over
how lonely I feel
in my new married life
I feel better talking to people
I barely know
than I do my own husband
they say the first year
is the hardest

but I think I've just always felt
this way
when your heart clings to something
you can't have
the feeling never quite frays
never quite
erodes in its natural form

I find myself daydreaming about
things that don't happen
true love that doesn't come true
romance is not abundant in these parts
chivalry is carved on a tombstone
a few blocks from my
apartment
& I'm lucky to get a kiss on
the cheek whenever
I walk by



I want to believe that
there is some man out there
who would build me a bouquet of
wildflowers
& play me some classic rock
ballad about eternity
maybe he lives
in this house




maybe he lives
at all

my mother insists
that I'm the reincarnation
of her mother
Marilyn
who passed away
sometime in the
70s

she sounds incredible in
stories
so its hard for me to
believe
yet we both have opened
our hearts to
everyone
& we feel in all the best and
worst dreams

she worried herself to
death, I think
but the woman was
crazy
with a heart of
gold
& had love so passionate and
powerful
the gods themselves
would tremble
in its wake



I'd like to think I'm going
to find peace
with my bed of
insecurities


I've the body of a
Taurus
& like Marilyn I've
the spirit of a
Pisces


I'd like to think that
"star-crossed"
is a real
thing



& when you see those
darkening
clouds



that you will
think of
me

he said he writes
like Bukowski





he doesn't even *drink

to me
the most attractive
quality one can possibly
possess
is a brilliant
witty
sincere
& even mildly
childish
sense of humor


the Sad Keanu meme will
never not be hilarious

on my better days I am
a gypsy songbird
addicted to
dying my hair unnatural
colors
wearing too much
jewelry
& swaying my hips to the
Counting Crows or
Queens of the Stone Age

on my scarier days I am
a modified hermit
addicted to
hard liquor and coffee
daydreaming about the things that
will never be mine
& blaring sad piano ballads
about rotten, undignified, but
true, true love

on my normal days
I am a mommy
my son will be a year old on
Sunday
& he is my entire soul
I am addicted to
his dimples
his laughter
& watching him sleep

if anyone were to
ever tell a tale of the
dear Latham girl, they would
have to say
"Well, didn't you know?
Davy Martin
saved his mama's life."

the morning wake-up call
from a horrifying dream sequence
the kind where you slowly sit up in silence
& stare at the wall
too shocked to make a sound

the nightmare was in itself normal
everyone was kind to me
but it felt untrue
they all had daggers hidden
deep in their palms
ready to strike at my slightest
faltering

I made my coffee and dove
into the online world
where he found me as a green dot
on the screen
sought me out and mentioned
that fate had once again not been
our mutual friend
& he had walked in my mother's
door just as I had left
the other day

the tears welled up
casting colorlessly behind my hair
I knew it too
I saw his car hiding in the back
but I kept on driving
I had to go




I had to go





now my hands are shaking
another outcome of
too much java
& not enough sustenance
he kept asking what was wrong
what was wrong
its all wrong, honey
& I'm two short tiptoes from
driving into
an open field
clutching unharvested crops
& screaming until my
lungs give
out




I should have stayed

grit your teeth
& tie your garters
girls
we got him right where
we want him

just don't drink his
blood
don't laugh at his
jokes
& for God's sake

never catch him smiling

the blue-eyed babes all call
that man the devil
& he will drag us all straight
to Hell if we can't keep
our cool

keep lighting his
cigarettes

keep tasting his
bourbon tongue

your day will come
& your glorious goddess wings
will strip him down
to all the breath
he ever stole
from you

& you'll never let your
musician of choice
into your bed
again











for another week
or two

suffice it to say
I feel unseasonably
confined

tomorrow the sun
will rise
& the ships will
dance on the
ever-shifting horizon

but I will not see them

you will wake in
your world
& not have a single thought
of me

I am too far from the sea

& I wonder if it
bothers him
too
that I might one day
set sail on the wheels of
my '97 Ford Taurus
& never return

anchored upon land
is what I am



but the horizon
draws near




as you sleep in your world
& wake in my harbor




won't you please
think of me?

let us sink into the
gleam
of the holy unknown shaking
deliverance
that is a cold hard kiss
to the neck

a shivering dream


what fervor!
she casts her breath out
in a panicked
fever


pure ecstasy
with a bold-pressed silent stare
that echoes




"more."

my 30 gb iPod

the garter from my senior prom

a tiny golden cross that had
faith & hope
inscribed into it

the base to my son's car seat

& his monkey mirror

my husband's suit jacket

& seven years of my
life written into
various paper journals
with colored covers



these were all stolen in the
first car I ever owned

her name was Lydia
"She was the most glorious creature
under the sun."

that comes from a
Groucho Marx song if
you didn't know

my Papa used to sing it to
me all the time

anywho

she was a 2000 Dodge Neon
painted black

two stickers on the back
"COEXIST"
and
"SUPPORT THE ARTS
KISS A MUSICIAN"

I got her my first year
of college from
a man who's like a father
to me

we've been through many a
busted radiator hose
& flat tire

last summer my husband was on his way
to work when Lydia gave out on him
so he left her at the side of K-15 and MacArthur
in Wichita
& told the cops not to tow her away
'cause he'd be back for her

when he returned after his shift
she was gone
nowhere to be found
a vanishing act of pure mental hell
& unanswered questions
to this day



I miss her terribly.

you swallow
sunlight
& no matter how low
your expression
rests
I will always see you
shining
climbing the highest
pines
in our pitch black
hell forest
trying to find me in
the slip from
deep within your chest
& its fierce desire
for youth

I can hear it in
the way you
laugh
when we're alone

I can hear it in
my shallow breath
& the taste
of your cologne

the way you move
your hands
is next to godliness



& I would sell
my soul
sweet dear


to forever be their
witness

the very lack of
self-discipline
that I seem to possess
just so happens to be the most
evil
of my demons
I don't think I made
a single ******
important phone call in
a week or five
& they all keep piling up
on my do-not-wish
list
I'm giving up my
voice
for Lent this year
& I ain't the slightest bit
religious
but I still pray for
my baby
& he can still outshine
the happiest sun
with his tiny teeth and
stubborn wit
may the little man
keep on
keepin' on
for the rest of eternity
while his mama
practices jumping back
in time
to catch her breath
& remember what it was like
to be the sun
and
never even
notice.

she took the gun
loaded with benadryl
pulled the trigger
& prayed she could
sleep a ******* fantastic
lovely
dreamless
night

she'll pray for
the opposite
before she closes
her eyes

naturally

I nearly wrote in the year
as "2010"
where is my mind
once again?


tangled up in bed sheets
& the mess of his
hair
his scarf smells like an
old house
& cold mountain air


he arrived with
bare feet
a pharmacy in his
backpack


I kissed his clammy
forehead
& traced my fingers
down his
back

there are completely irrelevant
things in our lives
that we will remember until
the day we meet our
makers

her golden hair
in the South Carolina sunlight
the way that she smiled
that no still photograph could
ever replicate

we got married in a fever
it was a young and
wild summer
& I couldn't wait
to meet her
we were unlawfully
wedded
in the years
of our youth
& 'til death do us
part
is our god-given
truth

though miles apart
I could never imagine
being too far
from my dearest friend

the islands that call
bring us both
through our every
fall



for we know we'll reach the sea
in the very end

she wrote you down
a little note
& tied it to a little boat
sent it out to sea

the wind it
craves
the moon it
slaves
over the taste of
salt
in the deep



the magic lies
like the
sand in her
hair


but she can never
quite get it out
of her head






you were always so inviting

someday I swear to
swim in a cranberry bog






completely naked

I will drink a man
under the table







at an Irish pub

& I will prove that you
really do







**love me too

I want to taste
patience
from the palm of
your hand
& I would wrap
determination
around my finger to
remind me that
wherever the grass is
growing
won't always be
greener

& when you lock
your lips with
mine

I get this *****
urge to become
cleaner

I sat back in the
chair
within the midst
of the thick Floridian
atmosphere
that clung to my
skin
& stole my breath
away

the woman at the
spa
cleverly eviscerated
my tension
I was told to breathe
& close my eyes
as she put the tiny cool
cloth pieces over
them

"think of the
beach
wind through your
hair
feet against the warm
sand...

...now think of who
you're with

husband, friend, family..."

& for a while I was
there
completely alone on
Cocoa Beach
staring at the vast ocean
someone walks up
behind me
but it isn't anyone she
said it would be

it was you

& the ****** clever woman
gave us one minute alone
on that sandy shore
while the sun was setting
I tried to think of
things for us to talk about
but nothing came to
imagination

we stood there hand
in hand
& watched the deep
dark horizon


I can't remember the last time
I had felt so
at peace




I presume it was the best
minute
I never truly
spent

she’ll conserve your leverage
if you invade her
interest

you aren’t bargaining
for devotion
& she isn’t waiting for moths
to eat away at her coat

shouldn't you have
realized
that we’re in a ******
rivalry
this time around
where beautiful grapes
are never ripe
& she isn't infinite
enough for your
tongue
& sense of divine
chivalry?

compassionate knight,
haven’t you known
yourself
to stumble so often
until now
when she has finally freed
you of your
combat burns
& cherished wounds?

call her intuitive, but
she caught you
long ago
through a forest clearing
with a box of
cigars
& too many dreams


you told yourselves you
were too much
alike

I am in love with
Charisma
& the way it seeps
Into my skin
Branching into so much
More
Than heartfelt
Bliss
Echoing through alleys
& city streets
& colliding against
Patchwork fences
We know what we're
Made of
& although it
Dares you
You still inhale
& shake hands with
Your gorgeous
Fate
"Its all up
There
& its all you
Dream of."
Then don't let me
Dream, 'cause
By God
I'll never stop
& we'll keep spinning
Until I can
No longer make
Sense
Of my fingertips
& we sleep all of our
Morning graces
Far, far
Away.

take a walk in her shoes


impromptu parties
& people you know that
just love you
'cause you're one of the few
that remember how to

a very close game of
beer pong
birthday boy mixing all
the liquor in the
nearly empty bottle of
Jager
but ****, was it
dangerously delicious

you fall in love with anyone
who gives you the
least bit of
attention and you feel
like a siren
trying to draw in
all the men
so very lost at
sea
if only for a friendly
chat

then its closing time
for your schedule
& the next day you enter
into the world of all you call
home sweet home
back at your mother's
all the people you ever loved
minus one
have come to grace you with
a good old-fashioned
get together

the girl who had your back
since grade school
gives you the great gift
of fresh ink on your shoulder
she worried about ******* it up
you worry about how much
that needle's gonna sting
but it doesn't

the men gather upstairs
& we sing classic songs
of drugs
& love and grunge
you almost made the boy
cry with your voice



these days are too few and far
between

come by again sometime
we miss you where you are
& you'll always miss feeling so
alive

o' come and quell
the quiet storm
the aching in my veins

we're nothing short of
astronomy in this stellar space
& the more you give in
the sweeter you taste

blueberry smoothie
my bare legs soaking sunlight
& I wish for the power
of invisibility and the tender art of
seduction

you creep up on me
like midnight mist
& the confidence you give
echoes in the distance




I only run in fright
I only run in the night

I can never really sleep
so I guess I never
will
I'd give you a bit
of my heart
but you'd probably
take your fill
& that's far more than I
can currently
bear


once upon a
time
I thought I could
share



now I'm not quite sure
where
I put the ******
beating
thing


they all stand
before me
with pointed fingers
& furrowed
brows



how dare you allow yourself
to be beaten down
& change your
mind?


how dare you shut out
the spirits
& drink the cold
blushed
wine?



the earth is no longer
kind



& it eats up my vision
as I begin to
unwind

11.16.07
friday
8:22 am

the invitation she feared came
in the mail yesterday
she knows now
he only sent it to try
& change her
mind

You are cordially invited to attend
the marriage of--

but she'll never tell him

"Its there if you change your mind."

she didn't bother
'cause around 6:30
that slip of paper
was on fire, dwindling to
ashes
on her balcony
carefully perched upon
her favorite bottle of wine

she'll send the RSVP back with
"will not attend"

I shall forever fear the
fiends
that would dare to tear
apart your
ribcage
if you failed to lend them
their desires
for I've a heart that
can ache for
miles

as it often has for you

et tu,
wild blue yonder?
I've not been
fonder
of another

you sink into me
as thunder


an echo


& a quake

I'd like to be indefinite


a bird that sails
on its own
wings


I'd like to fall asleep
& never wake
again


it creates the sort of
illusion
that I may cradle
myself
into the arms of
eternity
& never consider the
consequence


it creates the illusion that
I might truly be
blessed


& to hell with all of
the other
mess




I'd like to think you could
see me



fly





& lament that you
never really
tried

its healthy to remember
how well these fires
burn

to get right underneath
your clever skin
will take more determination
than anyone could ever
create
on trembling nerves
& a lack of hope
for your confusing seduction

its time for another party
as well as a change of
scenery
& scent

drive me to the
darkest desert
& I'll drink to our
getaway
with the top down
& my feet
as naked as your
neck against my
liquored lips

I can't afford
fear
all I have left are
pennies
salvaged only for your
thoughts
& the sweet, sweet
laughter
dancing like a broken
record
that I cannot find the
energy to turn off

I see you in my
sleep
& the mornings after
are so unbearable

I'm terrified you
might
feel the same

the film reel eases into
the crease of her
elbow
weaving effortlessly into
motion

she could no longer keep
a weather eye
on the silver screen
she kept her back to the
projector
& kept her hands
clean

call her careless
call her blue
but she didn't dare place
two cents
toward what she already
knew

at times she felt her
life might be playing in
reverse

the colorful ending as
the opening
& the conflict as the
curse

as the orchestra begins
to swell
she'll breathe in
& escape



they'll wonder why
she never chose
to keep her heart on
tape

you have this subtle curl of hair
just behind your ear
& I always see it when you're
driving
'cause I can't ever look right at
you
your gaze is pure heat
& I may begin to
evaporate
given enough
time

your pedestal
is made out of innocence
as well
& I cannot help but wonder
if we were always meant
for a lost boys
sort of life
never truly growing
old

we could paint our own
dinners
we could stop cashing in on
the cold

I could age gracefully as long
as I live by the
water

where the sun is always
warm
& my skin is made of
gold

I am no longer captivated
by this element
of surprise
I foresaw it within your
sea storm eyes
the crystal clarity only
assisted
but don't you dare get
it twisted

my veins course with
resistance
in this the game where
the rule book is
laden
with blank pages
love, I swore we left
our cages
& traded them for
passion
but no one taught you
how to ration


& I'll still melt within
your smile
if you'll still mold within
my wild

I stole a sliver of
your breath
& tucked it underneath
my pillow
for safe-keeping

you know, sometimes I think
I'd like to watch you
as you're sleeping

so I could acquaint myself with
the arch of your
brow

& know there are times
when you're as
scared
as me now


my dream was that with
each kiss
you transform -
cold and unforgiving


thus my lips brushed upon
your frozen hand

to assure myself you were
still living

Proverbs 31:6. "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts."


I met you half dead in the desert ....
A drop of blood down the side of your head
Red lips and
dark haired killer
(whispered)
"Agua?" through the heat
Glimmering pistol handles
My canteen with a cross
Fresh filled at river
Cool and sweet

the last thing I remembered
was the taste of cherry
*****
& his daring death kiss
this ******* headache
kills
& I'll speak my own
broken spanish
to save the only life
I got left

Dust deals heat to the back of my throat
Sweat is thick on my forehead
You take the silver flask
As the hem of your dress lifts just enough
She was the devil
Like a lone roaming coyote looking for a meal
The silent circling vulture
The rattlesnake bite
The scorpion sting
She drinks as if she has been lost
A drop of sweat
Rolls down the back of my neck

I was terrified to say more
as if he already knew
I was lying somehow, some way
his eyes were that of a
cautious man
eyes you always trusted
even if they didn't
trust you
I could tell I was bleeding now
dizzy desert
sand on my tongue
sand in my head
& all these cautious eyes
around me

She seemed to sway
Like a **** in the wind
She was gonna need bandages
For the cut on her head
I had half a bottle of liquor
In the sadlebags
She's dressed in dust
Wiping her lips with her hand
Cherry lipped
Tense as a jackrabbit
Ready to run


Its funny how you can
shoot a man in the
knee
& he'll tell you all
his secrets
but those ****** eyes
were leaving me wildly merciful
& in a blur of blood and sweat and dirt
I gave him the gun tied to my thigh
& took the shirt tied to his waist
it was my new wig
or my new pillow in my desert bed
god, let me sleep forever
with this stranger who has my gun
how can you tell if you're in shock?
will the sky ring with magenta
in the prelude to my death
or will it be quiet as this strange, strange
stranger?

Her gun always seemed to get me into trouble

Since I have taken it by the handle

There's been a strange wind on the east

Nights I try to sleep

It calls up from the holster

Speaking in tongues of dead men

Souls I had to deliver


Nothing can compare though
To the nightmares of you
In which We stole away in wagons
Flaming arrow full
I saw her eyes
In my mind
Burnt
Like a fever dream
Full of liquor bottles
Full of bullets
Full of her thighs
I could not tear my eyes away
No matter how I tried
You pulled me deep
Into velvet seas
Of blue
and Green
The taste of gin
The taste of whiskey
Beautiful and sweet

she single-handedly manufactured
her own hell
& she'd be ******* astounded
if she ever made it
out

though she could always
keep the instant
replay

mausoleum steps in
mid-evening
city lights cast upon the
blanket of blackened
trees

sips of warm heavy
wine
& cigarettes lit fifty
times
as the wind sang so
recklessly over the cemetery
hillside
but they sang too
& for a brief moment the
whole wide angry
*******
world



had vanished



speak of past lives
superpowers
& trains she wishes she
could hop


her thoughts spin so
wickedly
& she wants nothing more
than to
stop

a mildly disturbed mind
with a proper dose
of humor
draws her in
as the light of a fire
would to a trepidatious
moth


she can hear both sides
speak of the future
as if it were a
heaven

days in the mountains
days by the sea side
promised to her
as a medicinal solution
to her dead-set dark
& cynic prophesies

she sees no peace within it
'cause if all you got to
give is sanity
then she'll jump the
cliff
or she'll walk the
plank


just give a little
reality
& tell her there's
no hope
so let's drink and
sing all the good songs
until we
die

we got into it about me going to visit my mother on Friday
he said that my mother
& all of my friends in Cedar Vale
are a bad influence on
our son and he doesn't want me
going there
& that it didn't matter if I loved them
because they treat me
like ****

all of my friends do, did
you know that?
because no one ever comes to see me
so that means that nobody loves me
except for him
of course


'cause you always tell someone
you love
that you'd leave her if she ever
got pregnant again

that the way she behaves is
stupid *******
that her panic attacks are
stupid *******
& you yell in her face and
corner her
as she starts to have one
& she cries and gasps and cries


then she opens the window to breathe in
the cool stormy night
& breathes out


"This conversation is over until we have a mediator. That is final."

contrary to popular
belief
we are the sun
& the moon
but our fates haven't
accepted us
in the finest of diners
& the stars
are shy with their
violins

come capture all I've
held in gold dollars
for you
& you alone

we would have made
the greatest outlaws
a red convertible as
our getaway car
& enough tequila to last us
'til August when the
war is in our
rearview mirror
& the sun is hot on
our tongues

I just hope you realize
that I miss you
when you ain't around

& I hope you start to see
things my lonesome
way
in pale blue scarves
& touch of kerosene for
the bonfire dreams that make up
all I dreamed of
for our never-ending
paths
that never cease
to cross

Gives a ****
If she wears her
Heart
On the back of her
Sleeve
At least she doesn’t
Have to look at it
All day
& courteous people
Will warn her of
The stain
So it doesn’t often
Embarrass her
She’ll just cover it
& presto
She’s the same ****
Introvert
You thought you were
So afraid of
****
Seventeen
& every God forsaken
Pity party
It was ever worth
& **** Fate for
Always
.always.
Bringing him
Back.

you underestimate
my adoration

if you were a criminal
I'd be your Bonnie
without question

are you a criminal?
I could see it through your
hands
but never your heart
you'd think they were oil
& water
the way you play

oh, can you play


but I'm singing out secrets
& you don't like a rat
you said "you're quiet like a
mouse
& you'll guide me through
this maze"
you were dizzy and drunk
& you touched me far too much
in the kindest ways, never obscene
it was far too much
& never quite enough



the dreams never end
& I wake up with
wanting

the room with the
big oak table
is filled with windows
& she always keeps them
open to borrow a
breeze
from the warm countryside

the house always smells like
a summer rain
& he always kisses her
neck
when she sits on the
kitchen counter

the music is always
just low enough
to quietly swell the love she keeps
deep within her
bones

oh
he makes her feel
like home

where the city can't
cast enough
color


& the stars aren't so
alone

someone will be tired
one before the
other
that's just the way
it is

I wait for impatience
in my lighthouse of uncertainty
& doubt is diverted
through sunlight-kissed waves
nearly the precise hue
of his eyes

someone will be tired

how could you love anyone
with such a hidden
temper?
the kind who stalks herself
through the night
never fully satisfied with
destination or
decision

she wakes, inadequate
& improperly
rested
the day is a haze of
unpaid bills
empty cabinets
& her rebellious toddler

don't be her

don't be tired

don't say a word

the imaginary harbor of hurt
shall subside with the
rush of
tomorrow's tide

& she'll still wonder when he'll tire

my cunning wit
has vanished into the waves
& the uncertain deep

I want you to really see me


even as you sleep


I wanted to be carved within
the whispers
behind your teeth

I want to be the prey beckoning
the slow mellow
creep



& I want you to feel the
fire as I drag you
underneath

here she is
running on hard-boiled
fear
coupled with passive
adrenaline
bubbling underneath the
surface

they're playing the
final round
& he hasn't got a
clue
for the moment when she
very well should have
erupted
in a fit of fed up
pent up anguish
she kept quiet
as the dead
& began to plot
the great
escape

she put herself on
the high wire
with nothing but the
clothes on her back
a fifth of tequila at her hip
& a knife in her teeth

"we're gonna make it
out of this hell
one way
or
another"
she said as she was
more than 500 feet
from jagged
glass encrusted death
in a river of
uncertainty
& last minute decisions
that all seem to
revolve
around the full
acknowledgment of
the fact
that's he's a no good
two-timing
holier-than-thou ****



dear jesus



I hope it isn't windy
tomorrow

lips of amaranth
dripped decadent language
through weakened teeth
she gave all she had
to get there
& she's forgotten where she
left her pieces

fear of fate follows
her around as
vines held tightly to
her wrists,
waiting to prepare it's most
nefarious dish
so that she may be
tempted
to break loose
& put a pen to her
pain
but seldom does the
ink flow
for the fear makes its
bed in the nest
of all she doesn't want
to lose
settled in the leaves
of ivy
a prisoner she remains

but
would you declare
Stockholm Syndrome
if you truly
belong?

give me your
ghosts
& I'll fight the
fairest faces of the
earth
to prove you don't
belong where
you are

we only expose the very
barest
of our skin to the
things that know not
how to love

& he still turns away
disgusted
at the sight of a
tear

we continue to find our
little hope
in loveless places
& you continue
to puzzle me
with your peculiar
grace

we would have made
phenomenal outlaws
driving down the
desert highway
resistant to death
& calmly causing a mockery
of the
cracked and brittle bones
of the vast
decaying wilderness

yeah, we would have
if you'd only let me
use your gun
for the greater good

sun stayed close
today
I thrive on the first
day of the year
I can wear shorts outside
though it came a bit early this year
& I won't cross my fingers
for it to stay

the front porch step
offers little else than the
neighbor
trash-talking
on the other neighbors

everywhere I go at least
one more person
has lost the power to love

I should start making fliers
spread a little hope

but I'm no good with promises
& the cigarette butts she
flicks on my lawn
make me love her a lot less
too

these apartments are
non-smoking

none of us follow the rules here

I let the sun bake my bare legs
a bit more
the babe is trying to eat
dead leaves

I wonder where you
really are

& when you're coming home