I caught the moon at half mast tonight
Her helm swayed silently in the breeze
I grabbed at the handles
Turning the rudder due north

I rode into the black sky of night
Letting the wind billow the sails
The snap clap of loosened white fabric
As it taps on the mast

I emptied my pockets
Full of Marlboros and thirsting syringes
Tossing those weights off the starboard side
Where I'm going I don't need short-lived  highs

*I cast off those weights
And let them fall down to earth
As I  whistled a hymn
That I heard as a boy
Floating up and up
Without a care
The night was my lover
The smell of her hair-

Out in the empty
I heard angels softly singing
Their words swaying slow
Into the ******* nothing
I am a brother to stars
A bringer of life
A listener of melodies
Lost in the sky

Out here in the wonderland
Between heaven and earth
The angels were calling
Without speaking words
And I knew without asking
I could go anywhere
Touch the face of planets
Unseen by human eyes
I could take my ship Luna
Through dying nebulae
those
clouds lost in space


I could stay here forever

In this nowhere I've found
But the gleam of your eyes
Haunted me from the ground
I knew you didn't want me
Or care if I left
But I wanted to be there in case
We had some time left
when your talking about life
Even a moment is enough

So I looked at the angels
Shining all in their glory
To the echo of space I asked
"But what if she wants me?"

So I turned the main sails
Away from the wind
To earth I was going
To the home where I lived

The rush of the breeze
The groan of the ship
As we settled back down
On this terrestrial strip

My feet touched the grass
You were nowhere to be found
So I just picked up my cigarettes
And sharps off the ground

men write poems about ******* women
and vaginas and ****
and glorious juices and getting drunk after

and I can’t
because I have a ******
and ****
and I get uncomfortable if they want to drink after.

and if I wanna write about how I really like it
when he climbs on top of me
and puts his **** into my warm hot love-cave,

it’s just ****** poetry.
by a woman
and it doesn’t mean anything
but if I was a “****”
a “*****”
and I said “no”
and wrote a poem about “****”
it would make women love me as a feminist

but I’m not a feminist
I just like it when he ***** me
and his chest hair falls out
and covers my ******* and goes into my bellybutton


I don’t mind having to
lint roll
the sheets

he thinks about it minute by minute
month after month

and how sweetly he craves
ravenous for its wetness and **** taste

and sweat that will pour out of her
he wants that too

and he thinks “I would be gentle, tender, loving”

but he passes her--silently on the bus every morning
contemplating her ivory thighs
and sighs into a tissue when he gets home every night
and wishes for something more than his wife can give him

something new

but God made all vaginas alike

You are my back up
Stick to the plan
No matter what
You are Wendy
and I'm Peter Pan
After I throw myself from the fifth story window
Of some ***** apartment in China town
Wait for the cops and tell them who I am
Tell them that I was trying to go home
To never never land
But I ran out of happy thoughts
Before I took to the air
And when they pull up my sleeves
Pointing at my track marks with a ball point pen
you tell them that was from shooting fairy dust
Straight to my brain
when they ask about my wallet
Any cash or car keys
Tell them their with captain Hook
he stole em' from me
When they ask where I am from
Say I'm a lost boy
And that's all
no mom and dad or sisters
Only John, Micheal, and teddy
Tell them I was best friends with the Indians
and the beautiful mermaids
And when they ask who you are
You're Wendy Darling
The girl who told stories
And kept my head full of dreams

Creek
I call it a crick
when I was ten- no eleven

Maybe ten and a half

My dad worked as a mechanic....like I do now

I remeber he came home one day and kicked off his ***** workboots by the front door
His hands were always dirtier than a *******

He always had grease and dirt under his nails when he got home
and would run them under hot water and glo-jo like I do now

Them hands were COVERED in scars
....mine aren't that scarred yet
and I'm hoping they never will be

I got out of this town once and made it half way around the ******* planet

But I came back when aunt mary-lou died
the only thing I remember from that funeral
....the girl across from me was wearing a red thong
her name was Megan (I had a dog with that name once)
She was aunt mary-lou's friends **** *** stepdaughter

She had that look like
"I am way too good for this trailer park *******"
And I smiled and thought
"I know you are"

Well my dad came home
To find out that I had broken the bb gun he got when he was fourteen

And instead of yellin' at me
or beatin' me
he told me to go get him a beer
and he let me have a sip

I thought he was gonna tear me up and down like a red headed step-child
Or put his cigarette out on my palm

But he didn't
He just sat there
and still to this day I wonder why I didn't get the usual


Truth is:
when I came back from getting his beer on that fateful day
I thought I might have seen my dad wiping a tear from his cheek

I have just ****** it all up with you haven't I
Someone please stop me before I burn every bridge
leading to your gentle heart
I deserve to be lost
and never found
Blinded
so that I may never see
Yet I wonder
If I would crawl after you in the darkness
Yelling out your name
I see my mistakes with you in slow motion
the truth serum takes hold after so many shots
But
whether / am in slow motion or not
I would tell you my deepest longings
I am so backwards on this planet
While others throw rocks to hurt
I kiss wounds
and tell you
It is all ok
I am sorry that I seem a demon
But I am only a boy
With a boy's honest heart
I wish I could hear your voice
or feel your hand in mine

Let's stand around and talk about taxes and crime
Or watch it on t.v
Cool people only getting cooler
As alcohol leaks

I think I remeber leaving a party with you and falling asleep
on a dew covered hill

But I woke up in my bed

The shirt you had warn
Was pink and white through the haze
Remebering your face
But I still couldn't think your name
...I remember that you said you liked only
The old starwars
And your favorite Zelda
Ocorina of time
You got high with me and watched adventure time
And talked to me about the effects of ether on the human mind
You liked ska and doc martens
With only black laces
Japanese tea pots
BC ***
Black Jack Davey
Tattooed on your neck
You told me you were fourteen
When you last wore black lipstick.
"Far out"  
Yellow Submarine
Mushroom picker
The
Tingling of your spine
As it creeps up your neck
I was about to fall away to oblivion
Until I saw your smiling teeth




I got all the way to work without noticing
Jen
And your number on my wrist

Something always brings my mind back to you.
And I'm unsure if it's to torture myself
or because I have nobody else to think about.

Or maybe it's because you were the first person
(I thought) that I loved.
But I was young(er) and (more) naive.
Although I am still those things
I'm old enough to know
all the people you want to stay
are always going to find reasons to leave.

It's been 3 years since we talked
and I'm finding it hard to remember
every little thing about you
that I once had memorized.

Like the sound of your voice
the feel of your skin
the scent of your clothes
or your taste on my lips.

I  have tried to erase every part of you.

The one thing I do remember though,
is giving you my heart
and watching you hold it in your hands-
not even glancing at it
as you dropped it and walked away,
never looking back.

And I still think about you?
What the **** is up with that?