I lose you
like I lose my mind-

effortlessly.

I have one last request. **** me.
Help me run away. Anything.
I sit here in agonizing pain as
I press my frozen fingertips
Into my burning eyes,
Trying,
Fighting,
Murdering every tear that threatens to escape.
I feel chilled across every expanse of my skin and
I wait for the end that I have wanted for so long.

Become part of the mindless masses
Be secure in your lack of identity
And then wake up when you are brave enough to be insulted

And here I sit
Refreshing my email
What do I expect?

why must
the saddest of people
be the ones
who get
hurt
the most?
it is not exactly
fair
you see,
they are hurt
they must be healed,
but some wounds
do not want to close
and choose
to remain
open
and raw.

m.g.

Karma is a *****.
You heard the saying so many times.
What goes around comes around.
The golden rule.
Whatever.

Karma is a *****.
But not to the people who deserve it.
The people who were the nice ones,
Who have  been suffocated;
Their payment is long overdue.
I know a lot of people, including myself,
That have struggled to be kind for so long.
They have completely possessed the person
They once were.


Lately I've been a *****.
Please forgive me.

Ive tried for so long.
And I can not deal with this anymore.
I feel the need to rebel.
Because it is something to do.

You would do it to.
And most likely have
If you have been as caged in
As I was.

So it seems that
The popular opinion
Is that not being desensitized is some flaw.
That when pressured to see things I hate I should just
Be quiet?
And that I should be reminded constantly that I am a terrible person
Because I am sensitive.
"It's just a movie."
...
So?
It's not my fault it makes me feel horrible inside!
I want to participate
But if I say how I feel honestly, I get
"Of course."
"You're always like this!"
I know I am
I don't try to.
"You're always against everything,"
I'm sorry for my views.
That's who I am.
But I can try to change, if it's what you really want.
...
Sorry.

I hate to insult my own mother
But I'm afraid this must be
Dealt with.
I feel angry at you most of the time now
But you said something yesterday
An offhand remark
"Thank God I'm not married."
Don't you dare.
Don't you dare make it sound like
God is on your side in not being married
Tearing our family apart
Breaking us all.
Do you know what dad said?
About you not going to counseling?
You don't think he's worth fighting for.
You don't think our happiness and peace are
Worth fighting for.
I promise you
God is not on your side in this.
He never could be.
Not my God.

As I walk through this life
I am burning.
Burning alive.
Flames ripping
Tearing at my flesh.
I have been terribly disfigured
Left a mangled shell
Of my former self.

As I walk through this life
I am reviving
Reviving my soul.
Bandages healing
Light restoring.
My disfigurations fade
But never leave.

As I fall into hell
Temptations ravaging me
As the hungry flames
Taint my skin
I know I am falling
And I feel it.
But can I change?

Lifted up
I feel restored
My wounds healing at once.
But I know that there are others
Falling
So I must go back.
I must return.

I am no longer falling
Though I constantly waver
I push through the flames
Standing strong when attacked
Brutalized by those I love.
But I must go back down
To bring them up.

Have you ever tried swearing at someone
Using the meanings of the swear words?
I'm gonna *** **** up female dog.
Well ***.
*** you donkey hole.
****** donkey *******.
Happy donkey mother sexer.

It doesn't work as well.