I wake up in a haze,
Dazed, wondering through a fog of
People, faces, voices
Breath, laughter
Clusters of long forgotten memories

Opening up those scars
That have twice healed over
Exposing them once again
Bleeding, dark droplets
And the dream deepens

As the essence flows
Through a stained body
A stained existence
Yearning for self redemption
I know not pity

To Caress me down
Sweet silk decadence
A flower known as a child
The petals buried deep
Into the earth

Awakened again
When the nostalgia ceases
When poison desires are expunged
The candle lit
When I am free

From myself
The laughter excavated
From the hollows of my soul
Memories of a willow,
Willow, willow

Widowed
Though I know not
Of a bond of gold
And silver, it is love
That I know of



And it was taken
And poisoned
With sweet elixirs
And gentle caresses
Laid to rest

Beautiful eyes
Beautiful lips
Memorized in their extravagance
But never known the same
As when she closed them

Forever lost
With distorted memories
In a world
That I cannot touch
With my crumbling hands

Left to wonder
If those eyes can be seen again,
Sweet deity of Venus
Golden locks that soothed
My troubles

I’ll fall asleep
Hoping to wake up
From this nightmare
Of this nothingness

And I
Will
Remember

What
Love

Was

I feel so cold…
Satin waters caress my body
Skin licked by a cold flame
Sinking deeper into oblivion
Eyes colored ebony

What a sweet song…
The memory of a life once lived
My breath floats away
The color and beauty of the world
Is carried with it

The music begins a crescendo
And in this moment
I am unified

Gazing with starlit eyes
I say goodbye to the world I live in
To the harmonies of love and suffering
To the chorus of nature

I say adieu to the wonder of the world
To curiosity
My essence trapped in tiny buoyant bubbles

I realize this moment I feared for so long
Is the most breathtaking moment of life
I feel life ending in a triumphant symphony
In a swift dance, a waltz, a lullaby

With a gracious gesture
I wave my hand goodbye
I close my eyes
I am devoid of pain

I am finally whole

Turn off the light,
Force my eyes to adjust  
So for a brief point in time
I don’t have to deal with the world.

The roués of an instance
Pressing and compressing
Ideas once held so dearly,
So close to the chest,
Fundamental morals that are nurtured and grown to define who I am, to determine what defines me,
to know what best explains who, what, when, where and why I become ‘I’;


...Has warped.

We are all required
To develop an acquired
Taste of territoriality
Over who we are, and what we have
Or,
Who we have and why we are.

“She is mine. From the second I laid eyes on her I knew.”- The Landlord

That determinism,
That ‘I am who I am, and the only thing that changes is time’
Is flawed.
Time does not change!
Who we are changes!

Change only comes from within.
The unfathomable amount of people I can and will be,
Stems from me and myself alone.
However poignant this is,
The matter arises that,
No question how much responsibility I have for why I am, who I am, and who I need to be;
These people will never meet.

We are told to dream,
That we can be whoever we want to be,
Though we never want to be who we are.
The closer we get to the carrot,
The more we realise
It is dangling from the pole taped to our heads.

Never live for the dream
Just be existent in the present,
For the vision does not exist.
And never will.
It just changes.



*And I am sick of dreaming… But I lack sleep.

…Oh god, what have I done?

Forget he's human
just like you
because he loves a man
just like you don't want him to

Forget that she's human
just like you
she likes women
instead of you

Does it break you heart?
when someone falls
out of your expectations
there must be something wrong

He may not have grown up
wanting to be the man
your faith wanted him to become
so where goes the love

Men don't cry
just **** it up
and move on with life

She may not have grown up
being very lady like
so you've had enough
of her relating to the guys

Women aren't strong
you need a man
to hold you up in life

Where are all the people

Oh never mind him
he's just mentally impaired
you can make fun of him
he's too stupid to care

But really
he hurts like the rest of us
needing the acceptance

Where are all the people
with the unconditional love

Why can't these robots see
life is more beautiful
with color

Love should be free
so should our choices
how hard is it to imagine
will it ever be?

Hide your feelings
you might be a woman inside
even though you are a man
you should hate yourself
because everyone else will

What will the children become
when the future is already laid out for them

Who wants to grow up
and have no imagination?

So why be silent
when we can spread love
like a virus
spreads an epidemic

Wake up and stop hating
hate is for those with fear

Forget what you don't know
and accept it for what it is
it's going to be there anyway