In my darkness
There are no cracks
No rays of light
Trying to peek through
Only helpless moments
A shadow of the one I knew before
Looking back
I know I lost myself
long before I even noticed
The look on your face
When meeting by chance
Says a million nothings
To a man that has forgotten how to care  
Hither onwards this lowly soul will wander
**** you for not telling me before
**** them all
How was I to know I was cursed
Sometimes it is wise to tell
Your friends the truth you see
Behind those lost grey eyes
For if by not revealing the truth
You loose a friend to the darkness
What was your silence for
But to save your own back
Be wise next time
Now leave me be
For the beast
Is hungry
And you look like a
Satisfying snack my dear

My wife stood on the scales

The display showed 8 stone, 8 & 3/4lbs

I said, "You may as well call it 8 stone 9lbs"

She replied, "No! 8 stone 8lbs!"

We went shopping

There was a 30 inch flat screen tv on sale for £149.99

"Wow!" I said, "£149? That's cheap!"

"£150!" she barked

I can't win