Had it all figured out.
Life.
Warmth.
Home.
Money.
Support.
Where did it go?
I'm just getting older.
Slowly slipping away.
I lost myself.
Where am I?
I thought I knew.
Now I can't be sure.
What makes me happy?
What am I passionate about?
Besides my true love..
I don't have much at all.
Wanting the burden to go away.
I am stuck hiding in this world.
Lost in all the dark corners.
With all the painful memories.
With all the happy sights.
With the mixed up feelings.
I just don't understand.
Why am I lost...
During the time I need to know myself the most.
My whole future depends on me.
But i'm stuck.
Lost.
Just...
Lost.

I have a friend, I dont know why.
But she looks in the mirror, and starts to cry.
She doesn't see herself as you or i.
So then i ask her,
"Why?"

And so she says,
After a deep breath,
About her past,
That lays at rest.

She's been scarred,
Above the rest.
Because of things
That aren't the best.

How can people be so cruel?
Cruel enough to make her ask herself,
"Why am I still alive?"

As she picks up the blade
please put down the knife
And thinks of all the pain,
And so much strife.
don't end your life

She contemplates just
How much it would hurt,
But it would be the very last time,
Before she's in the dirt.

And she's done it before,
Many a time,
So now it doesn't hurt,
She isn't even crying.

But I am,
As she tells me,
And today I still cry,
To think of what would have happened
If she had died.

And I know that
Everyday
On the bus home,
She clenches the chair,
To keep her in her zone.
As she passes the store,
Where she used to buy knives.

Everyday that she stays,
Is a day she has strength,
Not to get off that bus,
And go to great lengths.

But every time she gets off
Almost ends her life.

She's tried to get better,
Believe me she's tried.
Just nothing is working,
And so she just lies.

She takes all the pills,
Sometimes too many,
She goes to the sessions,
Trust me, there are plenty.

And despite all the
Pain and the darkness and the sad,
She keeps on going,
Even through the bad,
And I know she is strong.

And even though she is with us,
I know that inside,
Every day she is pushing,
Is a day she has died.

Can't sleep decide to write
Helps me get through the night
I get pushed around but standing tall
I may not have it all
But willing to be my best give it my all
Not easy to love but has so much to give
Its a struggle not always easy to live
Ppl come and go like the seasons
More go then stay so I don't get too attached
Id open up but can't always live up to the demand
Be humble not angry with ****** hands

So close...
Yet so far away
Only a couple more months
And some number of days
I'm almost there
I'm on my way
I never thought it would be this close
I can almost grab it
I'm patiently waiting
But is time actually moving slower?
Maybe it's just me
My mind is just focused on that day
It sounds so scary
Yet I'm as excited as ever
Because it's just..
So close...
Yet so far away.

The wind blows,
hard and fast,
the leaves fly around,
along the ground,
the sky is grey,
the air is cool,
beauty,
pure beauty,
energetic weather,
but you,
you look at me,
like i'm so cruel
all i can do is sit silent,
not knowing what to say,
awkward silence,
i feel like crying,
i don't understand,
i don't remember why we are fighting,
the words you say,
did you mean them?
the sky is grey,
so is my heart,
i feel it is ripping out of my chest,
you turn on the music,
every word of it,
describes how i think you feel,
the lyrics hit me,
like i did you wrong,
i don't know what to do,
i don't know what to say,
i don't know how to feel,
will everything be okay?
soon though we talk,
you keep it simple at first,
then everything comes out,
what do i say?
finally i hear it,
those words i needed to hear,
now i know what to say,
i'm sorry,
you take me in your embrace,
and then awkward silence again,
i lay on the floor and start to cry,
you ask me,
are we breaking up,
and then you spill out your heart to me,
you take me in your embrace again,
and we cry together,
finally,
i say those three words,
that makes everything okay.

Laying on my bed, tired of fight another day
I want to rest, sleep. I close my eyes
I find myself in a beautiful place
At the peak of a mountain
Where the sky is at dawn
And the wind softly blowing through my hair
Carrying with itself the most pretty cherry blossom leaves
I've never seen
seem dancing with the soft wind's blow

Marveled, I stay
I've ever seen such a place on earth
I feel the light heat of the sun but
the wind makes me shriver from its cold blow
I across my arms
trying to make myself a little warm

From the distance
You came
I am atonished, thinking I'm seeing an angel
Towards me slowly you walk
I saw your face
your hair, golden brown dancing with the wind
your eyes pierced through mine
leaving my soul naked at your sight
your lips so smooth, like made of silk
and light pink, soft reddish

My heart is beating faster
with every step you take towards me
within only inches apart
Our faces meet

You opened your arms
and take me closer to you
Your arms so strong and delicate at the same time
I lean my head on your chest
I feel safe

Then you move your head
Your lips rosin my ear
you said "

Once you start to fall apart
The world is uncaring, scary and dark
Once you begin to lose your way
It gets harder to cope day by day
Once the sadness eats you up
You don't care anymore, you don't give a ****
You spend all of your time isolated in bed
Despairing over what's happening inside of your head
Soon enough you'll want to die
To end it all and close your eyes
In the hope that when again they open
You're in a lovely little place
Where no-one's broken