I liked you once
No one knew
But now suddenly
Out of the blue
I strangely have developed
The same old feelings for you
We both liked each other
You even asked me out
But I couldn't say yes
For my heart was taken by someone else
But we talk a lot
I enjoy talking to you
My feelings have come back to me
But I don't know about yours
My friends now know
That I like you again
And they will reach
To the ends to try and get
Me to ask you out
I want to but,
I am
Overtaken
With
Doubt...

I sometimes
No I always
Wonder if people
Would care about me more
If I was just another dead girl
It's least likely for nobody cares anyway
So they could say go **** yourself and not care if you do

I sometimes
No I always
Wonder if people
Would see me for who I was
No just another nobody or a wannabe
They wouldn't see me for the intelligent and pretty and kind girl I am
It's basically they are ignoring the fact you are actually human as well.

I sometimes
No I always
Wonder if people
Would actually miss me
Out of the love and pain of their heart
Not just cause I helped them with homework or a problem

I however
Never seem
To realize
That no one would care
Except my parents and my five friends

I fail
To realize
That nobody except my family and five friends
Will see me for the me I truly was

I fail
To realize
That nobody but my family and five friends
Will truthfully miss me

I fail to realize
Because I shield reality
So it don't break me
If I see reality I shed tears constantly
If I see reality I see how terrible this world is
And all I can wonder is
If I died
Who would care
If I died
Who would see me for who I actually am
If I died
Who would miss me
If I died
Why was I given suicidal thoughts to begin with
Why was I bullied so much
Why was I hurt so much
Why did everyone break me
Why did I have to cry at everything
Why couldn't I have been tougher
Why couldn't I have fought longer
Why didn't I keep the ones that loved me close
Why did I push my loved ones away
Why did I make so many mistakes
Why did I turn away from God so much
Why did I doubt God
Why did I lose my best friends
Why did I gain friends worth more that I deserve
Why am I treated so nicely when I am a bad person
Why
Why
Why do I wish I were dead?
I have life so good
So why do I want to end it so badly
No matter how much I oust the thoughts away
Suicide
Anxiety
Depression
Low self esteem
No confidence

They come back stronger than I can handle anymore
So I want to just end it all
The headaches
The heartaches
They all come back

When asked if I am okay
All I can reply is
I'm fine
It's all I can do

But the only question
I want people to ask is

Why?

Have you heard something you wish you shouldn't have
Today I did I wish I could forget
But it was very serious
So my mind is turning
Hoping that this person is okay
And that they are sad by the end of the day

You shove me trying to make me fall
But I still yet stand mighty and tall
This makes you mad so you try another approach
However you just remind me of a roach
You creep you crawl you are very annoying
Go back to being a kid and toying with others
For I am not putting up with your childish acts

I have decided to return
To this lovely site
For my depression is keeping
Me awake at night
It it drowning me with fright
So I have decided poetry will help
Me come up for a breath
I have missed this site dearly
Here young teens are taken seriously
Unlike in reality when we are mistakened for jokes
My depression makes me choke
Scared of my own image
But I have yet
Returned

As I'm sitting in class
I am very near to falling asleep
If I get in trouble
I probably will weep
But for some odd reason I can't help
But begin to continuously
Fall asleep

I was once able to write poems
But it seems not my brain has crashed
So I'm afraid I will stop writing at last
I can not think of the words to say
Though my brain is thinking every night and day
I can not think of the feelings I
Used to fill my poems with
But now I am staring at my boring, white ceiling
For this will probably be my last
For my brain has stopped
Though writing poetry was a blast
I now say goodbye
And I will soon after cry
But farewell