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 Feb 2014 Jerry
Sarina
I became so scared of hurting you
that I stopped
wanting to touch you,

and now
I just wait for other things to do it for me. A
sapling has reached puberty
greening its leaves

while an old oak dies, limbs
creating air
around your face
almost like wind but more like breath:
it

is syrupy
stuck to your chest hair. I do not

need anything more than the knowledge of
how my cotton slip
would pull
against you, or how your skin

reacts when it is
about to rain – how the clouds react
for you.

Without me
you can feel how promises begin
to feel like sea foam

and

why

when you wake up
in my bed every morning, it is because
I whispered
an apology too loudly
and little vibrations touched

something
in your ear. I am sorry for that, too –

sorry for the times we
forgot to take our glasses off
before
you were on top of me

sorry that it takes less than a month for a
habit to form
but years to break them

which is why
I still
want
to touch you

before someone else can show you
how walking barefoot
boosts your immunity system.
 Feb 2014 Jerry
M
This is not a poem
 Feb 2014 Jerry
M
This is not a poem.
This is an overview of my day.
Today I told my ex boyfriend off because he didn't value me the way I deserved. I'll probably end up crying myself to sleep again because I liked him a lot, but when it boiled down to it he didn't make time for me nor did he realize that I can walk away. I dated another guy before him and he didn't value me either. Life is short and I don't have time for boys who don't kiss me hard and give me their all.

Now to be fair, I am just a girl. I'm 18, I'm loud and passionate and most definitely a hand full. I write poetry, mostly about people I love. I love hard. I feel a lot. I like to hike and read and be around my friends and buy CDs and go concerts. I love cuddling and kissing. I can't stand clowns and obnoxiously loud, piercing noises. I need green tea AND coffee to get through the day. I love calf socks. I'm insecure about my stomach and my attractiveness. I love my smile. I feel most at ease watching sunsets. I can't wait for the day when someone looks at me as if I'm perfect, because I know I'm not.

I'm average. I am no more than a girl, so sometimes I doubt that I deserve what I ask out of relationships. Not everyone will think I am worth it. I'm not worth it to everyone. But I can't forget that I do deserve the best. I feel everyone does and that definition of "best" differs for everyone. I know that life is too short to be with anyone who makes you feel unloved. I know life is too short to be quiet about love. Love can't be boring or easy because that's a lie. Love is fighting and trying and working with someone else. Life is mediocre in so many different ways; love and dating can't be so. It's never convenient and you have to make time. There is never a good time, you just have to make time. You have to love yourself and believe you are worth the best even if you sometimes doubt it. I am just a girl, but someday someone is going to say that I am the girl.

Have a backbone. Stand tall for yourself. Leave anyone who doesn't think you're ******* beautiful and absolutely worth trying for. Make sure you know that not everyone shows effort the same way, and it's okay if some types of effort aren't good enough for you. Walk away even if your feet drag. Be your own person, let someone chase you. Let someone work for you. Reciprocate. Repeat if it doesn't work. Love yourself enough to be by yourself instead of sleeping in someone's arms that don't hold you close enough.

Today I told someone to make the **** time for me or he could kiss my ***. I told him I am not fleeting moments or spare seconds. I am light years beyond his effort. I am beyond what he can give me. He's a good person but not the person for me. So I walked away. And I'll cry myself to sleep tonight about it. But I did what was right for me, because I deserve the best out there even if I'm just a girl.

This isn't a poem. This is my life and how losing people sometimes leads to finding better ones. If you read this, best of luck. You deserve it, because losing me must hurt like hell. That's how it feels for you too. You'll find other people. You're a blip in my sky and your star burned out. Doesn't mean that you, or I, won't shine in someone else's galaxy. I am just a girl, but I'm not your girl.
 Feb 2014 Jerry
Lola
There is a house in my head, and in it lies the gun.
There is one bullet, and it’s meant for me.
But it’s in the basement, under Styrofoam sheets.
I run to my mother, and I ask for a crucifix –
She answers me adequately, by hanging me from her cross.
There’s no one else in the house, but I run for daddy.
But he’s dead, and he’s gone. And that’s it, and that’s done.
I had a brother, but he is immersed in his own fight.
He’s broken his head on the light, and now he’s bleeding profusely.
I’ve taken pills with him, but now he’s catatonic.
I used to think of him, but now he’s just demonic.
There’s poison in the cupboard, and my symbolism lies within.
I drink to think, but the dark just won't give in.
There is a metaphysical jitter. Brother, possessed in the din.
Father, in his lucid little lie. How he tries and he tries.
Mother throws herself at God and asks for no more reprimands.
She calls spirits and has cats and wakes the dead but ignores the living.
And now I’m reminiscing over the repetition of my lies, my life, my highs.
By night the skeletons come out dancing, and corneas turn red-gold.
There’s a devil in this domain, and that's why the floor's so cold.
My father’s father tried to **** his son’s mother, and now he tries to find another in every other.
A sister was shocked to hell in an electric shock therapy cell.
Pills and pills and pills and pills and thrills and thrills and thrills and thrills.
Welcome to the House of Perdition.
Won't you stay a while?
C'mon, drug a child?
Take a seat please.
Ignore the deceased, please,
And feel free to slap the idle hands of the diseased.
Here I stand - beheaded child. Chanting, oh mother. Tell your children not to do what I have done.

I have killed in the House of Perdition.

Everyone.
 Feb 2014 Jerry
September
A slate cannot
be wiped clean
if sins are
written with a
chisel.
 Feb 2014 Jerry
Eileen Prunster
im in mourning
didn't even see it
dawning
why do I
do this every night
and wake up
feeling
full of
.............
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