Early morning sun was pouring in through their window
the warmth spreading over the beds
keeping the boys drowsy
downstairs the telephong rang
no-one answered it
he crawled out from under the heavy quilted bedspread
his brother had a bedspread with stars all over
celestial-something
too long a word for a five year old to bother with
he went to the phone
picked it up
listened  
did what it the voice had told him
he went to the kitchen
got the bbq fluid and matches
poured it on his brothers bed
went down stairs
watched The Hair Bear Bunch while his brother burned

He woke in the vw.
Things were getting out of hand
there was nothing but silence from the Landlord
no comments on his work
maybe he was getting to obscure for his own good
might start to think he was nothing but a *** criminal
That's not right, his ethics preclude that.
Love no *** no just killing and causing ******* pain.
That put a smile back on his face.
Over to his right dogs were barking
mad like they were afraid.
He followed the noise, down into the concrete flood channel.
Dogs were ok Judy wrote that poem about their honesty
They don't ***** you over
Or let you down.
He found the dogs. Three barking at something red.
something gutted like a fish.
Spread out.
He bent over, started to move bits, then frowned.
Louisa..
Slowly turning around  he scanned the area.
Then left to check
Cat on the porch a worried woman in the window
Glad for the cat.
Someone was playing a game
He liked games.
Went to an internet cafe
logged on
saw there was a Poem from a new poet
Serial Roadkill
read it got it
time to get into character
We'll see how good you are boy
I'm no old lady
He cast a circle around the motel bed that night
had to hit the kid ******* in the bathroom real hard till she shut up
distracting him
He said the words slow. under his breath

If I find a way back to you through the dark and dawn I'll take it
a thousand circles in blood for the boy who doesn't live anymore

maybe this is what is meant to be, one final test..

He was parked up a hundred yards from her house
imagining Louisa
not too picky, judging from the run-down old houses
several were boarded up.
He was becoming quite absorbed with one of those.
A bad place. Soon to be notorious, a good house for a woman to be afraid in......
He had dug through all the Metal tapes in the vw.
Found Pride and Glory. Played Harvester of Pain over.
Till he was ready.
I'll show her hearts and love, god he was mad.
Hope Daisy gets to watch, wow that excited him.
The light came on early.
He waited until dusk, then walked around the back of her house.
Then in.
****.
****, she had a cat.
Old as well, would it starve?
Then he saw her in the chair.
Jesus! Older than the cat.
And smiling at him.
He drove away an hour later.
Felt like hell inside. Forgetful old ***** thought he was her home help.
So he made her a coffee, fed the cat.
Sanctimonious cow gave him money.
Her husbands photograph was on the wall faded brown like she was.
Died in the war, drowned practising for D-Day.
So he spared her, for that and for the sake of the cat.
He stole an old bottle of whisky on his way out.
No sobriety test on the road to hell.
Six hours later he kicked a teenage ******* to death.
Dressed like that, you can't have a mother or a mirror.
Left the old ladies money on her corpse,this one's for Her.

Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do........
boy! That Cadillac was one hell of a piece of engineering.
Burned a long time, like it enjoyed the pain of the flames.
He smiled at the thought.
Handmade by union men the way it should always be.
Not those ******* up ***** like Jimmy Hoffa either.
That *******, probably a ****** like hoover.
The image of him in a basque stuck.
Made him angry, but he soon reined it in.
Lecter was never angry. Not in the books.
He prefered the books, no change-the -ending for the mass appeal.
******* movies.
He was cautious now, the fake i.d. for the rental would fool most.
He was pushing things, her blood in the trunk even burnt black worried him. Next time will be better.
In Daisy's book was a circled name with hearts drawn around it.
Louisa. Her address as well. Nice and easy. 200 miles to go.
Make like Rutger in The Hitcher, move west....
The VW Rabbit was a ****** car after the Caddy.
The two kid's didn't want to give it up easy, but they did in the end.
They looked so silly, tied back-to-back in the rear seat, legs broke to squeeze them in.
Made him smile all through the night.
No blood this time, not yet anyway. Playing Slipknot to **** him off, little *****.
Well write a song for these two, clown boy.
He had looked on their lap-top at the poetry site.
Saw the latest post from the pub landlord. He was a little confused, this poem didn't seem to be telling him his next move.
He dragged them out into a ditch before dawn, stood on their necks to **** them, like the coyote trappers did, cruel *******.
No blood, just **** all over each other as they died.
Maybe he'd get a reward poem for doing it, in the meantime finding Louisa would keep him occupied.
The vw had a cheap sat nav, hope she's home.....

Ma Bonny Breeks is Buggert
a wordy pair they were
was havin' a jink an' ******
an' split ma favorit pair

made me raize an' made me rair
man a was mad reamin'
fien-ma-care be buggert
set me to a-screaming

I had ta' pang my muckle belly
fair rax'd it in yin breeks
need a'skyrin pair the noo
Ta hoord will tak' ten weeks  !

Burns music tomorrow night
singing and dancing words take flight
just to be there with the ones
who take the lead and start the fun
tend to stay a wee bit calm
always quiet cause no harm
so much kindness all around
good folk make a special sound
when all's done it's home to sleep
warm and happy thoughts to keep
hope this poem gives a peek
we'll do it all again next week

Looking back into the past what does it get me?
a few bad people who will probably forget me
digging up the painful stuff
need to cry "That is enough!"
look ahead and live for now
things are good a world of wow!
kick myself back into life
drop the misery and strife
will take the poem I just wrote
delete it wont keep a note
consign it to the ******* tip
to much bad stuff get a grip
a cull of all the bad is coming
going to live the wires are humming
got this one big final chance
this time I will not look askance
I took the risk and made the move
Was it right? That I will prove!

Two cats in my pocket
one plastic one of clay
hold them both
and think of those
who pray for  me today
two sat eating their dinner
hoping for my success
the others there at
home feeling all the stress
only told the closest
they all need to know
no point being sneaky
I am way to slow
A pagan and an angel
their husbands
calm an cool
all wanting me to
do so well
wee ***** welshy fool
It went so good
I don't believe
I passed my driving test
the confidence is poor in me
to that they will attest
so the wee cats that  
they gave to me
made me feel them there
so think of the ones
who care for you
the ones who truly care

When he was a boy he found a baby opposum
lying on the ground by a dug out nest in the sunshine
he took it home full of excitement to his mother
she told him to throw it in the garbage
he stole upstairs with it
wrapped it in a small piece of lace
and put it in a little willow basket
a risky thing crossing his mother
the opposum had died by the morning
when his mother saw that he had crossed her
she tied the dead opposum around his neck
and smashed his toy sailboat
He was thinking of this as he drove away in the cadillac
with Daisy in the trunk

It is locked up solid
it sounds so squalid
horrid even torrid
my flirt gland is stuck shut
no I am not a nut
but
not got a feeling in my gut
if I do I'll run away
from you
probably so fast
there will be a sonic boom
as I leave the room
thinking of
my impending doom
need a woman full of fight
who'll tag me bag me
put me right
needs to be a real tough gal
got to sneak her by my pal
so why do I just give on up?
women in Wales say that I am tup
never trying is my only plan
shrinking violet not a man
will I change?
Will I hell!
such a coward can't you tell
keep on like this till I die
then hide from women in the sky X

Tomorrow comes to quick these days
whizzing, sprinting through my gaze
as the years go rushing by
slow down, I'm worried that I'll die.
I'll miss things that are yet to be
I want to live? Is that really me?
"******* you cheeky liar
we got the wood for your funeral pyre!
All the times you tried to leave
last rites made us start to grieve
then you recovered in a trice
put the burial on ice."
nearly went in the big french crash
on my head oh, what a smash
lost my memories for a bit
can't spot my friends, makes me feel ****
drunk bad stuff, burnt inside
still got a grin a half mile wide
set on fire for fun while fishing
"An extinguisher!" I was wishing
loads of pills, ergotomine too
saw bad things from satan's zoo
tunnel of light like in the movies
got sent back, yeah really groovy
ICU with all false names
never knew me, good at that game
now there's stuff I need to do
people help me to pull through
so think I'll try and stick around
not go six feet beneath the ground

"I am the Walrus..." the lyric passed through his head
stood in the pounding sun of Death valley.
He poured the dregs of his mineral water onto the hot dirt.
steam rose fast, as if a conflagration
was ablaze deep in the parched ground.
Not as beautiful a place as the great ergs of the sahara
that he saw on discovery channel
He looked back at the shimmering mirage that was his rental cadillac
not that he'd be taking it back,
not with what was spread all over the trunk....
Daisy had seemed a nice kid, talked a bit too much maybe,
Not saying much now. That thought made him smile.
How her wide her eyes were when she saw the 1911.
A good year for guns, 1911, he thought.
And the Great War just around the corner.
He preferred the phrase the Great War to World War One.
He felt it was more respectful to those who had died.
Daisy hadn't been respectful enough.
So he killed her for the dead heroes sake
Mineral water made him think.
People came to the Valley to work back in the day,
chemicals, minerals, salt maybe..... he wasn't too sure what.
Sure as hell no water.
Before them, travellers, settlers passed through.
Some died, they had no respect, like Daisy.
They thought their teams of oxen could pull up the grade
get them out of the valley, but many couldn't do it.
Died and dried, before the oxen could evolve into something bigger.
Like daisy died before she evolved a respectful brain.
He read about evolution in the Geographic, sort of felt
he was pretty well evolved. Maybe some kind of chosen one.
Thinking of the poor oxen dying made him mad as hell.
He began a slow walk back to the Caddy, there were some numbers and addresses in Daisy's purse.
He smiled to himself, this was going to be a good year,
it was going to be His year...

How and why?
Jer can try
not got the eye
aim for any
and hit sky  
why for all
who are sad
all bad and mad
let you all
run out and fly

Tied to his wrist like a kestrel
twenty three years
numbed by longing
you only exist
dreaming of freedom and horizons
no arms length and stop
scared to take wing
soul beaten flat by his hammer fists
"I've got you now" his wedding vow

She just typed me a message
"Sleep now!"
So I will
She knows I am worried about tomorrow
should I go to Church or keep some distance
and I know she will say a wee prayer that I am ok
maybe mention it to her old man
"That plonker is worrying himself sick again!"
So to bed I go with a backbone injection
and I know that if I suffer from rejection
it is not the right Chuch for me
the Girls say,
God or Gods, they are in our hearts
not in dvds and collection baskets
We'll see what tomorrow brings..

Poor mad Bran sat at the edge of the well
scratching  and pulling at the stones
through days of cold and rain
summers blaze
whispering to himself words of no import
no-one understands this poor mad man
sat with his hound that never leaves his side
the people feeding and warming him when they could
a big man with no mind they said
but he had a smile for the children
and could cure a lame horse with a touch
then scratches at the stone and talk  again
at mid summer's eve he stopped talking and listened

On Midsummer's day he was gone
at lughnasadh he was found at the well
freshly healed wounds on him and the brave hound
and a girl-child with no voice to speak
but she could smile and sing of the sea
they took the girl to the great hall
but she came to sit each day at Bran's side
listening and singing to him in the evening
waiting for them to come for her

They came  at Imbolc
biting frost days wise women sensed them
creeping slow stained fields defiled by their foulness
the child is what they want
and some would quail and give her up
the women blessed her
set her upon on her horse
asked  for it to run it's small heart out

doors crashed, splintered wood
swords and spears flash and jab
evil tries to take her back
but she is gone and evil  must follow
hindered by men and their strength
women and their hearts and knives

Bran digs in the stones where he scratches
shouts to his hound "Guide Her back to the sea.."
drags the sword out from the rocks
where he has guarded it all these long years
then waits for evil to come
Iron-clad heavy, black steel and hate
ten spared the chase to bring terror and death
"You will all die..." their eyes flash
Yes, but not here, not today,  Bran's smile back..

Gone now leaving scarecrow corpses
nothing evil daring to come past
the wreck of bodies  he scattered
armour scales flew like ****** rain as he bites through
to their blackened hearts
then runs to the sea to meet fate and the coming change
he catches them at the strands edge
cold spume driven by the east wind
soaking the wounded dog and the horse collapsed
foam flecked, stricken, and the child who won't leave them

Thundering their hate an onslaught of rage
horses of the sea rise up and drag so many down
but a few keep on, the strongest ones
Bran sees them, He knows there is no hell
but these would take her somewhere worse
so he will stand alone and face their curse
He whispers quietly again to what flies above him
all these patient years they guarded and watched
he was the first to bring the cross to this wild land
but waited till now to show his hand

Swords and strength blood and wounds battling on
until even he is struck down,
Angel guardians silent watch his doom.
Broken spear driven through his chest
but still striving to live and save

The Great Dark One moves in to take the child
sneers, plots to soil and twist her to his will
the last one Bran could just not ****
but She looks up with gentle tears
"What would you have me do"? Asked this
child of the Elder Gods..
" Take me to your realm,
so I may be the darkest of all powers."
"No" says Bran,"With one final embrace,
I take you with me to heaven, with Christ's grace.."
Hugging him tight, Bran's death-spear kills two,
one forgiving one forgiven, as the weapon drives through

And the waves drifts slowly in washing the hurt from
child and beasts,  She drifts in the tide ,
horse now beside her playing in new form
guardian of the child of the sea,
who this Man of God She  Mourns
But the dog, strong again returns
to sit by the well and remember his master,
the coming of Mad Bran and the dawn
of the  Old God's passing.

Teachers? I'll give you ****** teachers!
There was a lazy old worm
dodged him most of the term
he would let you go home
if you bought him a tome
that stimulated  shedding of *****
another thought he was fine
but at lunch he would sup on red wine
of english he thought that I could do nought
and mocked me all of the time
another for boredomes sake
found a rule he thought he could break
smash the lid of a desk on a boy he detests
then tell him the  tears he does fake
then there was Mr pereira
how we wished he was fairer
never gave a toss 'cos he was the boss
but there was one even scarier
Red-Neck....
Big and crazy
very lazy
beat the ****
out of me with his mate
for reasons they found hazy
used the dap
I wouldn't cry
so they got
metre rulers
and they did try
the brass bit cut my leg
and ripped my trousers
bullying *****
which was lousier
all I did was come in late
was depressed and sick
and full of hate for school
but a good boy not a fool
scarred me a bit
ha! they were all full of ****
when I passed my exams
they resented it
Best days of my life?

DOWN WITH SKOOL.....

Campo Dorado, Blossom Hill,
Bardolino dark and still
Campo Viejo, Vino Tinto
and a nice wee glass to pour it into
computers make me drink my wine
logged on to friends and feeling fine
only drink when friends are there
otherwise I couldn't care......
less.....hic.

I was born out of a tunnel
the midwife found it a fight
I turned around and crept back up
wisty for the night
"who said I was to be moved?"
went through my baby head
"I am not yours to command
so I'll stay in here instead!"
Years have passed I'm out at last
in a time of stress and din
still like a child I fear the world
and yearn to climb back in.

I'm the happiest today that I've been in years
with a smile that stretches between both ears
don't quite know what's taking place
why am I so full of grace?
Got this ****** stupid grin
like a granny full of gin
want to hug my enemies
got none, sod it, hug the trees
got good news about my friends
tribulations at an end?
had so sweet a day of love
angels must be close above
waiting for things to go wrong
like a *** note in a song
perhaps a car will run me down
Christ I bet I'd wear a frown!
maybe hug a ****** killer
like a baddie in a thriller
pick axe through my happy skull
wouldn't notice I'm so dull
my face is like a happy elf
as if I've been touching myself
don't worry that is not my style
'cos God says *******'s vile
I'll settle for this pleasant feeling
it's so amazing leaves me reeling
friday might not match my mood
what if I am grumpy, start to brood?
So try to keep this jolly face
keep spouting poetry apace
soon enough I'll be back down
I'm just a sad depressive clown...:O)

I threw my old mobile into the river.
Read Alina's poem made me think
Walked down specially in the dark
not dressed for the frost so cold
full of numbers that matter no more
flew so far and skipped as it span
goodbye old **** life
meant to do this weeks ago
took the battery out to save the planet
thought  now the time was right
so put the mobile out of sight
still got my pink mobile in my hand
deleted some numbers from it
so now everyone on it has one thing in common
I can look at their number and think
I love you

Walking out into the night
no wind to stir the trees out of watchful quiet
silver-blue the ground frozen hard
water noise sounds clear masking distant men sound
cars and trucks and harshness
move through the wood move through time
nothing bad there tonight unless you take it
and we did not
bright distant stars share the sky with her
and most fade in respectful humility
and we wonder at our smallness
most are inside watching, warming, waiting
missing this and that makes us feel more keenly
the wonder as the ancient ones felt it
their blood is in our veins, their atoms in us and the ground
so they are part of us and our souls remember them
gaze at the moon the pole star the ice in the sky
light incense, toast the moon, scatter wine on the snow
blood red but nothing died here
something was born here
beneath the full moon

Nineteen texts and three phone calls
all in one day, my strength it drains away
persecuted her, hounded all these she said
what I say on deaf ears falls, take your pills
care for your kid's or lose them
He loves you
gave up his job to keep your kids at home...
"So , here is what you do,"
OK....?
"Take a mirror wash it with salt
look into your reflection and see her.
Slowly tell her how you feel,
that you cannot feed her your energy
that you want her to care for her children
be healthy, love him and do not drain me.
Wash the mirror with salt and a wee prayer."
It worked in one day, after five weeks of
crazy stress.
She is still Mad as a pie, stuggles on
we talk in church and on facebook
But don't mention the mirror spell in church
they will try and burn me
but it works every time so far...he he   :o)

My tummy hurts so bad
the loo's twelve feet away
but this poem is important
and pain won't have it's say
so I'll clench and type
no *** to wipe,
with poetry I'll play
but now the belly is swelling
my God I'm gonna blow!
inspiration is fading fast
my typing is too slow
take the bucket over there
jam it on my ****
**** forgot to drop my pants
oh I am a  nut!
Now the bucket's stuck so tight
don't think it will come off
will have to keep it on all night
and pray that I don't cough!
Cover every naked flame
turn off every socket
if there is the slightest spark
I'll shoot off like a rocket!

I went into the woods today
to feed the little birds
the squirrel in his little  drey
and the roe deer in their herds
went in feeling confident
walked out tired and grey
now I need some counselling
and this is what I'll say!
Those little ******* birdies
had set a trap for me
dug a hole with mickey the mole
they knew I would't see
fell right down
and bashed my head
they laughed so much,
thought I was dead
all they wanted was my seed
No! not my *****!
Oh, please take heed
the rabbits kicked earth into the hole
****** lagomorphs got no soul
except for hares
they are classier
even though
the females are sassier
I climbed back  out
the birds got miffed
"there is no doubt,
he must be biffed!"
so into the fray
they sent their trump
a ****** great stag
to give me a thump
spent ten minutes dodging round
running like a good'un
until I ran into a tree
solid and pretty wooden
"my sodding nose,
that ****** hurt!
I'm bleeding down
into the dirt!"
tough they told me
with their eyes
that tree will cut you
down to size!
I got away at half past six
how was purely luck
I fed the stag some weetabix
and he got hit by a truck
So now we're having venison
and gravy for our tea
and if I go to the woods again
I'll take some friends with me!

An E-mail came the other day
one man stood on another
I hope it wasn't seen
by his father or his mother
the one on top was smiling
with a gun over his head
the one beneath had staring eyes
perhaps because he's dead
Greetings from Afghanistan
my buddies e-mail went
a Christmas gift for you back home
to hell this man I sent..
I gave my friend some army gear
and clothes  to keep him dry
now he's killing people
and making mothers cry
should have given him a conscience
and love for fellow men
I hope he reads this poem
and he doesn't **** again

So many lies from her to me
please don't tell him I'm pregnant
I was ***** she told the clinic
and me
the baby seems big for three months.....
but clinics get money for this
and charities give grants
they don't ask too many questions
6 hrs crying and screaming
till they chopped it up and ****** it through
a young doctor panicking
haven't destroyed one this big before have you you ****
took a long hooked thing to really mess the wee thing up
I saw it's dead eyes in the pan
her dead eyes
half-open and in a silent scream
where is the ******* dad? The nurse whispered..
somewhere ******, I said, I'm just her pal.
Dad didn't want a small thing in his life
my hands bled from her nails
and this felt right
my heart bled despair for her and the mess in the pan
took her home in a taxi suspicious eyes on us, huddled smelling of sweat and blood, no clean-up
she wanted to stay as soiled as she felt

Year later in another room
couldn't *** she wouldn't let me leave her
got a urinary infection holding on
longer this time
thirteen hours of pain and fright
no-one seemed to care again
on a trolly in the cold where is the magic
where is the ******* dad? A nurse whispered..
somewhere ******, I am just her pal.
twisting my hands
she bit my face wanting a kiss as she pushed so hard
the midwife dropped him halfway up her belly
I dragged him to her face
let go the doctor shouted
told him to shut up or *******
got yellow baby **** and blood in my mouth
wanted doctor blood too
tasted sweet somehow tasted of alive
took 83 sedatives that night  her sister found me in ICU
hard to die swap me for the wee dead one
I'm ****** she would have been special saw her face

She would have been 14 yrs old today

A woman telt me good today
"why do you look so feckin' gay?
Yer a bonny lad an' no mistake
but yez look like up yer doup ye' take!"
Now Scots women don't tend to be too soft
before I came here I would have scoffed
but being telt at point blank range
is kind of nice but very strange
Pointing, poking and checking my teeth
inspecting my body above and beneath
shaking their heads and whispering "oh,
the poor wee boy, disnae' he know?
Our women don't like your poems of poo
an' each of my girls is starker than you,
if they was to woo ye, you'd wintle all day
a scraich an'a scriegh you'll be sklented away!"
So quietly here in my flat I will hide
from the women who are making me so terrified.
A handful take pity and treat me quite well,
but I' m blate, buggert an' libbet the rest will all tell!

Saw a hare today so close I heard it breathe
ran straight by me then looked back
showing me how fast it can run
faster than anyone
follow me if you dare it's eyes shone
orange ringed bright speed and light
she won't hide and she won't fight
she'll just run
fastest thing in her fields
spring comes soon
dogs and guns
she'll keep running

Eating food is an easy thing?
Smug you shovel your food in!
Some of us are not so sure
eating for me has many a flaw
un-plug the oven, my chicken stays raw
could write you many a touching ballad
of how I tripped and fell in the salad
fell asleep when I was pooped
slumped into the bowl of soup
just was a complete disgrace
hot pizza stuck to my pale face
sitting here mouth is stinging
laughter soon I will hear ringing
got to dash, think I broke my leg
thought it was safe to boil an egg.

Motorcycles are fickle things
fleeting as fairies with whizzing wings
don't always work when you want them to
sometimes faultless sometimes poo
mended mine again today
set fire to it as well but hey,
it goes again and kinda smiles
waiting for the happy miles
we do together in the sun
this winters frost has been no fun
My men's bits froze to popcorn size
don't ride in the snow, so say the wise
so wee and slow it won't go quick
been so cold it's made me sick
but got no licence for my car
and my bike though slow gets me quite far
got the car test coming soon
easier to touch the moon
worry so if I will pass
maybe I should offer up my ***?
do the examiner ****** favours
or pray to the lord my only saviour
Hmmm my **** is not so cute,
and prayer is such a selfish route
I'll settle for a mournful wail
when the examiner tells me "Jeremy.. FAIL!"

Sleeping pills are kicking in
but one last poem still to spin
having too much fun to go
but drugs are saying "no, no, no."
What a special day this one has been
all the lovely folk I've seen
and on this site for such good fun
such a laugh from everyone
poetry is like a vent
for me it is like heaven sent
keeps me going when I'm down
helps to lighten up my frown
tonight I'll have a great big smile
keep it there for quite a while
so tomorrow if the day is tough
poems will save me soon enough.

Spoke to a friend the other day,
a wonderful, talented songwriter
who warms hearts and is so loved.
"If you can write heart felt poetry,
Jeremy, then any woman will wilt,
and melt into your arms."
Sooooo........
What about my poems on poo?
Up inside my ***, that too?
The drivel I write when I'm depressed?
Or feel sorry ones written 'cos I'm repressed?
Got some weird ***** in my head
much of it best left unsaid
One day if I find myself a girl
who sends my heart into a twirl
honestly all that I would plead
is she hasn't the ability to read

Crunching over the surface,
the bold warriors go
wave after wave of custard
will not fill the men with woe
rhubarb in abundance
doesn't slacken their resolve
any sprinkled sugar
with their sweat they will dissolve
though relentlessly they battle on,
the end it will come soon
"for heaven's sake men,mind the ****** spoon......."

A weird yellow car rammed a crane in the storm
the best  I could think of to try and perform
I know it is lazy, poetically weak
but my poems today are well short of my peak.
If I had more time  epic tales would appear
of knights fighting  dragons with  sword and with spear
sadly to say nothing great in my head,
so I've gone and put down all this ******* instead.

Spurned, spurned
my fingers burned
all these years
nothing learned
caught out when
my back was turned
yet again my
stomach churned
all this treatment
was it earned?
All I did was
touch your belly
now I'm shaking
legs of jelly
got a smack
in the chops
sore face
tear drops
got my head
in a whirl
thank God you're
a cat and
not a girl!

Got some hair upon my head
looks ok some girls have said
but if I stoop or look right down
wallop my bright gleaming crown!
A heli landing pad she says
and laughs at my next grumpy gaze
well knit me a wig, or maybe a hat
or cover it with a piece of mat!
We do felt making that could work
no I would look a ruddy berk....
Colour it in with a magic marker
do my grey so I go darker
Stop it all I've had enough
hirsutism proving way to tough
stick with what is clinging on
enjoy what's left before it's gone!