A cat came into my dreams last night
a great big ginger beauty
but instead of curling up
he lashed his tail all snooty
"I saw you thursday night"
he said, with a tear-stained muzzle
he wasn't pleased at all with me
but why? Wow what an awkward puzzle
"Haggis in your arms, that's what!
How dare you do this to me?
there's only space for one of us
upon your boney knee.
That lad is such a fighter
he chases me all day
he bites my **** till it is plucked
I try to run away!
Ok I sometimes taunt him
push my **** into his face
but understand you silly man
your lap is Vincents place!
Room for us both? That is not true!
Remember my huge belly.
Balancing me upon those legs
Is like juggling a jelly!
I know I snuggle up with him
when it's cold and mum's not there
but already Haggis is snuggling dad
I almost have to swear.
So keep away my skinny pal
from my naughty feline rival
'cos the battle to keep your lap for me
is like the struggle for survival!"
Hmmm..he has a point I guess
he was a wee bit worried
that Haggis causes him so much stress
I think he'd have him curried!
I  see them snuggle on the bed
and butter wouldn't melt
I know if Haggis comes to me
Vin will give me a belt!