sometimes, i stand back.
and i look at myself as a stranger might see me.
and i am forced to realize that maybe i do a little too much.

i take on the problems of everyone around me.
i face their demons as if they were my own.
i make myself responsible for all those who i love.

it's kind of funny in retrospect.
i work so hard to keep everyone alive,
yet i have so little regard for my own life.

like if i disappeared, what would it really matter?
but in truth, if i was gone,
who would take over my role in so many lives?

i cannot ignore pain as most can.
i cannot see you hurt and just walk away,
i am compassionate and i am selfless.

and i believe that it may be killing me.
because not only do i feel my own depression,
i feel the depression of fifteen of my closest friends.

i drown over and over and over again.
today i was okay, every tragedy of everyone i love at bay.
but then it struck again. at the person i value above the rest.

i feel the need to save everyone and anyone.
and i can never and will never accept that i cannot do that.
i will save them all, or die trying.

because i will face your demons,
i will take responsibility for your life,
and i will suffer right next to you.

*because i love you

You can be my inspiration
if you believe in me
I'll believe in you.
You can spark my creativity
with all your wonderful emotions,
whether they are sad or happy.
I won't stop you shining through
I know you can feel it too
so don't feel blue
or I will too,
so please don't cry
when people walk away
and others pass you by.
Don't forget to be you,
you're weird and that's awesome.
I just hope that someday
I can inspire you too.

this blessing
or curse
i do not know
for it grows and kills me
as I sprout toward the sun
the higher I climb
the sun scorches my leaves
l am alive still
climbing higher and higher
                                burning with every inch

The glass cracks before my eyes and I
admire the fractal patterns. Branching limbs
reaching for the edges, just to find them. Nails on
endless rows of fingertoes too short, too close,
too hurt. So hungry for an end
they forget to taste.

So soon we’ll suffocate.
But now will never breathe again.

Tomorrow we expire.
But now already has.

Forget the next. It’ll still come.

As long as there’s no tomorrow, we can
rise to enjoy the fall. Smile before the reasons flee.
Abandon all perspective. Escape causality.
Dance with silence before it shatters.

*(from ArsenalOfWords.com)

There will be a time
when the entire realm of freedom
will evaporate into the night.
Fire will rage through your land of mirth,
Wisdom will shake hands
with the ruins of
your last, very personal encounter
in bed...


An entire generation is swaying...
Swaying unto the horizon of
knowledge.
A deep despair
of a dissatisfied, demoralizing death.
Death will speak to you
even in the processions you take part...
Even when there is a ray
of sunlight creeping through
the cracks of time...
It will smile to you like
a warm, friendly hand.


I do not speak of love
It is out of the box of my comprehension.
Or apprehension.
But oh my brother!
I wait for the sign love carved on the guitar...
I will stare at the clouds
and wait...
I will look out for the
poets of other worlds
to leap into my soul...


I prefer darkness to light,
and the night to the day
for the night brings me
my Moon...
I can hide my true self in its realms...
If you look upon me
O dear sweet night,
bring m the time when
the world, so bright in itself,
will need no light.


I shall not rest
till the night provides
light to all...
Though political,
yet philosophical
will be the times...
and till that day
arrives
When Freedom shall plant
a sweet kiss
upon my lips.
And then my wretched soul shall
rest in the arms of Death
And travel onto a happier world
and
wait...wait...wait...