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Desperation smudges the
window pane of my soul,
so I reach for my
Existentialist Windex.
Squinting, the ammonia
forces me to consciously
relax my upper lip—
so it doesn’t curl
in disgust.
But the sting of knowing—
no amount of wiping,
no matter how I
scrub, or sanitize, or sand,
sand and sand and sand—
sand down to molten heat,
let saline liquid cool sand
into glass—
it’s still just transparent;
transparent enough to watch
myself,
reflected,
listening to the
hollowed whining
of circles smeared
into the same old smudge.
Patron of all my Saints,
Cosīn to my sīn,
Right angled with angels.
St. Michael--tell me where to go.
I love you like Songs of Song---
Felt all of your love play with the entropy of existence---
Entangled---
Ecclesiastic: turn, turn, turn.
Time—entropied away.
Justice hikes her skirt
to swing ox-bowed legs
onto the gallow plank.
Eyes wide open, covered
not with a blindfold, but
a bag over her head-
hands-bound and weightless.
The bottom drops out.
I invite you, Water.
Douse this searing fire.
Quench what is scorched.
Soothe what is cauterized,
picked raw, and researed
in the heat of forgetting.

Let scabs decompose to mud.
Let me be Earth--
steady, grounded, whole.

Yet I am Wind,
caught in flame,
lifting embers before they cool,
scattering what was,
before it settles into dust.
If only I could be Light,
but I am dense,
weighted by the matter
of the fact--
reality is duality,
all happening simultaneously,
never,
and strung out into infinite emergence.

If only I could be Light,
but I’m a heavy chord,
wound round and round
so tightly...
Brutal, brutal reality--
Yin-yanging eternally.

And here I am--
Light,
Specter of the Holograph,

Double Helixed,
Doubled-Bound,

If only I could Matter
while being Light.
I am a drop of entropy
- a globule in freefall.
Entropy collecting inwardly,
anti-mergently crashing inward
into nothingness
towards eternity.
Nothing new under the sun?
Earth spins, seasons change.
We, too, can shift our Presence.
Quantumnal Equinox,
Aurora Corporealis.

Terra, Luna, Sol,
Astra, Zeno's, Gravitas.
Quantumnal Equinox,
Aurora Corporealis.

Vernalgo Ostara Solsystem,
Rubra Verdi Viola,
Esse Iam; Sum Es Sumus,
Vernunc Corporealis.

Earth spins, seasons change.
We, too, can shift our Presence.
Quantumnal Equinox,
Aurora Corporealis.
*original 1st two stanzas posted March 6
*2nd two posted for spring 2025
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