How I wish I could grow up.
The lines I perceive as mature understanding.
Crumble under their critical eyes.
And they are right: no lies,
Justice is not in my favour.

How I wish I could grow up.
Be sophisticated, beautiful, kind.
Upright, strong willed, as she is.
But I am I, in my awkward grace,
And it is not to be.

How I wish I were alive.
Immune to frivolous banter of all sorts,
Breathing in the air of each moment I live,
Sharing everything I have to give,
Laughing, crying, hurting wholeheartedly.

How I wish I were memorable.
The girl who helped us all, our friend.
She’s within reach, yet in an unchanging abyss,
I’m almost there, but I always miss
Her; Standing in front of the mirror.

How I wish I had control.
Over my emotions, my thoughts,
Insecurities, fears, doubts, concerns,
And on my heart, every little burn,
To be able to resist temptation.

How I wish I was understood.
Scouring eyes would find me, inside.
Solve the puzzle; fix it;
The pieces, together, a perfect fit;
And it would be duly appreciated.

How I wish I could grow up.
Move with integrity, honesty, frankness,
A fiery mix of pain, friendship and love.
Ravishing; stunning; exquisite;
And the phoenix would rise from the ashes.

Far within my mountain
lies a tiny pretty rose.
But no one knows,
how this little flower still grows
for its home is deep inside my mountain
where no sol ever shows.

Surrounded by stone
covered in snow.
So treacherous a place
few ever walk.
Those who have,
they shake the earth
For my mountain is frightened
it tenses, it shakes.
And my little flower breaks

I find myself in the crowds of Central Park
The trees look taller than last time I was here
I’ve never been to New York

I’ve shed at least 54 tears in the last 12 minutes
I count them as they drop
Like seconds ticking off my clock
I can’t wait for tomorrow because
Maybe then I’ll feel better

The grass is green under the snow
I dug down to make sure
It took me 33 minutes to touch bottom
The grass was dead
It hasn’t seen the sun in at least 3 weeks

Maybe it is safer to be alone
I know for sure it’s easier to be alone
At least it was when I didn’t know what good company felt like
Now I can’t even read without feeling eyes over my shoulder

I don’t fit in here or there because of my odd mentality
I’m not mental, but my thoughts will soon be detrimental
I take a shower to feel better – it didn’t work
I go on a run - I didn’t make it back

I finally wake up; still crying
6 feet under and my heart finally calms
The dirt is fresh on my palms
I dig my own grave over and over

I am forgotten,
As my footprints
melt
in the snow.

My teeth
Strolling along the beach of your lower lip
Tongues
Swimming in saliva waves,
I swim to you
Like Baywatch
Watching you
Is like announcing a severe weather alert
Urgently advising to take shelter
There's a storm on the horizon.
Clouds accumulating in your eyes
And
Precipitation down pouring between my thighs

those eyes

When clouds collide
The thunder transforms me.
Boom
Boom
Boom
My rib cage shatters.
Claws secured around your head
Fingers knotted in your dreads
Dragging you down, down
I want you to drown
Drown
I want you to struggle
To scream out in vain-
Your lips caress each syllable of my name
Like lightening.
Like lightening
The sunshine in your smile reminds me that
Naturally, the skys are blue
Meteorology eyes
Do you wonder too,
If the forecast will always be sunny?

I sit, legs crossed, hands at my side,
Breathing, staring at the sky.
A tear escapes, rolls down my cheek,
They wipe it away, tears are weak.
They paint a smile on my face,
Hurry, fast, it’s all a race.
Final touches, fix my hair,
Knife and fork, it’s time to share.

They hoist me up, upon the plate,
Spread my arms and spread my legs.
Carry me up above their heads,
And place me next to the butters and breads.
The men devour me with their eyes,
I scream, my body can tell no lies.
And as I scream, my voice - it shouts,
My private thoughts, my fears, my doubts.

They gag me, tie me up in wire,
Throw me, throw me in the fire.
And as my clothing, and my skin,
Are peeled away, I see; they win.

I watch them feast from high above,
It was never me, it is the meat they love.
They toss my bones to the dogs below,
And prepare themselves for the second show.

Walking around,
Utterly oblivious.
Everyone loves you,
Everyone understands you.
Open yourself up, be true.
Crashing realization: Their gaze is only skin deep.
Stitch yourself up,
Smile,
Life goes on.

How far do you want to push this,
How far do you need to act like this to show him you don’t care,
How far are you gonna make him feel bad,
Far enough to where he ends it,
He leaves you forever,
Not turning around,
Never saying good bye,
Just a lonely life ahead of you,
How far do you have to pick on someone before we all lose them?
Why would you do that?
How come we just can’t get along with each other?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why does that one person deserve all the pain you put them through,
The words you say to them stick in there heads forever,
Never leave them,
Even after they leave us,
They might not show you that it hurts,
But they do hurt,
We are all people and we have feelings,
So why don’t we stop this,
Before we find out how far,
How far is.
Cassidy Pratt