I think of you
the same way
modern society thinks of hygiene.
You are severely undervalued by most
and eternally needed.

The beginning of the year was along time ago,
its nearly time for a new beginning
to the next year.
You say you weren't sure of a future with her,
now, and then
Could that be because ups and downs are like merrigorounds,
an endless cycle for which we never prepare.

Someone ridiculous once told me if your not sure then don't get into something your not entirely sure of,
suppose the rumor skipped your ear
or you will to hear.
But either way i feel
that's not the case here.

You once were sure,
of your feelings for her
so sure you thought up a future with her.
Life became a whirl
and put these two girls in a swirl
Through in: endless possibilities,
complexities
and free will for lease.
Do you understand this Miss,
do you see.

We feel the low of this unbearable load
because our love is a matter of fact.
The loss of a love was never meant to be taken well.
This is a lesson for me too
as i realize it was never her, only you.
In reverse its a curse
for me, without you is a future for two,
i am nothing to loose.

I am nothing but the other path, a possibility of miss because you chose Lizz,
You chose her before i ever walked on by
but that doesn't make me feel blue
because i will always love you.

Explaining myself seems pointless at this time,
but i will make a point.
"So yea",
I'll tell you that somewhere along the lines
a phobia was installed inside of me
Of which i was unaware of,
yet still bear.
I didn't know it to be this great,
until it proved to be a challenge of late.
It makes me incapable of seeing the point in commitment,
yet it outlines the defects of the means to commit, so naturally i still see it to be the pits..
The one thing in life i never wanna stop;
is to try.

My heart may seem big,
but really i think it has it in for me,
its no longer as strong and youthful as it once was.  To love ONE in the more romantic sense
is the inclination of my hearts manifestation.
Did i want something more with you??
Yes, I'm afraid i did,
but was to ashamed to admit it,
even to me.

One of the many things i dislike in life is decisions, because i never know where to start.
I understand that you're left feeling apart,
so I'm taking an option from you
so that there is nothing to choose,
nothing to lose.
I'm going to take me from you.

I'll be like a pet, the one you've left to dwell amongst the Dead.
You'd still be left with all your memories
but nothing to touch when it all gets to much.
I'll be there for you in thought
but i refuse to apologies for cutting us short.

How does it feel to be alone,
You ask.
It feels like my entry and exit to this dimension, filled to the brim with emotion and tension.

Its just past midnight
And the scent of you lingers
Caught in my hair
And my chest, where you laid your head
Smelling of lavender
Pure beauty
And as  I light my last cigarette
I look up towards the heavens
And ask why in the world
You couldn't be mine

i share my name with a hurricane
how fitting

a set of bruised shins in running tights
who can't get much of anything right
and still hasn't remembered where she set her drink

that's me

i sometimes think they should've named me tiffany
or brittany
or stephany
something pretty and normal

maybe then i would have been a ballerina
instead of just a mess
in a second-hand dress

sometimes i swear
the wind calms when i laugh
and the thunder cracks
when i finally let go
and let myself fade
back into the sky that shaped me

i make it rain


some things never change
not names
or headstones
or birthdays

and some things always do


the sky shifts slightly
setting a yellow kite to sail
and a pair of hawks to soar

maybe they named the storm after me
so that i could see
how beautiful turbulence can be

maybe i just wasn't looking right

besides
a rose by any other name
wouldn't seem as special

The rain would usually bother me
but today I'm tired
and sickness and intoxication are both wearing off
so each little droplet does nothing to phase me
from my half awake daydreaming state
staring into others faces,
just aware enough to turn when they turn.
Most days I would study each line-
the smiles, the wrinkles, the way their hair parts
just trying to understand each of them.
Today I'm looking just to look at something moving
so I don't look at the concrete
and fall asleep, bored.

The three other classes on this end of campus
are each let out early
and file through this bottleneck
quietly enough that I only notice the last few as they walk by.
She looks up from the ground and sees me.
Saying nothing, she smiles in a way that makes me wonder if she's looking past me,
I look, there's nothing there.
I smile back for a second, as well as I can.

Later I catch her smile again from a crowd in the hall.

I stop for a second,
not physically, I keep waking.
but, I keep my eyes there, smiling.
she's already looked away, so I don't worry.
It comes harder to me today- studying a face,
and her's is one I've never been able to figure out,
so I give up and keep walking.

Am I a friend to her,
or something more?
Am I what I wanted to be
years ago-
A thought in her head before she falls asleep?

Or am I just broken because I think this hard about a simple smile?

Oh, what I would give
To just, kiss those sweet lips
Or to
Feel her soft skin under
My calloused fingertips
And the shaking of her small hips
The pressing of her tight hands
On my sparrow chest

My God
It’s delicious. . .

The skin of her neck
Matches that
Of the skin
On her thighs
It is smooth and reflective
Just as the naughty night.

Is one kiss enough,
To bring this to life?

Or should we walk
Hand-in-hand?

And disappear into only
Into the moon's sight. . .

I've watched as my leaves changed
from emeraldgreen
to jaundiceyellow
and tumbled from their blood vessels,
for my body could no longer support them.

I've witnessed petals descend from blossoms:
a flowergirl tossing the colors into the air
to pave the way for a father to let go of a daughter.

I gazed at buildings and bridges
buckle at their knees
as cornerstones and foundations fail-
Atlas crumbling under the Celestial Sphere.

I've seen many things fall.

But I've never gazed upon a girl,
fear as heavy as millstones
eclipsing her overcastgrey eyes,
ghostwalk off a ledge,
waving a whiteflag
as she plummeted to the ground like a bomb.

We are all young
at some point in our lives
and we are all older at another point
in our lives and we all go through
that time in between
and some are what they buy
and what they are sold
as some just exist while doing
nothing in their lives
except growing old.

Some succeed at whatever they do
because Daddy's money will
see them through
as some fail at everything they touch
while there are those who don't
ever do too much
as they just sit there and don't really care
if they ever win or lose
because they never get
to choose.

Some of us go through life
happy all of the time
while others just frown because
they get tired of being the clown
and being held down
because of the way they look
or because they can't
read a book.

Some are born with strength
and speed and can usually
take the lead in whatever
they try to do while others
just sit around and cry
and wonder why nothing ever
comes their way
as they keep thinking
maybe someday.

Each generation is different
but in realty the same as they each
try to make a name for themselves
but in the end we are all so much the same
as we all try to play the same game
of survival with nothing changing
except the tools which we have to use,
the time, the place and the face
of those caught up
in the race.

The one constant is love
with the only thing changing
is how much one is prepared to give
and how much one
is willing to receive and of course
how much you let yourself
believe in as you realize
that everything is different
but nothing  changes.                                             Jon York        2013

One girl kissed me in the morning,
A woman had by noon,
But Lady only gazed by dark,
And did not kiss so soon

The girl's kiss was lost in jest,
And the women's lost in play,
But the kiss in my Lady's eyes
Will haunt me everyday.