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Yanehs MagTa Oct 2013
Is it me you think of when you’re with him?
Try and repeat the memories only we knew how to share
Do you hope one day he’ll be a bit more like me
In his shadow I know you look for me
When I see us looking back at me, it hurts more then when you chose him over me

I cry tears just for you, this is agony I can’t believe we end in tragedy.

I wonder sometimes if we could ever mend the pieces we tore at.
It bores my heart how sore it is for you.

Come and find me!!
Pull me from the roof top, like you knew best.
I long so deeply for the person you once were
If she’s still there
Tell her to come for me,
Save me from my sorrows
I want to see tomorrows with you

When his there to chase a way your lonely blues, is it me you wish he would be.

I listen to the silence that haunts my heart, and I want our freedom
Hold my hand for a while; sit with me in the dark
Hold me tight like we’ll never ever part.

I miss you, but I resist you.
Is this the beauty of our end?

I hope one day you loose your way and it drives you to me.

I’ll love you forever.
Your former best friend
Yanehs MagTa Oct 2013
You told me
you wanted to give me
Every part of you
Once up on a reel of time,
I felt the real you,
Every time I looked at you,
under all our lies.
I fell in love with you,
I am in love with you,
I love you.

You told me
Stringing along was not my part
But the words leaked out your face
I saw them stream into your ears
Tickle your nerves,
the hairs on the back of your neck stood out…
Were you trying to convince yourself

We shared something beautiful
something amazingly tragic,

I spoke to the divine once begging for enlightenment
Vowing I’d sacrifice anything
to be indulged, by divine intervention,
but you, I don’t know how I’d sacrifice you,
or maybe I do.

I’m departing in June, at noon,
I told you.
I saw the beginning of your blue,
How it grew.

Here’s a secret
One just for you
I’m leaving sooner..
Thanks to you,
Don’t feel bad, heck I know I can’t stop the sad .
Be mad,
go crazy
rip our memories to shreds
pick them up and glue the pieces
store them away
for when your at wits end
Do what you do best, all over again.

I hope to fall in love again,
To be the other, to another.
Not a brother, sister or lover.
I want to be the loved.

You told me
she was a woman you loved , dearly
and then called me one too.
I can't sit by
while you figure out what you want.
From me,
From life,
From her
I'm going to have to go places.

Don’t want me,
I think it’s best you never find me
I’ll be the blind to your minds eye
If you blink hard enough
I’ll be here,

Enjoy a life worth living,
Yanehs MagTa Feb 2013
The beginning of the year was along time ago,
its nearly time for a new beginning
to the next year.
You say you weren't sure of a future with her,
now, and then
Could that be because ups and downs are like merrigorounds,
an endless cycle for which we never prepare.

Someone ridiculous once told me if your not sure then don't get into something your not entirely sure of,
suppose the rumor skipped your ear
or you will to hear.
But either way i feel
that's not the case here.

You once were sure,
of your feelings for her
so sure you thought up a future with her.
Life became a whirl
and put these two girls in a swirl
Through in: endless possibilities,
and free will for lease.
Do you understand this Miss,
do you see.

We feel the low of this unbearable load
because our love is a matter of fact.
The loss of a love was never meant to be taken well.
This is a lesson for me too
as i realize it was never her, only you.
In reverse its a curse
for me, without you is a future for two,
i am nothing to loose.

I am nothing but the other path, a possibility of miss because you chose Lizz,
You chose her before i ever walked on by
but that doesn't make me feel blue
because i will always love you.

Explaining myself seems pointless at this time,
but i will make a point.
"So yea",
I'll tell you that somewhere along the lines
a phobia was installed inside of me
Of which i was unaware of,
yet still bear.
I didn't know it to be this great,
until it proved to be a challenge of late.
It makes me incapable of seeing the point in commitment,
yet it outlines the defects of the means to commit, so naturally i still see it to be the pits..
The one thing in life i never wanna stop;
is to try.

My heart may seem big,
but really i think it has it in for me,
its no longer as strong and youthful as it once was.  To love ONE in the more romantic sense
is the inclination of my hearts manifestation.
Did i want something more with you??
Yes, I'm afraid i did,
but was to ashamed to admit it,
even to me.

One of the many things i dislike in life is decisions, because i never know where to start.
I understand that you're left feeling apart,
so I'm taking an option from you
so that there is nothing to choose,
nothing to lose.
I'm going to take me from you.

I'll be like a pet, the one you've left to dwell amongst the Dead.
You'd still be left with all your memories
but nothing to touch when it all gets to much.
I'll be there for you in thought
but i refuse to apologies for cutting us short.

How does it feel to be alone,
You ask.
It feels like my entry and exit to this dimension, filled to the brim with emotion and tension.
I am not the voice inside your head that is but your own drowned out scream. I am not the illusion you dream of some nights I am the protruding arrow you forced through your heart.
I refuse to fight for someone who will never be mine. Go on and enjoy your fairytale, because the character, this person me. She's out.
Yanehs MagTa Dec 2012
Look at me and see
See what i see?
What im meant to see.
see im crazy
or am i lazy
for i can not see
What is meant for me.
I don't see what is before me, to see
How can you see,
what im trying to see
when all we see
is what we  want to see,
but what remains to be seen
is only just a scene in the great blue sea  
filled with so much to see,
all of which can not be seen.

So should i shut my eyes before all the lies of this demise come for me...
Would you wait for me,
or would you save me.
I'd just leave me to be,
to frolic amongst the unseen...

Do we ever see what we're meant to see
or do we just see what we want to see,
I only see when i shut my eyes,
I see so many things like the spectrum of lies
the lies i tell...
The truest truths of what I've seen,

could you ever see what i see...
when i see myself
with eyes tightly shut
i belt to the ground
and pound
and pound
for all i see is the lies of truths
and the truths of lies
we're all just maggots to flies
oneday we'll all die.
But for now try and see, see everything you could never see.


see the fairies dance and sing
as they plot the scenes for the birds and the bees
and the trees they'll all grow to be green
and one day  we'll see,
we'll see the green of the trees leaves
and the leaves of the lives who have all passed,

Did you see me cry?
to the middle of my chins trembles.

For I've seen what i saw
and i couldn't stand it any more,
she saw
but didn't see,
did she see what i saw...
i saw them all bodies floating
i saw so many how could that be,
why couldn't they be saved,
was it because they misbehaved.
I don't want to believe
In truths or lies
i just want them all by my side
to have and to hold,
until we grow old.

Farewell little ducklings
you were born
and now i,
mourn the loss of your passing.

Your memory will be with me
until i understand what i was meant to see,
for now please loosen your grip on me
stop eyes from dripping and crippling me.
Rest in peace beautiful babies
Yanehs MagTa Nov 2012
Yesterday I cut myself, today I bleed tomorrow I die
What are regrets, but a heavy load to this burden….
Yesterday I cut myself, today I bleed tomorrow I die…*
Actions of the past influence the present and affect the future
Yesterday I was on the verge of cutting myself, today I would’ve bleed to death, tomorrow I awake.

**Dedicated to the emancipation of self mutilation.
Yanehs MagTa Nov 2012
-Time Is slipping by so quickly Nay!
-**Tis only because our minds are too preoccupied with the yesterdays and tomorrows, we lose sight of the right now, that moment of being here.
The present moment.
I understand that it’s so hard thinking of the now when the yesterdays and tomorrows taunt our mind, like vulture to corpse.

-Yanehs MagTa
Yanehs MagTa Nov 2012
We forget

We forget those things we said,
How we wouldn't share hidden space.
You're space
My space
Secret bed space...

With eyes clenched
Legs spread
Arms up ahead
strong forces leading you to my base,
You remove my lace
To caress my delicacy with your face

But how do we forget!?
how do we forget time lovingly shared
Forget about all the feelings barred
Forget  all the notes read

The wind she says i must for this is nothing,
But lust...
But how do i forget, when forgetting to forget is the only direction of my thoughts indiscretion

Have i failed to mention
the tension?....
My mind plays scenes that cause wobble to my knees.

"Please i yell, i want her to ring my bell!"
I want her ***** to grind against my groin.
i wanna be the keeper to her speaker...
I'll turn down the treble to feel her body's trembles.
I wanna be the assumption of her eruption.
The misconception of her detention.
The undetected of whom she's elected to spread her infectious pleasures, at our own leisure.
I wanna taste the treasure of her box, plot the scenes and dot dot dot

I'm sick of having to dine with her body in mind
When my eyes forever see her splendor would she dare render her body mine,
so i may dine amongst her divine beauty that protruds through my heart..

No! how dare i question this silly expectation of retardation.
This woman wants so much more of me, everything im to selfish to give.
Let and forget seems to be the polar opposite of the ridiculoisness of my wants and needs.

How do i forget!!!???
How do you forget!!??
What is it to forget the tragic magic of our secret love affair especially the intensity of moments barred.

... how do we forget... ??
The moment I let go of a quarter of my soul for the last time, was the worst yet the best thing I could have done for her
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