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i know a boy
who sits behind me
always tapping his pen
tapping
and tapping
fingertips spelling

i am anxious

i know a boy
who walks me to class
looks at me before I leave
his foot keeps
tapping
and tapping
and I keep waiting

for him to tell me goodbye
so I can go to class

i know a boy
who cannot stop

like a car alarm on
christmas morning

like police sirens
underwater

a boy
afraid of the pause
the rest, the wait, the halt
the slow motion of eyes meeting,
elbows accidentally touching
words becoming deep breaths,
hesitating instead

I know a boy
who is still a child

and over and over,
i loved him "still"
I can fake a smile.
I can pretend that I'm okay ....
but I'm only in denial.
My hearts been chained I've been imprisoned by shame..

I'm fine F for forsaken
I for insecure
N for neurotic
and E for EMPTY.

A few more ****
a couple more beers
and I'll be able to ignore my pain till Tomorrow
that doesn't change the fact that I'm Hollow.

Caught between empty sheets I lie
awake and think of a way so I can
drown in your tranquil eyes..

The grass will never be greener my heartstrings
tug at a brighter tomorrow.

A few more lonely nights a couple more mind numbing days
and I just might live to see the light without its enemy, sorrow.

Tears run down my cheek today my dear but I'll never blame
maybe tomorrow I'll learn to live without the pain....

Caught between empty sheets the monsters inside my mind
will surely haunt me ,the more the better all
I have to do is understand your honest letter...
 Oct 2013 Jennelle Rivera
inez
Do you remember when you gave me your hoodie
And then got angry at me for messing with the strings?

Do you remember when you gave me your chips
And then got upset at me for messing with the cutlery?

Do you remember when you gave me your phone
And then got frustrated at me for messing with the camera?

Do you remember when I gave you my heart
And then got angry at you for messing with my feelings?

I should have known

You never dealt well with change,

But you did **** well better than me.
It's hard not to love you
Your smile blankets my thoughts and colors my dreams
You make it easy to sleep easy
she persists in using other writers material
and incorporates it in her own compositions
she is sailing very close to the wind
as she doesn't request the copyright owner's permission

the day will come when she'll find herself in court
for copyright infringement
all states in America have laws regarding
this kind of impingement

just to-day she posted another work
passing it off as her own intellectual property
but there were lines and titles
which had been in hit songs of wide popularity

to date she has published on the internet
over a dozen of these compositions
and it will not be long in coming before the copyright owners
put her in the right legal position
NB: The web address immediately below is worth visiting...
http://www.wiley.com/legacy/authors/guidelines
/stmguides/ 3 frames.htm
 Oct 2013 Jennelle Rivera
jar
a few months ago,
you asked me: "What is love?"
As you can see,
it had taken me a long time to understand the question myself,
but I think I've finally come up with an answer.
Unfortunately,
the English language
has only one word to describe something that has limitless interpretations.
In Greek,
there are three words for the three basic types of love.
Eros;
lust.
This type of love
is when you find yourself doodling their name
on the inside of your history textbook,
dotting the I's with hearts
as if you are 13 again and you were just asked on your first date.
You chose that textbook
because it will be the only place no one would ever think to look.
You think about everything you would be far too shy to say or act in person,
making out in the back of a movie theatre
not caring who would walk past,
sneaking off away from your friends just to have two measly moments of what you both call "peace."
Most often,
this type of love is encased in "I love you"
only to obtain a certain goal.
Virginty,
a picture,
or even just one more night
of having them in your arms.
Eros is not authentic,
it is emphemeral.
Phileo;
Brotherly Love.
The friend you would drop anything for in a heartbeat to make sure of their wellbeing,
but also the neighbor you see from time to time watering their garden.
They ask you
to tend to their garden while they are away,
and you do it
even though you've never spoken more than a paragraph to the man
because it is what you believe is right.
This type of love is the devotion of time and energy without any promise of compensation in return,
purely out of the good of heart.
Phileo lasts as long as the people do.
The final type of love
is Agape;
unconditional love.
In religion,
we are guided
or pushed
towards showing this type of love towards the diety.
Yet, very rarely
it is shown towards a human being.
Unconditional love
is the ability to say so much with only uttering a single word.
I have experienced this love,
it is great pain
and great sadness
but the feelings of pain will never leave my lips
in case they are transferred to the person i wish to have the least pain.
This kind of love
is when it is not only enough that you think about them every waking moment but every slumber-filled one as well. You have hung up your needs at the front door along with the key to your heart and devoted yourself entirely to them,
even if they don't reciprocate.
They have been adopted by your body and taken the form of a vital *****.
If you do not
pay absolute attention
to them at all times
you will run into many problems.
You need to keep them running smoothly in order to stay alive and healthy,
because without them you are nothing.
You are a sorry sack of bones with a beating heart with no purpose.
Unconditional love is taking all the lessons you have ever learned
all the rights and wrongs you have finally learned the difference between and throwing them out the window.
It is the thin line between sanity and insanity,
heaven and hell,
and safety and danger.
You walk the rope
from building to building
without the promise of a net.
Unconditional love
is authentic,
but not emphemeral.
((Love *****, don't do it.))
Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house
casually.
 Oct 2013 Jennelle Rivera
Corinne
i'm restless
four hours till breakfast
and i smell the last of the tonic
wasted on her breath
instead of her bloodstream
i watch my mind fly away
still stuck on this pipe dream
while a slow sad song plays
in the background of my memories
i'm weighed in with only make up
caked in the cracks and crevices
in spite of this and my spitefulness
i'm still a *****
and i'm restless
out of billions i'm just a dust speck
so i'll fall out of my clothes
to watch you disrobe
and break a sweat
the window to your soul is not your eyes
it's under your shirt sleeve
it's the lust
disguised in your bloodstream
and i'm screaming
there's no honor among thieves
you must be dreaming
i sit in this space and wait
while the butterflies congregate
into my heart
instead of my stomach
where they belong
the weightlessness long gone
i'm just another twenty-something fatality
fighting a war
armed with only my shaken sanity
and i'm restless

— The End —