you've never known
the hell I've lived.
there is pain
beyond your wildest dreams
or perhaps it is a nightmare to you
but for me,
just one more day alive
means everything
and even though i am
screaming
crying
and dying,
at least i am still fighting.
so before you think
that i am weak
think of the pain
you simply cannot fathom

Beaten up
Torn apart
And glued together
Holding up
And holding in
Every single thing
Walked upon
I sit bruised
  Broken
Numb, Hollow
Void, Accepting
I have fallen
From the top
  of the world..

My minds all messed
I’m feeling depressed
All dragged out
Hearts screaming out
No one hears the pleas
No one hears the cries
The pleas of wanting good
Hoping some good will occur
The cries for the times
The times that once were
Good times
Used to be all mine
Now bad times
Is all I can find

I want to write for hours
but I know not of what.
Not of nightingales and blooming flowers,
but this state I'm in, this rut.

Who could leave these scars upon me thus?
scrapes, bruises, scratches and pus...
Not you, not them, nor them all
I am the reason for my own fall.

How do you begin the day
                        when the night never came to an end?

I think a dream
is more certain than life.
For when can I deem
life to really be true?

When in a dream
do I question its surety?
When does it seem
as if it is not real?

Dwelling in life
I am never so sure;
When I'm faced with strife
I ponder:  Is this real?

So how can I tell
which one is the dream?
Which is the spell
and which one is real?

In the end I remain
with a great sense of doubt,
no way to obtain
a reality.