You found
My heart
Beats faster
Beneath the weight
Of your body
On mine
Is all that
Keeps me
From flying
Away

Blood pulses
Through my
Veins beneath
Your skin
Soft
In
My mouth
Makes sounds
I’ve never
Heard before

Held breath
Anticipation
Curls in
My stomach
Can feel you
Pushing against
Me
Trying to
Push us
Together

“It’s okay”
Your lips
Are warm
Despite their lies
Because
You know
Tomorrow
We’ll still
Be falling
Apart

i crave the universe; it's expanses, outer reaches.
i want to drink from the big dipper, have my fill,
be merry.
escape with me, from the wicked pull of gravity,
leave this *****, scarred earth.
i want to inhale these scattered constellations;
exhale galaxies, nebulas.
i want to leave these silly material things behind,
we can leave ourselves in this beautifully infinite silence,
let the stars tell the stories of the great orion and cassiopeia.

leave your own footprints on the moon, on mars,
wherever you wish, starchild,
there's too much to see when you live in an
u n f a t h o m a b l e    e x p a n s e
staring into stardust,
staring into the roots of you,
of your creation,
of your nebula-blood.
your star-bones.

black hole in my chest,
please devour me; i can't stand
this sick emptiness

every chord
on the nylon strings
the g the e
the c the a
sounds so exultant
so content
it masks
morose and melancholy
lyrics and rhymes;
and yet everyone can make it
sound more cheerful than
i ever could
everyone can make it
everyone can make it—
except for me

but don't tell me I never tried
i tried my damnedest and I am
still ******* trying
i am screaming hallelujah
at the top of my lungs until
asthma beats me down
until my throat feels pricked
with needles
and i will continue to play the chords
of a song describing
a futility i feel in my bones
and i will try to make them sound
hopeful, ******

because i need this

For all intents and purposes we live in different universes

Life for Sale, it's as good as new!
Hasn't seen many years, only a few!
Last owner couldn't handle it,
She had a huge fit.
She yelled and cried and screamed,
A new life is what she dreamed.
So she gave up and put hers up for sale,
hoping her plan wouldn't fail.

Life for sale! Only seventeen dollars!
What deal! It's practically a steal!
I must warn potential buyers though, that there's some baggage that will be bestowed,
It isn't much, it's a small amount,
But beware, it will make you cry, shout and pout!
It's depressing, distressing, and it's worth confessing
That this life isn't perfect but it is a blessing.
Two parents, and a roof over it's head,
All that's missing is just a meal and a bed.

Life for sale! Seventeen dollars and ladies and gentlemen, this price isn't going any higher...wait,
What's that?
We have a buyer!

By then I'll have drowned
out my heartbeats with footsteps

There is this energy to it
all the dramas and he did that and so i did and said
and so did she and then...
it buzzes on and you cannot get any peace
and my parents lived like that and never payed any
attention to me most of the time
and it is a drug
it prevents you from sinking into yourself and your
fears, and it is exhausting
recognize the energy, that drug frenzy energy and know you
must just stop and be here
and breathe and calm your mind until it is a placid, loving lake
peaceful, yet alive and lively, with the reflections of the beauty
of world just here, in the moment, light reflecting off the mirrored surface

How long will you make me wait?
Twist the blade or try to ease it out.
Whichever you chose,
just do it already.
Stop standing over me, flaunting your power
and refusing to yield it.

Tell me when my faithful waiting turns into holding on too long.
Bring an end to this chapter, so I can justify my means.
Take your chivalry and go.
Take your morals and store them next to my blue earrings and the lily from my hair.
Take your guilt and rest your head on its lap while you drift off.
Take your duty and teach it to line up a shot.
Take your 'right thing' and tell it I am wrong.

Leave me unrequited, just light a fire beneath me when you go.
Give me names to scream at your back,
and a reason to slam the door behind you.
Leave me angry and fuming, let me hate you
and be glad you're turning your heel.
Tell me you didn't understand me at all.
Tell me you didn't see every part of me.
Tell me you hated the way my eyes looked at that little girl
Tell me that you lied.
Tell me you tell everyone your secrets.

Or call me again.
Call me and say you're sorry.
Say you called because you couldn't stay away.
Say you made promises to want to keep.
Say forgiving you doesn't make me weak.
Say you're trying
and say someday,
somehow.
Say you love me too.
Say you want to ease this blade out of me.

Or dear God, please just twist it.