Take me to the hospital
I think im overdosing
I couldn’t take it anymore
Good thing they diagnosed me.

He lied there and cried from those pills
Thought if he died he'd be something real
  
Scars are not always visible
Beaten with words, never felt so invincible
He’s quiet but, his mind is screaming
Tried to figure it out, life has no meaning
They all say its a phase he'll be better soon.
In reality he never was, now what do they do?
_
Chorus
  
Nobody takes him seriously
Some kind of conspiracy
When they find out
It will be too late
You cant stop
The constant beating
Of self hate
_
Give him a chance to speak
Give him a break from everything he’s seen.
If no one picks him up  
He will forever be in our dreams
No more reality
Life just isn't what it seems
  



Another pill popper, a maniac, a **** smoker, addicted to crack.
When they’re gone you can't bring them back  
The state he’s in its caring he lacks
No one gives him confidence so,  
He slacks and he slacks.
No job to pay the bills, just a drug dealing act
You can't make money when you ingest all the profit.
When its too late there's no way to stop it
_
chorus  
  


Nobody takes him seriously
Some kind of conspiracy
When they find out
It will be too late
You cant stop
The constant beating
Of self hate


_
  
He was too young, and it was too soon.
He can't fix what he already consumed.
Sitting all alone in his room.
He was satisfied.
For that one moment he felt alive.
He said he'd be happier if he died.
  
Yes we cried but, we all moved on
  
For people like him, I wrote this song

I am not scared and I will be strong. I’ve been lonely for ten years and now, I can see what has been gone. I am taken to a different place, far from home. The plane took me high and soared until things got low. I walked down the hallway of doom and distress. This wouldn't be a problem if he had never left. Walk into a room thats plain yet, engaged in activity. A conveyor belt and tags that say names, scrambled in my mind going their separate ways. I tell myself to focus and find my bags from here. The voices and the noises distract me, nothing has been clear. I see my name as nauseous as I can be. My stomach has taken a turn on me.


I find my bag and look around my vision is blurred and I can not hear a sound. I see his face threw the sea of people. Wearing the same flannel sweater he had ten years ago. He dominates the atmosphere with his torn up pants and his messed up hair. He looks the same but his hair is receding. His face is drooped down like paint that just won't dry. He grew tall but skinny like a plant that has withered. His face is pale but his eyes are rich brown. He has a genuine smile with teeth that had fallen out.
  
I walk up to this man I haven't seen in years we looked at each other and, we burst out in tears. Even though I don’t know him, I remember his face. From ten years passing by I’d imagine he's changed. He use to be plump and his face well rounded now it looks like he had been beaten by thoughts and loneliness. I can tell when he seen me his life already got better. He couldn’t stop talking like he was gone for forever. I talked right back to him because, I know how it feels.

I look back on all the years without him and realized we feel the same. The difference is he made the choice of being alone ,I had no need to be left. I felt lost my whole life, until he came back. Lost from what I can’t quite figure out. I just needed to feel the feeling of him being around. We walked out the crowded place and, went on from there. No one really changes, he still smelled like beer. You think someone would give up the little things for something so big. I left a couple days after, and haven’t seen my dad since. He chooses to be lonely and, I still suffer from it.

Break all the lies and shoot them out with pain.
Throw a frag its the name of a grenade.
Dont be a noob.
Show off ur skill.
Free for all gives me a thrill.
**** all the fgs while they sit there and camp.
Put on your gameface and look around.
Dead mans glitch, ill just lay on the ground.
Get a nuke and call it the game.
watch the other team sulk in shame.
Hey look a friend request.
who is this fg.
They seen your a girl it doesnt matter if ur bad.
add+add+add+:)

I'd die for you.
You would'nt even fight for me.
I'd cry for you.
You wouln't even lie for me.
I'd catch a bullet for you.
You would still be living life free.
I'd lay awake all night for you.
You wouldnt even dream of me.
I never gave up on you.
You gave up on me....

The window was my television
The carpet was my bed
The only thing I looked forward to was you coming in
I couldn't care about the food or how comfortable I was
All I could care about was hoping you'd come home
I'd cry and I'd cry
But it didn't do much
I yelled at anyone who came in my path
Because, it wasn't you.
I'm tired of this window
This carpet needs to be cleaned
My stomach is empty
I have nothing to eat
I was worthy to you
Your not worthy to me
A mans best friend
But a friend doesn't leave
And never come back.
Rip to me
The dog
You didn't care about

Dark days and brighter nights.
Why do we wake, when it doesn't feel right?
Can we go to sleep when the sun rise?

A bunch of people living an unnormal life.
Lets have dinner first and breakfast last.
Lets spend more time then we do cash.
Can we drive on the streets when their empty, not full.
Lets make this bitter life, not so dull.

lets wear sox but, not shoes.
Get use to the ****.
Find a night job, create our own school.

The law doesn't say, be awake in the day.
Lets do things different but, still okay.

We will live our own lives.
Unnoticed at night.

Sometimes I feel like I'm loosing it
Sometimes I feel like I already lost it
But there's that little hope I have deep down in my pocket
I don't try and hope I don't try to expect because every time I do I get let down from it
So I just keep it distant from my actual thoughts
And I'll keep trying my best
but hope is what hurts me
Hope is the let down of the century
You can't hope for what you can't control
And you can't control others so should we hope?
All we do is make wishes
Hoping there's a higher being above us
Hoping we die
hoping we live forever
It's this constant cycle of hate and self loathing .
Sometimes we all feel when we're lonely
But it's you in the end and you can't hope for success you work for it
only you can change you
Only you can judge you
Only you can make yourself happy
And hoping isn't really healthy

Eventually people stop talking I understand.
Iit feels just a week ago you were holding my hand.
I thought it wasn't just going to be me anymore.
Until the last time I talked to you,you walked out the door.
Evey night before i go to sleep I wonder why things change.
It seems as times fly past nothing stays the same.
I wish I can go back in life and fix my mistakes.
I would save alot of love lost and heartbreaks.

I painted a picture
A picture for you
With elegant colors
The perfect stroke
My paintbrush
Painted itself
My emotions
Drew it all out
Patience
As I take time
With each line
The shape of your face
Seeping into the canvas
The perfect picture
In my mind
As I get closer to
The finish line
My patience become
Unnoticeable
I forget to go slow
And my lines become
Scribbles and
It doesn't look like you anymore
I spent hours
Driving myself insane
Hoping it would be perfect
When I put it into your hands
Now you'll never see it
And I wasted time again
Trying to paint the perfect picture
The perfect picture for you.

I dont even know where we are honestly.
Scared of the death of your car battery
Were unfocused
Street signs unnoticed
Though you were in the game
sh*ts been over.
What will we do with our lives  
as we grow older.
Days turn into nights
it gets colder
Do you feel like a badass  
always looking over your shoulder?
You have been used  
so have I.
As I look out the window
just me and you
I realized all the things we have been through.
Wondering why we both take the abuse
thats what love tends to do
Gets us confused
Sometimes in silence lonely in our rooms
its never a goodbye always, “see you soon”
As we drive down the street  fighting or not.
You're always going to be my first thought.
No matter how much i see you its never enough
I can never get sick of your love.

Lay down tonight.
Thinking of you before i go to the sleep.
Stare at the ceiling for awhile.
Drift off into dreams about you and me.
I never ment to hurt you.
Everything just went downhill.
now im stuck with no one.
I know theres been others.
but, not like you.
ive always felt the same way.
I just messed things up.
I know its too late.
Lay down tonight.
In silence and tears.
Wondering what my life would be like.
If you were still here...

One day i will see, how much you mean the world to me.
I will not argue I will not yell.
I will not steal your toys away.
I will not fight I will not tell.
When we get older I want a story to sell.
We always have the bad times and the good.when were asked we do what we should.
We always have each others backs.
When we cry another does too.
My brother and I are always true.
We kept the bad things away and the good we let through.
We went through a lot of thing's together and that's a fact.
Some times we want our father back.
We sit here today thinking about how our lives are going to be.
Everyday i wonder does he think the same as me?

Sorrowful souls fall down around me..
Restless hearts and buried thoughts
surrounding.
Deep breaths and weary eyes..
Im drounding
Found myself, im alive.
Astounding.
Give an applause for the people with courage.
No more drounding.
Im back to the surface.
Can anyone live a life unnoticed.
Get up, show who you are.
EXPLODE IT!
Are dreams may come true if we all try.
Dont ever give up no such thing as goodbyes.
I whipe these tears, from these weary eyes.
I was drounding but, im alright.
Im still alive.
If i was unnoticed.
I would've died.

You can call me stupid, you can call me dumb.
It wont effect me because my emotions are numb.
In the book of insults Iv'e heard them all.
Im use to people just letting me fall.
I am not dissapointed because, I know my purpose.
Doing everything I can , its always worth it.
Im sorry to tell you, no ones perfect.
Negitive comments , i breathe them all in.
As i breathe out, ill never think of them again.
You can't put me down but, you can bring me high.
I love knowing I can just let bad things go by,

Dark days and brighter nights.
Why do we wake, when it doesn't feel right?
Can we go to sleep when the sun rise?

A bunch of people living an unnormal life.
Lets have dinner first and breakfast last.
Lets spend more time then we do cash.
Can we drive on the streets when their empty, not full.
Lets make this bitter life, not so dull.

lets wear sox but, not shoes.
Get use to the ****.
Find a night job, create our own school.

The law doesn't say, be awake in the day.
Lets do things different but, still okay.

We will live our own lives.
Unnoticed at night.

Not only seeing your smile.
Not only seeing you threw your worst.
Not only seeing past your imperfections.
Not only watching you go threw life so easy.
Not  the sleepless nights i know your sound asleep.
Not  the fact that everything reminds me of you.
Not only thinking about you all day.
Not the feeling that you have no clue im here
Not only dreaming of you
Its not the fact that i watch you just watch things go by
The only thing..is knowing your not mine.
The hardest thing is
.........living without you.

Overthink the things you say
I can't believe ,any day.
I can't believe what I see
I can't see the real from the make believe I just hope and Ill just see but, what if what I see isn't reality.
That's the ****** up thing you cant always believe what you see
So what is trust without proof.
What if what I see can't be proved.
I love you
Sincerely ,
Me to you

She loves the way the silence sways.
All alone with an expressionless face.
She doesn't know if she should cry.
Or be happy shes still alive.
Asks herself everyday, if theres a reason she has to stay.
The reson never comes to her head.
As soon as she wakesup she wants to go back to bed.
She knows reality will never come close to her dreams.
When you look at a person.
They aren't always as they seem

Piece of paper slowly drifting in the wind
At  one point that paper had life to it.
The rain washed it away and the wind let it go
What was on that paper no one knows
You left a note, it said goodbye
That's when I realized things get left behind.
There's no need to cry
It happens all the time
Took a journey on its own
To a place unknown  
With different people, different faces
Things leave to different places  
I took the note you left me
Threw it in the wind
Told it to never come back again
Were you went no one knows
I'm still at the place we called home

It seems like everyday i wakeup things just get worse.
Everyday im crying ,but no one knows Im hurt.
Im sick of living,and trying just to be let down.
Maybe one day people will understand when ive just vanished and im not around.
Maybe I will leave and no one would know.
Maybe one day i can see my funeral , see who acctually goes.
Until them im stuck here.
Crumbling and wasting my life away with tears.
Ill just hope and I'll just hope because, thats what I do best.
Ill slowly die all by myself.
With a bullet in my Chest.

The dark nights silence in the trees.
Alone im sitting.
Wishing you were here with me.
The grass is green but,
I see differently.
Shades of brown and
colorless leaves.
I try to turn back from where I began.
No one's there to take my hand..
The stars and the moon
Look better with you.  
As i sit and contemplate
what to do.
I notice how much I miss us two.
Wondering how it would be
If you forgave me...

Have no confidence because no one gives me a reason to.
No compliments because ill never be good enough for you.
All i have in conciousness, building up inside me.
I try and try but, im not the person you want me to be.
I'd rather die then be lonley.
Things aren't that easy..

They all say its a phase but we know that's bllsht .  
For many years we cry about the same old sh*t.
That the adults always clearly miss.  
We are stuck in our minds with no way out.  
Stuck in the thought of getting better somehow.
Its not a phase we just can't get over what's been in our minds so long.  
We make ourselves unhappy because we can't stop thinking about things.
We can't just forget about it and move on.
Hapiness doesn't just come.
Escpecially when things that make you happy always tend to dissapeer.  
We ignore things until it all builds up.
Then we cry about everything that's so messed up.  
They all say is a phase but its never changed things can't always change when your not in control of changing them.
We just have to live with the fact that things can't be perfect  
You can't always fix what's been broken.

Alot of things happen for a reason they say.
Sometimes I think thats why i met you that day.
Iv'e seen something in you, something I never seen before.

Everyday I look into your eyes ..I feel safe.
No matter what time or what place, Its never too late.
I think sometimes we must have been fate.
I remember your face to get me through each day.

When your gone it drives me insane.
When I see you again its like, I haven't seen you in years.  
Thats why i think i like it rite here.  

When im with you I feel like, im home.
They say home is where your heart is , now mines not alone.  
I've been searching for something but you were just found.

Found all alone, and it reminded me of myself.

If we all stand together like a patch of grass.
We can depart with the wind as it blows past
If we all shine together like the sun in the sky.
We can show the world were destine to fly.
If we all attempt this task comined.
We can do anything we have in mind.  
What If we all go our seperate ways?
What If the wind doesn't blow today?
What If the clouds in the sky are in the way of the sun?
What If we try and fly but, it can't be done.
What If is the question

What If Im alone..?

The simplest things aren't so simple.
Seems like the harder i try, the more i fail.
The more i fail, the less i care.
Something goes good.
Something goes wrong
Iv'e lost hope a million times.
but, hope isn't forever lost.
You have to bealive.
You have to care.
you have to put a smile on your face.
Even if no one is there..
Don't ever expect someone to take care of you.
Expect to do things on your own.  
One day there isn't going to be someone..
To help you through your worst.
You have to know how to help yourself
when your hurt

wasted my time.
My last words to you will be saying goodbye.
I've thought for awhile,and ill think some more
This time its over im done forsure.
U played me once and you'll play me again.
I dont even want to be your friend.
I've been saying this forever but, this is the end.  
I hope you dont read this because you probably wont care.
Now move along you have weakness to share.

Can you tell me where to go?
Can you be in my life?
so, im not all alone  
I thought I lost the feeling of being okay.
You brought it back that long cold day.
I was dreaming in reality you caught me by surprise.

Perfect boy, how do you live such a perfect life?
I can't seem to get anything rite.

Why are you so perfect to me?
Everything you do, makes me crazy.

I want to be everything you've ever wished for.
I don't want you to be sad anymore.

Perfect boy, how can someone so imperfect be perfect for you?  
Tell me what i have to do.

Im done being worried I'll loose you.
Every..single...night

I figured out its not your fault.
I need to tell you before its too late.
All those days i thought you left me behind.
Your heart was broken before mine..
All those days i wondered what you were thinking.
I realized you were thinking about me.
All the people that try and replace you.
I laughed at them, I still do.
If one day you don't think anyone cares.
Even though im far away, Im still there.
No matter where you are or what ever happends to you.
I wan't you to know I never stopp

is a whole earth we can walk upon.
There are many waves of water we can sail upon.
There are many people we can meet.
There are many animals attempting to retreat.
This planet we live on, its not so right.
No such thing as peace, its always a fight.
Majority of existance has thought about death..
The rest remembered, some already dead.
So, tell me why are we stuck in this horrid day.
When i look around everythings plain..
No life in people, everyones in pain.
Something needs to change..
If nobody changes neither will earth.
As time goes on, it only gets worse .......

You may think you know.
Your farthest from knowing.  
I can put a smile on my face , just to show the world..
They think they know, they have no idea.
The smiles are sad.
The laughter is tears.
When you go to bed hoping you never wakeup..
You wakeup the next daycrying, still moving on.
Some say the more you move on the stronger you get.
I haven't got stronger one time yet.
Moving on doesn't make you stronger.
It makes you weak.
When no ones there to catch you fall, you have to catch yourself.
Sometimes you fall..
Being independent is good.
But, being lonley to me.
its just sad.

Life comes quickly,memories pass fast,and i sit here today thinking of the past.No more toys and know more piggy tails.No more story's and no more veggie tales.No more fireflies and no more slow goodbyes.No more playing in the rain and no more neosporin for the pain.No more tea party's and no more games.No more taking the blame.This is the start of a different way of life.This is the time a boy finds his wife.A girl falls in love and the toys get thrown away.This is the time to listen to what others have to say

Im falling in love , thats what brought me up.
It was you.
We say this place is hell , we all want to die.
Being around you just gets me high .
Im sorry i dont say what on my mind because , its all so much everytime.
Im litterally speechless when i look into your eyes. I get this feeling everythings secure and im in the arms of and angel, in hell im still alive.
Every breath you take i take it back .
Because a life living with you, has been the best.
I know your sad and you think days go to waste but, being with you makes ne love every place ,every minute,second ,a full day.
You make everything better then just okay.
You do so much for me without doing anything just like you say to me.
I dont care if gods real , this is reality.
They say only god can judge me but , im not worried.
Ill go to hell, because ive been brought to heaven by you already...

I want to be that girl with the perfect boyfriend.
That girl that has friends til the end.
I wanna be that girl that no one talks sh*t about.
That girl that always laughs everything out...
I want to be that girl that gets compliments everyday.
I want to be that girl thats happy to stay.
I want to be that girl that is known for something good.
That girl that always would but never should.
I want to be that girl that wakes up with a smile.
That girl that makes living wothwhile.
But, Im not that girl..
Im someone else..
I try and i try but i can never be perfect.
I guess me trying was never worth it

When you know someones broken by the way they stare at nothing..
The way they look into your eyes.
The moment you want to cry everytime you see them.
The hardest part is knowing they don't even want to be alive.
they are just waiting..
To watch someone fall apart...
Just to be able to look back and remember the day they were happy.
I'd give you a million of my smiles.
Just to see you smile for one day...
Look into your eyes, and know your feeling okay..
I'd give you all the smiles ive ever smiled.
Just to make your problems go away..
I'd do anything to see you truly happy.
for one single day...

When my blood hits the floor, love you more and more.
When my blood drips down my eyes,I think about the times you made me cry.
When my blood is found i make an excuse.
I don't want anyone to know how much i need you..

Im set off on a journey.
With a map I misread.
I take each step slowly.
With some thoughts in my head.
Im set off on this journey
With no where to go.
No looking back
Im far from home.
Just me on a long road at night.
Gasping for breath.
Theres nothing in sight.
As I embark on this journey.
Im stuck at a dead end.
Should I turn back.
Or does this road bend..

waited for so long for you to come back.
Counting everyday I haven't lost track.
They say to get over it and let it be.
I'll miss you forever even if your rite next to me.
No one understands me , they just cant tell.
Just to let you know, Im never doing well.
Im trying to succeed in life just for you.
Your the only person that belives in everything I do.
To know that your somewhere looking at the sky makes me smile.
The moon and the stars can stay for awhile.
For now, I'll take your picture wherever I go.
Look up at the stars while your sitti

Everyday i go throught the same thing.
All im trying to do is be me.
I put on my face a fake smile.
I go through the day as if i did this for awhile.
Inside my head im thinking the worst.
Nobody knows inside im hurt.
I pretend im someone im not.
Who would have thought?
I scream in my head for help once more.
I realized no body can hear me anymore.
I breathe in a little to go through the day.
Just to make sure my smile doesn't go away.
One day i hope somebody can save me.
Until then i'll be the sad person I wished not to be.

She hides her problems
She wants no attention
She wants no one to feel sorry.
Gives her bad intentions.
She uses a smile to hide her frown.
She will be gone, before anyoone figures it out.
She feels she shouldn't be here.
Wasting her life away..tear after tear.
She takes everything to heart.
Shes insecure, she got off on a bad start.
Thats just how she is.
When she looks back it makes her sad.
Why cant she be the happy, she use to have.
Shes here for a reason no one knows why.
Shes here because she doesn't have the courage to say goodbye.
No one knows her name..
Shes just that girl.
Thats all she'll ever be......