Here                      
Here you go
                   Have some feelings
                  Yep a big ******* helping
There!                    
Right there                  
All of them just for you
the whole mess of it, yours!
       Oh but don't show them!
         Not to anybody
Not for any reason
            Or else they will shame you
Because your feelings
They are disgusting
No one cares what feelings you have
Which ones were dumped on your tray
Thats your mess
               for you to deal with
S I L E N T L Y      
  and ALONE
          You don't want everyone
to hate you
Do you?
Because they will if you can't
        keep those feelings to yourself!
               Every thought you have
is always wrong
don't speak of them
And if feelings aren't allowed
don't get started even having
an opinion
Heavens no!
             What an awful thing to have!
          How revolting!
No no!
Keep all those thoughts
those icky little feelings
           and your stupid opinions
locked away deep          
                            deep
                               ­               deep
                                             ­                               deep
                         ­                                  down
                                      inside
Of your miserable little soul
               where there is no light
No warmth
                nothing to tempt them to live
because you don't need to be alive
not inside        
Don't you see?
Nobody wants that for you
      and you always, always
must do, must be      
                     what everyone else wants.
Those are just The Rules.

I know right now it's very tough
to count every single blessing
that maybe you can't even see
the hands waiting to receive you
as you stand there trying so hard
                                    not to cry
they tell you that it's okay
that you can just let it go
to give your pain to the God above
and let Him control the show
I've heard those selfsame words from them
and I have seen the look within their eyes
I know why you shy away
and I know why you want to cry
they don't face their problems
they can't even fix themselves
they think a book and a couple prayers
can make everything whole again
but we both know that's not the case
they believe the words but not the faith
and it only gets more complex
which is something you don't need
                                      right now
all you need is a listener
not someone giving you a sermon
or some crazy, lofty advice
you need hands and arms to hold you
to drive the demons back to the night
so that you can feel safe again
oh believe me, this I have known!
and I know that half your pain
                                      right now
is that you do not feel safe here
I know how truly you feel alone
which is why I've come to you
I heard you calling through the dark
lay in my arms that will keep you warm
and I'll keep you safe from the night
cry until your heart's content
pour your pain onto the ground
let it drip from your fingertips
even if you don't make a sound
I won't whisper in your ear
I won't tell you what to believe
I won't say that God has a plan for you
I know how empty those things seem
All I want is to give to you
a place of safe and shelter
so that you can get what you need
                                          right now.

When I wake up in the morning
the first thing I see is your eyes
I hear you giggle
then someone snores
and then we rise
Sometimes I'll make breakfast
most of the time I don't
since neither of us
are really breakfast people
but you still have your cereal
we'll watch your shows
and go to the park
some would call that a lazy day
but they're wrong
our days are strenuous
full of active adventure
because we'll build castles
and businesses
and lives together
the family that's not a family
but yet we are
because I love you
both of you
with all my heart
it was confusing for a while
this image we're taught
of what families look like
feel like
act like
and that's not us
no matter what
it'll never be us unless it's parody
we are exactly what we need
each other to be
doing all the little things
that make everything else
so terribly dear
even if this family
might not be a family
forever
I know that we have each other
today.

I am strong
I have to be
standing tall
so that others
can ease their burdens
even if for a little while
to give God room
for His good work
sometimes He makes us
heavy lifters
shifting the loads
for the meek and worthy
I feel sometimes
that this strength of mine
is a sentence
a punishment for past crimes
for which I understand
I have not always been good
I have not always been kind
I do not guard my tongue
as I ought to
and I do not follow the rules
I have been a liar
I have also cheated
I sin daily against my Father
and for this I do not question
why I must take these burdens
my worth in incalculable
but my worthiness is debatable
so I must be strong
strong in my body
in my spirit
in my very faithfulness
this trust
it is the source of my strength
for I trust in my God
and not in man
for man is weak
and I am weak
so I must be strong.

"I'm here."                                
So many different meanings
        in such a small sentence

I'm here      
I'm here for you                    
to be with you                  
to save you             
from the world                    
and yourself               

I'm here
                 to be a companion
                     a friend as you need
                          supporting, conversing
             and to go home
                         at the end of the night

I'm here
I stand here
       and this is where
I make my stand
            in this life and the next
                my strength will show

I'm here                                      
breathing and free and chained
struggling through the mess
of being who I want to be
     a duck with oil in its wings
wild and unable to fly

                                                                                          I'm here
                                                                             please help me!
                                                             I'm trapped in this place!
                                                                 The darkness closes in!
                                                             Save me from where I am
                                                               the hole I've dug myself

I'm here
I have arrived
to this place of your location
my presence is duly noted
and when I'm done here
                        I will leave

I'm here
I am here for you
  unasked and unashamed
always waiting  
footsteps beside yours
   to carry some of the burden

I am love      
I am a friend
I am strong  
I am alive    
I am lost      
I am motion
I am near    
    I am not-alone
I'm here.