The sun sent a kiss through
The window but it never landed on his lips.
The sun tried to feel
his rounded his face
but he left with the shadows
Preventing the sun's radiant fingers
from
Caressing his face.
I too sent a kiss
         Tried to feel
but my advancements
were met with
dodging behind the shadows
Pulling back at the last second
avoidance of every kind.
We stare with tear stricken eyes
from a distance
while our anger
Consumes all logic
Releasing jealousy
whenever
someone grows
near.

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

I am an artist.
I can make myself into something new
every day.
Imagine the possibilities you could
innovate,
Just let me know what you want.
Here, flip through this magazine for some
ideas,
And tell me what you like best!
It’s all about pleasing your audience
anyways,
It doesn't matter what I want,
Nobody cares about that.
They just want to see something pretty.

I sculpt and paint imagery out of tools
To end up with a fake canvas.
Day to day I suppress myself with the lies.
I chip and chisel,
Dissect and carve,
Bits and pieces,
Until I’m left trembling,
Just to be tossed away in the end.

Splashes of red,
And strokes of black ignite your appeal,
And this is what you label as real?
Hunger strikes itself through the bones
Revealing its power through the limbs
Of the body, eye sockets, sinking down,
Down,
Down.
Death could possibly be the resemblance.

What a terrible piece, a shame it is.
Maybe just a few more tweaks,
And it will at least look halfway decent.

Trim down the sides,
Thin out any extras,
Fill in what is needed.
Even just a tad more color,
Then we have something.

Time strolls by,
A year soon passes,
And one day I just happen to actually
stop,
And look at my masterpiece,
But only for a moment.

In the mirror,
A reflection stares back at a wretched,
Ghostly,
Figure.
Beads of liquid build up into my pallid
eyes,
Unable to contain the weight of their
reasons any longer,
Tears begin to burst,
They trickle down my rose stained
cheeks,
Fueled by the absence of perfection,
And I feel nothing.

Needs more work.

A dark river
at night,
how beautiful.

The treacherous rapids,
and stretches of gentle water,
that never last.

Even the river ends,
spilling out into a lake
or an ocean,
or even another river.

Some rivers are underground.

Those are the darkest rivers,
one hopes they can cross when the time comes.

But from this position,
on top of a small pile of rocks,
in the gentle stretch of the river,
there are rapids ahead,
another battle to be fought.

But beyond the churning water,
is this mist.

It sparkles,
it's so beautiful,
it feels safe,
but it's unknown.

And if the battle is won,
i'll be lost in that sparkling mist,
that hides all shadows.

When the sun rises
and the mist fades away,
will I fade as well?

Or, when the mist fades
will it clear my vision?
...
But I have to leave my island
and fight those dark, churning waters
first.

Then I'll know for sure.

You laid your eyes on me and beamed. Oh gosh I can feel my stomach flutter! 
You walked away. I turned away. Maybe he doesn’t want to see me.
Someone is calling someone and suddenly I hear someone calling my name.
That voice, the voice I wanted to hear everyday,
The same voice I dream to have conversations with.

I missed that voice. The voice I used to hear singing me songs.
The voice I used to hear saying my name, sweetly.
That voice that sent shivers through my spine.
The same voice that I hear even when I’m dreaming.
Your voice who told me those two big words, “Trust me.”

I glance back and saw you, nearer. As if you wanted to talk to me.
That hair, your messy hair that goes beyond perfect with your looks.
Those dimples, your five ******* dimples that will only be visible when you smile.
And yet I’m seeing that smile, as if it was made for me, only for me to see.
Those eyes, those brown smoky eyes that lit up my soul whenever I look at it.

But I instantly pushed those thoughts away. Maybe he’ll going to ask me why I’m here.
“Why are you here?” Watching you. I’m watching you from afar. That’s the truth!
“I just want to talk to her.” To you! It’s you that I want to talk to, always.
    ⎯ “I need to ask her something.” What’s wrong with my mouth? It says clashing words from what I really wanted to say. It’s like it’s have it’s own life that I can’t control. Or maybe,
I’m just afraid to reveal my feelings in view of the fact that you might not feel the same.

“Oh, I thought you’re wat⎯” you murmur, “never mind. It’s nothing.” You walked away.
And as your body walk off with mine, you brought my heart but never left yours with mine.
Most of the times it confuse me, why are we afraid?
Here we go again… Afraid to say the words worth saying, and not risking anything.
And maybe, I’ll **** that someone who introduce us the phrase, “Prevention is better than cure.”
As it is harder to prevent someone you love, when you know that it’s them who can cure you.

i lay awake at night
and
listen to the sound the rain makes.
it spatters onto the ground with such purpose
that i can not help but feel jealousy in the pit
of my empty stomach.
the rain knows where its going and where its been.
i wander, confused at who i am and who i'm going to be.
i crave the feeling of certainty.
to know if i'm going to pull the string attached to my lips
and pull it into another forced smile another day.
i lay awake at night and
wish to be a drop of rain.

Let me take a moment
To study you
I want to discover every intricate detail
I want to memorize
The way your eyes light up the room
The way I can see your wisdom
Your kindness
Your your love
Pool in the vast oceans
Of the most beautiful blue I have ever seen.
I want to savor
The way your lips move
When you speak
Sing
Smile
Laugh              
As the sound moving through those lips
Washes over me
Filling me with warmth
Infinitely sweeter than anything I have ever encountered.
I want to lose myself
In the beauty of your hairFlowing down
As Elegant and breathtaking
As a waterfall
It's scent filling my nostrils
Overwhelming me with the feeling of home
I want to permanently embed into my memory
The curvature of your neck
So soft and warm
Inviting
Soothing
Comforting
Captivating me with the feel
The smell
The taste
Of your skin.
I want to synchronize myself with your heartbeat                  
Steady, rhythmic                  
Stronger than the largest river
Spreading your blood
Your life
Your love
Throughout your body.
I remember your hands
Strong and delicate at the same time
Wiping away my tears
Stroking my hair
Holding me up
Fighting away my fears.
I want to memorize your body
Every curve enticing and beautiful
The way it feels perfect while it's against mine
No part of your body needs any change
Its perfect that's all there is to it.
I want to keep these all in my mind forever.
I never want to forget
The way you make me feel.
I want to love you forever  
That's what I intend to do.