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 Jul 2013 Jay
LJ Chaplin
Brave
 Jul 2013 Jay
LJ Chaplin
To those of you who read this,
Who feel like they don't belong,
Who feel that they are the jagged puzzle piece,
Let me tell you one word that describes who you are:
Brave

You stare into the cruel faces of the ones who belittle you,
Who have made you feel like you are nothing
Like you are too fat
Too thin
Too ugly
A ****
A freak
A ******
A ******

You stare deep into their eyes and with all of your might you tell them,
I am braver than you
I am stronger than you.

You will NOT be defined,
You will NOT be dominated by the perfect society we apparently live in
You will NOT be contained like animals in the cages of your despair and live in the shadows.

Together, we will revolt against the ones who have pushed us into the dirt

We are soldiers. We march in unison with our heads held high and the shining sun of pride on our backs,

We are the renegades who will accomplish the mission who will wave the sweet flag of victory above us,

We are the people who are perfect.

Please remember, dear readers:

You are more than a number on the scale
You are more than a social stereotype
You are more than the blade you hold between your fingers

YOU
ARE
**BRAVE
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
if i had a reason for every scar on my thigh
and ones that i could remember
i would write them all down
just to see
what hurt the most
what threw me over the edge
with no regrets
just to have a clear list
of what i can't handle
so i would maybe stop
creating the same problems
over
and
over
again
step one:
stop falling
in love
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
helpless
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
my dad thinks there's something wrong with me
i never sleep
he is right
but i won't tell him he is
because he wouldn't know
what to do
i feel like a kitten in the ocean
and i am just too tired
to swim
but too small
to find
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
i wonder if all my friends
can see me slowly dying
in front of them

but it seems the more despondent i get
the louder i am
in public
i am trying to drown out
the depression
but it likes to pounce
when i am alone
but i can't stand being around people
all the time
but
but
but
i am too tired
for any of this
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
joyful girl
 Jul 2013 Jay
Redshift
i wish i could be a bird
and accidentally eat uncooked rice
at someone's wedding
that i only attended
because there were so many interesting people
that wanted to
thoughtlessly **** me
just so i could die
and blame someone
other than myself
for it
"i do it for the joy it brings,
because i am
a joyful
girl"
 Jul 2013 Jay
LJ Chaplin
Angels
 Jul 2013 Jay
LJ Chaplin
Angels are not just souls from heaven who possess wings and a halo,
They not just guardians that have been assigned to us by some spiritual being.

For me, angels are far more real and closer than they seem.
They have more than one identity,
More than one face,
More than one gender,
More than one soul to guide home.

They won't help you win your battles,
But will give you the strength and the ammunition to fight,
They will scream through your soul to your demons if they have to,
Just as long as you have the courage to banish them.

My angels have embodied many forms,
From a young woman whose heart is as bold as the vibrant pink in her hair,
Who has used her own personal suffering and grief to empower herself and everyone around her,
Who has continuously fought her demons and aided the banishment of those who dwell in the people close to her,
Who is braver, stronger and has more love to give than anyone I have ever known.
A heart of a Lion. A soul of a Warrior

To another, a young man who is distant but feels closer than ever,
Who has given me the strength to laugh,
Who has graced me with his strong humour and wit,
Who has never strayed despite the long hours that we spend without communication.
A heart of a child. A soul of a Samaritan

And finally another young woman,
She has given her heart to others,
Who has faced days of rejection,
But still has the ferocity to hold on and keep her head high.
A heart of gold. A soul of a soldier

These angels have helped me
To think again
To speak again
To live again

**And I thank them. I thank them and cherish them. I will always treasure their compassion.
This poem is dedicated to some very special friends. They have done so much, it's virtually impossible to thank them. I don't deserve their compassion and support.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Life's a Beach
I never want to hurt,
yet it seems there is a
two edged choice.
I either seem to hurt or
be hurt.
And to be hurt is pure
pain, a
slow death with
no escape.
But somehow hurting
feels worse,
to me...
because I know what it's like.
I don't want to give up on
love...
but I don't know if I can
play this 'game'
anymore.
When all that prospers
are my tears.
Too scared to love, yet terrified
to be
alone.
I feel done.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Anon Y Mous
.45
 Jul 2013 Jay
Anon Y Mous
.45
God ******!
For 22 years I've wondered
what the **** is wrong with me
why do i have no friends
no relationships
nobody
Then it hits me
Obviously it's all my fault
I must have done something for you to leave me before i was born
right dad?
You couldn't stand to think that this mistake you made could be someone
And something i did made you think of me as a toy
something to pleasure you while he was away,
mom?
I did things that no child should be put through
****
No wonder I'm ****** up
no wonder i can't hold a decent relationship with anyone
Please tell me
Can I just take a .45 to my skull
blow away that mush inside called a brain.
Maybe them I'll stop caring about the pain.
Cuz even a life as a vegetable
has to be better than the hell i'm in now.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Peter G Knight
I have reached an age where I don’t sleep
A lot, she said, except perhaps a little
After lunch, or sometimes in the morning
While I wait for that Norwegian girl
Who comes to do my plants and pots and pans
And brings me those old fashioned custard tarts.
And when she leaves I might just close my eyes
To take a moment’s rest, or two, before
I start another chapter of this book.
I will sit up and read all night, you know,
As I have reached an age where I don’t sleep
Except perhaps a little, after lunch,
Or sometimes in the morning, while I wait.
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