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 Aug 2013 Jay
Redshift
i no longer look both ways before crossing the street
i have decided to let Chance
have his way with me.
i've stopped stopping at stop signs
and watching my step on steep inclines

but Chance is a petty *******
and pays no respect to Intentions
be they good, bad, or
mediocre

i'm sure Chance wants me dead
him and all his friends
are tired of me
but he only wants his way
on his own terms.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Miriam
Jesus Christ
 Jul 2013 Jay
Miriam
without You here i can't see;
i may as well be blind

You called Yourself Light
and it seems i've crawled inside a cave because all i see is darkness

(i am so so so sick of myself)

when You look at me,
what do You see?

do You still feel the love You've had for me
when You were dying on a rugged cross
at Calvary?

i've touched the holes in Your hands
and i ran away in fear because i finally understood that You are who You said You were

and i am a mess, i am a mess, i am a mess
and i let go of my Maker's hand to dance with a world who wanted nothing but to **** His Son

Jesus Christ, will You still believe me if i tell You that i love You?
after all of these things that i do?
i feel like i can't keep up;
my sins are swallowing me whole

Jesus Christ, i want to fall in love with You
i'm trying to grab a hold of Your cloak
but the crowd has trampled me under their feet and i can't get up from the ground and it's getting really cold

Jesus Christ, i know You love me
and sometimes that can be so hard to believe, but i know that it's true

because even when i was drowning in iniquity
You were still holding out Your hand and whispering that You still love me and Your love is unchanging and faithful and full

and when You saw me at my worst—
You still chose to bear my sins
upon that ***** jagged wood

in this darkness, Jesus Christ, it can be so hard to see,
but i believe You when You said
that You have never, not once, left me

*You love me,
You still love me,
You will still love me,

i am still Yours
and You are still mine.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Passion fire hope
you expect me to love her?
when you put her on a pedestal and love her more than your own daughter?
**** wheres your head at?
you wont even come to hear me sing...
you never even came to one swim meet...
the only time your "involved in my life" is when i go to your house and watch you pay bills when that's suppose to be "our" time.
you never make any effort to even acknowledge that I'm your daughter unless i do something for you.
i thought you said after you settle down and got married that you would  have more time for me...
...yet look how that worked out for us.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Passion fire hope
God bless America
this so Godless America...
this cold world... anybody give a ****?
everybody living for everybody
life living for everybody...
Leaders teaching that being blessed means being rich
having ten different women.... having **** to smoke and beer to drink.
Don't get me wrong im not saying im all that different.
how can anybody be different
when we are standing in the middle of it?
God, **** this is *******...
where can anybody find you in all this?
when all we hear about is war from religion, poverty, and sickness?
God, help me find you in all this. cause i cant help but become so blind to you in all this.
My minds in a blur cause im just finding out there's no ******* cure to this scary disease.
its a cold world...
God bless America
this so Godless america
 Jul 2013 Jay
Sinai
How to grow up
 Jul 2013 Jay
Sinai
They taught us to swim to the dark.
And that anything more than *******
is a fetish, and fetishes are grose.
Never run with something in your mouth,
never leave your room empty-handed,
never touch yourself.
Do what makes you rich, not happy.
And be a feminist, but make sure you spoil your husband,
cause when he cheats it's your fault.
Wear **** underwear from lace
under your knee-long skirt.
And no matter what happens,
swim to the dark.
 Jul 2013 Jay
LJ Chaplin
I've got 99 problems and you're 98 of them,
Would you like me to repeat?
Shall I tell you again?
You frustrate me,
Irritate me,
You really do deflate me.

I'm trying to breathe hard
And swallow down the swear words,
But it's getting to the point
Where those sweet words need to be heard.

I've been a patient guy,
So give me some credit,
But I will be ripping into you
And when you read this I would've already said it.

I'm not a mean person,
I'm actually quite passive,
But if you tick me off,
My response will be massive.
B words,
F words,
And multiple more I shouldn't say,
But I've had enough of being treated
Like I'm the leftover cigarette **** at the bottom of your ashtray.
 Jul 2013 Jay
Steven Hutchison
i am tracing prophecies
on the scroll of your skin
forming my own words
over your tattoos
proclaiming you
invincible
fearless
free
 Jul 2013 Jay
Sinai
Issues
 Jul 2013 Jay
Sinai
I seem to fail
in finding his love
in the arms of
the boys I ****.

Because
even though they want me
like you never did
they leave me
just the same.

And maybe freud was right.
I am looking for a guy
just as scary as you,
just as crazy.
Because the only male attention
younger me got
was the hurting kind.
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